


Sick Boy

by lovesafragilelittleflame



Series: Hopeless Kingdom [4]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:54:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 108,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29179041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesafragilelittleflame/pseuds/lovesafragilelittleflame
Summary: No matter the consequences, I had a feeling Bella Swan would be worth them all. - Edward's POV of crucial moments from Hopeless Kingdom and reputation - AU / AH / RATED M
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Series: Hopeless Kingdom [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/950964
Kudos: 1





	1. Alone

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: All recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

**_ Sick Boy _ **

_Don’t believe the narcissism when everyone projects and expects you to listen to ‘em. Make no mistake, I live in a prison. That I built myself, it is my religion. And they say that I am the sick boy, easy to say when you don’t take the risk, boy. ~ The Chainsmokers, **Sick Boy**_

“So, have you ever heard of this chick?” Emmett asked me as we entered the ostentatiously decorated ballroom. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the perfectly set tables and the useless decorations hanging from the ceiling. If the police department cut back on this fucking party maybe they wouldn’t be so desperate for donations.

“What chick?”

“The commissioner sent out an email about some actress coming tonight. I think he’s hoping she’ll help him bring in more donations.”

We were nearing our table now. Our family had been coming to this event since I could remember. The first time I came I was sixteen. I’ve had to suffer through ten of them and each one is worse than the last. It was always the same; police officers forced to suck up to us to keep our donations rolling in. It was equally amusing and pathetic to watch the commissioner sweet talk Carlisle. Everyone in this room knew who we were and what we had done, but they couldn’t touch us.

“Just what this place needs, a spoiled brat who thinks a police benefit is the place to make connections,” I grumbled to Emmett as we made it to our table.

“You don’t even know who it is, Eddie. What has your panties in a twist?” Emmett chuckled.

What’s the point of having an actress here anyway?”

I didn’t have time for movies, and I didn’t have the patience to sit through two hours of nonsense. I couldn’t see the point to any of it. Actors were just overpaid liars. I sat in the seat I’ve had for the past ten years, but then a sweet voice interrupted me from behind.

“They’re the worst, aren’t they? All airheads who can’t form complete sentences that aren’t about themselves.”

My head snapped to the woman sitting next to me. This was definitely an improvement from previous years. She was stunning. Long brown hair framed a sweet, heart-shaped face. She was a tiny, petite little thing.

“This lovely woman agrees with me, Emmett, so I must be right.” I smirked at her before looking back at my brother. “Why people are so fascinated with actors is beyond me. It’s a useless profession if you ask me.”

Alice and Jasper took their seats across from us, and I gave Jasper a nod.

“Edward! You’re being rude!” Alice shrieked at me. I frowned at her. I was in no mood for her tonight. I loved my sister dearly but she was a shit-ton of work. I didn’t know how Jasper put up with her half of the time.

The woman next to me held her hand out. “Bella Swan, resident airhead. Nice to meet you.” Fuck. She was the actress. I grasped her tiny hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Edward, switch seats with me. I want to – “

“No, Alice.” I snapped in her direction. I was suddenly very intrigued by Bella Swan.

She looked guilty now. Possibly misconstruing my frustration with my sister with anger toward her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to –“

“You have nothing to apologize for. Please excuse my rudeness about you and your profession.” I told her with what I hoped was a reassuring smile. I wasn’t used to smiling so much, so it could have come across as more of a grimace than I intended.

I took my time and really looked at her. She had a long, slender neck that was begging to be kissed. She reached up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear and a flash of ink caught my eye. On first glance she didn’t seem like the tattoo type, but as I looked closer I saw a slew of ink covering her arms. Not full sleeves, nowhere close, but she had a sexy spattering of words and images on her skin.

Without thinking it through, I leaned into her and whispered, “You’re beautiful.” A satisfying blush covered her cheeks.

She chatted with Alice for a few minutes, but I ignored most of the conversation. I watched her instead. Bella was perfectly polite, smiling when necessary and giving her thanks when complimented. She was definitely uncomfortable with the praise, though.

Her demeanor shifted when Alice mentioned something about a chick flick. “Welcome to the Badlands?” I asked, completely clueless as to what they were talking about.

“Oh, um, my last project. It was kind of a movie about my life, leading up to now.” Bella said. She brought her hands onto the table and fidgeted with her nails.

My eyes sought out the ink on her arms, taking in every curve of every letter. Most of the women I had been with in the past were prim and proper, the socialite type. They were easy, wanting to be part of the Cullen family made them quick to jump in my bed. There were a few nameless faces thrown in my memory, but they were all hazy, clouded by a drugged-out mind.

None of those women would have walked in here with a single tattoo visible on their skin. They would look at this woman as being beneath them simply because of the ink on her skin. They were all shallow, self-centered gold diggers.

“I want to lick every one of those tattoos,” I whispered to Bella. It was all I could do to keep from lifting an arm to my lips right now. She grasped one of her arms and lightly traced the ink with her fingers. _Imagine how much better my tongue would feel, baby._

“I actually tried to get tickets to see you this weekend! We were out of the country when they went on sale, and by the time we got back they were all sold out. I’ve heard amazing things about the show, though.” Alice said. My sister was a nosey little thing, but it was working in my favor tonight.

“What show?” I asked.

“Oh, she based the movie off of an album she wrote. Or was the album based off of the movie? It’s so original! Now she’s on tour, right Bella?”

Bella shifted in her seat subtly, obviously uncomfortable again. Alice was oblivious, of course. “You seem to know more about me than I do,” she mumbled under her breath. She obviously hated that Alice was talking for her, hated that Alice already knew the answer to any questions I could ask about her.

“So, are you an actress or a musician?” I asked her directly, ignoring my sister completely.

“She can’t act in anything for a year because she jumped off the sinking ship that was the _Clash_ series. No offense Bella, but those movies… bleh.”

I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes at my sister as she answered for Bella, yet again. I took a sip of water to distract myself.

“Oh, they’re fucking horrible,” Bella blurted out.

Some water got stuck in my throat and I coughed a few times. Hearing the curse escape her perfectly glossy lips had my cock at attention. _Oh, the fucking we could do._

Then, she smirked at me. Her pretty pink lips curved and her brown eyes sparkled. She knew what she was doing.

Bella talked with Alice some more, something about tickets, and then Rosalie showed up with my parents. Rosalie was her usual, cold-hearted self. She would hate sitting at a table with an actress. Her glare toward Bella told me all it needed to.

“She hates it when she’s not the most beautiful woman in the room,” I whispered to Bella, hoping it took away some of the sting of Rose’s glare. Bella cleared her throat, obviously affected by my words, and I couldn’t help but smirk at her. I loved knowing I had even the smallest effect on her.

My mother distracts Bella with conversation, and Emmett punches my shoulder. “Dude, you totally have to bang the actress. She’s hot.”

It wasn’t an odd conversation to be having with my brother. He may have settled down with Rosalie, but he was just as… free with women as I was at one point. I didn’t like him talking about Bella like that, though. Something just felt wrong about it.

“Eddie! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Fucking hell. Irina’s claws dug into my shoulders, but my eyes stayed glued on Bella’s as she eyed the blond behind me. “Irina,” I grunted out in greeting.

“Come dance with me,” she slurred in my ear. She pressed her chest up against my back as her arms wrapped around my neck. The scent of her over perfumed body made me nauseous.

“No.”

“Oh, come on, Eddie,” Irina grabbed my arm and tried to pull me toward her, but I twisted my hand and wrapped it around her wrist. I pulled her into me, my lips at her ear.

“It’s done, Irina. Get the fuck away from me before I do something you’ll regret.” She gets the message, thankfully, and skitters off to look for another conquest.

“Ex-girlfriend?” Bella asked me. She was trying to be nonchalant, casually taking a sip of her water as she asked, but she wanted answers. I could tell.

“Unfortunately,” I grumbled out. I never would have called Irina a girlfriend, but she was a good fuck if I ever needed one.

“I was thinking you had better taste than that.” Bella smirked at me, and every thought of Irina vanished from my mind. That smirk would be the death of me.

“Dude, she’s so into you,” Emmett whispered in my ear. I shoved him away from me. I didn’t need his observations.

Food was placed in front of us and I leaned down toward Bella again. “I want to –“ she flinched away from me, though. I frowned at her, wondering what happened to end our little game.

“Please stop.”

I let her eat in peace, but I watched her carefully. She listened to the conversation around the table, led mostly by Alice, and didn’t say much. Could she have heard one of Emmett’s remarks? I didn’t think so. He was an idiot, but he had the decency to whisper.

She set her napkin down on her plate and I knew she was about to make an escape, probably hating this event as much as I used to. I had a newfound appreciation for it, though.

People around us were finishing their meals and the music got a bit louder. I saw couples standing and swaying around us. I gripped her hand. “Dance with me?”

“Oh, I should really get going,” she said, dropping my hand and standing. “I really don’t dance.”

I mimicked her movements and had her glorious body pressed against mine. We swayed away from the tables toward the dance floor. “It’s all in the leading.”

“Edward, I –“

I pulled her even closer to me. I felt every curve of her body against me. She was tall, but I could hear the soft click of heels on her feet. My entire body felt like a live wire with her. “You feel it. I know you do.”

“Look, you don’t want me. It’s just a fantasy –“

“I’ve never had a fantasy about you. Well, not yet.” I fully intended to dream about those tattoos tonight.

“You don’t want me.” Her voice was harsh and her eyes determined.

“How do you know what I want?” I challenged.

“Because I know me.” Her voice was so sad and small, the complete opposite of the woman who challenged and smirked at me just half an hour before.

“But _I_ don’t know you. I don’t know how old you are or where you grew up. I don’t know what kind of music you like or make. What I do know is you’re beautiful and witty. My sister loves you and you went out of your way to make her happy even though you’re miserable.”

She stopped moving with me and backed away. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Bella walked away then. I didn’t follow her, but I watched her glide across the room with grace. The peach dress that I failed to notice before clung to her body and swayed with her movements.

“Don’t harass the poor girl, Cullen.” Embry Call, prosecutor from hell, placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Fuck off, Call,” I glared at him and headed back to the table. The rest of the night dragged on, as it usually does at this thing. With Bella’s seat empty, Irina came back over and attempted a more subtle tactic of flirting with me. Unfortunately, my mother seemed to think she walked on water so I had to suffer next to her for another hour before I finally left.

I didn’t bother changing out of my suit when I got to my penthouse. I went straight to my office and shamelessly googled Bella Swan. A slight twinge of guilt hit my gut because I had a feeling she hated it that people got to know her through stories before they actually met her, but once I started reading I couldn’t stop.

She had an Academy Award. I didn’t pay attention to the entertainment industry, but I did know that was damn impressive. Especially at her age, she had to be in her early twenties.

I read a bit about the _Clash_ series that Alice mentioned earlier. It was another teen franchise, like the one Bella got her start staring in, but they screwed her over. They promised good scripts and quality co-stars and threw her in with a group of unknowns and a script that, according to the author of this article, was nothing like the books the film was supposed to be based on.

Her tenacity to get out of the series was inspiring. From the little knowledge I had of the entertainment industry, it just wasn’t something actresses usually did. She had to go a year without acting while the finished the series, but there was a quote from her saying she’d rather not work for a year than be subject to that series again.

She was a spit-fire.

I watched her win awards, saw her trip up the stairs at the Academy Awards. I watched her in interviews and she had this perfect, dry humor.

It was nearly four in the morning by the time I pulled myself away from the computer. I felt like a fucking stalker, but I stayed away from articles that centered around her personal life. I only wanted to know about her in a professional sense.

I would work on the personal later.

… _Sick_ …

I parked in the blocked off portion of the garage in the arena. I tossed a fifty to the guard and he nodded at me. I walked around to the front of the arena and found the rest of my family.

“Gotta say, I’m surprised you wanted to come to this,” Jasper told me while Alice gave the clerk her information.

“I’m… intrigued.” It was the truth. Something about Bella Swan had me wanting to know more. Maybe that was what she wanted. Perhaps it was just the Hollywood way, luring people in so they paid attention to you. I could be just as disgusting as the people who followed her around with cameras, but none of them had ever had her pressed up against them. They didn’t feel the same need I felt.

“Don’t fuck her over or I’ll never hear the end of it,” Jasper grumbled. I looked over at my sister and had to laugh. She had on a shirt that was obviously some sort of official Bella Swan merchandise.

I looked around at the other people waiting to enter the arena. I was pleased to see Bella’s fan base wasn’t full of ten-year-olds. Most were teenagers, some likely in their early years of college. One thing I didn’t do last night was listen to her music, so I didn’t know what to expect from tonight.

“Oh, a suite!” Alice exclaimed. I looked over her shoulder and saw that Bella had given us a suite, probably big enough for twenty. When we got to the suite we were informed that all food and drink had been taken care of. Bella had pulled out all of the stops for my sister, it seemed. She also had a stack of backstage passes on the table in the suite.

That made my plan much easier. It would have been a hassle to sneak backstage. Doable, but still a hassle. I needed to get Bella Swan out of my system, and it was going to take more than a night on Google to do that.

Her show was possibly the most erotic thing I had ever seen. The way she swayed across the stage and the sound of her smooth voice over the speakers had me subtly adjusting myself in my jeans all night.

I was attracted to Bella Swan, there was no doubt about that. More attracted to her than I had ever been to the faceless women I remembered from my past conquests. She was dangerous, but I needed more of her.

After the show, by the time we were ushered to a room backstage, I was desperate. It was torture, seeing her from afar. I knew what that skin felt like under my hands, I knew how soft her hair was when it brushed up against me.

The room had about twenty other groups in it. A few were in actual tears as they waited for Bella.

“Hey, guys!” Bella exclaimed as she walked in the room. The screams were nearly as loud as they had been when it had been thousands of people. She had a girl wrapped around her, both of their arms clinging to the other.

She was perfectly at ease meeting all of these people. She laughed and hugged and thanked every person for coming. It appeared I was wrong in assuming celebrities were vain, self-centered creatures. It seemed Bella wanted nothing more than to bring a smile to someone’s face. I vowed to get her to smile, a genuine smile, at me before the night was over.

“Hollywood! Good to see ya again!” Emmett shouted. He had taken advantage of the drink situation and was just shy of being completely wasted.

She didn’t look at Emmett, though. Her eyes locked with mine, even as Alice wrapped her in a hug. She talked with Alice for a moment before I situated myself next to her. She was in a pair of boots now, which must have had a shorter heel than last night because she was a good head shorter than me now.

“You were stunning,” I told her honestly. She was, _is_.

“T-thank you,” she stuttered.

A blonde woman came over and announced it was time for a picture. I wrapped my arm around Bella’s waist, making sure she stood next to me. She fit there perfectly.

“Thank you, guys for coming,” she said, carefully sliding out of my arm. She gave everyone a hug, even Rosalie despite her obvious indifference toward Bella. It didn’t seem to faze her at all. When Bella got to me I reveled in feeling her against me again. She smelled like springtime flowers, but with a hint of sweat. “Talk to the woman who took the picture.”

_Success_.

When Bella moved on to the next group I found the blonde woman by the door. “Bella told me –“

“You must be the guy,” she mumbled to herself. She looked over to where Bella was talking with a woman, probably only a few years older than her, and she nodded. “Come with me.”

She led me out of the room and down the hall to a door with Bella’s name on it. She opened it but stood in the doorway preventing me from entering. “When’s her birthday?”

“What?”

“Her birthday. Do you know when it is?”

“No.”

“Good,” I frowned at her odd questioning. “Everyone already knows everything about her. She doesn’t just have me bring random men to her dressing room. You’re not a crazed stalker if you don’t know her birthday.” She smiled at me, but then frowned again. “Don’t hurt her.”

She left me in the room alone after that. There was a pile of random objects in the corner of the room. Bags of several miscellaneous things like blankets, notes, binders… all completely random things with one thing in common: Bella.

I opened one of the binders and started reading some of the letters inside. The first one was from a kid who said she listened to Bella’s music to drown out her parents when they fought. There was a girl who listened to it in school when kids would bully her. And there was a boy who used it to escape from the fears he had of coming out to his parents.

I turned around at the sound of the door opening and saw Bella standing there. I couldn’t help but smile at her. “You have very loyal people supporting you.”

She looked at me for a minute, her eyes raking over my entire form. _Good sign_. “Oh, yeah, they’re amazing.”

I closed the binder and took a few steps toward her. She took a few back.

“Wait. I just – I’m a mess. I work too much and I have nearly every moment of my life planned for me. I’m stalked by paparazzi and I have people constantly talking about me, either to my face or online. I talk to a therapist twice a week because you were right, I am miserable. At least sometimes.

“I got royally fucked over by the last guy I was with. I’ve only dated… three guys so I have no clue what I’m doing when it comes to relationships. I don’t – “

I had heard enough. I took three quick steps toward her, cupped her sweet face in my hands, and let my lips cover hers. I didn’t have the patience for a gentle first kiss. I spent all night watching her lips move as she sang, imagining how perfect they would feel against mine. _I was right_.

I pressed her against the door and kept our lips moving in tandem until I had to let us both breathe again. I moved down her neck and sucked lightly at a little dimple in her skin. My arms wrapped around her waist and I let one of my fingers slide underneath the hem of her shirt to feel a sliver of soft skin.

She started to mumble something else, but when I pressed my cock against her thigh her words turned into a quiet moan. I left her neck to venture up to her lips again, but she turned her head away from me.

“I have to be out of here in ten minutes.”

I didn’t make any effort to move away from her. I skimmed my nose along her jaw and nipped at her lips lightly. “You’re staying at The Five, correct?”

I felt her body stiffen. “How do you know that?” 

I chuckled lightly. It was a bit of an oversight on my part. “I own it.”

“Oh.”

I went back to my new favorite spot where her neck meets her shoulder. “Stay with me tonight?”

“But I –“

“I live in the penthouse of The Five. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“I’m not sleeping with you. At least, not tonight.”

It took all of my willpower not to groan out loud. “That’s okay. I would still like to spend some more time with you. You’ll be free to go back to your room whenever you’d like.”

My own words surprised me, because I meant them. I had said things like that to countless women in the past, but I never meant it. I had no interest in getting to know anything about them. But when I spoke them to Bella, I meant every word.

She was trouble, but maybe the best kind of trouble.

… _Sick_ …

She was standing with her back to me, looking out the floor-to-ceiling window that made up the back wall of the penthouse. She was fucking stunning.

“How long have you lived here?” She asked me and turned around. She jumped a bit, noticing my close proximity, but eventually relaxed as I trailed my fingers along her arm.

“A few years,” I shrugged. “Will you tell me about these?”

“They’re mostly random song lyrics,” she shrugged, but then she grasped the bottom button of her shirt and slowly undid each one. I held my breath as she got to the top and let it fall to the ground. She smirked at me and tugged on the nude tank top she had on underneath it. “I’m not that easy, Mr. Cullen.”

No, she wasn’t. Most women in her situation would have already been in my bed, but she was standing here and already had me wrapped around her little finger. Bella explained her tattoos and the meaning behind each of them. I liked that she didn’t get them just to seem cool, or as an act of defiance as a teenager. She got them because they meant something to her.

When she was done going through hers, I unbuttoned my own shirt. I enjoyed the hunger that flashed in her eyes as she stared at my bare chest but turned quickly to show her my back. I had gotten the Cullen crest tattooed a month after my first kill. It was a rite of passage in our family. Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper all had matching ones.

“It’s beautiful,” Bella whispered. Her fingertips traced the ink on my back and I simultaneously loved and feared how much I felt just from that little touch.

“It’s no Academy Award.”

I turned around to look at her, but I only caught a flash of brown hair as she wrapped her arms around me and fused her lips to mine. Her nails dug into my back and I reveled in the slight sting they left behind.

Everything about her filled my senses. Her tongue tangled with mine and I didn’t hesitate to lift her into my arms. She was a tiny little thing, and she wrapped her legs around me and she just felt _right_.

I sat on the couch with her in my lap and moaned when she pulled lightly at my hair. Her hips bucked right into my painfully hard cock and I had to pull away from her.

“Sweetheart, you’re going to have to stop that if you don’t want to end up naked, writhing in my bed tonight.” Had it been any other woman in my arms, I would have taken it as an invitation to fuck her right here, but I didn’t want that. I wanted to take my time when I finally got her to myself.

An hour later she was showered and wearing my clothes. It made me regret my decision to do nothing more than some heavy petting. Bella sat across from me on the bed, her legs folded under her, and asked me how old I was.

“I just turned twenty-six. You?” I was glad I stayed away from personal information like that in my searches last night.

She frowned. “I’ll be twenty-one in September.”

Shit, she’s young. Most twenty-year-olds are out partying and trying not to fail out of college. “You’re only twenty?” She’s had a very successful career. If she was only twenty… “How old were you when you won this?” I held up her arm, the one with the little Oscar statue.

“Nineteen.”

“Well, shit.”

“What?”

“You, Ms. Swan, are far more impressive than I realized.” She was. She was so young, but obviously talented if she already had an Academy Award to her name. She had to be driven to have worked so much in such a short amount of time.

I pulled her to me and let my lips just brush hers. It was the complete opposite of every other kiss we had shared, but it was no less arousing. Any feel of her skin on mine made me want her, want anything that she was willing to give me.

… _Sick_ …

The next night I sat at the sound booth. I took a whole day off of work, something I hadn’t done in years, and spent the day with Bella. I had no clue what went into putting on shows like this, but the girl barely had time to eat dinner.

I replayed our conversation from right before she went on stage over and over in my head throughout the show.

“ _I don’t want this to just be a weekend thing. Don’t run away from me just yet, okay?”_

I had no clue where the words came from. All I did was ‘weekend things.’ I had never had a serious relationship, I didn’t care to have a woman badgering me about where I was going or who I was seeing.

But Bella… Bella made me lose my mind. It wasn’t like we could have a normal relationship anyway. She was traveling across the country, she knew what her schedule was like. I had no choice but to see where she wanted to take things tonight. I hated not having a choice.

We were in the car, on our way back to the penthouse when she blurted out something about a trial period. “I can’t ask you to put up with my life. But I want to. I’ve never… I just know I would regret it for the rest of my life if we didn’t try.

“I have three weeks of show after show, but I have a week in Los Angeles after that. I have a couple appearances and two shows, but other than that I’m free. If you can make it, you could visit?”

I focused on pulling into the parking garage before I answered. That was already putting in more effort than I typically did with women. But I looked at Bella next to me and I knew she was different. Better. Worth it. “I’ll make it work.”

“Why are you always so willing to drop everything for me?”

_Oh, if only I knew, Bella_. “Because there’s something special about you, Bella Swan. You’re talented and successful but don’t take anything for granted. You’re kind to everyone you meet and spend nearly your whole day trying to make others happy. You’re the complete opposite of me and the people I surround myself with. You’re not the one who shouldn’t be asking me to put up with your life, it’s the other way around.” Jesus, this woman shattered every wall I had ever built around myself.

When we got inside I confessed my past ‘manwhore’ days, as she so eloquently put it. She told me about Jacob Black, another actor she worked with in the past, and how he told her she was clingy and insecure. I had known her less that seventy-two hours and I knew those were words I would never use to describe her.

Then, my father had to call and ruin the night.

“Edward, I need you to take care of Doyle Murphy.”

“What did he do now?”

“He’s had three months to pay us back, and he just repaid Volturi. Take him out, send a message to his son.”

“Have Emmett do it. I’m busy.”

“I don’t care who the girl is, Edward. I didn’t ask Emmett, I asked you. Take care of it.” Carlisle hung up after that. I didn’t know what his issue was lately. He was more hot headed than usual, and was making some really fucking stupid mistakes. He was getting old, and I was itching to take over. I was done taking orders from him.

I went to the kitchen to find where Bella had snuck off to. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m afraid I have to go out for a while, though.”

I could see the disappointment color her features. I felt the exact same way. “Oh, I can just go back to my room.”

“No, stay here, please. I shouldn’t be more than an hour. Get some rest and I’ll be back before you have to leave.”

She had to leave in about three hours. Murphy lived across town, but he would be easy to take out once I got to him. He was probably already passed out in bed. He wasn’t married anymore, so I didn’t have to bother with his wife.

I gave Bella a kiss that I wanted to last forever and left. Thankfully she didn’t ask any questions.

…Sick…

Murphy proved to be more of a hassle than I wanted. He wasn’t peacefully passed out in bed as I suspected. He was drunk and belligerent and pathetically begged for mercy. I may not agree with all of Carlisle’s methods anymore, but Murphy deserved his end. If you borrowed money from the Cullen’s you paid it back in a timely manner. He knew what he was getting into.

He put me in a foul fucking mood, though.

I had to mind my movements as I got home. Bella was sleeping peacefully in my bed, and the sight of her curled up there very nearly erased my anger. When I walked into the ensuite and caught sight of the blood spatters on my shirt, it returned tenfold.

I stripped my clothing off and hid it under the sink. I would burn it once Bella was gone. I showered quickly and made sure there were no remnants of Murphy on my skin before I pulled on a clean pair of boxers.

When I walked back into the bedroom I saw her phone light up on the nightstand. It was some notification with a little blue bird. I ignored it, but I did grab Bella’s hand and pressed her thumb to the touch ID. I quickly found her contacts and added my number into it.

I stood back and looked at the woman across from me. She was gorgeous and kind and pure. She didn’t know who I was, she had no clue about my true life. She knew what I told her last night. To her, I was simply a businessman. I wasn’t someone who left home in the middle of the night to kill a man who owed my father money.

Most women I was with knew, or guessed, who I was. Bella didn’t and it felt so wrong to deceive her. I knew I couldn’t tell her, though. I couldn’t risk her knowing too much.

There was only about half an hour before Bella would have to get up, but I slid into bed beside her. It was like her body instinctively knew I was there and she shifted in bed, lying her head against my chest.

I couldn’t help but let my hands roam along her waist. She was intoxicating. Her scent floated around me and blurred my mind. I moaned as my fingers found the bare skin of her back underneath the t-shirt of mine she was wearing. Then, the most beautiful brown eyes looked up at me, hazy with sleep.

“I should let you sleep,” I mumbled, but still allowed my hands to roam along every inch of her I could get to.

“Sleep is overrated,” she whispered, crashing her lips to mine. I let her take control of the kiss, wanting to see her lose control just a little bit. She hitched a leg over my hip and I couldn’t resist what she was so openly giving.

I trailed my fingers lightly over her hips, coming to rest on the soft skin just below her belly button. “Just tell me if you want me to stop.”

I slid my hand underneath the boxer shorts she was wearing and groaned at the wet heat that was waiting for me. Her lips met mine again in a greedy kiss as I slipped two fingers inside her.

“Fuck,” she groaned out. Her hips met every thrust of my fingers and I couldn’t hold back anymore. I rolled her onto her back, reveling in the soft flutters of her warm walls around my fingers.

I looked down at her. She had her eyes closed and her mouth hung open, soft pants escaping every now and then. Leaning on my elbow beside her, I cupped my free hand around her cheek and said, “You’re so goddamn beautiful.”

I curled my fingers, just slightly, and her body twitched. “Come,” I told her. Her back arched off of the bed, her head thrown back in pleasure, and her pussy gripped my fingers like a vice.

As she came down from her orgasm she trailed a hand down my chest, heading straight for my cock. I grabbed her hand and intertwined her fingers with the ones I had just used to make her come.

“No, tonight is about you,” I told her. The truth was I couldn’t trust myself to do anything more with her and not take things too far. I brought our interlaced fingers up to my lips and sucked on them, one my one. The combination of her juices coating my fingers and the taste of her skin was deadly.

Bella pushed me over, taking me by surprise. She situated herself on my lap, lining up her warm pussy with my aching cock. There were still two layers of clothing between us, but I could still feel the warmth radiating from her. Her alarm chose then to go off, and I reached over blindly, hitting everything until the annoying buzzing stopped.

“Bella –“ her hips lightly swayed over me and all rational thought left my mind. I gripped her hips, holding on to her as she moved over me, but it wasn’t enough. _If she wanted to play this way, we could play._

I flipped her over and thrust into her as hard as I dared. I was already too worked up, and the image of Bella falling apart underneath me again had me coming in my boxers like a teenager.

“I haven’t been reduced to dry-humping a girl since high school,” I mumbled. 

Ten minutes later I was in a fresh pair of boxers and Bella was gone. I was supposed to meet her in three weeks in Los Angeles, but I knew it was a bad idea. It was reckless but I knew I would still go.

No matter the consequences, I had a feeling Bella would be worth them all.


	2. Bad at Love

I had the most magnificent woman in my arms. She leaned her back against my chest and her hands played with the bubbles that surrounded us in the tub. Bella’s hair was up in an intricate knot on top of her head, which left her neck wide open for my wandering lips.

“Most embarrassing moment?” I asked her.

“Oh, tripping at the Oscars. Hands down.” I chuckled against her neck. “Did you know about that already?”

“I may have seen a video. Or two.”

“Damnit. It was the most horrifying moment of my life,” she said with a shake of her head. “Of course, no one will let it die either. I get asked about it all the time.”

I ran my hands along her soft skin under the water; along her thighs, up her sides, everywhere that I could touch. The few hours that we were at dinner with my family were too long to go without having her naked. Now that I’d had her, I couldn’t get enough.

She suggested a bath after our exploits on her couch downstairs. While it had been years since I had even used a bathtub, I was starting to see the perks of them again.

“What’s yours?”

I had gotten too distracted by the soft skin of her shoulder. “Hmm?”

Bella giggled and I swore it made my heart skip a beat. “Your most embarrassing moment.”

“Ah. Well, I was dancing with this woman at a benefit and halfway through she abandoned me.”

“Oh, please. That was _not_ embarrassing.”

“How would you know? You were gone.” I nipped at her shoulder teasingly. Everything was so easy with her. Everything about her drew me in and I was never disappointed with what I found. I was too attached, too committed to her after only knowing her such a short amount of time.

I squeezed my arms a little tighter around her waist and pulled her as close to me as possible because right now, like this, it felt too right to question.

.. _Sick_..

Bella had a blanket fetish. The girl had them stashed around her house so she would never go without the comfort of a good blanket wrapped around her shoulders. The moment we sat down anywhere, a blanket appeared out of thin air and she tucked it around herself. If she was in a sharing mood, she would cover me up, too. It was fucking adorable.

She was sitting with her bare legs across my lap. I had pushed her blanket away so I could trace her skin. I got a glare in return, but it was worth it. Her toes were painted dark blue and when I pulled at them she squealed and tried to squirm away. I had to promise to leave her feet alone to get her to keep her legs in my lap.

“It’s always been an escape for me. I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, so I spent a lot of time getting lost in books. Then acting fell into my lap and I became the characters I was always reading about. Getting lost in a character is a nice way to forget about my problems for a while.”

She took a deep breath before she went on. “About… two years after I started acting I had a… sort of a breakdown. I just lost it; I was stressed and exhausted and alone. I spent six weeks in a mental rehabilitation center.”

I looked over at her, shocked she would share something so obviously personal with me, of all people. Again, I was reminded just how much I was deceiving her. There was nothing I could do, she couldn’t know about my life. The more she knew, the more danger she was in. I had good reasons for not being truthful, but the trust she showed in me made that knot of guilt build in my gut.

I pictured this woman, this strong and talented and brave girl in my arms scared and alone. The thought of her being so worn down that she had to go to a mental rehab center made my fingers itch with the need to break something, preferably something on the people who let her get so run down.

I pulled her into my lap, her legs straddling my waist. Her arms wrapped around my neck but her eyes never met mine. I didn’t know how best to ask what I needed to know without somehow offending her. “But you’re good now, right?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I was depressed and lonely, but I’m better now. I have mood stabilizers that I take every morning. I just, I thought you should know.”

Cue the guilt. “Will you promise me something?” She nodded. “If you ever start to feel like that again, I don’t want you to hold it in until it breaks you. Will you come to me?”

The heaviness of my request is not lost on me but I couldn’t stand the thought of her closing in on herself. I reached a hand up to caress her cheek. She eyed me uncertainly, but her eyes softened and she looked at me with complete love and devotion in her eyes.

I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I was sure my eyes matched hers.

.. _Sick_..

I surrounded myself with the scum of the world on a daily basis. I dealt with drug dealers and owned a strip club or two. It was business; it was my life. I easily immersed myself in the life I was born into. My family distributed drugs, heroin and cocaine mostly, and I had no problem testing the product to make sure it was of good quality. My parents expected me to marry a respectable young woman, likely from another crime family in the city, so I fucked around with them.

The moment I met Isabella Swan my entire world shifted and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Drugs no longer held any appeal to me. The women I once found attractive now seemed repulsive with their fake nails and surgically enhanced bodies.

Bella was pure. She was a ray of sunshine when my entire life had been a thunderstorm. She was unexpected and terrifying, but everything about her felt right. Which is why I couldn’t let anyone know about her.

My parents would loathe her. Esme had her heart set on me marrying Irina or Tanya, both children of Aro Volturi and both equally nauseating. Esme loved them both like her own children already. She was close with Aro’s wife, Sulpicia, and watched the two girls grow up like her own. She just had no clue what they were like when they weren’t around their parents.

Carlisle would see her as a threat. He was right, she was a threat. It was fucking idiotic for me to pursue a relationship with someone as prominent as Bella. But after my time with her in Los Angeles I had no choice. Everything about her drew me in. For the first time in my life, I was completely helpless. I needed her.

_I left Bella blissfully passed out in her bed. She would wake in a few hours when I had to leave, but I wanted to let her sleep as much as she could. I had worn her out, but I didn’t feel the least bit sorry for it. I ended up in her movie room, standing in front of the shelves lined with awards._

_I read about all of her awards that first night when I shamelessly Googled her, but it was shocking to see them in person. I picked each one up and read the plaques carefully. Most of them were for her role in What About Us. I had watched it a few times since a box of movies showed up at my penthouse a few days after Bella left._

_Seeing her name engraved so elegantly on statues that people worked their entire lives to get sent a rush of pride through me. She was exceptional. She was talented. She was revered._

_I should leave Los Angeles and never look back, let her have a prosperous life and career. But I wouldn’t do that. I couldn’t do that now. Not after I had spent more time with her, gotten to know her more._

_She was mine._

Carlisle was starting to get suspicious. I had acted differently since I got back from Los Angeles a week ago. I was more level headed; more focused on my work and less focused on distractions. The only distraction I allowed myself was my phone constantly in my hand.

I had her schedule memorized and I knew exactly when I would be able to reach her. Tonight, for instance, she was in Atlanta and I would be waiting in her hotel room by the time she got back. I just had to endure a meeting with Carlisle before I could leave.

He entered my office, not bothering to knock beforehand, and took a seat across from me. “Have you thought more about it?”

Carlisle had called me back from Los Angeles early because he decided he wanted to work with Volturi and wanted to talk with Emmett, Jasper and I about it. All of us told him it was a senseless move. Volturi couldn’t be trusted, and we knew that. Hell, Aro’s father killed Carlisle’s father.

That was when I decided I could no longer trust my father.

“No. I don’t need to think about it.”

“Edward –“

“Dontai Volturi killed Ronan Cullen. There is nothing to think about, Carlisle. We can’t trust them.”

“Times have changed, Edward.”

“No, they haven’t.”

Carlisle stared at me, his eyes cold and unfeeling. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for him to look at me like that, I had gotten used to it. We didn’t have a typical father-son relationship. He didn’t come to my baseball games or tell me to follow my dreams when I grew up. He ordered me around and told me to do his bidding most of the time, no matter the consequences.

Our dynamic was changing now. He was getting reckless and everyone was noticing. We needed a change in leadership and he was getting worried, as he should be.

I left town an hour later, giving Emmett instructions to keep a close eye on Carlisle. I didn’t need him going behind our backs to make a deal with Volturi. The flight to Atlanta was too long. It gave me too much time to overanalyze the situation with Carlisle and become more frustrated.

Luckily, I was on my way to see a pretty little brunette that I knew would be more than happy to help me work through my frustration. It had only been a week since I saw her in Los Angeles but it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. I was addicted to her; mind, body and soul.

Kate set aside a key for me at the front desk, and I made it to Bella’s room with just a few minutes to spare before she should be back. She had a suite, of course, so I leaned against the counter in the small kitchenette to wait for her.

I heard the _ding_ of a key card being read and smiled as I saw her shadow enter the dark room. “Shit!”

Bella jumped back a bit, and I heard Kate snicker behind her. She slammed the door in her face and turned to look at me. “What are you doing here?” She asked, a smile replacing her momentary panic.

I didn’t have the patience for pleasantries. I had her back against the door and her lips against mine in moments. She moaned and the sound went straight to my cock. I had both of my hands on her ass and lifted her in my arms.

“We can catch up after,” I muttered against her lips. I squeezed the flesh of her ass as I walked her into the bedroom and she let out an adorable little squeak against my lips.

I tossed her on the bed and she stared up at me with wide, trusting eyes. _Don’t trust me, baby. Never trust me._ I tugged at her jeans, pulling them down her legs as fast as I could. There was no hesitation when I buried my head between her legs.

She thrashed against me, moaning as my tongue played with every inch of her pussy. I groaned at the taste I had been craving for seven days. I threw an arm over her waist to keep her still but she still fought against it. I didn’t stop my assault on her sensitive flesh until she screamed out my name and came around my tongue.

I pulled her back in my arms. She was more lethargic now, a little worn out from her first orgasm, but her lips were still just as insistent against mine. I got her in the bathroom and turned the shower on. It was a little difficult considering she wouldn’t stop touching me, but I got it done. I pushed her inside the open door, pleased to see she had discarded her remaining clothes, and she stood there and watched as I discarded my clothes to join her.

She was a vision, standing there under the spray. Her hair looked nearly black and her eyes were bright and excited. She looked every bit the twenty-year-old she was.

I had her back against the cool tile and her breasts in my hands. My lips found my favorite spot on her neck and nibbled on the skin while I teased the peaks of her nipples. Bella couldn’t seem to decide what to do with her hands; she went from gripping my arms to my back, to sliding her fingers along my chest.

My lips trailed up to her ear. “Will you get on your knees for me, baby?”

Her eyes snapped to mine and I saw the excitement in them before she did as I asked. During our two blissful days in Los Angeles I learned that my girl had a thing for sucking my cock. She didn’t hesitate to take me in her mouth the second her knees hit the floor.

I leaned my forearms on the tile behind her and watched as her lips wrapped around me. She bobbed her head along my length and moaned when one of my hands reached down to get her hair out of her face.

“Stop,” I grunted and she let my cock pop out of her mouth. She stood up slowly and I lifted her in my arms again. I knew she would be ready so I didn’t hesitate to line her up with my cock and plunge in.

The warm walls of her pussy clenched around me as I slammed into her. Bella’s hands gripped my shoulders and her head was thrown back against the tile. Her neck was lined up perfectly for my lips to taste her sensitive skin.

“I’ve been thinking about your pussy for a week,” I whispered against her skin. My eyes drifted back up to her and I knew she was gone. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her breath came in sharp pants.

I let my hips grind against hers at just the right angle so I rubbed against her clit and was rewarded with her pussy gripping me as she came. My teeth bit down on her neck and I grunted out my own release.

I held us there for a few minutes, allowing our breathing to slow.

“Hi,” Bella whispered to me. Most would think she looked a mess, her hair matted to her face and some mascara starting to run down her cheeks, but she was gorgeous. She smiled down at me and kissed my nose lightly and God help me, that was the moment I fell in love with Isabella Swan.

Fell in love with the way she was unfathomably kind to everyone she met.

Fell in love with the way she was so driven to be the best at everything she tried.

Fell in love with the way she looked at me for me, not for who my job made me become.

I let her fall from my arms but kept a grip on her waist to make sure she didn’t slip. A small hand touched my cheek. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s just been a rough day,” I admitted. I never complained about my life or my job, I enjoyed it for the most part. But there were days, like today, when I wished I was just a businessman. Someone who deserved to love her and earn her love in return.

“Well, I’m no Northwestern grad but I’m a pretty good problem solver,” Bella told me, soaping up a washcloth and rubbing it along my chest and arms.

I simply looked at her for a moment, unsure of what to say. She was taking care of me, she wanted to help me. _God, I love you._

“Carlisle is being… difficult.”

“Is a lot of your business with your father?”

“Some. We all have our various businesses around the city, sometimes we partner up.”

Bella pushed me onto my knees and started massaging shampoo into my hair. “And… he wants to do something that you think will jeopardize one of the businesses you have together?”

“Yes, something like that.”

“Well, he’s your father. You should be able to talk some sense into him.”

“My father is… the boss when it comes to our business dealings.” I cringed at my own words. The lies slipped off of my tongue before I could stop them. _I’m so sorry, baby._

“He’s still your father. He should at least take your opinion into consideration.”

I sighed and stood to wash her this time. She was silent, seeming to know I needed time to think. When we were both clean and underneath the sheets of her bed, Bella looked at me again.

“I wasn’t very helpful,” she said with a sad smile.

“Yes, you were,” I told her truthfully. I had never been one to talk about my emotions, but she got me to open up to her as much as I could.

“When do you have to leave?” she whispered to me as she curled into my side.

“About the same time you do in the morning.”

Her wet hair was matted against her cheek and my chest and an arm thrown across me. Bella fell asleep within a few minutes, but I never did. I held her hand to my chest and prayed that I would be able to figure out a way to keep her. Keep her with me, keep her safe. Keep her forever.

..Sick..

I tossed the stacks of bills at each person around the table. Five men surrounded me. They were all suppliers of some kind. One guy, James, ran a small security company. He supplied us with extra muscle whenever we needed it. There was another man, Mike, who ran a good ring of drug runners. Seth was here, but he was the cleanest of us all. He was a good detective who needed the cash to support his family. He was a good guy, but he still took our money and hindered a few investigations. Everyone at the table deserved to spend the rest of their lives in prison, myself included.

“What’s going on with Carlisle?” Mike asked.

“None of your fucking business,” I hissed. Carlisle was all over the place these days. One day he was his usual, ruthless self, and the next he was ten times worse. It was exhausting.

I pulled the stacks of cash out of my suit and tossed them at their respective recipients.

“What the hell, man. I’m fifty short,” Mike shouted, thumbing through the bills. The fucker got screwed over when one of his guys ran off with our product. He’s lucky to still be breathing.

“Hire people who won’t run off with fifty thousand dollars of our shit next time.” The ding of the elevator saved Mike from any further scolding. Every head in the room turned around. I expected Emmett or Jasper, possibly Carlisle. I did not expect Bella to walk through the doors.

_Fuck_.

I walked over to her, slower than I would have wanted, but I knew I couldn’t let them men behind me know how important she was.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Bella mumbled, turning back to the elevator.

I tugged her bag off of her shoulder and wrapped a hand around her waist. “What are you doing here?”

“I texted you, I’m sorry. I’ll just go get a room downstairs.”

I tugged her next to me, keeping her hidden behind me as I led her to the stairs. I told the men I would be back and got her as far away from them as possible.

“Who are all those people?” Bella asked me.

I ignored her and got her into my bedroom. I set her bag on the floor and pulled her into me. That was all it took for her to fall apart.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby girl,” I told her, kissing her cheeks, her forehead, anything to calm her down. “Give me twenty minutes to get rid of everyone downstairs and then we can talk. Okay?” I kissed her lips lightly. “It’s going to be okay.”

I left her there, standing in the middle of my room crying. When I returned to my meeting everyone gave me skeptical glances.

“Any more questions?” I asked.

Mike slapped his hand on the table and pointed at the stairs. “That fucking teen movie! That’s where I’ve seen her! Damn, would’ve driven me crazy all night.”

“That’s not a fucking question.”

“You’re fucking an actress, Cullen? We was a pretty little thing.” James piped in, his eyes continually glancing toward the direction of the stairs.

I wanted to break his nose, maybe an arm. Anything. It was revolting, listening to these scum talk about Bella like she was just a piece of ass. But I knew I had to play along. They couldn’t know she was my weak spot.

“She seems like one of those girls that just goes wild in private, ya know?” Mike said.

I smirked at them despite the nearly uncontrollable urge to beat them to a bloody pulp. “You have no idea.”

I got rid of them after that. As soon as the elevator doors shut on them I knocked over the hideous plant Esme had left last time she was here. I needed to break something. If it couldn’t be a bone, I supposed the giant vase was good enough.

Bella wasn’t in my bed as I expected her to be. The bathroom door was closed so I knocked lightly. “Bella?”

She didn’t respond. I walked in and saw her through the glass door of the shower. I opened the door and she was standing there with a razor in her hand and bloody water dripping from it.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I pulled the razor out of her hand carefully and helped her out of the shower. Once she was wrapped in a towel I set her on the counter and wrapped up her hand. She was shaking, but it could have been from anything. Cold, pain, sadness.

I dressed her carefully and situated her in bed. When I got in behind her she told me about her trip to Forks, about her selfish, uncaring mother. I was already on edge, but hearing the things she told Bella made me even more furious.

“You’re one of the most successful women I have ever met. You’re accomplished and talented and I don’t want you to ever think you’re not, do you understand?”

Bella nodded slightly and situated herself even closer to me. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for coming to me.”

“I’m sorry I interrupted.”

I pulled her closer and she rested her head in the crook of my neck. I was sorry she interrupted, too.


	3. Lie

I pounded on her door, needing to wake her if she was asleep. I didn’t have time to call Kate to get a key to her room. I needed to see her, needed to know she was alive.

Bella swung the door open and looked at me like I was crazy. Her voice was scratchy and gruff when she spoke.

“What’s wrong?”

_Everything._

“Who else is out there?”

_People who will take a bullet for you if necessary._

“What’s going on?”

_I’m about to break your heart._

I pushed her back toward the couch and kneeled in front of her. “I need you to listen to everything I say before you ask questions, okay?”

She agreed, but she would still ask questions. She was too curious. I was stalling.

I took a deep breath before saying the words I dreaded ever having to tell her. “You’re in danger.”

Bella gave me the same look I got when I first walked in, the one where I was absolutely insane.

I handed over the photographs that got sent to Carlisle. “These got sent to me.”

I wanted to scream when she shrugged them off. “Edward, there are photos like that of me all over the internet. I get death threats nearly every day. They’re all nothing.”

Running a hand through my hair, I nearly pulled it all out. I needed to tell her the truth, needed her to understand that this wasn’t a _normal_ threat. This was a threat from someone who would follow through. I gripped her knees and let my head fall into her lap. I needed a few more moments of knowing she was mine before I ruined everything.

“I’m fine,” she said over and over.

She wasn’t, though. She would never be fine if she was with me. But I looked up at those big brown eyes and that face that I would do anything for and it broke me.

“I love you. I love the way your nose scrunches up when you don’t like something. I love how passionate you are about your music and your acting. You’re so _fucking_ good. I love the song you wrote for me, I listen to it every day. I love the way you treat every person you meet with kindness and compassion. Fuck, I just love you.”

Bella started to cry, but they were good tears. That would change soon. “I-“

“No, not yet,” I told her, taking her face in my hands and wiping away some of her tears. “I’m sorry, Bella. So fucking sorry.”

“Edward,” I started to interrupt her, but she wouldn’t let me. “No, listen to me. _I love you_. You’re the only thing that gets me through some days. You make me smile and you don’t put up with any of my shit. You make me talk to you when I have a bad day and don’t let me beat myself up over little things. You take care of me in ways I didn’t know I needed.”

“ _Bella_ ,” I dropped my head into her lap again. I shouldn’t enjoy her saying those three words to me. I should hate myself for it because in a few minutes, Bella would hate me for it, too.

She lifted my head from her lap and leaned down to kiss me. Then I was sitting on the couch with her grinding herself on my lap. That was all it took to get my cocks attention.

“Bella, we shouldn’t –“

“I love you,” she whispered to me and it was my undoing. I was going to hell anyway, so I didn’t stop her when she slid the robe off of her shoulders. I gripped her hips and pulled her against me as she repeated herself over and over again.

I didn’t protest as she rid me of my clothing. I could only moan as she slid down on my length, taking me in completely. My head fell back against the couch and my eyes squeezed shut.

Bella rocked herself slowly over me, whispering words of love as she kissed any patch of skin she could reach. Her hands gripped my shoulders and I snapped my eyes to hers. She was stunning, her hair falling around her in waves and her eyes glassed over as she lost herself in pleasure.

I gave in completely and pulled her lips to mine. She started to move faster, but I needed this to last as long as possible. “No, slow.”

I took in everything about her. The way the dim light let me see the faint outlines of her tattoos. The perfect slope of her waist where my hand fit perfectly. The perfect peak of her nipples as they brushed against my chest. The way it felt to have her completely surround me.

I couldn’t hold it off any longer. “Come for me,” I whispered to her, feeling my own release shoot through my body.

She gave me a breathtaking smile, but my face gave away my fears. She just didn’t understand them, not yet.

“Edward, really, I get threats all of the time. The police check them out and they’re usually just from bored kids.”

I shook my head and lifted her off of me. The second I left her warmth I knew it was time to stop procrastinating. I wrapped her robe around her and pulled my clothing back on.

She went to the little kitchen and I took advantage of her absence to get the words out. “They didn’t send those pictures to you, Bella. They sent them to me.”

There was a pause, but then she got the picture. “Well, if we’re out, we’re out. I would’ve liked some more time to have you to myself, but –“

“Bella, the person who sent those pictures isn’t a fan of yours.”

I met her at the little table near the kitchen, sitting across from her.

“I don’t understand. Who else would be interested in us being together?”

Reaching into my discarded suit jacket, I pulled out another picture. “This is Aro Volturi, head of the Italian mafia in Chicago.”

She laughed. She fucking laughed in the face of one of the dirtiest men in the city, hell, maybe the country. “You think the mafia is interested in me? Edward, I’m just an actress. My life isn’t that interesting.”

“Bella, you’re not _listening_!” I shouted. It was a dick move for me to yell at her now, but I needed her to understand.

“I am listening! You’re not saying what you actually mean.”

I took a deep breath. “Aro is the head of the Italian mafia in Chicago, and Carlisle is the head of the Irish mafia in Chicago. I’m his second in command.”

Bella frowned. Her eyes scanned the pictures still on the table in front of her. “Is this some kind of joke? Did Emmett put you up to this or something?”

“Bella, this is all very real. Do you remember the night of your birthday, the group of men you saw in my home?”

“Yes.”

“I was meeting with some… associates, one of which turns out to be a fucking rat. He told Aro about you and me. He’s wanted to stir shit up for years, and he sees this as his chance.”

That was too much information to tell her, but I needed her to understand the severity of the situation. I could see it all over her face as she tried to rationalize what I was saying, tried to find loopholes, tried to defend me. “This isn’t real, Edward. You’re not in the fucking mob.”

“Bella, I _am_ the fucking mob.”

It looked like a shiver of fear wracked through her entire body. She pushed away from the table and backed up until she hit the wall. I could see it all over her face. She was terrified.

“You don’t… you don’t have to be scared of me, Bella.”

“I don’t have to be scared of you? You just told me you were the fucking mob, Edward! What am I supposed to do with that?” She started crying and her next words tore my heart from my chest. “I told you _everything_. From the very beginning I told you everything about me. I told you things that… fuck that no one knows! God, I’m a fucking idiot!”

“You’re not an idiot, Bella, I just couldn’t say anything. The more you know, the more danger you’re in.” _Please understand. Please don’t hate me._

“What do you do?”

“What do I do?”

“I know better than to think the actual mob is like what the movies depict. So, what do you do?” Her voice is still scratchy, she should still be on vocal rest, but the anger is evident in her tone.

“The less you know the better.” I repeated.

“Cut the bullshit. Jesus, do you think I’m gonna go to the cops or something?”

“We deal with weapon and drug trafficking. We have our hands in basically every underground dealing in Chicago, as well as associates in New York and, of course, Ireland.” I admitted. A quick online search would reveal that was what most speculated we did. I knew what question was coming, and I knew I couldn’t lie to her.

“Have you ever killed anyone?”

“Yes.”

All of the color left her face. She stumbled to her feet and barely made it to the toilet before she lost the contents of her stomach. I placed a hand lightly on her back, hoping to soothe her, but she flinched away.

“Don’t touch me.”

_Don’t touch me._

My chest felt hollow as I looked at her; huddled against the wall as far away from me as she could get.

“Why would you do this to me?” she sobbed. “Why would you be so _good_ to me? Why make me fall in love with you if it couldn’t go anywhere?”

 _I don’t know, baby._ “Bella, I –“

“You’re a criminal, I’m sure the police would love nothing more than to lock you up. If we’re together every move you make would be scrutinized by the media, everyone would be looking for who you really are. I just, I don’t understand how… I don’t understand how the man who you are with me can be the same man who would do those kinds of things.”

I was the worst kind of coward and didn’t respond. Nothing I said would make her feel better.

“You could’ve told me so many times. You knew… you knew how Jacob lied to me and you just went and did the same thing. But it’s just so much worse this time because it’s _you_. I thought you were mine. My protector, my lover . . . my best friend.”

“Bella, I _will_ protect you,” I vowed. No matter how much she hated me, I would always make sure she was safe. I knew it was coming, but when she asked me to leave it felt like she was telling me to never come back.

“There will be two men outside of your door. They… work for me. I’d like them to be with you at all times until –“

“No, I have as much security as I need. I don’t need them.”

“Bella, these men know – “

“I don’t want them.”

I nodded, but I would make sure Ben and Eric stayed as close to her as they could. Her safety was not up for negotiation. Bella walked me to the door and I couldn’t resist stroking the soft skin of her cheek one more time. She flinched, but only slightly. “You’re still my girl?”

She pulled away from me and I knew the answer.

When the door slammed behind me, Eric and Ben looked at me expectantly. “Stay with her. If anything happens to her I’ll take both of you out myself.”

.. _Sick_..

I entered my parent’s house knowing I was in for a shitty evening. It was Sunday dinner. My mother liked to have all of the children over at least once a week when our schedules permitted it. Fortunately for her, and unfortunately for me, it worked this week.

When I arrived, everyone was already talking in the living room. I gave my mother a kiss on her cheek and nodded at Carlisle. Things between my family and I were tense. It was only a matter of time before there was a blowout.

“Edward, you never come around anymore,” Esme told me, frowning.

“Well, if Carlisle would stop being an insufferable dick all of the time –“

“Edward! Language!”

I shook my head, eagerly taking the drink handed to me by the newest maid.

The doorbell rang and Esme hopped up to get it. When she returned, Irina was on her arm.

_Fucking hell._

Irina smiled at me and came to sit on the armrest of the chair I was in. I could smell her perfume from here and nearly gagged.

“I thought it might be a good time for you two to catch up,” Esme told us, a perfectly polite smile on her face.

“A good time for you to try to set us up, you mean.”

“Oh, Edward, your mother just invited me for dinner. Nothing more,” Irina said sweetly. The kind of sweet that was too sweet and gave you a nasty cavity later.

“I have a girlfriend,” I said bluntly. She wasn’t currently talking to me, but she was still mine. I was still hers.

_“Who?”_ Irina sneered.

“You wouldn’t know her.”

“Edward, that girl is hardly appropriate. She’s not –“

“She’s not what? Not related to enough criminals for you? She’s… _good_ and kind and passionate. She’s got more talent in her fucking pinky than any of us have.”

“She really is a pretty great girl,” Jasper piped in.

“Yeah, Ma, if you got to know her –“

“She is not appropriate for Edward,” Esme snapped.

My mother was a lovely woman, but she grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth and a skewed view of the world. I couldn’t give a shit about status or standing, but the thought that I would marry someone not part of the Chicago elite would infuriate her.

“I love her.”

“You can learn to love another.”

I downed the rest of my drink quickly and stood, nearly knocking Irina off of her perch. I noticed Alice and Rosalie were suspiciously quiet through the conversation. Alice may like Bella, but she obviously doesn’t care enough to defend her.

“You think she doesn’t have a good enough status to be with me? She sure as hell has a better social standing than Irina ever will.

“Yes, the prominence of her in the media will be… troublesome. But I’ll figure it out.”

“It never fucking works, Edward! Mafia leaders have been with little Hollywood starlets in the past. They always sing when shit goes down, and then we’re paying for your foolishness,” Carlisle grunted.

“That won’t happen.”

“I can’t let you take that risk.”

“Is that a threat?” I asked, taking a step toward my father.

“Only if it needs to be.”

We locked eyes for a moment before I stormed out of the room.

Within an hour I was in the air, on my way to New York. On my way to Bella.

_..Sick.._

She was gorgeous in sparkly little shorts and black tights that made her legs look a mile long. I couldn’t wait to rip them off of her.

Bella was talking to Harry, an old friend of Alice’s. Well, he was talking to her. Bella looked like she would rather a hole open up and swallow her whole.

As I approached, I heard her nearly shout, “Yeah, fuck you, too, buddy.”

I wrapped an arm around her waist and reveled in the warmth of her body. “Is there a problem?”

Harry looked like he was about to shit his pants. “Uh, no. Not at all. I’m sorry.”

I watched as he skittered off, and then turned to Bella. “Come with me.”

I needed privacy for this conversation, and a crowded bar wasn’t ideal. I didn’t want to scare her by taking her away from the people though, so I settled on the women’s restroom.

As I was locking the door behind us, Bella fumbled with her purse at the sink. I grabbed the empty pill bottle from her hand and read the label. Her mood stabilizers. “You only take these in the morning.”

Everything clicked and I threw the bottle into the sink and grabbed her face. I searched her eyes. “Are you fucking _high_?” Her eyes were a little cloudy and a lot sad, but she didn’t give off any worrisome signs.

“No, I’m not fucking high,” she said, pushing my hands away. “I’ve just needed something to make this pit inside me go away! Because I can’t do interview after interview about how happy I am about this movie or the tour when I feel like this!”

“Like what?”

“Like my whole world is falling apart! And the only person I want to talk to about it is you but you’re gone!”

Her legs fell out from under her and she slumped on the floor.

I had watched countless people die and never felt a thing. Seeing this woman falling apart at my feet made my cold heart shatter.

I knelt in front of her. “I’m not gone, Bella. I’m right here.” I grabbed one of her hands and placed it over my heart. “I’m right here.”

“But I shouldn’t want you anymore. I shouldn’t still love you after what I know.”

She looked so confused, so lost, and I didn’t know how to make it all go away. I lifted her in my arms and set her on the counter. It would at least be a little cleaner than the floor. I cleaned her face as best I could, wiping the streaks of tears off of her cheeks.

“You’re right. I’m not a good man, Bella. I’ve killed people. I happily killed the man who outed you to Volturi, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you safe.

“But, you have to understand, Bella, that we’re not just going around causing mayhem. I killed Hunter because he betrayed my family. If protecting what I love means I have to get my hands dirty, then so be it.” _Please understand_.

“Give me tonight. Give me tonight to prove to you that I’m still the man you thought I was.”

“We shouldn’t…”

“You’ve spent years doing what you were told. Your entire life is planned for you. You hate it, I know you do. But tonight, you’re not going to be Bella Swan, Academy Award winning actress. You’re just going to be Bella. My girl.”

I was making progress. Her eyes were getting an excited glint. “What would we do?”

_Bingo_. “Whatever the fuck we want. We’ll get the most expensive hotel suite and trash it. Or we could go to a movie theater and make out in the back if you want. We’ll do whatever _we_ want, not what everyone else wants us to do. What do you say, baby?”

I usually only called her baby when we were naked and writhing against each other. It was a dirty trick, but I wanted her to say yes. Needed it.

“A hotel suite sounds nice,” she whispered.

I pulled her to me and kissed her with everything I had. “Wait in here for five minutes and then come out. I’ll have the car waiting.”

I bypassed several people who tried to stop me as I made my exit. I had no time for useless chatter. I had a girl to win back.

I was finishing up my call with the Four Seasons when she got in the car. We didn’t talk much on our way. There was much to be said, but the car wasn’t the place to have these conversations.

As I slid my credit card over to the concierge for the room, Bella bursted into laughter. I saw her eyes on the statement and couldn’t help but smirk at her.

I nearly took her in the elevator. She was standing there in those sexy little shorts and all I could think about was the delicious flesh I knew was underneath.

“I’m fucking starving,” Bella blurted out as soon as we were inside.

I grabbed the room service menu and sat on the stiff couch. “What would you like?”

Bella sat next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder to look at the book. I pressed my lips to the top of her head, reveling in the feel of her next to me again.

“A big, greasy burger. No, a steak. Oh, maybe – “

I chuckled at her indecisiveness and gave her lips a quick peck. “Fuck, you’re adorable.”

“A burger. With fries. Oh, and a milkshake!”

I instructed her to decide what kind of trouble we were going to get into next as I ordered one of everything off of the menu. I was only out of the room for a few minutes, but when I came back music was playing and Bella was trying to push one of the heavy couches across the room. “What are you trying to do?”

“I’m rearranging the furniture,” she grunted, still fighting with the sofa. “So we can make a fort.”

“You want to make a fort?”

“Yes.”

I looked at her and for the first time I truly saw her for the young, twenty-one-year old girl she was. She was accomplished and self-sufficient so I often overlooked how young she was. But if she wanted to build a fort I would build her the best fort there ever was.

We were both covered in champagne later. Five thousand dollars’ worth of it, but it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was the laughter that escaped her as it exploded all over us.

Bella took a few sips from the bottle and handed it back to me. “Jane and I were never as close as most sisters are. She’s only four years older than me, but we never talked about boys or shared clothes or anything like that. I guess she was always closer to my mom, and I was always closer to dad. I just… I don’t think I ever really fit with them.”

I didn’t know where the sudden honesty came from, but I appreciated it nonetheless. I would never take her trust for granted.

Pulling her into my lap I said, “You fit with me.” She did. Perfectly.

It must have been the right thing to say because her lips were hard against mine and her hips started bucking against me. Bella tore my shirt away and didn’t hesitate to start reacquainting herself with all of my exposed skin. “Say it.”

I was distracted by her nipping teeth. “Say what?”

“That you love me.”

_So much, baby_. “I love you. So much it fucking hurts.”

Bella was frantic then, her hands gripping and scratching any skin they could. I didn’t dare to hope that it meant she thought our love was worth the shit we would have to go through.

Hours later, after our bath where I was grilled for an hour about random facts about myself, Bella sat in the middle of the fort. It was a bit disheveled now; some sheets were falling down and there was clothing strewn everywhere, but it was our perfect spot.

I laid Bella down on the pile of blankets and got distracted by the look of pure satisfaction on her face. I had lost count of how many orgasms I had given her, but the constant pleasure agreed with her. She was stunning.

The night was more than just sex, but it was a nice reward after some of our conversations. Conversations about our jobs, or lives, our problems. We were both exhausted, but my cock was already at half-mast again.

My hands roamed along her legs, enjoying the silky skin. I tugged at her little toes, painted black now, and she giggled. I kissed up one leg, stopping at the sensitive skin right above her pussy. I couldn’t resist placing a few kisses along her lips and clit, teasing the already sensitive and wet flesh.

I kissed my way up her body, lavishing both of her breasts until each nipple was a perfect peak, until each flick of my tongue got a gasp.

I pressed the flat of my tongue into her soft flesh and dragged it from the center of her chest up her neck, crudely licking every inch of her I could reach. I hovered over her, aligning us perfectly, but paused until she opened her eyes. Her eyes met mine and there was no mistaking the love in them now.

With kisses peppered to her cheeks, nose, and chin, I rested my forehead against hers and slid into her wet heat, groaning as her muscles clenched around me.

My thrusts were slow, each one very deliberate, each one speaking for itself.

_I love you._

_I’m sorry._

_I’ll make it work._

“I’ve never…” I whispered to her. “I’ve never made love before. Never like this.”

Nothing had ever been like this. Nothing as pure and meaningful as this moment with Bella.

There wasn’t an inch between us. Her arms clung to me and I fit my arms under her, gripping her shoulders to keep her with me. Our lips were always busy, leaving kisses wherever they could while whispering words of love.

I had never felt so completely, utterly loved in my entire life.

Bella’s orgasm started to build and she gasped as it took over her body. I stilled, letting her ride it out before I started back up with my slow, even thrusts. I needed this moment to last as long as possible. I needed her to understand.

I would never love anyone like I loved Isabella Swan.

When I couldn’t hold my release any longer, and when I felt Bella tense again, I buried my head in her neck. “ _Fuck_ ,” I grunted, biting at her neck as I finally let go.

After a few minutes to catch my breath, I heaved myself off of her and Bella immediately buried herself under my arm. I fell asleep listening to her steady breathing.

_..Sick.._

The fact that my arms were empty roused me. I fell asleep with a beautiful brunette in them, and I wanted to wake up with her in them too. As I became more aware, I heard a familiar voice, one that shouldn’t be here.

Carlisle.

I shot up, grabbing my discarded boxers and the gun I had stashed under some cushions. My instincts told me I would need it.

“Edward has already made mistakes in the last few months that could have left him dead. I love my son, too, Isabella. Which is why, if you don’t leave on your own, I’ll have to take matters into my own hands.”

I got to the small office just in time to see Carlisle pull a glock out and point it at Bella after his thinly veiled threat.

I wasted no time aiming mine directly at him. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?”

I stepped toward Bella and pulled her behind me. I could feel her hands resting on my bare back, shaking just slightly.

“I’m saving you from making a mistake that will affect both of us.”

“This is going too far, Carlisle, and you know it.”

“Where’s your loyalty, Edward?”

“Where’s _your_ loyalty? You come here to threaten the woman I love, and you ask me where my loyalty is? I’m your son, not another associate you can boss around.”

Carlisle looked at me for a minute, then lowered his weapon. I kept mine raised. “Fine. Don’t expect me to fix everything when this implodes.”

I lower my glock as he passes, but don’t relax until the door slams shut.

“Are you okay?”

Bella nodded but I could still see the lingering fear in her eyes. “What are we doing?”

“Don’t worry about whatever he said to you, Bella. It’s –“

“Are you in danger? Is being with me going to put you at risk?” _Yes_. It was a risk I was willing to take.

I hugged her to me. “I’m fine, baby. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Is being with me going to put you in more danger that you were before?” she repeated.

“There have been some rumblings that people are skeptical about our relationship. It’s nothing you have to worry about.”

“But I _do_ worry. I can’t – I can’t be the reason you end up dead.”

“Everything will work out. Right now, your safety is the priority. After things calm down we can figure out how to make this work. Permanently. We just need time, Bella.” _Don’t start doubting us now. Never doubt us._

“Time isn’t going to change much, Edward.”

Before I could respond her phone started ringing. She rushed out to silence her alarm and I made a stop in the bathroom before following her. She was rummaging through the blankets, looking for some salvageable clothing.

I handed her my button down from last night and her shorts. “Wear this.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll have someone bring me some clothes.” 

Once she was dressed Bella threw her arms around me. I wrapped mine around her just as tight. “Forget everything he said, Bella. It’s just you and me, remember? Hold on to that and hold on to last night. I’ll see you in four weeks, okay?”

_Don’t give up on us._

_Don’t give up on me._

She agreed, but there was still something wrong. The hug was too tight, too emotional. It felt like a hug goodbye.


	4. Garden

_He said, “Darling, who you praying to? Was anybody answering you? Because I’ve done my part for twelve years now and I can’t seem to get through.” He said, I really don’t care if you cut your hair and I really wouldn’t mind if we don’t go anywhere ‘cause I’ve got you, yeah, I’ve got you now. I’ve got you. ~ Halsey, Garden_

_..Sick.._

Tears glistened in her eyes. I wanted to comfort her, wanted to tell her everything would be all right. I couldn’t touch her though, I didn’t know where she was still in pain.

“You don’t _understand_ ,” Bella whispered through the tears.

“Then help me understand, Bella,” I begged.

She wiped away her tears and sniffled. She looked so lost and scared. _Fuck, what I would do to make all of that go away._

“Edward, I – I was pregnant.”

_Pregnant._

_With child._

_My child._

It certainly wasn’t planned. I had always wanted to put off children as long as possible. I was never overly excited about having a snot-nosed kid running around, distracting me from other things. But if this was the biggest issue weighing on Bella’s mind, it was manageable.

I gave her what I hoped was a comforting smile.

“I _was_ pregnant. I – I didn’t know. After the, um, shooting the doctor told me there was just too much trauma to my body. I lost it during the surgery.”

_Was._ My face dropped, picturing Bella lying on a hospital bed while a doctor tells her she lost a child, imagining her going through that all alone.

I tried to reach for her, but she stopped me. “Wait. I have to get it all out, okay?” I nodded. “There was a lot of damage to my abdomen I guess, and there were some complications during surgery. I, uh, I won’t be able to have children. Ever.”

I stared at her for a moment, unable to form a coherent thought. My head dropped into her lap and all I could do was apologize, over and over.

For loving her too much to let her go.

For being the reason she was targeted.

For leaving her to deal with this on her own.

Bella’s hands ran through my hair, but I didn’t deserve the comfort. I should be comforting her.

I got to my feet and pulled Bella with me, as carefully as I could. I cupped her cheek, noting that her cheekbones were sticking out a bit more than usual. She had dark circles under her eyes and her entire body seemed ready to collapse.

“You’re tired.”

Bella nodded and let me lead her to bed. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep, it looked like she hadn’t slept in days.

I watched her sleep for hours. A list started forming in my mind of all the horrible things that had happened to her since she had the unfortunate fate of sitting at our table that night. _Collapsed from exhaustion after she found out about who I really was. Forced to deal with my life of crime. Nearly assassinated. Lost a child. The possibility of her own biological children ripped away from her._

I should have left her a long time ago. I should have headed Carlisle’s warning and given her up.

My list of reasons to stay was shorter than my first, but much more meaningful. _I love her._

.. _Sick_..

“Hey, sleepy,” I whispered to Bella as she started to stir. She looked at me with her wide doe eyes, seemingly shocked to see me here.

“You’re…still here.”

“Of course. I meant everything I said, Bella. We’re going to figure this out.”

“I don’t know much about your… job. But isn’t lineage kind of important to you?”

It was. Incredibly important. But there had been instances of bosses who couldn’t conceive. Emmett could just as easily provide the heir, even though he would never be the boss. That was for me.

“It doesn’t matter.” I shrugged. Bella looked adorably confused. I leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

“It should. I can’t – “

“I know. And you’ll never know how sorry I am for everything that has happened to you in the last month. The pain you’re in from the shooting… the consequences you have to suffer because of it. Abandoning you during that time is unforgivable.”

I would spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it, but it would never be enough. The image of her submerged in that tub would haunt me every day.

“But give me time, give us time. We can go away while you recover and solidify our relationship, solidify us, before we have to face the real world.”

“Time isn’t going to change a lot of our issues, Edward.”

“Time will change our outlook on our issues, though.”

She was coming around, a small smile forming on her lips. “What are we going to do?”

“Whatever you want. We can have our _crazy night out in New York City_ over and over again,” I joked. It got her to laugh and it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

“You’ll really go away with me?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Bella! Where are you?” Kate’s voice shouted from somewhere within the house.

“You need to keep your door locked,” I grumbled.

Bella wandered into the bathroom and I saw her fumbling with a sling.

“Need help?”

“Yes, please.”

I got the sling from her and frowned at how complicated it was. How was she ever able to put this on alone?

Once we finally had it situated, I looked down at her. She already looked better than she did last night. The dark circles under her eyes were lighter, and her eyes didn’t hold as much sadness.

“Can I kiss you?” I asked her, needing it more than anything.

“Please,” she sighed.

It was a soft kiss, but the meaning behind it was explosive.

We could do this.

We could survive anything. I would make sure of it.

.. _Sick_..

I parked the car, but Bella was still fast asleep in the passenger seat. I got out of the car and instructed the two men waiting for us to grab her bags from the trunk. Once I had her door open I kneeled next to her.

“Time to wake up, beautiful.”

“Mmmm, too tired.”

“You’ll be more comfortable in bed. Come on,” I grabbed her hand and carefully pulled her out of the car. She leaned most of her weight on me, but I didn’t mind.

“I haven’t been here in a while,” Bella mumbled, looking at the elevator. I brought her hand up, brushing my lips along her knuckles.

“Edward, you made it!”

Fuck. The scent of my mother’s beef stew wafted around us, and a second later she was right in our faces.

It was Christmas day, but I was pretty sure Bella had no idea. Esme called me one night and asked me if I would be back in town for Christmas. I told her I was getting in late and for them to have our annual family dinner without me. Apparently, she took that to mean she should invade my home and ambush me.

I never mentioned Bella on the call, or the fact that she would be with me.

Esme halted for a moment, seeing Bella next to me. She would never be outright rude to her though, she was nothing if not proper. “Oh, Isabella, it is so nice to see you again. I’m Esme, Edward’s mother. I didn’t know you’d be here.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. _Fake, fake, fake_.

Esme held her hand out to shake Bella’s, and part of me thought it was on purpose, rubbing Bella’s injury in her face. “ _Mother_.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, dear. Come, come, everyone is already sitting down.” Esme rushed back to the kitchen.

“What’s going on?” Bella asked me in a whisper.

“I told them not to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Christmas dinner. They usually have it at my parents.”

“Christmas – it’s Christmas?”

I smiled at her adorable confusion. “You can head upstairs, I’ll just tell them you were tired after the trip,” I told her. I didn’t want her near my family, Carlisle especially. Emmett and Jasper knew we were leaving. They probably told Alice and Rosalie, but I still had to have the conversation with Carlisle.

“No, it’s okay. Let’s go.”

Bella was truly polite, too polite for her own good sometimes. She wasn’t the kind of polite my mother and sister pretended to be. She never wanted to hurt someone’s feelings.

I sat at the head of the table and Bella took a seat next to me. Thankfully Carlisle was on the other side of the long table, as far away as possible from Bella.

“Nice of you to join us, Edward,” Carlisle said, the anger evident in his voice.

“Don’t start, Carlisle,” I told him. I hadn’t seen him since he had a gun pointed at Bella. The dinner table was not the time for the conversation I needed to have with him.

“Edward and Isabella made it Carlisle, now let’s just enjoy a nice Christmas dinner,” Esme said, fake happiness in her voice.

Dinner flowed with Alice and Rosalie monopolizing the conversation about a charity event they were planning. Always with the fucking events. No one asked Bella how she was, no one congratulated her for the various nominations I’m sure they know about.

When dinner was over I asked Carlisle to meet me in my office. I asked Emmett to keep an eye on Bella.

I sat at my desk and Carlisle stood opposite of me.

“I’m leaving.”

I had seen my father mad in the past, I had seen him so furious he would kill a man without a second thought, but I had never seen fury like this. Never had so much rage been directed at me.

“For a while, maybe six months,” I continued, provoking him.

Carlisle Cullen was a good leader of our family, but he had changed. He was no longer the man he once was. He wasn’t the best.

I was.

But I had a girl to take care of before I could take over.

“I’ll have internet access, I’ll still be able to take care of some things.”

I took great pleasure in the obvious pain this was causing him.

I had done whatever he told me my entire life. It suited me then, he was training me. But I didn’t need training anymore.

“I’ll give control to Emmett,” Carlisle sneered at me.

“Emmett could last for a few years maybe, but we both know he’s not fit for the long term.”

“This girl has – “

I slammed my fists into the desk. “This _girl_ has made me realize my potential. I don’t need you anymore, Carlisle. Don’t make me take matters into my own hands when I get back.”

I could overthrow him. Easily. I had Emmett and Jasper on my side.

I stood, having said all I needed to. I left him in my office and heard the door slam moments after I left.

Carlisle rushed past me down the stairs, the tension evident. Esme followed him to the elevator.

“Think about what you’re doing, Edward,” he said as the doors closed.

I already had.

“Everyone else needs to leave,” I told the rest of my remaining family.

Once they were all gone, Bella came over and grabbed my hand. “Are you okay?”

“I will be in two weeks.”

.. _Sick_..

“Why aren’t we meeting at your place like usual?” Mike bane-of-my-existence-Newton asked as he sat in a chair in my office at one of the seedy strip clubs I owned downtown.

I used to frequent this establish much more, but I hadn’t been here in months. Just walking through the building to get to my office made me uncomfortable when I knew Bella was asleep in my bed at home.

Around me was the same group of men from the night Bella dropped in, minus James of course. _Fucker_.

“Since when are you so fucking nosey?” I grunted at Mike. “You’ll be dealing with Jasper for the foreseeable future. If you have any issues, contact him. Not me.”

“Where are you going?”

“Away. Any more idiotic questions, Newton?”

I tossed the cash at them and waited for them to leave.

“You still with that girl, the one that was shot?”

Three seconds later I had Mike against the wall with an arm crushing his neck and the barrel of a gun pressed into his gut.

“No more questions about my girl, do you understand?”

“ _Fuck_ , yeah, man. No more questions.”

Everyone scattered then.

When I got home at nearly two in the morning, Bella was already asleep. She seemed peaceful, thankfully. More often than not she had a nightmare and woke up in tears.

I sat on the bed next to her and ran a hand through her hair, a little shocked when my fingers didn’t trail along inches of soft locks. _She cut it._

It fell just at her shoulders now. The short hair made her look older somehow, even though she was asleep. I took a quick shower, getting the stench of the strip club off of my skin before climbing in bed next to Bella.

We just had a week left in Chicago. I was in the process of training staff to do more than they already did, getting Emmett caught up on what he needed to handle most of my business affairs, legal and illegal, and turning over ownership to a few of my smaller businesses to Jasper.

The most time I ever spent with Bella was at night when we were sleeping. I had a lot of shit to get done before we left, but the thought of uninterrupted months with Bella made the work worth it.

..Sick..

“I could get used to this whole private plane thing,” Bella said as we walked up the steps to board.

“You’re welcome to use it any time,” I told her with a smirk.

Bella looked adorable. She was dressed for our long flight in grey sweatpants and a black tank top. I watched as she meticulously packed things to entertain herself; books, movies, blankets, everything had to be accounted for before she could leave.

“How much does one of these go for? Maybe I need my own.”

“Why would you need your own when you can use mine?”

“I have my own money, Edward. You don’t need to buy me everything.”

We got ourselves situated in the plush leather seats.

“I like taking care of you, Bella. Money isn’t an issue.”

“I could buy a plane if I wanted to,” she grumbled.

“I know you could.”

“I won’t, though.” She sighed and leaned back in her seat as we began to take off. “I’m sorry I’m so grumpy all of the time.”

“You have a lot of anger to deal with, I understand. I deserve it.”

“I’m doing better, I think. I still talk to Zafrina every day on the phone.”

In the weeks that followed my return to Bella, things had been very hot and cold. She could be talking with me and laughing one minute, and then giving me the cold shoulder next.

Her therapist, Zafrina, told me it would go on for a while, until she worked through everything that happened. I didn’t mind. I had time.


	5. End Game

_I got a reputation, girl that don’t precede me. I’m one call away whenever you need me. I’m in a G5, yeah, come to the A-side, yeah. I got a bad boy persona, that’s what they like. You love it, I love it too ‘cause you my type. You hold me down and I protect you with my life. ~ Taylor Swift (feat. Future and Ed Sheeran), End Game_

_..Sick.._

We had only been out of the country for a few weeks before we were back again, in Los Angeles this time. Bella had snagged herself three Academy Award nominations, so we came back for the ceremony.

She had been adorably focused since we got back. She was in rehearsals for her performance nearly twelve hours a day and usually collapsed in bed when she got back. I had seen her on tour, and I had seen her movies, but I was just starting to realize what a fucking rockstar she was. The ultimate threat. In Hollywood, that is.

It was hard to stay away from entertainment industry news in this town, weeks before their biggest night. Everyone was talking about Bella; what was she wearing, who was she bringing, would she be able to perform, would she win?

It was a whole other world here.

Bella was still asleep when I woke up, so I took advantage of it. She was on her stomach next to me, her back gloriously bare. I rubbed her back lightly, reveling in the feel of her silky skin under me. It was the kiss to her shoulder that finally woke her.

“Good morning.” I smiled at her.

Bella looked up at me and smiled, but I could see the wheels turning in her head. “That’s too much thinking for this early in the morning.”

She looked over at the clock and jumped out of bed. “Shit, I have to get up.”

I gave her a minute of privacy before I joined her in the bathroom as she got ready.

“Last day of rehearsal, right?”

I wanted nothing more than to see what she was up to, but I had been banished from her rehearsals. She had muttered something about eyes and dirty things before I relented. It had been a long time since I had gotten to do dirty things to her.

“Austin, Alison, and their parents are coming over for dinner tonight.”

Bella had told me all about her friends. Austin was in her film, but she was friends with Alison first. Alison was another one of Hollywood’s elite as Bella put it. They were her second family.

“I can work upstairs –“

Bella frowned. “No, I want you to meet them. I don’t mean to… I don’t like hiding you away. I just like having you to myself.”

A lot of our relationship had been about hiding. I didn’t mind, I needed it too. There would be a shit storm when everyone found out I had a weak spot, a weak spot whose whereabouts were constantly known, who was always out in public.

_Fuck_.

“I know. We’ll have to come clean eventually, but this isn’t the time.” I pulled Bella into me. It was supposed to be a supportive hug, but I ended up with my hands on her delicious ass, kneading the pliant flesh. I attached my lips to her neck, sucking on the spot I knew would give me a moan.

“I have to go.”

I pulled her against my cock. “We haven’t had sex in seven days.”

After she had been cleared from the doctor, I made it my mission to make up for lost time. Ever since we got to Los Angeles things had… slowed down.

“I know. I’m just busy and stressed and – “

I gave her a quick peck and a smile. “You’re like a boxer before a big match.”

I wanted her, there was no denying that. My girl was fucking gorgeous and nothing compared to having no barriers between us, to having her screaming my name. But this time in Los Angeles had given me a look at another side of her. The professional Isabella Swan that had the world wrapped around her finger. The girl who worked her ass off to be the best she could be, but also the one who knew she _was_ the best. Her confidence, even slight cockiness, was damn sexy.

I would wait for her big match to be over and be there for the celebration at the end.

.. _Sick_..

I woke up in an empty bed, but found Bella sitting in the living room, her first Oscar on the table in front of her. I sat next to her and put an arm around her shoulder.

“I want to win,” she blurted out.

I smirked, because I knew she did. She didn’t have to tell me, I could see it all over her face.

“I know it’s egotistical to think I deserve another. I should be happy with one. I’m young, I have time to make more movies and get more awards. But I want one for _this_ movie.”

“This one is all you. You wrote most of it yourself. You made the music. It’s your story. You can’t tell Emmett or Jasper, but I’ve spent some time searching the internet about tonight. Your name has come up quite a bit as a leader in who will win.”

It was all speculation, of course, but I was damn proud every time I read her name.

“No matter what, you put out an incredible film. You should be proud.”

I got a small smile for that. “And you’ll be there to make me feel better after I lose?”

“Win or lose, I’ll always be there.”

I thought her routine to get ready for her shows was over the top. She spent a lot of time in a makeup chair before her shows, but she didn’t need any of it. Today though, she had spent close to six hours getting ready. I put in nearly a full days work while she was papered and plucked. I could hear her grumbling about it from upstairs.

I tried to get her to eat in the afternoon, but I was quickly shooed away. I had to calm my inner instinct to yell at the people around me, not used to having others tell me what to do. This was Bella’s territory though, not mine. I could play the role of a normal boyfriend for a few hours.

A woman tried to help me get into my tuxedo, but I quickly shut that down. I had been in my fair share of tuxedos.

The clock was ticking and Bella had to leave within a few minutes. I found her in her room. I thought she was naked when I first saw her, but as I got closer I saw the nude-colored sequins and beading covering nearly every inch of her.

“You’re… breathtaking,” I said. I grabbed her hand and held it up to make her twirl for me. My eyes lingered on the delicate curve of her hips, every gorgeous inch of her.

“You do seem to be missing something, though.” I pulled out the black box from my pocket.

“You didn’t have to…” she started, but her words broke off as she saw the diamond earrings in the box. I had Kate pick them out. I didn’t know what her dress looked like but I wanted to give her something she would be able to wear tonight. Something that would have me with her when I couldn’t be.

I pushed her hair away from her neck to get a look at them once she had them in place. “Beautiful.”

I wanted to kiss her but I had been told by no less than five different people that I could do nothing to her face. No touches, no kisses, nothing. Again, I had to push down my instinct to fight against them.

“I know I won’t have much time to see you once we leave, so I’m going to tell you this now.” Bella nodded. “I love you. I’ll love you if you win tonight, and if you don’t. I’ll love you if you trip on the red carpet and if you forget the words on stage. But, no matter what, I’m so goddamn proud of you. You’re standing here even though I know you’re terrified to go out there. You’re the strongest woman I have ever known.”

Being with Bella had turned me into a bit of a pussy, but only around her. I could only be soft and kind and patient with her. I dreaded the day she saw my true self, the one I had to hide away when she was around.

Bella squeezed her eyes shut and rolled her neck, something I realized she did when she was trying to get a hold of her emotions. “You couldn’t have said all of that before I got my makeup done?”

I rode down to the theater with Heidi and Claire, both of whom eyed me skeptically. It was their job to know everything about Bella, and I figured they had probably done their research on me. While the rumors in Hollywood were mostly fake, the rumors of Chicago were mostly true.

Eric and Ben were on either side of me as we waited for Bella’s car to arrive. Countless others had already arrived. By the sound of the screams I figured they were big names, but I had no clue who they were.

It was pretty fucking stupid of me to be here. The possibility of exposing my relationship with Bella aside, I was constantly watched by the feds. They always had an open investigation into something pertaining to myself or my family, and this would put them on high alert.

Infiltrating Hollywood with dirty money had been tried many times. The people who usually got caught up in it, the greedy actors or directors, usually chickened out at the last minute and ratted out the poor idiot who tried in the first place.

It was a gold mine, though. Easy way to clean money to put it back in the bank. Plans started forming in my mind, but I couldn’t ask Bella to be part of it. She would be a brilliant asset, but I couldn’t get her involved.

Claire and Heidi were at attention and I recognized the plates on the car pulling up. I nodded at the men beside me and they flanked the car. I wasn’t taking any risks tonight. The man who attacked her was gone, I had made sure of that, but I still had big enemies out there.

As soon as Bella was out of the car I could see the shift in her. She was poised and professional. She smiled at the fans around her and gave them a wave. She was confident as hell.

Heidi led the way through the crowd. I put a hand on Bella’s back, high enough for it to look as though I was just leading her. To anyone else it would look as though I was a friend, but I felt the heat radiating off of her body and it made very unfriendly thoughts run through my mind.

We bypassed lines of people waiting to get their picture taken. People called Bella’s name from every direction, but we kept her moving. Once at the other side, things were calmer. There was a simple backdrop and Heidi positioned Bella perfectly before flashes erupted.

I stood on the other side, astounded that this was her life. Bella stood there, poised and graceful, while hundreds of men and women shouted at her to look at them, smile at them.

The second I met her my life turned into a damn movie. It was worth it though, she was worth it.

I gave Bella a quick wink as Heidi pulled me away. I was being stashed in her dressing room for the night, but I didn’t mind. I wanted, needed, to be here for her.

There was a television in her dressing room with the broadcast showing. Ellen DeGeneres is hosting, I had heard of her.

“Bella Swan made it tonight, and I think I speak on behalf of everyone in this room when I say we’re happy to have you here and safe, even though you’ve beaten most of them out for one award or another in the past.” _Damn right, she had._

Then, we waited. I didn’t have any interest in most of this show, didn’t care one way or another who won. The camera panned to Bella repeatedly, so at least there was something to enjoy about the show.

Kate went to get her to change for her performance and my nerves for her picked up again. She had told me how anxious she was about this part, but she had practiced for weeks. I hated not being able to protect her from the wolves if she made the smallest mistake up there.

I stayed in the corner out of the way when Bella came in. She brought madness with her. I growled lightly under my breath as she was stripped from her dress, despite the crowd of people in the room. Most were women, and the few men were very obviously gay, but still. That body was mine.

Bella didn’t have time to talk to me, but I didn’t expect it. I didn’t need her to worry about me tonight. She gave me a look of terror and excitement before she left. I gave her a quick nod. _You can do this._

Fuck, did she do it. Her performance was simple, but she didn’t need a big production. The song spoke for itself. Her voice sounded stronger. Maybe from the rehearsals or maybe the tour really did take a big toll on her voice. Whatever it was, I was thankful for it. She let out the sexiest growl as she sang toward the end and I had to adjust my cock in my now-tight slacks.

Bella was back surprisingly fast once she disappeared from the television. I ignored the people around me talking to her and cheering for her. I rushed her when she was in the room and had her in my arms.

“You were amazing. That _growl_ …”

“We’ve got to get you changed. There’s about twenty minutes until they announce Original Song,” Kate said.

I let her go and she was surrounded and stripped again.

When she was back in her seat I felt the anxiety return. She wanted this so fucking bad. It was the one thing, the absolute one thing in the world, that I couldn’t give her. No amount of money I had would be able to buy her this. Even if it could, she’d want to earn it herself.

They started reading the nominees and my hands were shaking. My hands never shook. I clasped my hands, leaning on my knees, and waited.

“And the Oscar goes to… _Control_ , Isabella Swan.”

My head fell down and the tension left my body immediately. _She fucking did it_.

I looked back at the screen and saw as Austin hugged her and another man ran up to help her walk up the stairs. I thought back to her first win and the videos of her tripping up the stairs. _Only Bella would trip on the biggest night of her life_.

The presenter handed her that gold statue and the image of her standing there, award in hand and face-splitting smile on her face would be ingrained in my mind forever.

“Oh, wow. I just – I put everything on the line to make this movie and album happen. Literally every single person told me not to do it. But I did it anyway, and it might’ve been stupid at the time, but it was so worth it. Um, Alison and Peter, you taught me everything I know about music and writing songs. I couldn’t have done this without you. There are a million other people to thank, and I know I’ll forget someone if I try to list them all. Just… thank you.”

She was ushered off stage then and didn’t return to her seat for a while. Heidi and Claire vanished, telling me they were meeting her in the press room. Whatever the fuck that was.

Kate sat next to me and looked just as nervous and me. “She’s got this,” she said, nodding to herself.

When a man walked on stage with another one of those big envelopes my nerves returned. _Bella is going to make me go grey before I hit thirty._

“And the Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role goes to… Isabella Swan, _Welcome to the Badlands_.”

“Fuck,” I murmured. “ _Fuck_.”

Austin helped her up the stairs this time. It seemed no one was taking a risk with her tripping again.

“Oh, my God.” Her hands gripped her second statue of the night, so tight I could tell her knuckles were white, even on the television. “This is… I just…. _Wow_.” Every single person in the theater was now standing and applauding. “I’ve had the honor to work with and learn from some amazing people. And I know I wouldn’t be here without their guidance and friendship.” She paused for a second, but then continued. “You’ve been with me through the darkest moments of my life,” Bella said, a sob forming in her throat. She was talking to me. “And you know who you are and I love you. _Thank you_.”

_Fuck_. I wanted her here, in my arms. I had no clue when I would get to see her again.

She lost Best Picture, but I could see a look of fierce determination on her face. She wasn’t disappointed, she was inspired. _That’s my girl._

I waited back at a hotel suite with Heidi and Claire for about three hours before Bella arrived. They told me she would be stuck there with press for a while, so I begrudgingly agreed to leave with them.

Our eyes locked as she entered the room, an award in each hand. Thankfully she thrust them at Kate as I stalked toward her. I had her in my arms, finally. “I’m so fucking proud of you,” I whispered to her, kissing her despite the instructions I was given earlier.

I had to let her go then. I was scolded by two makeup artists, but I didn’t care.

An hour later we were in a car together, on our way to an after party. An important one, or so I’m told. We’ve been given ‘permission’ from Claire to go together, because once we were inside there were no cameras allowed. Bella was getting dropped off at the front, and I would meet her inside.

The car stopped. “Come with me,” Bella said.

I chuckled at her eagerness. “I’ll meet you inside.”

“No, come with me, now. This is probably the biggest night of my career. I don’t want to meet you in the corner of the party. I want you by my side.” She held out one of her shiny trophies. My thumb traced over her name, elegantly engraved on a plaque. “You hold one, I’ll hold one.”

“Bella, there’s a line of photographers –“

“I know. I don’t care.”

I shouldn’t. Not just for her, but for myself. I wouldn’t be easily recognized by anyone from here, but once a picture got to Chicago the entire crime world would know Bella Swan was my one weakness.

She looked so happy, though. So eager to start celebrating her big night together.

_Fuck it._

I lifted her over my lap so I got out of the car first. I had the door open and held a hand inside the car for her. I saw Claire’s eyes nearly bug out of her head.

I wrapped my free arm around Bella’s waist, and held the award in my other. Heidi and Claire positioned Bella and I in front of a stand of photographers. Their shouts started before Heidi was done straightening Bella’s dress.

“Congratulations, Bella!”

“Bella, new boyfriend?”

I looked down at her with a smile, and she looked up at me with a matching one. I hadn’t seen her smile this much in months.

We didn’t stay in front of the cameras long, thankfully, because they were fucking annoying.

It was a surprisingly normal party, considering the guests. Large, open area, seats scattered, music blaring, and drinks flowing. It took us about an hour to be able to get to a couch because every step we took there was someone waiting to talk to Bella. She introduced me as her friend, which made me laugh.

I left her on a couch because I knew her feet were killing her. When I returned with two drinks she was surrounded, yet again.

The night was surprisingly pleasant. Everyone that walked by wanted to talk with Bella. A few hours in things had calmed down somewhat, and we were surrounded by a group of her friends from the _Tainted_ movies that got her start in acting.

They all seemed like genuinely good and kind people. Bella fit with them perfectly. I, however, did not.

I was happy to watch her talk with her friends, and Bella seemed so genuinely happy. It was heartwarming after all of the shit she had been through the last few months.

“So, Edward? What kind of business are you in?” one of the guys, Ryan I think his name was, asked me.

“A lot of things. I have some restaurants around Chicago, residential buildings, that kind of thing.”

“Cool, man. Kudos to you for being able to put up with that girl all the time. She’s a handful,” he joked as Bella plopped herself in my lap.

She was getting north of tipsy and very nearly drunk. She was an adorable drunk though, and a handsy drunk. “I am not!”

“You gave me a concussion!”

“You dared me that I couldn’t kick over your head!”

“And you couldn’t! Hence the concussion.”

I shook my head, imagining Bella trying to kick over the head of someone at least six feet tall.

“You shouldn’t have dared me if you didn’t want me to try,” she grumbled.

Ryan got called in another direction and it was just Bella and I, at least for now.

“Are you having a good time?” she asked me, her lips tugging at my earlobe.

“Yes. You’re very popular, I had no idea,” I whispered to her despite the distraction of her nibbling teeth.

“Most people are only over here because we have two of those little statues at our table,” Bella shrugged.

I shook my head. “You haven’t seen the hundreds of glares I get every time you touch me, or I touch you. You’re very wanted by nearly every man, and a few women, in this room.”

“That’s an exaggeration.” Bella giggled.

I ran my hand along her thigh, wishing she was wearing a shorter dress. “They all have to imagine what you look like when you come, but only I get the real visual,” I whispered to her, turning the tables and nibbling on her diamond covered ear.

Her eyes snapped to mine and her blush creeped through her makeup.

“Later, my love,” I told her, kissing her cheek.

We migrated to a standing table a while later. Bella left me in charge of her awards while she searched for a bathroom.

“Hello.”

I turned around and saw a blond, nearly as tall as me, approach. She was in a dress that left very little to the imagination. Her arms were like twigs, and her collar bones stuck out at unhealthy angles.

“Would you like to join my friends and I?” she asked, gesturing to a group of similarly malnourished women. Her voice was obviously attempting to be alluring, but it was a poor attempt.

“No,” I said bluntly. If this were any other woman, if we were in any other environment, I would have had her in tears already. I had to keep my temper in check here.

She leaned on the table next to me, a pen in her hand, and wrote something on a spare napkin. I looked down and saw her phone number.

“Giselle,” Bella greeted as she appeared next to me. Her arm wrapped around mine.

“Ah, Isabella. Congratulations,” the woman, Giselle, said even though her tone was nowhere near congratulatory.

“Thank you. What were you two talking about?”

Bella was furious, I could tell by the sting of her nails as they dug into my arm. She wasn’t mad at me, at least I hoped not. It seemed most of her anger was directed toward Giselle. She was also drunk, so that could make for an interesting conversation.

“I was just asking your friend here if he wanted to come out with me and my girls next. I assumed you were off to do some more press.”

She was, but that didn’t mean I had an interest in staying out without her.

“He’s not,” Bella said candidly. She grabbed the napkin with her phone number and dropped it in a full glass on the table.

I shook my head at her antics, and the blond walked away fuming. Before I could tell Bella anything her lips were hard and insistent against mine. With the heels she was wearing we were closer to the same height, so it was easy for her to surprise me.

I wrapped an arm around her waist and fisted some of her hair in my hand. _God, her taste._

I chuckled when she finally pulled away. “Am I sufficiently marked?”

She shook her head and kissed me again.

.. _Sick_..

“The performance was really okay?” Bella asked me as I ran a soaped up wash cloth over her back.

She had gotten home from all of her press at nearly four the next afternoon. She was exhausted, rightfully so, and slept for nearly twelve hours. She fell asleep in her clothes and makeup from her long night, and longer afternoon. I stripped her of her clothing to get her more comfortable, but that was all I could do until she woke up.

Now, I had her in the shower, and she seemed to think it was time for twenty questions.

“It was amazing, Bella. You really don’t remember it?”

Bella turned to face me, letting her hands rest on my chest. “No, I think I blacked out.”

Flashes of her last night invaded my mind; her standing on that stage winning, twice, and getting a standing ovation, her powerful performance, the sense of… superiority she had as she walked into the after party.

My fingers dug into her hips at the memory of the men ogling her.

“God, you were glorious last night, Bella.” I had gotten to see a new side of Bella last night and realized a few things because of it. One, she had a very prominent presence. She could walk into a room and every goddamn eye was on her if she wanted it. She held her head high and she knew she was at the top of the food chain, so to speak. It was damn sexy.

Two, she was wanted. By everyone. I knew she had fans, I sat in arenas full of them, but a majority were girls and most were fairly young. But last night I realized that there were men all over, young and old, that probably jacked off to pictures of my girl. Fuckers wanted what was mine, and I was never very good at sharing.

A surge of possessiveness rushed through me and I had Bella pressed against the tile of the shower and my tongue caressing hers in seconds.

Bella was still for a moment, shocked by my sudden fierceness, but she caught up quickly. Her hands were in my hair and a leg hitched around my hip.

I shut the water off and dried us both without a word. Bella said nothing, but I could tell she had questions. Always with the questions.

I didn’t have time to deal with the drying of her layers and layers of hair, so I threw her over my shoulder and carried her back to bed.

“Edward!” she shrieked, but I just gave her a light pat on her ass.

I deposited her on her bed, and she laid out gloriously naked in front of me. _So many options_.

I tapped her calf. “Spread.”

A satisfying blush creeped along her cheeks and chest, but she did spread her legs apart, just a bit. “More, Bella.”

Once I was satisfied with her position I kneeled on the bed between her spread legs, leaning over her with one arm on the bed and the other caressing her wherever I could reach.

“How many men, hell, women too… how many do you think picture you like this?” I asked her. I sat up and trailed my hands lightly along her thighs. Looking down at her pussy I could already tell there was a light coat of arousal, but I needed more. Always more with her.

She started squirming and I could tell she wanted to rub her thighs together. She couldn’t with me sitting between them. I placed a hand on the center of her stomach, keeping her still.

I used my free hand to lightly pet her pussy, running one finger along her, light as a feather. “How many?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut.

I let one finger slide between her lips, because I didn’t want my girl wanting for anything. I leaned over her.

“I’ve never been good at sharing,” I told her, tugging at her earlobe with my teeth.

“I – I don’t want you to share,” Bella gasped out, turning her head toward me.

I smiled at her, loving the way her eyes were slightly glassed over and how her mouth hung open as she gasped for breath. 

“Do you think they fantasize about what your pussy tastes like?” I asked, pulling my hand away from her and bringing my dripping fingers between us. I sucked her juices off of my fingers, enjoying the wanton moan I got in response.

“No one else gets to know,” I told her. My thumb trailed along her lower lip, pulling it out from her teeth as she bit it. “No one else gets to see your lips wrapped around their cock.” I moved down to her breasts, topped with perfect pink nipples that were begging for attention. “No one else gets to see, to feel these.” One of Bella’s hands pulled me closer as I worked over her chest, lapping at each nipple and enjoying the sweet taste of her skin.

“No one else gets to feel how soft you are,” I said, trailing my hands along her sides, tracing her largest tattoo.

“This,” I cupped her pussy in my hand, letting my thumb put pressure on her clit. “This is for me.”

A strangled whine escaped Bella and it was time to stop teasing. I pressed my cock against her. “Tell me, Bella.”

“Y-yours,” she stuttered.

I hovered over her and watched her face as I seethed myself inside her. Her eyes rolled back, her mouth opened just slightly and I couldn’t resist her pretty pink lips.

I kissed her hard, swallowing her moans as I started a harsh rhythm with my thrusts. I had too much pent-up possessiveness after seeing everyone fawn over her last night.

Bella was a phenomenon to everyone. She was a fantasy, a dream. She was an inspiration and a commodity.

She was my Bella, though. She was my girl with a blanket fetish and a love for Oreo’s and peanut butter. She was the girl that tried to make me feel better when she had no idea the severity of my problems, our problems. She was the girl I would take a bullet for.

Soft hands gripped my arms, my back, my neck. Bella grunted out a curse as she met my hips, thrust for thrust.

I reached down and rubbed her clit. I got another loud moan in my ear as she tensed around me. I finally let myself go, collapsing on top of her.

“I…” Bella mumbled, her hands roaming along my back. I held most of my weight off of her, but she felt too good against me to move just yet. “I should take you to events more often.”


	6. Delicate

_Sometimes I wonder when you sleep, are you ever dreaming of me? Sometimes when I look into your eyes I pretend you’re mine, all the damn time. ~ Taylor Swift, Delicate_

_..Sick.._

“Holy shit,” Bella mumbled, eying the house centered on the island.

We were just off the coast of Brazil. I bought the island from a private group that used to rent it out to tourists. It was perfect; it already had a house built on the property. It was fairly simple compared to what some would want from a private island, but I knew Bella didn’t need anything too extravagant. It was still luxurious, but not overtly so.

Plus, it only cost twenty-five million.

I wasn’t sure how long we would be here, it all depended on Bella. When she started to feel better, when she wanted to get back. I was in no rush to get back to Chicago. I wanted Carlisle to stew in his mess. I wanted him to realize how badly he needed me.

I docked the boat and helped Bella onto the sandy beach. She had changed before we landed and was in an all-too-innocent white cotton sundress. She had the sleeves arranged just right to cover the scar on her shoulder.

Bella always made sure it was covered. I would watch her get dressed and seeing her carefully arrange her tops so the scar on her shoulder was covered always felt like a kick to the gut.

_I should have been there. I should have protected her._

I shook the negative thoughts out of my head and grabbed her hand. Puling her toward the house, I let her smile distract me from my guilt.

“This is amazing, Edward,” Bella told me, her eyes taking in every detail of the house.

It was open, only a bedroom, with an ensuite, and a living room inside. The kitchen was outside, and nearly every wall in the place was a sliding glass door. Some nasty storms popped up sometimes, but there were hurricane resistant coverings that we could close to protect the glass. There was a relatively small square pool on the deck, and more lounging areas on the roof.

The house was small, but the perfect getaway for two. “You like it?”

“Yes, I love it,” Bella told me. She gave me a quick kiss then skipped back outside. She slid her sandals off and sat with her feet in the pool.

I left her there to enjoy herself and brought in our luggage. We didn’t bring too much. If we needed anything I had a shipping address on the island and an off-shore account to charge anything we needed. No one would know where we were. Emmett was the only one who knew, but he didn’t know how to get to the island. Just that we were off the coast of Brazil.

The sun was starting to set as I placed the last suitcase inside. Bella was still sitting at the pool, her elbows resting on her knees and her head in her hands. It would be easy to guess what she was thinking about, why she looked so melancholy despite the beauty that surrounded her.

Career wise, her trip back to Los Angeles was a complete success. Emotionally, I had a feeling it was more of a strain. She still had a lot of conflicting emotions running through her. Sometimes I got her to talk to me about it, but sometimes I had no clue what to say to her. I just wanted to make her better, and I didn’t know how.

I kicked off my shoes, rolled up the legs of my jeans, and joined her by the pool. We sat in silence for a while, listening to the crashing of the waves as the sky darkened around us.

_..Sick.._

“Most vulnerable places?” I asked Bella.

“Eyes, nose, ears, throat, knees, ankles, groin,” she said. With each new part, she showed me a defense move I had taught her to attack each spot. A jab to the eyes, a flat punch to the nose, a smack to an ear, a kick to a kneecap or ankle, and a knee to the groin. She simply demonstrated them, but I knew she hand enough strength behind her now to do some damage if she ever needed to.

It was my sincerest hope that she would never be put in a situation to use any of these skills, but I wanted her prepared, just in case.

“If they have your hands?”

“Rule of thumb. Rotate my hand towards their thumb and pull.”

I grabbed her hand in a strong hold, and she did exactly that.

“If they’ve got you from behind?”

I stood behind her and wrapped my arms over her arms and around her waist. I locked my hands, creating a cage around her.

“Head back,” Bella pressed her head lightly into mine, just barely knocking against my neck. I straightened myself and my leg ended up just where I would hope her attackers would. “Pull their leg.” She reached down and grabbed my leg, toppling me over behind her.

Bella stood over me, the sun shining behind her, and smirked down. “Did I pass?”

I started getting Bella to work out with me a few days after we got here. She needed the stress relief a good workout would bring, and I needed to know she could take care of herself. I transformed some of our workouts into self-defense classes for her, and she was starting to enjoy it a little too much. Nothing got her more excited than knocking me on my ass.

“With flying colors,” I told her. I would take a few hits if it meant she could knock out any fucker that tried to mess with her.

_..Sick.._

“How are things there?” I asked Emmett while I had him on the phone. We had been gone about two months now, and I figured Carlisle would be slowly losing his mind at this point. More so than he already had.

“Fucking crazy. Dad hasn’t gotten over you leaving. He mumbles about it all of the time. Mom is a mess, always bitching about how Bella has changed her golden boy.”

I couldn’t say I missed Chicago at all, not yet. In a month or so I would start to get restless and want to get back to work, but right now I was content in spending time with Bella and doing simple things with my resources here. I could practically run my business from my laptop.

“Keep an eye on every Volturi in the city. I’m not coming back only to find out that Carlisle has sold our entire empire to Aro fucking Volturi.”

“He’s had a few meetings, but I’ve got his office bugged. We can’t let him stay in charge much longer, Edward. We need to either get him to step down or…”

_Or_. We both knew what that meant. Forcing Carlisle to step down would not go over well.

I stared out the window and saw the dark clouds moving in. We were about to get hit by a storm. They popped up here from time to time, but this one looked particularly intense.

“I’ve got to go, Emmett. We’ve got a nasty storm coming. I’ll talk to you in two weeks.”

I hung up just as Bella turned off the shower. I went out and started boarding up the windows, waiting until the metal barriers surrounded every corner of the house.

When I got back inside Bella was just walking out of the bathroom. She was in a pair of my boxers and a tight little tank top. Her wet hair was piled on top of her head and her face was fresh and clean. I hadn’t seen her with an inch of makeup on in months, and she was more gorgeous than ever.

“Is the storm really going to be that bad?” she asked and I could hear the nervousness in her voice. When I told her the storm was coming earlier today she admitted to me that she had always hated storms, the intense ones. That was why she loved Los Angeles, no severe weather to deal with.

“We’ll be fine. The house is built to withstand these kinds of storms,” I told her. I sat next to her and she leaned her head on my bare shoulder. “You don’t have to worry.”

“I know it’s stupid,” she grumbled.

“It’s not stupid.”

“So, what are we gonna do if we’re locked in here for the rest of the night?”

I looked down at her, and I could tell she needed a distraction. _Distraction…_ My eyes fell to the bar in the corner. I went and grabbed the first full bottle I saw and two glasses.

“I don’t know if drinking will really help,” Bella laughed.

“A game will, though,” I told her. I sat back down next to her and turned to face her. “The alcohol is just to loosen you up a bit.”

“What kind of game is it?”

“A game where we learn each other’s darkest secrets.”

The first crack of thunder sounded then, followed quickly by a downpour of rain. I poured us each a shots worth of liquid and handed Bella her glass. I dared her with my eyes and was pleased when she accepted and downed the liquid. I followed suit.

“No question is too personal. We have to answer whatever the other asks. Deal?”

Bella hesitated for a moment but nodded with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

“Ladies first.”

She thought for a moment. “What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time?”

“You.”

Bella giggled. “That doesn’t count!”

“I don’t see why not. It’s true.” I shrugged. “What is your favorite thing about your job?”

“Well, with acting, I love the challenge. I love having to become someone else so well people forget who I am. With music, I love the puzzle. I love putting words together in just the right way to make it sound beautiful.” She spoke with such passion and enthusiasm when she talked about her career. Every time I asked her about it she lit up. “Hmm. Did you actually have fun when we went to the Oscars?”

I cocked my head at that. “Of course. Why would you think I didn’t?”

“I know it’s not really your kind of event. I just thought you might be miserable there.”

“I had a wonderful time, Bella. Nothing is more fun than watching you prove yourself to be the best.” I continued before she could protest. “Who was your first kiss?”

Her cheeks flamed at that, but she still answered. “Do you remember Ryan, from the party?”

I frowned. “I didn’t realize you two dated.”

“We didn’t. We kissed in the movie. I guess it doesn’t really count as an actual kiss. My first real kiss was Peter.”

Peter, I knew about. “Why had you never – “

“Ah, I believe it’s my turn. Who was _your_ first kiss?”

“A girl named Carmen. I was twelve. Now, explain to me how you went seventeen years without having boys throw themselves at you.”

Bella shrugged. “I was painfully quiet and shy growing up. No one was interested in me.”

Their loss. My gain. The less men I have to think about that have had their hands on her, the better. I poured us both more to drink as Bella asked her next question.

“That first night… you just wanted sex, didn’t you?”

I sighed. “Yes. But it didn’t take me long to realize you were much, much better than that.”

Thankfully, Bella didn’t look upset at my answer. “How did you and Kate meet?”

Bella launched into a story about how she was in Los Angeles for a final meeting before she was offered her first roll. She was waiting in a Starbucks across the street an hour before the meeting and a barista sat next to her on her break and started talking to her. They hit it off immediately, and Bella kept coming back and telling her about her progress.

It was a sweet story, and I could tell Bella missed her friend as she recalled their meeting.

“How… how many women were there. Before?” Bella asked quietly. She sat with her hands in her lap, fidgeting.

“I don’t have an exact number. I used to sample our… product regularly, and it clouded some of my memories of certain times.” I could see the frustration on her face. “They don’t matter anymore, Bella. They never mattered to me.”

“I know. It doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“How many men have you slept with?” The question tumbled out of my mouth before I could think about it. I didn’t really want to know, but I also did. If I ever came across any of them I would probably kill them.

“Two.”

_Damn_. “Two?”

“Yes, two. What kind of drugs did you do?”

“Cocaine and heroin mostly.” That got me a curse under her breath. “These two men. Did they satisfy you?”

It was a risky question, but I was confident in her answer. I knew her body better than my own, I knew no one could have ever made her feel like I did.

“I thought they did. But…”

I waited for her to continue, but I got too impatient. “But?”

“But, now that I have a better… comparison I realize that sex before was rather mediocre.”

We had been sitting on the couch, facing each other, but not touching. I took the moment to pull her legs across my lap and rub my hands along her legs.

“How do you always know what I need?” Bella asked.

“Because I love you.” I poured us another drink, because I had a feeling I would need Bella a little looser for the line of questioning I had in mind. “What’s your favorite sexual position?”

Her eyes went a little wide, but then I could see the arousal take over. “Um,” Bella’s cheeks got red and she looked away from me.

“Hey,” I lifted her chin to get her eyes to meet mine. “You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“I like it when you’re behind me.”

Her words went straight to my cock, and she could feel it. The little minx rubbed her leg along it as it sat in my lap.

“What’s… what’s yours?”

“I like you underneath me,” I told her honestly. I got another blush for that.

“What is one thing you’ve wanted to try, sexually, that you’ve never been brave enough to ask for?”

“Edward,” Bella groaned, but not the good kind of groan.

I pulled her into my lap, making sure she felt my cock between her legs. “I want you. All of the time. Trust me, there’s nothing you can say that I haven’t thought of before.”

Bella settled herself against me. “I always thought… being tied up always intrigued me.”

_Jesus_.

I crushed my lips to hers, immediately seeking out her warm tongue. My hands gripped her ass, grinding her onto my cock.

Bella pulled away, gasping for breath. “What about you?”

“I want to fuck your tits,” I whispered in her ear, grabbing both breasts in my hands to accentuate my point.

I heard her exhale sharply and could feel the excited energy coming off of her. Then she whispered, so quietly I barely heard it, “Okay.”

With Bella in my arms I carried her over to the bedroom. I set her down on the edge of the bed and looked around the room. It was dark with all of the windows covered, only the light of a few soft lamps illuminating the area. The storm still raged outside, but it seemed fitting.

“Stay there,” I told her. I went to the bathroom and found a robe. I pulled the drawstring out and went back to the bedroom.

Bella looked adorably nervous, sitting on the edge of the bed, biting her lip, and wringing her hands. It wouldn’t take long to get rid of the nerves.

I kneeled in front of her. “You don’t have to be nervous. It’s just me.”

She smiled down at me. It was a smile full of love and trust, a smile I wanted to see every day for the rest of my life.

I laid the tie on the bed and pulled Bella to me. With her body pressed to mine completely, I captured her lips. My hands gripped her everywhere over her clothing; breasts, hips, thighs, everything I could reach. I snuck a hand in the boxers she was wearing and was met with her wet heat. I took that as my sign to continue.

The boxers were already too big for her, so they fell to the floor easily. She was deliciously bare underneath. I lifted the tight tank top that had been teasing me all night off of her and immediately palmed both of her breasts. They were just the right size for my hands, perfect handfuls.

“Lie back,” I told her.

Bella carefully scooted back on the bed and I followed. I kissed my way up her body, lavishing her warm skin with my tongue, until I got back to her mouth. I sat up over her and pulled her hands over her head. Grabbing the tie from next to us, I carefully fastened it around her wrists. It was fairly loose, I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable, but then she muttered “Tighter,” from underneath me. _This woman will be the death of me._

I stood back once she was in place and admired the view in front of me. Long lean legs stretched out, her thighs pressed together to give her a little bit of friction. Her arms pulled taut above her head made her breasts look all the more inviting.

My clothing was discarded in a haste and I pumped my cock with my hand a few times, enjoying the view. Bella’s eyes were on me, taking in every movement I made. Even in the dim light I could see the desire written all over her face.

I got on the bed and straddled her chest. With a hand behind her head I lifted it up, the tip of my cock pressing against her lips. She opened immediately, letting me push my cock in as far as I could.

“Fuck, Bella,” I muttered. I pulled away once I was coated in a good layer of her saliva and sat back, my cock resting right between her breasts. I played with her for a minute, pulling and tweaking at her nipples until they were hard peaks.

“You okay?” I asked her, my voice gruff.

She nodded and I couldn’t wait any longer. I pushed her breasts together, encasing my cock between them. I groaned at the warmth and the sight below me. Whenever the head of my cock got close, Bella would flick it with her tongue.

“You’re fuckin’ gorgeous,” I grunted out. I squeezed her, a little harder than I probably should have, but the tightening in my body was reaching a peak and I couldn’t help it.

I pulled away from her slightly and took my cock in my own hand. A few more pumps and I came in long streams across her chest. I leaned over her, my hand resting on the headboard behind her.

Once I caught my breath I left Bella in the bedroom again to get a warm washcloth. When I got back Bella was still in her spot, but her legs were pressed tightly together as she squirmed.

I went to the side of the bed and cleaned her chest off quietly. Bella stared up at me and opened her mouth to say something but shut it quickly.

“What is it?” I asked her.

“I need you,” she whispered.

I went back to the foot of the bed and grabbed both of her ankles, spreading her legs wide open for me. “I’ll always take care of you, baby. But do you want to know another fantasy of mine?” I asked as I situated myself between her legs, my lips an inch from her soaked flesh.

“W-what?”

“I want you to tell me everything you feel, every dirty thought that runs through your head.”

I took a long, slow lick along her pussy and her thighs clamped around my head. I pulled them away and spread her out for me as I got to work.

“Oh, God, Edward,” Bella groaned as I flicked her clit repeatedly with my tongue. She came quickly, and I loved how aroused my little fantasy got her.

“Did you like it when I fucked your tits, Bella?” I asked her, my tongue sliding between her lips.

“Yes.”

“What did you like about it?” I slipped a finger inside and started fingering her at a steady pace as my tongue sucked her clit into my mouth.

Bella’s body squirmed and arched and I could tell she was losing her carefully crafted control. “ _Everything_. I liked you taking control. I liked – ah – the look on your face as you came.”

“Say it,” I told her, feeling her impending orgasm in the way she started to clench around my finger.

“W-what?”

“Say you liked me fucking your tits.” I looked up at her from between her legs and saw the confliction on her face.

“I… _shit_ ,” I bit down lightly on her clit. My fingers picked up their pace and Bella’s back arched even more. “Oh, God. I liked you fucking my tits.”

The vulgar language coming out of her mouth caused me to lose my control this time. All at once I sucked on her clit, started fucking her harder with my finger, and reached up to grab a breast and tweak her nipple. She came again, screaming my name this time.

I gave her a minute to calm down before I flipped her over, her bound hands still above her head. My cock slipped inside easily against her soaked pussy. We both groaned.

Bella leaned up on her elbows, her hands gripping the sheet beneath her. She started pushing back against me, making her ass slap louder against my abdomen.

“I love it when you lose control,” I whispered to her. “I love watching you so desperate for me.”

“Need you,” she muttered. “Always need you.”

I pulled the knot securing her hands free and she gripped my arms that caged her down to the bed. Her nails dug into my skin and she moaned as her walls clenched around my cock.

“I love feeling you come around me,” I told her, shooting my own release inside her.

It took a good twenty minutes before we were situated in bed, Bella spooned against my chest. The storm was still roaring outside, but Bella was passed out in my arms.

.. _Sick_..

Bella wasn’t the same, not after our fight on my birthday. I overreacted when I found the script. It never occurred to me that she would plan another movie like that. I assumed she would go back to doing other projects. Reading her words, the scenes where we first met, when we first had sex, all of our firsts and our hardest times at the start of our relationship… they were all moments I never wanted to share with anyone else.

Bella was mine, those memories were ours. But, her words about her career kept coming back to me. _Every actor relies on other people to make their career. I’ve had to suck up to directors and producers for years. I’ve had to sit through conversations with them telling me how inadequate I am, or how I’ll probably get a role because of how fuckable I look._

So, I did some research. A few months before Bella and I met one of the men she worked with, a producer or director, I couldn’t remember which, was accused of sexual harassment. The second I read that, my stomach dropped. Thankfully, Bella had released a statement saying she was never a victim, but she stood by those who were accusing him.

_I’ve had to sit through conversations with them telling me how inadequate I am, or how I’ll probably get a role because of how fuckable I look._

The asshole may not have touched her, but he definitely left some emotional damage. She had done a few interviews where the subject was brought up and hearing her talk about how some men treated her and other women in the industry made me nauseous.

Of course she would rather make her own films. Of course she would want to be her own boss as long as she could. If I ever came across the men who had told her she was fuckable enough for a role I would tear them apart.

I told her I was fine with the film, and I was. The more I thought about it, the more a glimpse into Bella’s mind during our relationship intrigued me.

Something was wrong, though. Once we got to Ireland, she was withdrawn and sad. At first I thought it was the Felix situation, but the longer this went on the more likely it seemed that it was something else. She avoided me, hardly looked at me, and her eyes were always sad. It destroyed me.

It destroyed me because I started to think she was scared of me, started to think she had changed her mind and was just looking for a way to escape.

Tonight, she had fallen asleep on the couch again. I was tired of sleeping alone, so I carried her into the bedroom. I wrapped my arms around her and prayed I didn’t have a limited number of days with her left.

The sound of the shower woke me up, and I followed my routine of going in there and listening to her cry. It fucking killed me just standing here, but she needed her space. I didn’t like it, but I knew she needed time to sort through this on her own. That didn’t mean I would ever leave her alone to cry, though.

I usually left once she turned the water off, but I was tired of the games. I needed answers.

Bella pulled back the shower curtain and froze when she saw me. “What are you doing?”

I shrugged. “You come in here to cry a lot. I usually leave before you get out. I don’t like you crying alone.” She should never be sad and alone. _Never_.

She looked like my words crushed her, but I didn’t understand it. “What’s wrong, Bella?”

She pulled on a thin grey robe and looked away. She walked past me to the bedroom, but I grabbed her arm before she could retreat any further. “No. Talk to me, Bella. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” _Please, baby, let me help you._

Her eyes started to water and I kicked myself for making her cry.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I’m so selfish. You’ve done… everything for me. You abandoned your family. You left work behind for months. You put your life on the line for me, and what have I done for you? I forced you to be okay with a movie about your private life. I don’t have the right to do that. I _won’t_ do that. I forced you to choose between your family and me. What kind of person does that?”

I stared at her, shocked at the words coming out of her mouth.

“I don’t know how you can even look at me and not be consumed with hate. Because you know what? I’m my fucking mother. All my mother cared about growing up was her happiness. If she wanted to do something, we did it. If she wanted to go on vacation to California, my father made it happen.

“I just, I didn’t even fucking realize it, Edward! How long have I been like this? How long have I been just as terrible as her? She’s, shit, she was the reason I never wanted children before.”

That was news to me. I never knew she didn’t want children to begin with.

“I didn’t want to fuck up a kid like she fucked me up. I thought I could never do that to someone else but here I am, doing it to you,” she continued.

I took a step toward her, but she took a matching one back. She slid down the wall and clutched her knees to her chest. She looked so small, so broken sitting on the floor.

“I can’t even look at you anymore because I just get crushed with guilt. I’m just – I’m _so sorry_ , Edward.”

_Jesus Christ_. I fell to my knees in front of her and cupped her cheek. I tried to lift her head off of her arms, but she fought me. “Look at me, Bella,” I told her. She still resisted. “Damnit Bella, look at me,” I said, my voice harsher this time, but I needed her attention. When she finally met my eyes, she wasn’t the woman I had spent the last four months with. She was the girl I met a year ago who was scared and lonely.

“You are not your mother. Everything you do is to make other people happy. Those movies and songs, they’re not just for you. You write them so other kids going through what you did don’t feel alone.” Bella shook her head and tried to drop it again, but I kept a firm grip on her chin.

“No, listen. You’re career driven, it’s one of the things I love about you. You want to have a long, prosperous career and there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you passionate. If the movie still bothered me, I would let you know.

“Don’t ever think you haven’t done anything for me, Bella. Before I met you, I was on a… bad path. I was getting cocky and thought I was invincible. I didn’t care about the consequences of what I was doing and I didn’t care who I hurt in the process. I did some stupid shit, but that all stopped the second I found you.

“I had a goal, an end game I needed to play out. And I couldn’t get there if I kept going in the direction I was. You didn’t make me choose between you and my family, they’re still waiting for me back home.”

Tears were steadily falling down her cheeks now. I framed her face with my hands and gently pushed them away. “I’m no relationship expert, but I’m pretty sure they’re about give and take. I hold you up when you need help, and you do the same for me.”

“You don’t… you don’t hate me?”

“I could never hate you. When I look at you I see a woman who has worked non-stop since she was seventeen, a woman filled with kindness and compassion. Please, don’t ever think I hate you.”

The idea that I could ever hate a thing about her was ludicrous. The fact that she spent who knows how long thinking I hated her crushed me. I pulled her into my arms and sat with her in my lap for a long time. She cried into my neck, but I knew she just needed to get it out.

I didn’t sleep at all once I got her into bed. I sat up next to her and watched over her. When she got restless I would stroke her hair and she calmed back down. I kissed her forehead every time it scrunched up and it would relax.

I heard my phone vibrate on the table next to us and grabbed it immediately, not wanting the noise to wake Bella.

“Hold on,” I said into the receiver quietly before I left Bella and went out to the patio.

“What?”

“Carlisle is trying to fuck you over. He’s talking with Volturi and other bosses, Russian included, and trying to break their trust in you. You built the entire Irish-Russian relationship since you were seventeen. You need to get back here.” Emmett’s words were rushed.

Fucking hell. Carlisle knew how important our Russian connections were. It was also my biggest achievement, soothing things over between us and the Russians.

“I’ll be back within a week. Don’t tell anyone.”

I hung up and went to make coffee as a distraction. I didn’t end up drinking it. I just set the cup on the banister in front of me and stared out at the countryside.

Just a little while later a small arm hooked around mine. Bella’s head rested on my shoulder. I didn’t have time to mince words.

“I need to go back to Chicago.”


	7. So It Goes

_I did a number on you. But, honestly, baby, who’s counting? You did a number on me. But, honestly, baby, who’s counting? One, two, three. ~ Taylor Swift, So It Goes…_

_..Sick.._

I needed to get back to Chicago, but there was no way I was letting Bella visit her parents, her mother specifically, alone. Not after everything I had heard about her.

We were in Washington, on our way to the tiny town of Forks for a few days. After our visit, Bella would be coming back to Chicago with me. She would have to work, and I knew she would have to travel for it, but there was part of me that wanted Chicago to be her new home. Her permanent home.

“Thank you,” Bella whispered from the passenger’s seat.

“For what?”

“For never giving up on me.” _Never, baby._

I pulled her hand up to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. Everyday my resolve got clearer. Everyday I realized how important she was to me, and I was never letting go.

I continued driving down the wet, winding road. I had never formally met a girlfriend’s parents, but I wasn’t nervous. Her father was a former cop, there was a chance he would recognize my name, but if that was the case I would deal with it. There was no good that would come from overanalyzing the situation.

Bella gave me directions as we entered town and we were soon parked outside of a modest, two-story home. It was dark out, but from what I could see it was a good sized home for just two people.

“It’s a lovely house,” I told Bella as I grabbed our luggage out of the trunk.

“Thank you,” she replied, yawning as she leaned against the car and watched me. It was an odd response, considering it was her parent’s home. “I bought it.”

“You bought your parents a house?”

“I bought them a new place and paid off all of their debt, including my sister’s collage loans.”

That frustrated me. Bella shouldn’t have been responsible for any of that. It wasn’t her job to take care of her parents, she shouldn’t have had to pay off her sister’s fucking debt. My opinion on Charlie and Renee Swan had just gone down exponentially.

“Bells!”

A man exited the dimly lit home and shuffled over to Bella. They hugged for a minute and I locked up the car.

“Dad, this is my boyfriend. Edward Cullen,” Bella said, a nervous smile on her lips.

I held a hand out. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Swan.”

“You taking care of my little girl?” he asked, squeezing my hand with a good amount of force. The sign of a strong man. My grip was stronger.

“As best I can,” I told him, because I didn’t have a great track record with taking care of her.

My answer must have appeased him. “Let’s get you two inside, you must be exhausted.”

Charlie helped with the luggage and we set it near a staircase next to the kitchen. The home was comforting, I supposed. If you liked fish. There were plaques hanging around with fish mounted to them, and I noticed a mantle with pictures in the living room. I would need a closer look at those later.

“Where’s mom?” Bella asked.

“She fell asleep a while ago. She’ll be excited to see you in the morning, Bells.”

Charlie may have earned a little more respect with his obvious worry over his daughter, but what mother didn’t even stay up to see her daughter after months apart? After she nearly fucking died?

“I think we’re just going to head to bed. Thanks for waiting up, dad.” Bella gave her father another hug and I carried both suitcases up the stairs.

“Well, uh, goodnight,” Charlie mumbled. He seemed like he wanted to say something but decided against it.

“Should I sleep – “

“You should sleep here. I bought the house, they’re hardly in a position to say you can’t sleep in my room. Which, isn’t technically _my_ room. My mother loves to call it the guest room.”

Renee had too many checks against her. She would never earn my respect. Charlie still had some hope.

I closed the door to the room and looked around. I had been hoping for a glimpse into Bella’s life, but she was right. This wasn’t her room. There were no school pictures or diaries. This wasn’t the room she grew up in, this room had nothing to do with her.

Even my parents brought my childhood memories with them when they moved.

Bella fell into bed but then grumbled about needing a shower. This girl and her showers… she had a bit of an OCD thing when it came to showering before bed. No matter how tired she was, she couldn’t go to sleep if she hadn’t washed the day away in the shower.

I lifted her over my shoulder and took her to the adjoining bathroom. I set her on the counter and stared unabashedly at her. How anyone could see this woman as anything less than extraordinary was beyond me. Any other parent in the world would have a room dedicated to her. Her success, her talent, her heart. Something didn’t fit.

Bella’s blush made me smile while she lifted my shirt over my head. After her mandatory shower I tucked her into bed next to me. I kept my arms around her all night, hoping they could hold her together for the next two days we were here.

Bella had a number of tells that let me know when she was nervous or anxious. She picked at her nails and bit her lip. Those were the most obvious. Her eyes also got a little unfocused, like she was lost in her head and not really aware of what was going on around her.

She was doing all three as she sat on the bed the next morning.

“You shouldn’t be so nervous in your own home,” I told her, rolling up the sleeves of my shirt.

She shrugged. “It’s not really mine.”

It was. But I didn’t fight her on it.

Downstairs, her parents were in the kitchen cooking. They seemed like a normal, happy couple. Renee was the complete opposite of Bella, appearance wise. She was tall, her hair shades lighter, and her eyes a dull blue. Bella looked more like Charlie, but it seemed she had none of Renee in her at all.

“Hey, you two. You sleep okay?” Charlie asked, eying me. I knew his question. _No, I didn’t fuck your daughter while you were down the hall._

I hadn’t touched her in weeks, actually. Not since we were on the island.

“Yes, thank you,” I told Charlie.

Renee hadn’t looked up once. Not when we walked into the room, not when Charlie greeted us.

“Mom, this is my boyfriend, Edward,” Bella said. The longing in her voice was clear. Every child wants their parents’ approval and attention, and Bella was no different. She just wanted her mother to fucking greet her.

Renee finally looked up, but only at me. “It’s nice to meet you, Edward.”

_Bitch_.

I nodded in her direction but didn’t acknowledge her otherwise.

“So, where did you guys travel?” Charlie asked as we sat down. I kept my eyes on Renee and the slight eye roll she gave as Charlie talked.

“We spent a lot of time on a private island. It was beautiful,” Bella said, starting a conversation with her father about our travels. He seemed genuinely interested in what she was saying, but I focused on her mother. The indifference was coming off of her in waves.

Thankfully, we left after breakfast. I looked at Bella like she was crazy when she suggested a walk, but she told me no one in this town cared about her career. She was just Bella, ex-Chief Swan’s daughter.

It was unbelievably enjoyable to get to walk and hold her hand. It was a shitty day, dark clouds loomed over and there was the occasional sprinkle of rain, but I had never really gotten to be with her in a normal public setting. I could get used to it.

Which was good, because I was going to marry her. I wanted my ring on her finger and my name after hers. I wanted her in the house I had been building for the past six months and I wanted to sit next to her the next time she won one of those fancy awards. I wanted everything she would give me.

Every word out of her mouth solidified the decision I never consciously made. Somewhere on our trip it was just… decided. Our future was set in my eyes, and the lack of fear was confusing. I rebelled against marriage and commitment for so long, I always expected to settle into marriage only when I needed to.

Even when I first met Bella, all I wanted was a quick release with her. But then she went and made me fall in love with her. I never fought against it. I just let her barge into my life and change everything, and I loved every fucking second of it. I loved having her toothbrush in a holder next to mine. I loved the blankets that were constantly scattered around any house she was in for longer than a day. _Fuck, I just loved her._

We sat down at a table just outside of her old high school. Bella stared at the school in front of her, and I stared at Bella.

“I hated high school,” she told me.

“Why?”

“I was ignored for the most part. I was too quiet to make friends.”

“I can’t picture you too quiet to make friends,” I told her, grabbing her left hand in mine and imagining a ring on it. She was the life of the party after the Oscars earlier this year.

“We wouldn’t have been friends, if we were the same age and in school together,” she said with a frown.

“We would have. I’d have made sure of it. Though I wouldn’t want to be just friends,” I smirked.

“You probably had every cheerleader after you. You wouldn’t have slummed it with me.”

“Hey,” I tugged her chin so Bella looked at me. “You’re beautiful and smart, both traits I’m sure you still possessed in high school. Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

I knew this would happen. Being around her mother was making her regress, making her ashamed of herself because her mother doesn’t appreciate her. This was why I didn’t want her here alone.

I pulled her to her feet and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

When we got back Renee was cooking and Charlie was watching a game on television. I wanted to protest when Bella went to help her mother, but I needed a few minutes with Charlie first.

I went to the mantle I got a glimpse of the night before. There were pictures along it, but there was only one of Bella. She was with Charlie, in what appeared to be a hotel room. I recognized her dress from the night she won her first Academy Award. Charlie stood next to her, his arm around her and an ear to ear smile on his face. Bella had her award in her hand, and a matching smile.

Every other picture was Renee and Charlie with another girl. Her sister, I guessed. There were no baby pictures of Bella, no school pictures. Not a single mother daughter picture.

I went quietly to the couch opposite of Charlie and sat for a minute before I cleared my throat.

“Charlie.”

“Edward.”

Silence.

“I love your daughter,” I told him. He nodded. “I’m going to marry her.” No questions. I didn’t need permission.

“Have you told her that, yet?” Ah, Bella came across her wit honestly.

“No. But I will. Soon.”

“Are you asking my permission?”

“No. Even if you said no I would still marry her. I was just letting you know.”

“You have it, even though you don’t need it. I’ve never seen her this… whole. _Happy_.”

I nodded, because what I wanted to say was that her happiness was in spite of everything his wife had done since we got here. A nod would have to do.

“I know her and her mother’s relationship isn’t great, but I’ve loved that girl from the second I set eyes on her. Don’t hurt her.”

His threat was clear, and I did my best not to laugh at it.

We sat down to dinner and I put a hand on Bella’s thigh, giving it a squeeze. _Just a little while longer, baby._

“What are you doing when you get back to Los Angeles, Bells?” Charlie asked her.

“I’m actually going to Chicago with Edward for a while.”

Her mother huffed. When Bella asked what her issue was she replied with “It just took you finding a man to quit. I would’ve thought nearly dying would have done it.”

_Fucking bitch_. “She’s not quitting,” I grunted out. “She’s working on another project similar to _Badlands_.”

“That’s great,” Charlie said, his eyes shifting from his wife to daughter.

“Oh, please. You’ve always been desperate for attention, Bella. That’s why you picked up this whole acting thing. Now you have a rich boyfriend to give you attention, so you’re quitting.”

My fists clenched, my desire to reach for the woman’s neck nearly taking over.

“You know what? Yeah, maybe part of the reason I love my job is because people pay attention to me. Lord knows I never received any from you growing up.”

“You had a lovely childhood, Bella. Don’t throw that in my face.”

“Lovely? I had no one! You and Jane were always off together while Charlie was at work and I was all alone.”

“It was better than what it could have been! You should be grateful we took you in!”

_Grateful we took you in._

“Fuck,” I muttered to myself.

She wasn’t theirs.

“Renee! That’s enough!” 

“No, what does she mean? Took me in?” Bella asked her father. The man who was supposed to be her father. Her voice was so small and scared.

“When I was patrolling one night, I found you. You were just a few hours old and someone had just – they left you in a trash can in the park.

“We never found your parents. We agreed to foster you for a while, but I couldn’t let you get tossed in the system. I knew what happened to kids there.”

Charlie had the decency to look remorseful for the lies, but Renee just sat there and glared.

“You’re… not my parents.”

“Biologically, no.”

“I’ve spent my whole life trying to be good enough for you. I bought you this goddamn house, paid off all of your debt, I deposit $300,000 into your bank accounts every year. But, no matter what I did, you always hated me. I fucked up your perfect little family, huh? A literal piece of trash you had to bring in and take care of.”

She had been taking care of her family since she was seventeen. No wonder she seemed so much older than twenty when I met her.

Charlie reached across the table for her, but she flinched away. “Don’t fucking touch me,” she shouted. She stood from the table and I followed immediately. “We need to go,” she told me.

Bella made it to her room and started throwing things into her bag. She started shaking and I knew she was about to lose it. I pulled her into me. “Just a few more minutes. Just keep it together for a few more minutes and then we’re gone.”

She took three deep breaths and then nodded. With our bags in my hands and Bella right behind me, we went downstairs. Renee and Charlie were both by the door. Renee had a selfish smile on her face and Charlie looked ashamed. He was standing in front of the door, like he wouldn’t let her go.

“Move,” I said. It was all it took to get him to step out of the way.

Bella got into the passenger seat as I put the luggage away. I opened the door to get in but shut it again. I went back to the house. Charlie and Renee were still by the door.

I looked at Renee, because she was the one I truly had concerns about. “If I ever hear of you trying to get in contact with her… if you start spreading rumors about her or if you go public to get your five minutes of fame, I will fucking end you. Do you understand?”

Her eyes went wide, but she nodded.

“She’s…” I shook my head because there were no words good enough to describe her. “She’s talented and kind and _good_. Even if she wasn’t yours, you lucked out having her in your life.” I copied Bella’s technique and took a few deep breaths, keeping in the more vulgar threats I wanted to shout at her. “Leave her alone.”

I looked at Charlie next. “Just give her time,” I told him.

Hours later, when we were finally in a hotel suite in Seattle, I was still fuming. I set our bags down and Bella walked over to the bed. She just sat there and stared at the wall.

It was so easy to forget she was just twenty-one. She should be in collage, going to parties and figuring out who she wanted to be. Someone so young shouldn’t be so sad.

I knelt in front of her and put my hands gently on her knees. I didn’t know what to say to her, didn’t know if there was anything I could say, really.

“I don’t have anyone,” she whispered.

“You’ve got me. You’ll always have me,” I said. I rubbed along her legs because she started to shiver.

Bella leaned down and kissed me. I let her use me as a distraction for a few moments, but I pulled away when she slid off the bed and into my lap. “Bella, we should talk – “

“No, please. We can talk later. Right now, I just, I need to know you love me.”

Because I was helpless against her, I gave in. With her naked and vulnerable underneath me I helped her lose herself, just for the night. I told her with every move I made how much I loved her, how I would never leave her.

..Sick..

We got back to Chicago last night. I had an odd sense of urgency the second we walked into the penthouse. I had a lot of shit to get done and I wanted to get to it. I woke at four the next morning and shifted Bella aside as she slept on my chest.

I made a mental list of things I had to do today as I showered. The most important being meet with Carlisle. He and Esme didn’t know I was back, and I was equally dreading and looking forward to the discussion. Dreading it because Esme would be upset she wasn’t my first call as soon as the plane landed, and looking forward to the bullshit excuses Carlisle would give me when I asked him how things were when I was gone.

When I got out of the shower there was a beautiful brunette sitting on the bathroom counter, two cups of coffee next to her. I didn’t miss the way she eyed my cock before I wrapped a towel around my waist.

“You should be asleep,” I told her, giving her a quick kiss as she handed me a cup. She hadn’t slept well in the days that followed her blow up with Charlie and Renee.

“Couldn’t.”

“Well, I do have a few things to talk to you about.”

“Oh?”

“You’re going to have two of my men with you at all times. They’ll give you your space when needed, but they’ll always be there. Ben and Eric. You might remember –“

“Ben. He was there.”

There. When she got shot. He carried her to the ambulance.

“Yes. They’ve been with us for a decade. I wouldn’t trust you with anyone else,” I squeezed her thigh, because it was right next to the sink as I shaved and because I wanted to.

“If you ever think you see anyone suspicious, don’t second guess yourself. Tell me, or Ben or Eric if I’m not with you.”

Bella nodded. “Okay.”

“I don’t know when I’ll be back tonight,” I told her as I dried my face. I went and stood between her legs and pulled so she wrapped them around me. “Will you be okay?”

She rolled her eyes. “I do know how to take care of myself. I’ve got some work to do, I’ll probably stay in all day. No need to worry about me.”

There was something else though. Something she wasn’t telling me. I stared her down until she cracked.

“Will you be okay? Safe, I mean.”

I smoothed the frown between her brows with my thumb. “Yes. Please don’t worry about me.”

Her small hands gripped my hair and pulled me to her. I wanted nothing more than to continue the kiss with her in much less clothing, but I had to go.

As I walked through the lobby of my office everyone stared at me like I had risen from the dead. Emmett was standing in the doorway of my office.

“We’ve got a lot of shit to discuss,” he said.

“Yes, we do.”

_..Sick.._

Chicago was a mess. Criminal activity usually ran smoothly throughout the city, we made sure of it. There wasn’t a drug ring or prostitute that we didn’t know about. That was before, though.

Now, Carlisle has let everything go to shit. It was my job to fix it, even though he was still, technically, in charge. It wouldn’t be for long though. Another couple of months and he would step down. He had to see the stupid shit he had been doing.

I hadn’t really talked to Bella in days. I saw her before bed sometimes, but she was usually asleep by the time I got home. I couldn’t blame her, it was usually two or three in the morning.

I knew she had started working on her album, but I didn’t know anything else. So I set up some alert on my phone that would go off when there was any news regarding Isabella Swan. I wasn’t above stalking my girl, just so I knew what was going on.

I got one of those alerts tonight.

**Isabella Swan Signs $20 Million Dollar Contract with _Dior_**

That was shit I should already know, so I shut down my computer and went home, hoping I could catch her before she fell asleep. It was only eleven-thirty, so I had a chance of catching her awake.

When I got home I found Bella brushing her teeth at the sink. Her eyes lit up when she saw me, making me feel guilty for leaving her alone so often. She never complained, though. Not once.

She rinsed her mouth and then met me in the bedroom. She straddled my lap as I sat on the bed and gave me a minty fresh kiss. 

“Is there something you’d like to tell me?” I asked her as we caught our breath.

Her brows furrowed and she looked sufficiently confused. “Um, I don’t know. Is there?”

“How about the twenty-million-dollar contract you just signed?”

“Oh, that’s no big deal,” Bella shrugged.

“It seems like a big deal to me. Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“You’re busy. You don’t need me distracting you with things like a _Dior_ contract.”

“I know I haven’t been around much, but I do still want to know what’s going on with you, Bella.”

She gave me a little smirk and a kiss on my cheek. “We were about to come to a deal… before. Heidi stalled it until I was ready to comeback. It’s pretty simple, really. I wear their dresses to any events I go to, and I do a few photoshoots.”

“For twenty-million-dollars?” I asked.

“You don’t think I’m worth twenty-million-dollars?” she responded, a look of shock and hurt on her face. _Fuck_.

Then she laughed. “It is a ridiculous amount of money. It’s all about status and exposure.”

Later, when we were lying in bed I decided to ask what I had been wondering since I saw the news alert. “How much money do you have?”

“Not as much as you,” she smirked. She was in a playful mood tonight.

I smiled, because there were few people who had as much money as me.

“I don’t have an exact number. I have accountants that deal with it.” Ah, now the modesty. I did a little research before I left work and saw that Bella had been the highest paid actress in the world, two years in a row. “And since I haven’t been allowed to pay for anything in nearly six months I’m fairly comfortable, financially.”

Thankfully, after a few weeks on vacation she stopped trying to pay for things. It infuriated me to no end when she tried to sneak around and pay for a hotel room or our dinner. That was my job.

I stayed silent, because she still hadn’t given me a number. It didn’t matter, whatever it was. I was simply curious.

“If I had to estimate... I don’t know, maybe around… $200 million?”

Damn. That was more than I was expecting.

“I showed you mine, you show me yours,” Bella said, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Close to a billion, including all of my assets,” I told her. I had no qualms talking about my money.

“Jesus,” Bella muttered. “You should be buying me things more often, then.”  
She was joking, but I did go out and buy her a diamond necklace the next day. Just because.


	8. King of My Heart

_Is this the end of all the endings? My broken bones are mending with all these nights we’re spending. Up on the roof with a school girl crush, drinking beer out of plastic cups. Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff. Baby, all at once, this is enough. ~ Taylor Swift, King Of My Heart_

_..Sick.._

It was around two in the morning when I got home. My shirt was splattered with blood and my watch was cracked. I was tired and pissed, so I went right over to the bar when I walked in. I grabbed the bottle of scotch and started pouring.

I had spent the last month restoring our relationship with the Russians. They were pissed at Carlisle now, after a slew of lies he fed them while I was gone. There were dinners and underhanded deals to be made with them, and I needed them on my side for when I took out Volturi. It would happen, but it had to be meticulously planned. And the more people I had on my side, the less fallout when the deed was done.

Carlisle was still running hot and cold, which was fucking annoying. I hardly dealt with him anymore. If I had anything I needed from him, I told Emmett or Jasper to handle it.

Everyone aside from the Italian’s had been… welcoming since my return. When you were the top of the food-chain in the crime world, there was a lot of ass kissing thrown your way. I didn’t give a shit about any of them, but that didn’t matter. It was the principle of the thing.

Everyone knew I was about to take over. No one wanted on my bad side.

Tonight, for example, I was meeting with a new _client_. He wanted me to loan him some money to keep his bakery running. He was an old family acquaintance, and loans between our family friends were nothing uncommon. Then… then he told me he had asked Volturi first.

So, I shot him.

Just in the shin.

Fucking Volturi was getting too comfortable for my liking. Carlisle liked it too much, though.

We were stalled on the Carlisle issue. We needed him gone, of course, but we needed to do it gracefully. We couldn’t let people know just how fucked up our situation was. They would think we were weak and try and take over.

_Fuck, I’m exhausted._

I pinched the bridge of my nose and then heard a creak on the stairs. I looked up and Bella was walking toward me. She had on a cute little pair of reading glasses and was wearing one of my college t-shirts.

“You should go back to bed, Bella,” I sighed. I didn’t need her dealing with this shit.

“Are you okay?” she asked with a yawn.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” she said. She stumbled over to me and leaned on the bar across from me. I saw her eyes go wide as she saw the splatters of blood on my white shirt.

“It’s not mine.”

“Oh, good.”

I could see the guilt on her face when she realized she was glad someone else was injured or dead. It took a while to get used to this life. Bella grabbed the glass out of my hand and pulled me away from the bar.

“Bella, I have to –“

“You have to go to sleep. I haven’t seen you in… thirty-six hours. You haven’t slept in days,” she grumbled, pulling me toward the stairs. I stopped at the bottom with her a few steps above me. She stopped when my hand pulled her back. She looked down at me with a frown.

I was going to fight her and tell her I had work to do, but when she looked at me, worry evident all over her face, I gave in. The last month had been a change for us, going back to real life. I hadn’t seen her in days, hadn’t had a longer conversation with her than a _good morning_ in a week.

So, I followed her to our room and let her tug off all of my clothing.

“On your stomach,” she said, pointing to the bed. I did as I was told because I was too tired to do much else, no matter how much I wanted her. Then she was sitting on me and her hands pressed into the tense muscles of my back.

“I know you probably have more… qualified people to get your advice from, but I’m here. If you need me.”

I grabbed her hand as it wrapped around my shoulder and brought it to my lips. I pulled her forward so she laid her body along my back and her face was right next to mine.

“Thank you,” I told her. Because there are a lot of other ways tonight could have gone, had Bella been anyone else.

She could’ve run screaming at my bloody clothes.

Could’ve given me shit about not being more attentive to her the last month.

Questions could have been hurdled at me about why I was coming home at two in the morning smelling like a strip club.

But, I got none of that. I got a girl who was worried that I hadn’t slept in days and the best goddamn massage I’d ever had. It wasn’t because Bella was naïve, she just knew better than to ask questions she didn’t want the answer to. She didn’t want to know whose blood was on my shirt. She sure as hell knew she didn’t have to worry about the strip club scent because the thought of finding another woman even remotely attractive compared to her was comical.

We had spent months together, just the two of us. We knew we were solid and didn’t need the constant reassurance that the other wasn’t cheating or anything. Bella sure as hell had her options wide open, but just like me, she didn’t give a shit about them.

Had we not gone on that vacation, we wouldn’t be like this. Every conversation, every truth game we played during thunderstorms gave us the stability we needed now to survive.

I made a mental note to clear the afternoon tomorrow. I needed to buy a ring. 

.. _Sick_..

“Jessica! I told you I needed that information two hours ago. Where the fuck – “ I stormed out of my office, ready to finally strangle the incompetent girl that was my secretary. When I looked up I saw Bella standing at the reception desk, Ben behind her.

“What are you doing here?” I asked with a smile. I saw odd looks from everyone around us. For one, I never smiled at work. For another, most probably recognized Bella and wondered what the fuck she would be doing here. _Thank God for non-disclosure agreements._

“Thirty minutes and then I need those files,” I told Jessica as I walked past her toward Bella.

“I came to see you, I hope you don’t mind. I don’t have an appointment,” Bella said with a hint of guilt in her voice. I looked over at Catherine, the new receptionist that had been hired while I was away, and glared.

“She doesn’t need one,” I scolded.

“Of course, sir.”

I wrapped an arm around her waist and led her to my office. It was quite the juxtaposition, seeing Bella in my office. For so long she had been my little secret, and now she was here, looking around like she was at Disney World.

“What are you doing here?” I asked again.

She walked around the office, looking at the scarce pictures and such along the walls. She ran her fingers along my desk, saying something about it being beautiful, but all I could do was imagine how beautiful it would look with her bent over it.

So, with her pinned between me and the desk, I captured her lips and moaned when she glided her tongue alone mine. But then she pulled away, gasping for breath.

“This isn’t… I didn’t come here for this.”

I sighed, because I knew that she wouldn’t just drop by for sex, but I would have her over my desk one day.

Bella pulled a CD case out of her purse and handed it to me. I saw the words _Hopeless Kingdom_ written across the top. “I finished. I wanted you to be the first to listen. You don’t have to do it now, I know you’re busy. I just wanted you to have it.”

Her album. The thing she’s spent months recording, and even longer writing. Her deepest thoughts about everything that had happened to her since we met would be on here. Fuck.

“Let’s go.”

“What?”

I ignored her and grabbed my phone off of my desk. Everything else could wait. “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” she asked me, but I tugged her out of the office.

“I’ll be back tomorrow morning,” I told Jessica, and pulled Bella with me to the elevator. I nodded at Ben as we passed, and he took the stairs down to the car.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going now? I didn’t mean to take you from work, I just wanted to tell you –“

I cut her off with my lips because I was tired of the questions. Once we were in the garage I tossed her my keys. “You drive.”

“Me?”

“I’ll need to focus on this,” I held up the CD case. “I’ll tell you where to go, just get in.”

Once we were in the car Bella hesitated. She carefully adjusted the seat and her mirrors, and I heard her mummer something about the car being ‘expensive as hell.’ She was too damn cute. “You’ll be fine. _Drive_.”

I waited until we were out in the middle of nowhere to start the album. I closed my eyes and instructed Bella to simply drive along the open road. It all played in my head as I listened. Bella was brutally honest in her lyrics, and I devoured every word. There were all of these little pieces to the puzzle of our relationship hidden in them. I could easily see how she fit the songs together to form her film.

_I don’t let him touch me anymore. I said, ‘I’m not something to butter up and taste when you get bored.’_ Damn right, baby. No one but me touches you now.

_Said, ‘This ain’t what you usually do,’ and a girl like me is new for you._ Yes, you were. But you’re the best goddamn thing I’ve ever done.

_I watch you devour, mistake me for bread. Well boy, is you fed? Or are you misled? I gave you the messiest head, you give me the messiest head. Oh, you’re turnin’ red._ Bella turned red when that one played. Personally, I loved the thought of people knowing I gave Bella the ‘messiest head’ because no one else ever would.

The last one on the album… that was the hardest to listen to.

_‘Cause you know the truth hurts, but secrets kill. Can’t help thinking that I love it still. Still here, there must be something real. ‘Cause you know the good die young, but so did this. And so, it must be better than I think it is. Gimme those eyes, it’s easy to forgive._

It wasn’t easy to forgive. She never should have forgiven me for the hurt I caused her. But she did anyway, a long time ago. I never forgave myself but hearing her finally move on from the shooting made me think I should. 

It was a good thing I didn’t have her engagement ring with me. If I did, I would have asked her to marry me right there, on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere.

.. _Sick_..

A week ago, Bella told me she didn’t want to do anything for her birthday. She didn’t want any gifts, and she most definitely didn’t want a party. That was okay, because I had a much better kind of surprise in store for her.

Right now, she was at work, probably praying no one there brought out a cake and sang to her. She would be home within an hour, though. So, I straightened my suit and went to the guest closet where I stored her presents. I laid the deep red dress on our bed and placed the box of shoes on the floor. I told Alice to pick something out for her, but she just thought I was taking her to dinner.

I wrote her a note, telling her about her dress and when Ben would bring her to me. Then I left and drove myself over to the hotel where I first laid eyes on her.

It wasn’t one of mine, but it was a nice place downtown. I had rented out the ballroom for the evening, even though we would only use it for a short while. I just needed one word from her.

_Yes_.

I met with the manager who assured me that as soon as Bella arrived the lobby would be cleared for a few minutes. It wasn’t my hotel, but money talked. I double checked on the ballroom and saw the floor covered in rose petals and the single table in the center.

Bella didn’t care about grand gestures. She didn’t need rose petals and diamonds, but that would never stop me from giving them to her. Out of all of the ideas I had, this one was the tamest. I would have flown her to Paris for the weekend and proposed to her on top of the Eiffel Tower if I thought she would like it.

But she didn’t need that, and neither did I. We just needed each other.

I got a text from Ben when they arrived and went to the room, just off of the ballroom, to wait for her. I left her alone for a few minutes, hoping she would be sitting at the table when I arrived, just like the first time.

Fuck, if I knew what she would become that night I probably would have turned around and ran. But now, I had no fear. I wasn’t nervous, I knew she would say yes. I had never been as sure about anything as I was about Isabella Swan being mine.

I made my way to the ballroom and looked at her through the window in the door. She was stunning in her red dress as she looked around the room.

Her head snapped to me as I walked in. I smiled at her, because I was helpless against her.

“You look beautiful,” I told her, sitting next to her.

Bella blushed and played with the hem of her dress at her thighs. “Thank you for the dress.”

I grabbed her hands and squeezed, hoping that when I did that in a few minutes there would be a ring on her left hand. “I’d give you anything you could ever want.”

She smiled at me and it was like I had won the goddamn lottery.

“I knew you wouldn’t like your birthday. I know your upbringing wasn’t great, and I know it’s even harder to think about now. But, to me, today is the most important day of the year. I couldn’t let it go by without celebrating. I was hoping I could erase all of the bad memories, and maybe make a few better ones.”

I squeezed her hands and pushed my chair back, falling to one knee.

Bella’s face went blank for a moment, and then she understood what was happening. Her eyes went wide, her mouth popped open, and her hands had mine in a death-like grip. _Just say yes, baby. That’s all you have to do_.

“I love you. I love your drive and passion, and I love the way your nose scrunches up when you laugh. I could list a thousand things I love about you, but I know you’d hate it. Just know that no one has ever loved anyone as completely as I love you, Bella Swan,” I told her, and I could see the tears starting to form in her eyes. I set her hands on her lap and pulled the ring box out of my pocket.

“Will you marry me?”

I opened the box, but she never looked down. She stared at me for a minute, and even though I wasn’t nervous before it was torture to wait for her to respond. Then… then I got the word I had been hoping for.

“ _Yes_.”

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I should’ve slid the ring on her finger, but I wrapped her in my arms instead. She fit there so perfectly, her head on my shoulder and her arms around my neck.

When we pulled away I wiped away the tears that spilled out of her eyes. Bella looked up at me with those big, brown doe eyes and I had to kiss her, had to feel her lips under mine.

“Oh, my God,” she mumbled.

I picked up the discarded ring box and pulled it out. Bella’s hand was shaking as I slid it on her finger.

“Wow,” she whispered.

I had given her jewelry before, and she was always appreciative, but never like this. She was never so in awe.

“I love you,” I told her, leaning my forehead against hers.

“Wow,” she repeated, looking up at me like I held the answers to the universe.

Her shock was endearing. I lifted her in my arms, bridal style, and carried her out of the ballroom.

“I can walk!” she told me but wrapped her arms around my neck at the same time.

I carried her out to the waiting car. I sat in the back with her as Ben drove us home. Bella’s eyes would go from her ring to me, and then back again. Her smile never faltered until a look of fierce determination replaced it. Then she was straddling me, her tongue invading my mouth.

My hands went to her hips to steady her in the moving car, but with every small bump we hit Bella’s pussy was pressed against my cock.

I only had so much self-control.

One of my hands left her hip to travel up her thigh until I hit soft, lacy panties. I pushed them aside and easily slid two fingers inside her.

Bella let out a low moan and tore her lips from mine. “I can’t wait to be your wife.”

My wife. Bella Cullen. “Fuck.” I kissed my way down her chin, along her neck, and up to her ear. “Ride my fingers, baby.”

Her hips started to roll over my fingers, her juices dripping down my hand. She buried her head in my neck and one arm went down the neck of my shirt and gripped the skin of my back.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Bella whispered over and over again. She bit down on my neck as she came around my fingers, muffling the loud moan, but just barely.

There was no way Ben didn’t know what was going on here, but if he valued his life, which he did, he would keep his mouth shut.

Bella was still panting into my neck as Ben parked the car. I withdrew my fingers quickly and made sure Bella was somewhat presentable as he opened the door. She seemed to suddenly realize where she was and what happened because a deep blush colored her cheeks. There were also some muffled curses thrown out of her mouth.

I had her backed into the corner of the elevator as it slowly made its way to the penthouse. This woman, my fiancée, was trying to kill me as she grabbed my cock through my slacks. I bit her lip in response and got a satisfying squeak from her.

I lifted her and had her wrap her legs around my waist to carry her upstairs. Bella didn’t waste any time and started to unbutton my shirt on the way.

Once she was on her feet in our bedroom she started tearing at my clothing. My suit jacket was thrown aside, and my button-down discarded without a second thought. Bella’s lips were at my chest as she reached for my belt, then her hand started to shake.

Not her left one, and not out of excitement like it did earlier. It was her right hand, the one that got tremors because of the nerve damage in her shoulder. I grabbed her hand in mine, intertwining our fingers and squeezing. The pressure sometimes helped, but all she could really do was wait it out. She didn’t let the tremor stop her, though. She managed to get the rest of my clothing off with one hand.

It was my turn, then. I stood behind Bella and slowly slid the zipper of her dress down, enjoying every new inch of skin revealed to me. Once I had her dress tossed out of the way I pulled her back to my front. With my hands splayed out across her toned abdomen, my lips loved on the delicate curve of her neck.

“Thank you for agreeing to be my wife,” I whispered to her, feeling goose bumps pop up along her skin. My hands trailed up and cupped her breasts, squeezing and rolling her nipples between my fingers.

I slid my hands down her body, hooking them in her final piece of clothing. A pair of black, lacy panties. With them out of the way, I gently pushed Bella back until she laid on the bed.

She stretched out, and I groaned at the sight. “You’re so goddamn gorgeous.”

I pulled her to the edge and her legs spread apart, one on either side of me as I stood in front of her. Like a moth to a flame my fingers sought out her wet pussy, enjoying the little mewls that escaped Bella as I played with her. 

“ _Edward_ ,” Bella’s hands reached for mine. I intertwined our fingers and pressed both of her hands into the mattress beside her as I slid inside her slick heat.

“Fucking perfect. Every time,” I grunted out, unable to do anything other than pound her into the bed. Leaning down, I kissed every inch of flesh in front of me. Every moan went directly to my cock, and every time I squeezed her hands I felt the band of her engagement ring against my fingers.

“Isabella Cullen,” I whispered to her. “You’ll be Isabella Cullen.”

 _Damn_ , that has a nice ring to it.

I could feel her walls start to pulsate around my cock. I gripped her hips harder and lifted her a little bit, hitting the spot that I knew would make her scream. Her entire body arched and shook and tensed as we both lost ourselves in the pleasure.

When I could finally see straight again I looked down and saw Bella still shaking in the after effects of her orgasm. I ran a hand along her side, hoping to comfort her and calm her down, but it only increased the shivers.

I grabbed her favorite blanket from the ground and wrapped it around her. When we were both situated comfortably on the bed Bella sighed, “I love you,” before she drifted off.

The next morning, after a night with more time spent inside Bella than asleep, I could tell she was already awake next to me. I peeked a look down at her and saw her staring at her ring. She twisted her hand in every direction, looking at it from every angle.

I couldn’t blame her, it was a beautiful piece of jewelry. It should be, because it cost nearly five million dollars. But it was worth every fucking scent for that smile on her face.

“Do you like it?” I asked her, rolling over to feel her perfect body underneath mine.

“I love it,” Bella said. She placed her left hand on my chest, but I was pretty sure it was just to get another look at the ring. 

_..Sick.._

That night, we told my family of our engagement. There was no use in trying to hide it, considering Bella was adamant on a quick, small wedding. Esme would be pissed and Carlisle would want to invite half of the city, for appearances sake, but their opinions didn’t matter. If she wanted a small wedding, I would give it to her.

Esme’s happiness was obviously forced throughout the night. I caught her glancing in Bella’s direction multiple times, her eyes either on the ring or the tattoos that covered her arms. She was still adamant that Bella was no good. All of her excuses were flimsy; she’ll bring too much attention to the family, she just needed someone rich so she could stop working... Ironically, the last one was similar to what Renee accused Bella of as well.

Esme was a loving mother when we grew up, but she was also a classic mob wife. She turned a blind eye when Carlisle came home with bloody money, and had no problem spending it every day.

I had no desire for a woman like that. It was what I would have ended up with, had I never met Bella. Esme would have worn me down and I would’ve married Tanya or Irina, but it wouldn’t have been a marriage. With Bella, I’ll have a marriage; a wife I love and a life with her.

So, I let Carlisle and Esme’s glares and snide remarks slide for the night. Because by the time dinner was over it was decided that Bella and I would get married on New Year’s Eve, three months from now.

With everyone else having left hours ago, Emmet, Jasper and I were locked in my office going over the plans for the Los Angeles branch of California International. Aro had recently moved something to a safety deposit box there, the most secure bank in the country. He snuck around to do it, he went completely out of his way to make sure no one knew about it.

I knew, though. I knew everything.

“It’s fucking impossible, man. To get access to the boxes during business hours they have a retinal scan and a fingerprint verification process. Breaking in would be suicide. It’s the most secure bank in the country,” Jasper said, staring at the blueprints on the desk.

There was always a way around the security. We just had to find the weakness.

There was a knock at the door and I smiled. If I was in my office at home, Bella always came to say goodnight before she went to bed.

“Everything okay?” I asked her, carefully covering up some of the papers on the desk. The last thing I needed was for her to worry about a bank robbery.

“I just wanted to say goodnight,” she said with a sweet smile. _I’m the luckiest bastard alive._ Bella was the perfect mix of sweet and innocent, with a dirty side only I got to see.

I got a quick kiss from her, but then she saw the desk. “Are you robbing my bank?”

Her bank? Shit.

“What do you have there?”

“I have a few safety deposit boxes. It’s supposed to be one of the most secure banks in the world. _Please_ don’t get arrested robbing a bank.”

Fucking hell.

“You have safety deposit boxes there? Shit, that makes it almost too easy!” Jasper shouted. _No_.

“You went through the whole fingerprint and retinal scan process?” Emmett asked her.

“Yeah, it’s how I get to the boxes.”

“Shit, we have a way better chance at hacking the system and adding her name to the box than adding us into the system.”

Bella turned her back to them and leaned on the edge of my desk. With her arms crossed over her chest, she asked what we were trying to get.

“Aro just moved something in there. I don’t know what it is, but I want it. You’re not doing anything, though.” My decision was final. There was no way I would ever let her do something like that. I gave her the look I knew finished any conversation. Of course, she ignored it.

“What would I have to do?”

Jasper, the fucker, answered her. “All you would have to do is go in and say you want to empty one of your boxes. It’s box 1290C. I can get into the system and assign that box under your name. They already have your security information online. Just go in like you were checking any of your other boxes.”

“You’re not doing it, Bella. It’s illegal. Go to bed, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

She sighed which I took to mean she dropped the idea. I got a kiss to the top of my head and a light tug on my hair that she knew I loved. Once she was gone I turned back to Emmett and Jasper.

“She’s not doing it. We’re not discussing this with her again, understood?”

My glare worked on them. Bella was the only one who ever ignored it.

_..Sick.._

“Damn, this is pretty cool,” Emmett said, holding the Grammy in his beefy hands. Bella sent me home with them after I visited her in Los Angeles. I had them sitting in my home office for now. I would let her decide where to keep them until we moved into the new house after our wedding.

“She’s got a lot of these fancy things, huh?” Jasper asked, turning over another award in his hands.

They had booth been with me, constantly, all day. It was infuriating. They had no reason to bug me, and I knew they had just as much work to do as I did. It was as if their goal for the day was to drive me to shoot one of them.

“Yes, she does.”

“She’s like, one of the biggest celebrities in the world,” Emmett said, as if he was only now realizing this.

“Yes, she is.”

“Is she, what are those people called? The ones that have an award for everything?”

“Oh! A goat! Is she a goat?” Jasper asked.

“It’s not a fucking goat! Why would they call it that?”

“Good God would you two just leave?” I shouted. “It’s a fucking EGOT. She doesn’t have a Tony, though.”

“You sure knew that fast. Do you know everything about Hollywood these days?” Emmett snickered.

Emmett. I would shoot Emmett first.

I looked at the clock on my desk, both disappointed I didn’t have time to shoot Emmett before Bella got here, and glad that she should be here any minute.

I got up to go downstairs and of course they both followed.

“Get the fuck out. Why are you both still here? Bella’s going to be here soon and I don’t want – “

There she was, though. Standing in the middle of the living room looking good enough to eat.

“Hey,” she said with a smile, but there was something slightly off about it.

I ignored it though, and the two idiots behind me as I kissed her with the pent-up passion a week-long separation brought. Bella frowned at me as we pulled apart, though, and pulled a manila envelope out of her purse.

“What is this?” I asked, opening the envelope. Inside was a picture, a woman placing what looked like a child in a trash can. I knew immediately what it was. 

“Safety deposit box 1290C at California International.”

“Shit. _Shit, Bella_.”

I tossed the file on the table because I didn’t care about it anymore. Pulling at my hair, every possible scenario ran through my mind. Bella getting arrested at the bank because they knew that wasn’t her box. Bella getting caught with stolen property. Bella going to prison.

“Do you know how fucking stupid that was? It was illegal, for one. If anyone found out you could be arrested.”

“You do things that could get you arrested all the time,” she said, her voice small.

“What on earth makes you think that’s an okay excuse? I’m not taking those kinds of risks with you.”

_Jesus_. Bella was a smart girl. She didn’t go to college but she had the life experience that gave her wisdom and knowledge. But this was just fucking stupid.

“We wiped all traces of her there, Edward. Security camera’s, online files, she’s clean,” Jasper said.

That fucker. He knew. Emmett probably knew, too. I turned to them both, barely able to contain my anger. “You put my fiancé in an inconceivable amount of danger. If you go behind my back again I will kill you.”

It wasn’t an empty threat, and they knew it. I would take out anyone who so much as looked at her wrong.

“We did what we had to do, Edward. We needed to see what was in the box. You’re ignoring the fact that everything went fine. Now we need to figure out what the fuck this picture means,” Emmett said, holding up the photo.

I ignored him. “Get out.”

“It’s me,” Bella whispered.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, repeating over and over that I couldn’t kill Emmett and Jasper in front of Bella.

Bella talked to them for a few minutes, explaining her history with Charlie and Renee. But when I heard Emmett shift the conversation to Volturi and his motives I snapped.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” I shouted. I wasn’t ignored this time.

I turned my back to Bella, not wanting to take too much of my anger out on her.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you, but I’m not sorry I did what I did, Edward.” _Fuck, you should be, baby. You could’ve destroyed yourself._ “He took everything from me, Edward. If you’re taking him down, I want in.”

She had just as much reason to hate Volturi as I did, if not more. But this wasn’t happening. “You’re not _in_ anything, Bella. You’re not pulling another stunt like that again, do you understand?”

“I won’t go behind your back again, I promise.”

She was telling the truth, but it wasn’t the truth I wanted to hear. I couldn’t blame her for wanting revenge on Volturi. I wanted it too, but I had to be smart about it. Bella just saw an opportunity to do what little she could in the situation.

Emmett and Jasper were the ones to blame. They knew the risks they were taking with her. They would never let Alice or Rose do something like this. Granted, Alice and Rose would never offer, but still.

Bella wasn’t one to be taken advantage of, though. She knew what she was doing. As much as I hated to admit it, the thought of her pulling off something so big made me pretty fucking proud of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The little song snippets are from 100 Letters, Heaven In Hiding, Lie, and Hopeless by Halsey.


	9. Dress

_Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me. Flashback to my mistakes. My rebounds, my earthquakes. Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me. And I woke up just in time, now I wake up by your side. My one and only, my lifeline. ~ Taylor Swift, Dress_

_..Sick.._

Luka Petrov was a vile man. He had my respect because he was able to take over two lesser, but still impressive, Russian crime families in Chicago in his thirties. He was nearing sixty now, but he was still as ruthless as ever.

I rarely brought my business home with me, especially now that Bella was living here, but Luka called earlier and wanted to meet somewhere. Private.

“Your father is making a bit of a mess, Edward,” he told me as he sat across from me in my home office. He had been in America since he was a teenager, but his Russian accent was as thick as ever.

It was nearing midnight, but tonight was Bella’s last night of shooting. She told me it all depended on how things went, when she would be home. I was hoping to get rid of Petrov before she got here.

“I know. I’m working on it,” I said. I didn’t like that other people were noticing Carlisle’s sloppiness. The Cullen’s had a reputation to uphold.

“You shouldn’t have gone away for so long. Chicago needed you.”

Carlisle needed me, and subsequently Chicago because we ran the fucking town. Everyone was scared of the criminals that roamed the city, but the place would be in shambles without us. We may be criminals, but we kept the town running. We funded organizations to keep up appearances as good members of society. Hell, the police department would be severely underfunded if it weren’t for us.

“I needed a break. I’ve got a good handle on things, now.”

“Yes, you do. And that brings us to the reason for my visit. There are some in this city that believe the Cullen’s reign is coming to an end. They are eager to replace you.”

There was always someone that thought that. No one could overthrow us though. At least, they couldn’t before. We were weaker now, but still stronger than most.

“I have no desire to be in your position. I like the size of my empire. I value our friendship, business and personal. This will be my only warning to you.”

It wasn’t anything I didn’t already know. The Volturi’s were constantly at our throats, but this was our only time of unease. The only time we could be weak enough for them to strike. Petrov’s warning was a good sign though. We had the Russian’s on our side.

“Thank you, Luka.”

“Edward?”

Bella walked into the office, a smile on her face until she saw the man sitting across from me. I couldn’t fault her for just walking in here, she had no reason to think someone else would be in here with me.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll just…” She turned to leave, but it was too late.

“Isabella, this is Luka Petrov. Luka, this is my fiancée, Isabella Swan.”

I stood and walked over to Bella, grabbing her hand and giving her a comforting squeeze. _Please, just play along, baby_.

Luka stood and held his hand out to her. Bella shook it and I could see the strong grip she had on his hand. _That’s my girl_.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Petrov,” she said, annunciating his name with a perfect Russian accent.

“You speak Russian?” he asked.

“Oh, no. I just had to learn a Russian accent a few years ago. It stuck,” she said with a polite smile.

“Ah, you are the actress, correct?”

I tensed and gripped Bella’s waist a little too hard. I trusted Petrov, but not completely. I could trust no one outside of my family.

“Yes.”

“My daughter is quite a fan of yours. She had me bribe a radio station a year ago so she could see you.” Bribe was probably a tame version of what really happened. Blackmail or threaten would be more Petrov’s style.

Bella didn’t bat an eyelash, though. She smiled politely. “Please tell her I said hello, then.”

“It will be the highlight of her week. I’ll leave you two alone. Remember what I said, Edward.”

I left Bella in my office and walked Petrov out. We said nothing as the elevator doors closed. When I got back to my office Bella was gone, so I headed to the bedroom. She was sitting on the bed, taking her shoes off and mumbling to herself.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” _No, you’re not._

“Bella.”

“I just…” she fumbled with her hands in her lap and never met my eyes as I walked over to her. “I don’t think about it a lot. What you do.”

_What I do_. That was a loaded statement.

“I’m good at avoiding things I don’t want to think about. I just… I never see _that_ Edward. I only see the one that sends me flowers once a week and the one that kisses my forehead before he falls asleep every night.” She shrugged. “Then, sometimes I realize who you really are. I just get confused.”

“I don’t want you to be scared of me. You have nothing to be scared of.”

She shook her head, her eyes wide as they finally met mine. “I’m not scared of you. I’m scared of _me_.” Bella took a deep breath before continuing. “I love you. I love you with everything I have and, to me, you’re a good man. A great man. But I know there are a lot of people out there that will say otherwise.”

“There are, but those people don’t know all of the facts. What does your heart, your gut tell you?”

“That you love me and that I can’t wait to be your wife.”

“Then fuck what everyone else will say. Once the world knows were together, there will be people who start talking about my… reputation. But, they don’t matter. You and me. We’re the only ones whose opinions matter in this relationship. Okay?”

I finally got a smile from her. “Okay.”

_..Sick.._

“Have you gotten your dress, yet?” I asked Bella through a yawn. I had been working non-stop in the weeks leading up to the wedding, because I had three days off in the days following. A rarity when I had just had six months off.

It was about two in the morning, so that meant we were now five days away from our wedding. Five days until Isabella Swan became Isabella Cullen.

“Yes. I have my last fitting tomorrow afternoon,” she told me. She was guarded, though. What about her dress would put her on edge?

_Shit_. “Did you put everything for the wedding on the credit card I gave you? Including your dress?”

“No.”

“Damnit, Bella. Why not?” I rolled over onto my back and scrubbed my face with my hands. This money thing was getting exhausting. I didn’t see the issue with her just using mine.

“Because I can buy my own wedding dress, Edward.”

“But you don’t have to.”

“Why are you so against me buying things for myself?” she asked, her anger making her voice rise with every word.

“Because you’ve had to take care of everyone in your life since you were seventeen! Just let me take care of you for once, Bella!” I shouted. I was tired of having this discussion over and over.

Bella was silent for a few moments, then her arms wrapped around my neck and she held on to me like she was drowning. “I love you,” she whispered.

I sighed and replied the same.

“I’ll use your card from now on,” she mumbled into my neck.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Always,” I told her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “How much did you spend?”

“I only paid for the dress, I promise.”

“How much?”

“$17,000.”

I nodded and dropped the subject. I would buy her something to make up for it.

I started making up for it a few hours later. Bella still had a few hours to sleep, but I had gone over a week without doing more than kissing her so I had no qualms about waking her early. She wore more clothing to bed last night than she usually did. She was still asleep, but as I pushed her t-shirt up and over her breasts she started to stir. As soon as my lips were wrapped around a taut nipple she was fully awake, but her eyes stayed squeezed shut.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” I mumbled into her skin, kissing and biting my way down her stomach. When my fingers hooked into the tiny shorts she was wearing, she tensed up.

“S-stop!”

I froze and looked up at her. “What’s wrong?”

“We, we can’t have sex,” she said, pulling her shirt back down and scooting away from me.

“Why not?” I asked, trying not to sound like a petulant child. My favorite toy had just gotten taken away from me, though.

“It’s what people do. They don’t have sex before they get married, then the wedding night is more exciting.”

I sat back and stared at her like she had lost her mind. Because she had. “No sex?” I asked again, because I had to be sure I was understanding correctly.

“No sex,” she repeated. The alarm went off then and she mumbled something about being saved by the bell. “You should get in the shower. You’re going to be late.”

I did get in the shower then. A cold one. Because I had to go five more days without her on top of the seven… eight I had already gone.

“I just don’t get it, Bella,” I told her as I walked out of the closet, unfortunately completely dressed. She was sitting on the bed, also covered in too many clothes.

“It’ll make our wedding night more fun.”

“I should’ve been told about this in advance. Last night would have gone a lot differently.” Not only would I have cleared my entire fucking day for her, but I would’ve had time to talk her out of the rule if she had told me earlier. “We’ve had sex before, Bella. Lots of sex. Great sex. Why do we have to deprive ourselves?”

I wasn’t above begging, if I thought it would work. She had already made up her mind though. There was no changing it.

Bella walked over and for a moment I thought she was going to slide my jacket off of me, but she just smoothed it down my chest. I sighed and got a soft, pity kiss. I turned the pity kiss into a passionate one, sliding my tongue over hers and into her mouth, mimicking what I would have done to her pussy this morning if she had let me.

“You’re cute when you whine.”

Bella pulled me by my jacket toward the bed. When she pushed me to sit on the edge I smirked up at her, thinking I had won her over. But then she dropped to her knees in front of me.

“This is the last time I’m touching you until Saturday, so you better enjoy it,” she said while she pulled my hardening cock out of my slacks.

I leaned back on one hand and used the other to push her hair out of her face as she sucked on the tip of my cock. She was frustratingly slow, taking languid licks from base to tip, and never taking more than an inch or so in her mouth.

It was enough to drive me mad. “Goddamn perfect fucking mouth… _More_ , Bella.”

She didn’t give me more, though. She looked up at me and fucking smirked with my cock in her mouth. “Jesus, suck my fucking cock, Bella.”

That was all it took. She slid her mouth down my shaft, taking more in than she usually did. I could feel her throat constrict around my cock and groaned as she increased her suction.

I was tired of the teasing, so I grabbed a fistful of her hair and started guiding her movements as I thrusted into her mouth.

“Stupid fucking rule,” I mumbled as I watched her lips glide over me. I wanted nothing more than to pick her up and throw her on the bed. I could make her change her mind, tease it out of her. But if she wanted a sex hiatus, I would give it to her. After this, of course.

“ _Fuck_ , baby,” I gripped her hair a little tighter and got her just a little farther down on my cock before I came down her throat. Nothing compared to coming in her pussy, but her throat was a close second.

I was still panting as she took a final lick and tucked my cock back in my pants. “You’re going to be late for work.”

_Stupid fucking rule._

_..Sick.._

“Never thought I’d see the day when you got married, bro,” Emmett said, throwing his cards down in defeat.

We had a private room at Jasper’s casino and I was already up half a million dollars, which was why Jasper always told me to stay away from his place.

“Never thought I’d see the day when Jasper let me back in here,” I replied. The last time I was here I won close to three million.

“This is the last fucking time, I swear. You’re not even cheating,” he grumbled.

“Seriously man, I’m happy for you. Bella’s great.”

“Yes, she is.” _She’s fucking spectacular_.

“Is it weird?” Jasper asked.

“Is what weird?”

“Being with her. I mean, being with the girl that’s on the television screen, the girl that goes on stage in front of thousands of people… it just seems weird.”

“She’s not the girl on stage, or the girl on the television to me. She’s just Bella.”

They both nodded.

“Besides, I get to take home the girl literally every man in the country wants,” I shrugged. There was nothing weird about that. “But she’s… shit she’s amazing. I came home with blood stains and smelling like a strip club a while ago and she didn’t say anything about it. She asked if I was okay and gave me a massage.”

“Damn. Rosalie freaked when she saw a little blood splatter on my shirt for the first time. I definitely didn’t get a damn massage for it,” Emmett said, shaking his head. “You think mom and dad will behave at the wedding?”

“Esme would never cause a scene, no matter how small the function was,” I rolled my eyes. I threw back the last of my drink. “I’m out.” I finished my hand and grabbed at my winnings. Poker got boring with Emmett and Jasper pretty quickly considering they sucked at it.

“He just wants to go home and take the girl every guy in the country wants,” Emmett giggled. Yes, giggled. Rum turned him into a teenage girl.

“I wish,” I muttered as we walked back the waiting car. “I’m on a sex embargo.”

“What’s the hurry, then?”

“I’m not going to leave her stranded with the women in this family for too long. Esme hates her but acts perfectly polite to her, but it’s all fucking fake. And Alice and Rose constantly make her feel like she’s got to do all of this other, unimportant shit.”

They nodded, because they knew Bella wasn’t like their wives. She had a job other than throwing a fucking party now and then.

I leaned my head back on the seat as we were driven home, picturing the pretty little brunette that would be waiting for me. When we got there, I bypassed everyone else in the room and went straight for Bella, scooping her up in my arms. She giggled and I palmed her ass as I carried her upstairs.

Once she was on her feet she left me standing there and headed straight for the closet. Probably for those fucking pajamas.

Hated pajamas.

Preferred Bella naked. Whenever possible.

I laid down in the middle of the bed and stared at the ceiling.

“How was your night?” _It would be better if you dropped the sex embargo_.

“It was good. I won about a million dollars.”

Bella exited the closet, those goddamn pajama pants in her hands. “You won a million dollars? Doing what?”

I shrugged. It wasn’t anything too exciting, the million dollars. “Playing poker. I’m very good,” I smirked at her, hoping it would lure her over to me.

It didn’t, because she just leaned against the door of the closet. “And what are you going to do with your winnings?”

“Hmm,” I eyed her up and down, imagining every possible way I could have her. I could tie her up again, because she fucking loved it both times I did. I could take her in the shower, or I could have her come to me and ride my cock. “I will buy you anything in the world you could possibly want if you come over here and sit on my cock.”

Bella shrugged her shoulders with a smirk. “You’ll already buy me anything I want.”

She fucking had me there. I groaned and rolled over onto my stomach. “That’s true.”

I laid out on the bed, deciding that if I couldn’t have her I might as well get some sleep. But then Bella came back and started removing my clothes. The small logical part of my brain knew it was just so I would be more comfortable, but the drunk and hazy part of my brain told her that I wanted to eat her out.

Bella got me situated behind her. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her as close as I could get.

_..Sick.._

Earlier in the day I dropped off our things at the hotel suite. I had packed a bag for Bella and I, just toiletries and a change of clothes. She wouldn’t be needing much clothing for the next day or so.

Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle were at my penthouse when I got back, all lounging in my living room and drinking my liquor. I ignored them all and went to get ready. _I was getting married today._

I never wanted marriage. Never wanted to be tied down to one woman, and always assumed that when I did give in I would probably always have someone on the side too. The thought of that kind of life now was revolting.

My everyday life was hard. It was dark and dirty and dangerous. My life at home with Bella was the complete opposite. She was everything I never knew I needed. She was the sunshine after the storm I had to face every day.

I shook my head as I straightened my bow tie. I would have killed myself for the sappy thoughts two years ago. I had heard the rumblings throughout the crime world, all saying a woman had gotten me to go soft. I was only soft with her, though. I had no issue planning to take out a few of Volturi’s lower level men later next week.

There was a knock at the door as I fastened my cufflinks, and Carlisle entered. He looked at me for a moment before asking, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I replied without hesitation. If there was one thing I was sure about, it was Bella Swan, soon to be Cullen.

I didn’t give him the chance to ask more questions. It was time to go.

I went downstairs and grabbed my keys.

“Hey, where are you going?” Emmett asked, following me to the elevator.

“To my wedding,” I told him.

“You’re not running away?”

“Yes, I got dressed and then decided to run away in my wedding tuxedo.”

“I just expected us to have to talk you down at some point today. You’re really fine?”

“Why does everyone keep expecting me to run away?” I had never expressed any doubts about the wedding, or Bella.

“Because two years ago you spent two nights a week in a strip club, high as a fucking kite, telling me that you would never settle for one woman.”

I cringed, because that was true. It was two years ago, though. A lot has changed. “Yes, and two years ago Rosalie was just the woman you stalked at a Starbucks.”

Once I was peacefully alone in my Aston Martin I sped off to my parents house. It seemed a bit ridiculous to have an outdoor wedding in December in Chicago, but apparently there were heaters everywhere. The sooner we could leave the reception the better. Maybe we could use the cold as an excuse.

I parked in front of my parents’ home and smiled at the white flowers that lined the walkway. An annoying tapping caught my attention and I looked around until my eyes landed on Bella in a window. It looked like she was still in a robe, but she smiled and waved at me. I returned them both, but then she got pulled away, most likely being scolded by one of the women in the room.

A majority of the guests were already here. Most were family, but Bella also had a few friends here as well. I stopped and talked to Alison and Austin, and their parents. I got a stern ‘take care of her’ from Elliot, and I appreciated his protectiveness of Bella.

I saw a blonde woman across the room and recognized her from the pictures I saw in Bella’s home in Forks. _Jane_. I didn’t approach her, because any reminder of that trip would dampen my mood. I had no doubt in my mind that Jane would be a mini Renee. Bella told me she wasn’t as bad as Renee, but they were never especially close.

At ten till five I was standing at the end of the aisle, Emmett by my side. I checked my watch ten times between then and when the music finally started playing.

Then she was there. Walking toward me on Charlie’s arm. I tried to memorize every detail about her, but her face distracted me, her giant smile was too beautiful to look away from.

Charlie gave me her hand, which was shaking slightly. I only paid enough attention to what the priest said so I knew when to say what. Other than that, I focused on the slight tremble of Bella’s lower lip, and the way those little sleeves of hers blew in the wind.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

I had her lips on mine before he finished. I managed to keep it chaste somehow. All I wanted to do was ravish her, but I would have time for that later.

“I love you, Mrs. Cullen.”

With my words tears started to steadily fall down her cheeks. She hid her face in my neck before we had to go back down the aisle. Once I had her hidden away in my room I finally got her in my arms. Her giggle as I spun her around made my chest clench. When I set her down I lifted her arm to help her twirl and got a good look at her dress.

“You are absolutely stunning,” I told her, tracing the fabric along her waist.

“You have to say that because you’re my husband,” Bella replied with a smile.

“Damn right I am,” I told her, grabbing her face and kissing her like I wanted to earlier. I got lost in her lips and the next thing I knew Emmett was pounding on the door.

As much as I wanted to hide away with her up here, I wrapped an arm around my wife’s waist and walked her downstairs.

I was uninterested in making small talk with family members that only came because they felt obligated to, so I focused on Bella. I watched her interact with her friends, the smile never leaving her face. She was sitting with Kate at her table, talking with her animatedly while I sat at ours and waited for an opening to steal her again. Then Charlie sat next to me.

“I know.”

“What do you know?”

“That you’re the second in command of the largest crime family in this city.”

I didn’t respond. I didn’t care that he knew.

“Does Bella know?”

Again, I didn’t respond. I took a sip of my drink and chuckled as Bella nearly spilled a glass of water at her table.

“When she was shot, that was because of you.”

I stood then, because I wouldn’t have this man ruin my night.

“Your daughter is happy, _truly_ happy for once. You’ve got a chance to rebuild your relationship based on the truth. Don’t ruin it.”

It was hours later when Bella and I had another moment to sit together. I saw her talking with Charlie not long after our conversation, but her smile never faltered. She grabbed my wrist and looked at my watch.

“How much longer do we have to stay?” _Not long at all, baby._

I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the house. All of our things were at the hotel, all we had to do was get in the car and drive. We left everyone behind without a second thought and finally started our own, personal celebration.

.. _Sick_..

My wife… my wife was a hellion. We had been married approximately eighteen hours and they had been the best eighteen hours of my life. Mainly because we spent them completely naked. Once we took off our wedding attire no other clothing was ever put back on.

Bella was currently sitting on the bench in the marble shower with my cock in her mouth but refused to give me what I wanted. I was pretty sure it was payback for a prolonged orgasm from hours earlier. But it was one hell of a payback.

“Fucking hell, Bella,” I grunted when I couldn’t take it anymore. I took a step back from her and she smirked up at me. _Like I said; hellion._

I pulled her up and pressed her up against the marble. “Do you like driving me insane?” I mumbled against her lips.

“Yes,” Bella said as I lifted her legs and wrapped them around my waist. “I like seeing you –“ she moaned mid-sentence as I slammed my cock into her.

“Keep going,” I told her, never slowing my hips.

“I like seeing you lose control. You’re always so – _fuck_ – so put together. I like seeing you lose yourself.”

“What else do you like?” Sometimes, when she was far enough gone, Bella could be tricked into some dirty talk. If I timed my questions just right I got to hear about how much she loved my cock. Something I would never tire of hearing her talk about.

“I like your muscles,” she grunted out, her hands squeezing my back and trailing along my arms. “I love seeing your muscles tense as you come.”

“I like your lips. All – all over my body.” Her lips descended on my shoulder and licked away the water from the shower. “I love how you always want me.”

“Always want you,” I grunted, feeling my body start to give in to the impending release. “Can you come for me one more time, baby? One more and I’ll let you rest.”

Just a few more hard thrusts and she was coming around my cock.

_Fucking perfection._

When I set her on her feet she immediately stumbled, nearly falling over. I caught her as she giggled and slumped into my arms. “I think I need more than an hour nap to recover this time.”

I shut off the water and carried her to bed. It was pretty much destroyed from all of our earlier activities. Only a fitted sheet survived, and a few pillows were remaining on the bed. I laid Bella down and found a few more pillows and a comforter lying on the ground.

Bella’s voice was think with sleep when she muttered a quiet thanks and cuddled up in the blanket.

“Think you can stay awake long enough to open your gift?” I asked, but her eyes were already starting to droop.

“You got me a gift?”

“Yes. Would you like it now?”

“Would you like yours?”

“You got me a gift?”

“Mmmm. Bring me my cosmetic bag?” she asked, rolling over and sitting up in bed.

I grabbed her cosmetic bag and the box with her gift and returned to bed. Bella graciously let me under the comforter and dug out a box from her bag. “You first,” she told me.

I opened up the box and revealed a watch. It seemed similar to the one I had now.

“It’s just the newer model of yours. I know you’ve had that same kind for a long time. But…” Bella pulled the watch out and showed me the inside. On the band the words _You’re my heaven in hiding_.

One of her songs popped into my head. It was my favorite from her new album, and she knew it.

“Thank you,” I told her, locking the watch back up in the box for safe keeping. I would make sure nothing ever happened to it.

“Your turn,” I told her. She popped open the box and revealed the two necklaces that went together. The first would be tighter to her neck and was simply a string of diamonds. The second was a bit longer and was a small, silver pendant with the initial E on one side, and our wedding date engraved on the other.

“Originally, I thought it would be a reminder to you when we were apart, but you one-upped me with that sexy little tattoo.”

Bella smiled and shook her head. “I love it. Will you…?” She handed me the necklaces and turned around. I carefully fastened it around her neck.

She carefully felt the delicate strands around her neck. “Thank you.”

I gave her a quick peck before she fell back into bed. She tugged me over to her and rested her head on my chest. “Love you.”

She was out in seconds, but I still whispered my love to her before I fell asleep.


	10. Gorgeous

_You should take it as a compliment that I’m talking to everyone here but you. And you should think about the consequences of you touching my hand in a darkened room. ~ Taylor Swift, Gorgeous_

_..Sick.._

“I thought a rehearsal dinner was just the wedding party and family? And aren’t they the day before the wedding, not the week before?” Bella asked as she walked out of the closet. She turned her back to me, silently asking me to zip up the back of her dress. It went against every one of my instincts, but I slid the zipper up her back.

She was in a dark, sparkly looking thing. She kind of reminded me of a figure skater, the way the short shirt flowed with her as she moved, but I kept that thought to myself. I wasn’t sure if she would take it as a compliment or an insult.

“You look beautiful, but you’re going to freeze,” I told her, rubbing my hands along her arms, hopefully creating some friction to warm her up.

Bella shrugged. “I’ve got a coat. Now, what’s the deal with this party?”

“They’re calling it a rehearsal dinner, but it’s really just another way for Rosalie to get more attention. Like a pre-wedding celebration.”

“You’re sure it’s a good idea for me to go?”

Bella had asked repeatedly if she should attend. Most of the attendees would be family and wouldn’t speak a word about her, but there were also some of Rosalie’s friends and various family business contacts coming. They all respected or feared us too much to do anything,

“Yes, it’ll be fine,” I told her. “Though, this isn’t how I would have wanted to spend our night if I had a choice.”

A week ago tonight was our wedding. We had both gone back to our normal schedules the Tuesday after, but things were different. We were different. All it took was the muttering of the word _wife_ or _husband_ for us to drop everything and start tearing at clothing.

In a few days we would be moving in to our new home where we would have countless new places to christen. I had already told Bella to clear her schedule. I wanted her constantly before, but the sight of her wedding rings, or that tattoo on her hip drove me crazy.

“There will be some… unsavory people there. Her guest list isn’t like ours.” Now came the moment I had been dreading. “Aro Volturi will be there, along with his family.” Rosalie was, unfortunately, friendly with Tanya and Irina. Apparently, you couldn’t invite the daughters without inviting the whole fucking family.

Bella stiffened in my arms, but I kept rubbing my hands along her biceps.

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” I promised.

“I know,” she whispered, but I could hear the doubt in her voice, the fear.

I pulled the jewelry box out of my coat and turned her to face me. I got an indulgent smile as she saw the box.

“You need to stop buying me things. No one needs this much jewelry.”

“This is the last one for now. Seven gifts for the seven days you’ve been my wife. I’ve never… been like this before. Been this happy, this open with someone, this free to be myself. You… our marriage is the greatest gift I could ask for. A few pieces of jewelry is the least I can do to repay you.”

I was lucky we were alone, because if anyone else heard how much of a pussy I had become around this woman, I would be a dead man. My words got her to take the box, and the soft gasp and subsequent smile was all I wanted in return.

Bella trailed her fingers over the various strings of diamonds, all bound together to form a bracelet. She pulled it out of the box and fumbled with the clasp, so I took over and fastened it to her wrist.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you.” Bella played with the new bracelets on her wrists before whispering, “You don’t have to repay me. It’s the same for me.”

I kissed her forehead and led her to the car.

On the drive up, I told her what to expect from the guests. Many still believed that wives should be seen and not heard, that they were to be arm candy for the night. The women would most likely branch off into their own group, while the men talked business. I hated the idea of Bella surrounded by the vapid, nosey women all night.

“Edward, Hollywood is a den of egotistical men and gossipy women. I think I can handle myself.”

“I don’t think it’s quite the same, Bella.”

“Just because we don’t actually kill people, doesn’t mean Hollywood isn’t just as ruthless, sexist, and disturbing. Especially at my… level I guess you could say.

“The month leading up to my first Oscar win, every single night I had to go to a meeting or a party or an event. Every night I was surrounded by people that were perfectly polite to my face, and then ten minutes later I heard them in the corner talking shit about me. The men would hit on me and stare at me and make crude comments. I think I can handle a few gossipy mob wives.”

This woman was made for me. Her soft smile, the slight cockiness as she talked about her past, her ability to put up with the shit my life entailed, everything about her was exactly what I needed.

“I promise I won’t be far all night.”

“Okay,” Bella told me, and kissed my cheek as the car stopped.

The party was at one of my nicer hotels downtown, but not the same one where their reception would be held a week from today. I kept an arm tight around Bella’s waist as we entered. It was already full, people were drinking and mingling amongst themselves. Emmett and Rosalie were in the center of the room, of course.

“Edward!” Adam Matthews approached, his wife on his arm. From what I could remember, she was cheating on him with at least three other men. I had been propositioned to once or twice, but affairs were messy. Adam was a fairly straight up guy, he was one of our more legal acquaintances and worked for the district attorney’s office. He abided by most laws, but he was still a family friend. That alone could likely land him a few years in prison.

“Adam, good to see you,” I said with a firm handshake. “This is my wife, Isabella Cullen.” _Damn, it felt good to say that_.

“Wife?” Adam looked a little shocked for a moment, but then his eyes fell to Bella. She had a face that could make any serial bachelor change his ways. “It’s nice to meet you, Isabella. This is my wife, Adeline. I’m sure she would love to introduce you to her friends.”

Ah, there it was. The brush off of the wives.

“Of course,” Adeline said all to willingly. I could see the gleam in her eyes at the thought of getting near Bella, the thought of a new girl to bring into her web.

Bella smiled, the one that didn’t meet her eyes quite as much as usual. It was her fake smile, but to anyone else it would look completely genuine. I leaned down to kiss her cheek and whispered, “Find me if you need me,” to her before Adeline and she walked off toward the women. I saw Alice there, so hopefully she would be civil with Bella tonight.

“She’s beautiful,” Adam said, his eyes on the women as they walked off.

I had brought dates to events like this before. I used to like it when the men would complement the woman I was with, because she was with me and not them. But the idea of these men looking at my wife the way they looked at those women was unacceptable.

“She’s mine. You look at her like that again and her ass will be the last thing you ever see.”

The night was a waste. I talked with men I had no interest in and kept an eye on Bella. She never faltered, I always saw the same fake smile on her face. By the time we sat down for dinner I was ready to leave.

“Are you okay?” I asked as I pulled out Bella’s chair for her.

“Yes. Calm down.”

“Was anyone rude to you?”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle, Edward. Eat your chicken.”

I obliged and looked around at the surrounding tables. Wives from each one were staring over here. At first, I thought they were looking at Rosalie but I quickly realized they were staring at Bella.

“What did you do?” I asked her with a smirk.

“I just made it clear that they were to stop talking about how big my husband’s dick was while I was around.”

“That’s what the women talk about at these things? Dick size?”

“Apparently.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I couldn’t tell if she was upset or not. Her tone seemed a bit put off, but her words were telling a different story.

She sighed and finally looked up at me. “I’m fine. I just sometimes forget how… experienced you are in that department. I’m not the only one they asked for your _size_.”

Hell. I looked around and saw the Volturi table, Irina and Tanya were snickering together.

“I’m sorry,” I told her, because there was nothing else I could say.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

When dinner was over Bella and I sat at our table for a while longer. She may have said she was fine, but I understood how her brain worked. She would overanalyze everything. So I sat there, held her hand, and talked about how her film was finally complete.

“You’re keeping to yourself more than usual tonight, Edward,” the deep voice from next to me broke me out of my Bella-induced bubble.

Aro stood before us. I stood up immediately, pleased that I was a good five inches taller than him. Bella followed, but I kept her slightly behind me.

“Aro,” I greeted, offering him nothing more. I had seen him a few times since the shooting, but every time made me sick to my stomach.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your lovely new wife?”

“No,” I told him roughly. I squeezed Bella’s hand and led Aro away from the table. I looked behind me and saw Bella sit back down.

“What do you want?”

“I just wanted to meet your wife, Edward,” Aro smirked. _You just wanted to scare her, bastard._ “I have a… friend who is into acting. I thought your lovely _Bellissima_ could offer her some advice.”

I ignored his request. “Stay away from her.”

“You can’t protect her forever, Edward.”

I ignored the threat as best I could because there was nothing I could do about it here. My plan for Volturi was a slow burn.

But when I turned back to the table, Bella was gone.

“ _Fuck_ ,” I went back to the table. Her purse was gone. I scanned the crowd but there were too many fucking people here.

“I had Ben take her to the car, she’s waiting for you,” Carlisle said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “She looked a little uncomfortable.”

I relaxed and nodded at my father. I guess tonight was a good night for him. “Thank you.”

When I slid into the car Bella had her head resting against the back of the seat and her eyes squeezed shut. She jumped slightly when I grabbed her hand. “It’s just me, Bella.”

She lifted her head and looked at me. Her eyes were red and puffy, but she hadn’t shed a single tear yet. Her face was dry.

“He’s the man who planned it.”

It wasn’t a question. She knew. “Yes.”

“What did he say to you?”

“You don’t have to worry about it, Bella.”

It had been a long time since I had to hold her at night while she cried. It happened a lot early on in our vacation, while she was still coming to terms with everything that had happened with the shooting. She still talked to her therapist, though not as often anymore. She seemed to be doing better, moving on.

But as soon as we got back and she was in bed, Bella clung to me as she cried for everything she had lost, everything Aro had stolen from her.

_..Sick.._

Two days later we were forced back into the lion’s den. Esme took her Sunday dinner’s very seriously. She didn’t accept excuses for absences easily. She also didn’t appreciate tardiness. Bella and I had broken both rules in the past. We had both been busy and Bella had only attended a few Sunday dinner’s in the time we had been back. And tonight, she was running late. Dinner started twenty minutes ago and she still wasn’t back.

Not that I cared. I would happily order something to be delivered for us and spend the rest of the night ravishing her.

“I’m late, I know. I just need five minutes!” I heard her shout, and then saw a flash of brown hair run past my office door.

By the time I had logged off of my computer she was stumbling down the hall, trying to put her boots on and walk at the same time.

“Okay, let’s go!” she said before she nearly fell down the stairs.

“Slow down, it’s fine,” I told her, making her sit at the top of the stairs to finish putting on her boots.

“How was the shoot?” I asked her as we drove to my parent’s home.

“Good. Took two hours longer than it should have, but we got what we needed.”

“And when do I get to see the finished product?”

“I can show you the movie next weekend.”

“Really?” I had no clue how the process worked. Next weekend seemed fast, though.

“Yup. It’s all done.” Her relief was evident.

I never realized how much work went into making movies. I had never really been a movie or television person. I watched the news occasionally, and sometimes I got roped into watching things with others, but usually I was too busy to sit for two hours and watch something.

Now, I had watched everything that Bella had been in. She had an impressive catalog of appearances, so it took me a while, but I managed to see it all. She explained the process to me once, everything that went into making those movies, and it was surprisingly complicated. 

I pulled her hand to my lips and gave her a soft kiss. “I’m very proud of you.”

“Thank you,” she replied and stretched over the console to kiss my cheek. Now that we were out more, around more people, I got a lot of kisses to the cheek. Sometimes my shoulder or hand, but they ended up on my cheek a lot.

On the island neither of us hesitated with our affection. No one was around, there was no one to judge us. But now, especially around family, Bella had taken to a chaste kiss to the cheek when she needed the affection but didn’t feel comfortable with anything more. Personally, I would take her and ravish her mouth in front of anyone, anytime, but her modesty was adorable to me.

Dinner was nothing special. Esme was her usual passive aggressive self, and the moment of kindness Carlisle had shown Bella at the rehearsal dinner was gone and he was back to being the hothead he had become.

Bella was practically dead on her feet. I needed to get her home and in bed, but she had gotten pulled away with the women. I listened to pieces of their conversation from the kitchen. 

“We should update your wardrobe to be more… Cullen wife friendly.”

I rolled my eyes, even though no one could see me. No one like Alice Cullen to simultaneously offer to do something for you and insult you all in one.

“My wardrobe is fine, Alice.”

“I’ll pick up some things for you and have them sent to the house. When are you guys moving in again?”

Bella was no pushover. When she needed to, she stood up for herself and didn’t let people walk all over her. Alice was just too pushy for her own good.

.. _Sick_..

“Shouldn’t we be… doing something?” Bella asked.

We were officially moved into our new home. People were working around us, unpacking and cleaning. It was only ten in the morning, but all of the heavy lifting was already done.

“You thought I would have you lifting boxes and unpacking?”

“That’s usually what people think of when its moving day. Why did you let me dress like this?”

I looked down at her stretchy pants and sweatshirt. It was typical moving attire, I supposed. “Because your ass looks great,” I said. It earned me a playful shove. “Because it doesn’t matter what you wear, Bella. Come on, I’ll show you around.”

I walked her around the house and enjoyed the way her eyes lit up at the little things. Her hands trailed along the freshly cleaned surfaces and she smiled at every blanket that was draped over the chairs and couches.

I held my breath as I opened the door to the room I had made especially for her. There was a piano for her in the corner and space for any other instruments she might like. There were plaques with platinum albums on them that she brought back from Los Angeles hanging on the walls. I was pleased that the movers followed my instructions not to touch the awards in the boxes. Those would be the only thing I let her unpack.

“Do you like it?”

Bella had ventured into the middle of the room. “You did all of this for me?”

“Of course, Bella.”

She wasn’t used to people doing things for her. Every little thing I did, whether it was the jewelry or bringing home dinner, got me the biggest smile because she didn’t expect it. Bella had spent too long taking care of everyone else that she forgot what it was like to not have to fend for herself.

She walked around the room and ended up trailing her fingers over the empty floating shelves.

I lifted up the boxes of awards and put them on her desk. “I thought you’d want to put these up yourself.”

Bella ignored the boxes and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Thank you.”

I pulled her into me. “Anything, Bella. I’d do anything for you.”

_..Sick.._

“What do we know about her?”

“Not much. Name is Elena Rossi, but that could be a fake. There’s not much on her before 1995. No birth records, no medical history, no social security. She’s an actress, like he said. Never in anything big, just a few commercials and random television appearances.”

“Rossi. She’s Italian. Is she related to him somehow?”

“Could be. We’ve got an extensive history on all Volturi’s and their relatives, though. We’ve never come across a Rossi. But, if it’s a fake identity that doesn’t mean shit.”

“Have Liam tail her. It’s no coincidence that Aro suddenly wants in Hollywood of all places.”

“I don’t understand his motive, though. What does coming after Bella do?”

“He goes after Bella, I get sloppy. With me out of the way Carlisle would be free to do whatever idiotic shit he’s promised Aro.”

“Thanks, man,” Emmett scoffed. 

“We all know you’d fold against Carlisle, Emmett.” I didn’t have time to sugar coat things.

“So, what do we do?” Jasper asked.

_What do we do, what do we do?_ It turned out Aro wasn’t lying. He did have a friend, acquaintance, girlfriend, whatever, who was trying to make a name for herself in Hollywood. Elena Rossi. He had stuck his neck out there for her on a few occasions and gotten her some small roles, but he had very few connections who could do much for him.

Hollywood and the mob never mixed well together. Until now.

I had an idea. In the back of my mind, I knew what I wanted to do to retaliate against him this time, but I hated myself for it. I couldn’t ask her to do what I wanted.

“You know, Bella could probably – “

“No.”  
“I’m sure she’s got plenty of connections, Edward.”

“She does. But I’m not asking her to do something like that. What if it’s exactly what Aro wants?”  
“He would never assume you would ask her to do something like that. Bella could start a rumor or something, make it so no one wants to work with her. It’s a little thing, but it’ll piss him off.”

“You know she’ll do it, Edward,” Jasper said.

I leaned back in my chair and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Yes, that’s the problem.”

Half an hour later we walked through the front door and the smell of smoke assaulted us. It wasn’t typical fire smoke, it smelled like burnt food. _Oh, Bella, what have you done?_ I nodded toward the stairs, and Jasper and Emmett headed up.

“Bella?” I shouted, heading toward the kitchen.

“Kitchen!” _Yes, sweetheart, I know. The smoke gave you away._

When I got there, she was pulling something out of the oven, and more smoke flowed out as she did. The room was a mess. There was a pot on the stove that looked like it had been through hell, and whatever was in the oven was definitely dead now.

“Are you okay?” I asked, walking over to turn off all of the burners.

“No. I can’t cook to save my life, I don’t dress ‘appropriately’ to be your wife, apparently, and I don’t have time to go to _fucking_ brunch every Thursday!”

The image of Bella sitting at brunch with my family was too funny not to laugh at.

“Why are you laughing?” she grumbled.

I cupped her face and forced her to look at me. “Because you’re adorable. You don’t need to cook dinner. Throw the recipes my mom gave you away, I don’t care. We can hire a cook.” She tried to protest, but I continued. “Let me finish. I love the way you dress. Alice and Rose are stuffy and proper, but I love those shirts where your shoulder peaks through, or the jeans where I can grab your knee and feel your skin and not just denim. I’d much rather you skip the fucking brunch on Thursdays and have more time to spend fucking me on Thursdays.”

Weekly Thursday meet ups sounded very appealing.

“This isn’t a joke, Edward.”

“I know, but I meant what I said. My parents tried to set me up with girls just like Alice and Rose, women who would have made a perfectly proper wife. I could have had all of those things a long time ago if I wanted. But I didn’t want them. I want you. And I’m completely serious about Thursdays.”

I finally got a little laugh from her, and then she wrapped her arms around my waist. “Thank you.” _Don’t thank me yet, baby._

“I actually had something I wanted to talk to you about. Emmett and Jasper are in my office. Do you have some time?”

_Say no_. “Sure.”

I grabbed her hand and walked with her to my office. One of them had pulled another chair across from the desk and placed it between the two of them. I walked her over to her spot, and then sat in my own chair.

“You guys don’t need me to rob a bank again, do you?” Bella asked, a hit of humor in her voice, but I couldn’t find the humor in it. “Do you?” she asked more seriously.

“No, no banks this time. I do have something to ask of you, though. If you’re not comfortable with it, you can say no. Don’t feel like you have to do it, okay?”

Bella nodded. “Okay.”

“Have you ever heard of an actress named Elena Rossi?”

Bella furrowed her brows but shook her head. “Should I have?”

“No. She’s a relative nobody as far as we can tell. Aro is helping her for some reason. He’s been contacting agencies in California to represent her, and is trying to get her into award shows and parties. It’s an odd move for him, but we want to make it as hard as possible for him to do it.”

“That makes sense. Thwarting any and all of his plans will piss him off, at least.”

I took a deep breath, hating myself for asking this of her. “How much pull do you have in Hollywood, Bella?”

“A lot,” she said without a pause. “What do you want me to do?”

“Can you have her blacklisted? Make it so nobody wants to work with her?” _Say no, say no, say no._

“Yes. I’ve done it once before.”

My eyebrows shot up at that. It seemed very vindictive for her, very out of character.

“One of the guys from the _Clash_ movies… the ones I backed out of… he went around telling people I was difficult to work with and rude to everyone. He pissed me off, so I made it so he never got anything more than a role as an extra. It’s not my finest moment.”

That made more sense. “You can say no to this, Bella,” I reminded her, praying she would take me up on it.

“I know. I can do it, it’s not that big of a deal.”

I sighed, because there was more to my plan. More than I had told Emmett and Jasper. “There is one more thing. Can you get us into the events?”

Bella looked sufficiently shocked. “ _You_ want to do awards season? You’re goading him.”

“Yes. I want him to know I can take anything away from him and have it for myself.”

I wanted to take everything away from the fucker. Just like he took everything from Bella.

“Or do you want to show him you only go to the best of the best?” I frowned at her and she elaborated. “I won at all of the big shows last year, the globes, SAGs, Grammys, and Oscars. If you win the year before, you’re usually invited back and asked to present an award. But, what if we skip everything except the Oscars?

“The Oscars are the best of the best. If this woman is a serious actress, that’s her end goal. But, we skip everything except the Oscars. We’ll announce our marriage that day, maybe right before we arrive. We’ll take over the biggest night in Hollywood.”

_Jesus._ She was diabolical.

“We can do whatever you want, I was just –“

“That’s brilliant.”

“Are you sure you want to do this? We’ll be putting a lot of attention on ourselves. The press is going to butcher us.” _You don’t have to worry about me, baby._

“He’s up to something. He’s been too quiet lately, and then this? We’re going to beat him at his own game.”

It was decided.

I watched Bella for the rest of the night after Emmett and Jasper left, waiting for her to change her mind or freak out. Neither happened. She went about her usual schedule and by the time she curled up next to me in bed I was sure she thought the worst of me.

“Are you okay?” _No. I’m sorry._ “Edward?”

“I don’t want you to think… I didn’t know Aro was going to take this Hollywood route. I don’t want you to feel used.”

“I don’t feel used. I didn’t think that at all, Edward. If I can help you out, I’ll do whatever I can. You wouldn’t do that, I know it.” _God, I love you._

“I would,” I told her honestly. “Before. Before I met you, I wouldn’t have hesitated to seduce you if I thought I could use you to my advantage.”

It was exactly something I would have done before I met her.

“Not to me, though,” Bella whispered. It wasn’t a question, but I could tell she wanted an answer.

“No. Never to you.”


	11. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

_It was so nice being friends again. There I was, giving you a second chance. But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand. And therein lies the issue, friends don’t try to trick you. Get you on the phone and mind-twist you. And so, I took an axe to a mended fence. ~ Taylor Swift, This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things_

_..Sick.._

Hotels were nowhere near as fun without Bella. I was at the same place we stayed in New York City the night we met on Alice’s birthday. I wasn’t in the same room, but it was the same hotel. But, there was no pretty little brunette here to make a fort with.

There was a weapons manufacturing factory in rural New York that had been put up for sale just a few days ago. I had come up for a meeting with the seller and to take a tour of the place. It was a good investment, both legally and illegally. Every new business was a way to clean our money.

It was the last night of my short trip, but I couldn’t sleep. I thought about just calling the pilot and getting the plane ready for now, but I decided to get some other work done instead.

As I was scrolling through some emails, by phone rang and Bella’s picture popped up on the screen.

“Bella?” It was nearly one in the morning for her. She should be asleep by now.

“Edward!” Bella shouted happily. “I miss you. Come home.”

“Are you drunk?” I didn’t like the idea of her drinking without me there. Anyone could catch her off guard.

“Yes. Your mother and Alice and Rose were here when I got home today. They brought me,” a high-pitched hiccup escaped her before she continued. “Fancy clothes because the ones I have aren’t acceptable. And then! And then they tried to talk to me about how I can’t have a baby. It’s not my fault, you know, but they keep acting like it is. I’m in bed but you’re not here. You should be here.”

I chuckled at her pouting but was internally fuming at my family. But, I would have to wait to deal with them.“I’ll be there tomorrow. Are you going to bed now?”

“ _No_ , I’m talking to you! I can’t wait until we don’t have to hide anymore. I can wear my ring all of the time and you can wear yours. I love my ring. It’s very shiny.” I could picture her lying in bed just staring at her ring. The thought brought a smile to my face.

“Go to sleep, Bella. Drink some water and take an aspirin first, okay?” Bella had a very low tolerance for alcohol. One drink and she was tipsy, two and she was flat out drunk. I loved drunk Bella, but only when I was there to reap the benefits.

“No, I don’t want to sleep. I want _you_.”

Drunk Bella was a horny Bella. “And what do you want from me?”

“A lot of things. A hug, first, because you give the best ones. Then a kiss, because you’re pretty good at that too. Especially when you kiss my pussy. Very good.”

“ _Jesus_ , Bella,” I grunted. I could picture her in my head, naked and spread out on our bed. I would have gladly kissed her pussy if I were there with her.

I could hear Bella sigh over the phone. “I’m tired and I miss you.”

I chuckled, because only Bella could go from talk about her pussy to a sweet _I miss you_. “You’re a very distracted drunk, did you know?”

There was a long pause before she asked, “What?”  
“Drink some water. Take an aspirin. Go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”  
Bella let out an overly dramatic sigh before agreeing. “ _Fine_.”

The second I hung up with Bella I called the pilot. We would be leaving within the hour. I had a girl to get home to.

It was close to six in the morning by the time I got home. Bella was fast asleep and sprawled across my side of the bed. I managed a few hours of sleep on the plane, so I left some aspirin and a glass of water next to her and went to my office.

It was hours later when I saw her sleepily stumble down the hall. She came back, not realizing I was already home, after she passed the office.

“When did you get here?”  
“I came back early. I had a very interesting phone call last night.”

Bella’s eyes went wide and she looked at me with a hint of embarrassment. “Oh, yeah?”

She walked over to me and I lifted her up onto my desk. I trailed my hands over her bare thighs, enjoying the slight shiver I got in response. “You don’t remember, do you?”

“Um, a little bit. I’m a distracted drunk, you know.”

“Oh, yes, I know. Do you remember what you said to me about my kisses?”

Her cheeks flamed. I hooked my fingers in the edge of the cotton panties she had on under her sweatshirt and slid them down her legs. “Do you remember?”

“Yes.”

I pulled her to the edge of the desk and set her feet on the arm rests of my chair. I pushed her sweatshirt out of the way and had an uninhibited view of her pussy. I didn’t touch though, not yet. I slid my hands along her thighs and waited.

“I said you – you give good kisses.”

“Ah, but where, my love?”

Bella let out a whine and her hands gripped the edge of the desk. I kissed up one leg and ended up at the sensitive spot right underneath her belly button.

“My pussy.” _Fuck, yes, baby_.

_..Sick.._

“What did they say to you?” I asked Bella as we got ready for bed that night. I never got the whole story of what happened when the women accosted her yesterday.

“The same things I’ve heard from them before, Edward. It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. They shouldn’t be saying this shit to you. They shouldn’t keep throwing all of that in your face.” 

They knew I was out of town. They knew they could get to her when I wasn’t around. It was an underhanded, well thought out move and it infuriated me. I didn’t want Bella dwelling too much on the past.

Every fucking day I had the image of Bella submerged in that tub. Not moving and so broken. Every day I did everything I could to make sure she never got to that dark of a place again. She had told me repeatedly that she wasn’t trying to hurt herself, but the fact remained that I had to pull her out. There was a moment when I thought she was gone, and I was responsible. I wouldn’t let that happen again.

I didn’t know how much my family knew about Bella’s history. A simple search online would prove that she had gone to a mental rehabilitation center years ago, but nothing much more. Bella was strong, but she bottled a lot of her emotions up. She let them break her slowly from the inside. I knew every jab from the women added to that.

The worst part was that Bella had been nothing but kind to them. She put up with Carlisle threatening her and had done more for the family than any of them ever had. Bella had done more than enough to get at least their respect if nothing more.

“I’m sorry they treat you this way.”

“It’s not your fault, Edward.”

“They’re my family. I thought they would come around eventually. I won’t let it go on any longer.”

Bella sighed and slumped against the bed. “I don’t want you getting into a fight with your family over me.”

“I would get into a fight with anyone over you.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.”

I pulled her into my chest and placed her nightly kiss to the center of her forehead. “I’ll take care of it.”

_..Sick.._

“Oh, Edward, you made it!” Esme exclaimed as I entered the family room. “Where’s Bella?”

“She had a meeting that ran late. She sends her regards.” There was no meeting. I told her not to come.

I saw Esme’s face go from annoyed, most likely at Bella not calling her directly to give her the news, to hopeful. Probably that she could convince me that my marriage was a mistake. The first person to speak badly of my wife would get an earful. I had every intention of ending the way my family had been treating her tonight.

The more I had thought about it after my conversation with Bella last night, the more uncalled for I realized all of their words were. Telling someone of Bella’s status that she didn’t dress appropriately enough was ludicrous. There were certain things expected of her now, that much I knew, so I showered her with presents. There wasn’t a day that went by that she wasn’t in at least seven million dollars’ worth of jewelry, including her wedding rings. I had her reputable status covered.

Bella didn’t need help choosing her clothing. I had seen her closets. The walk-in closet at our new home was full of designer labels, most of which were given to her by the designers themselves.

This entire situation was a giant fuck up.

“A meeting on a Sunday?” Esme asked with a frown.

“Yes, mother. A meeting on a Sunday.”

“It just doesn’t seem appropriate.” _It’s also not appropriate to give your daughter-in-law backhanded compliments every time you see her, but that never stopped you_.

“I won’t be staying for dinner either,” I told them, walking over to the bar and pouring myself a drink.

“Of course you will, Edward,” Esme said, a frown on her face. “We have a lot to talk about tonight.”  
“Like what? Are you all going to take turns throwing insults at my wife some more? Or do you prefer doing that while she’s here?”

“Edward, we’ve all been nothing but kind to that girl,” Esme spat out.

 _That girl._ “Bullshit. You glare at her and you judge her and you are constantly trying to break her. What is it that you can’t stand? The tattoos?”

“She isn’t good enough for you! She’s selfish and vain and _useless_. What is her contribution to society? Making a movie? She has no substance. You deserve someone who can give you everything you want,” Esme shouted. _Ah, I finally got her to snap._

“Bella is a lovely person Edward, she just doesn’t fit in this world,” Alice contributed.

“She’s obviously using us, getting a good story for her next film,” Esme spat out.

I stared at my family for a minute, not recognizing a single one of them. I leaned on the bar and scrubbed my hands over my face before I felt composed enough to talk.

“None of you _know_ her,” I said. Esme opened her mouth to argue. “Do not interrupt me,” I replied, my voice dripping with venom. “She started working when she was sixteen. She bought her parents a house when she was seventeen and paid off every cent of their debt. At eighteen she opened her own charitable organization to help causes across the country. She won a goddamn Academy Award at nineteen-years-old.

“What were all of you doing at nineteen? Alice, you were in your rebellious phase, working in a goddamn hair salon. Rosalie, when you were nineteen you were a fucking _stripper_.

“She has contributed more to society than any of us ever will. But all you do is tear her down and it is slowly breaking her.” I looked down at the glass in my hands and squeezed it as tight as I could without breaking it. “When she was eighteen she admitted herself into a mental rehabilitation center.”

There were gasps from a few people around me. I looked over to the corner where Esme sat with Alice and Rosalie. “Did you know the girl you had been torturing had bipolar depression? Did you know that after she lost our child, after she lost any possibility of having her own family she tried to fucking kill herself? If I hadn’t been there to pull her out of the water – “

I took a deep breath and willed the horrible images out of my mind. “She saved me. She turned me into a better man than I had ever hoped to become. The next time any of you disrespect my wife again I will leave this family behind and never look back.”

I slammed my glass down on the bar and stormed out. As I was getting into my car, Emmett and Jasper caught up to me.

“Fuck, man, what was that?”

“It wasn’t directed at either of you. You two have been nothing but kind to Bella.”

“She… she really tried to kill herself?” Jasper asked.

“She said she wasn’t. But I had to pull her out of the fucking water. She wasn’t moving.”

“ _Jesus_.”

I effectively ended the conversation by slamming my car door and driving off. I used the twenty-minute car ride to calm down as much as I could. When I got home I knew exactly where I would find Bella. Upstairs I found her in bed, wrapped up in blankets, and watching late-night television.

She was half asleep but perked up when she saw me. “Hey. How was it?”

“It went fine.” I walked over and gave her a kiss that told her everything I needed to say.

_I love you._

_You’re everything to me._

_I would do anything for you._

_..Sick.._

“See the blonde back there in the corner?” I nodded. “She’s been hooked on heroine for the last five years. I’ve never seen her not high.”

We were at the Vanity Fair Oscar’s party again. Bella seemed to be enjoying herself just as much as she had last year, despite her lack of accolades this time. She was more relaxed this year. I had heard her say in the few interviews she gave that it was more fun to attend when you weren’t nominated.

It seemed to be more than that though. The first time we were here she was the old Bella. The one who got lost in Hollywood, the one who was too self-conscious for her own good. She was still broken then.

The Bella I was with tonight was my Bella. The one who didn’t care about the bureaucracies of Hollywood and just wanted to make movies because that was what she loved. The one who had dirt on every person in this room and was currently pointing out the various secrets everyone around me was hiding.

“Who’s your least favorite person here?” I asked with a smirk.

“Hmm. You see that guy to our left? Shaggy blonde hair, and the ridiculous gold suit? He was one of those teen pop stars that all the girls drooled over, but he’s an egotistical asshole. Walks around like he runs the world.”

“I hear a congratulation is in order,” a deep voice said from behind us.

“Lawrence! I didn’t know you were here,” Bella said as she threw her arms around a man with graying hair. “Lawrence, this is my husband, Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Lawrence. The main reason I have an acting career.”

“Oh, no. You were meant to do this. You would have found your way here, one way or another.” The man smiled at her like a father would, proud and in awe of her accomplishments. “A pleasure to meet you, Edward.”

“Lawrence directed the _Tainted_ movies,” Bella told me as I shook his hand.

“I should be thanking you, then. She wouldn’t have wound up anywhere near Chicago if you hadn’t found her,” I said with a smirk.

“No thanks necessary, she earned it,” he said sincerely. “Now, tell me about this _Hopeless Kingdom_ business.”

Bella and he talked for a while about her film. She told him about problems she had and how she tried to think about what he would do in the same situation. It was adorable, seeing her in her element.

It felt good to be out of Chicago, just for the weekend. I hadn’t spoken to my family, aside from Emmett and Jasper, since my last Sunday dinner. I was still dealing with the Aro situation, and on top of that I was sure there was a mole somewhere. Fucking hated moles.

But tonight, it was all put aside. Tonight was the first time I could really show off my girl.

_..Sick.._

In the days following the announcement of our marriage I had set aside twenty minutes every day to read the various articles written about it. There was nothing I didn’t expect, but then I found the comment section.

People were fucking ruthless.

_I used to be a big fan of hers, but I’m done now. How can she be with someone who has done so many horrible things?_

_What self-respecting woman would be with a guy like that? Say bye-bye to your career, Bella._

_Always knew she was a horrible person. Glad everyone else sees it now!_

_Bella is free to be with whoever she wants. We can’t believe everything written about Edward, just like we can’t believe everything written about Bella. He has to be a good guy if she’s with him._

The last one was a diamond in the rough. Very few people had actually stood up for Bella or said anything kind about her online in the last two days. I had expected it, but I wasn’t sure if Bella realized the severity of my reputation. The local reporters knew more than most, and I had no doubt they would be trading information for a quick profit.

I was glad Bella had decided to live in a little bubble until she went to New York tomorrow. I was dreading her trip. She would be assaulted with questions about this.

My office door swung open with no knock, but before I could yell at whoever it was, I looked up and saw Bella gliding in, a tray of coffee in her hand. “What are you doing here?”  
She sat across from me and pushed a cup of coffee toward me. “I came to visit my husband. I can do that kind of thing now, and not worry about who might see me.”

I smiled and took a sip. “You’re in a good mood.” _Enjoy it while you can, baby_.

She sighed. “For now.”

I walked around the desk and pulled her into my arms. I was already frustrated, having just spent the last twenty minutes reading about us online. I needed her, needed the truth, needed to show her that we were real despite what people would tell her.

With my lips dominating hers, I pulled her as close to me as possible. Just as both of my hands slid down to her ass, the speaker on my desk buzzed. “Mr. Cullen, Anthony Watson is here for your meeting.”

“Shit,” I said against Bella’s lips. She started to pull away, but I kept my grip on her firm as an idea came to mind. “Don’t go.”

“But your meeting – “

“It’s just a formality, it’ll be twenty minutes at the most.”

I pulled her to the other side of my desk, hoping she played along. Because hiding a girl under my desk while I worked had been a fantasy of mine ever since I got this office. And I knew Bella would love it. She would hesitate at first, because she was brought up to be a good girl, but she wasn’t a good girl with me. Then, after Watson was gone I would take her over my desk. _Finally_.

Bella looked from me to the desk until she finally realized what I was asking. “You want me to…” It just took her a moment to answer her own question. “I’m going to be pissed if I get caught.”

_Fuck, yes._

I sat down in my chair as Bella knelt under the desk. Fuck if her excited little smile didn’t get me harder than I already was. _My girl was just as dirty as I was._

Bella had her lips around my cock as Anthony Watson sat across from me. I had just purchased one of his restaurants but kept him on as a manager. I didn’t give a shit about any of that as Bella licked my cock from base to tip.

“I just wanted to thank you again, for keeping me and my team on,” Anthony said.

“Of course. You’ve done, uh, good work with the place.” I was starting to regret my fantasy. All I wanted to do was look down at Bella, watch her lips sliding along my cock, but all I could do was keep one hand in my lap to touch her wherever I could.

I waited ten seconds after the door was closed and Anthony was gone before I pulled Bella to her feet. I discarded her jeans quickly because I didn’t have the patience for anything else. When her bottom half was completely bare I slid two fingers into her dripping pussy.

“I knew you’d like it, baby,” I told her. I kissed her hard, her lips just as desperate as mine. I turned her around and gently pushed her down on the desk. Her hands gripped the edge and I could practically feel the excited energy coming off of her. She wanted this just as much as I did. “You have to be quiet.”

Bella nodded and I didn’t hesitate finally pushing into her heat. She completely surrounded me, her walls gripping down on my cock. With every thrust she shuddered slightly around me, so I kept my pace slow but each thrust hard and deep. There was nothing nice about what we were doing, it was fucking, pure and simple.

“God, you’re perfect,” I grunted out from clenched teeth. I had her hips in my hands and reveled in the feel of her underneath my fingers. I trailed one hand along her ass, up her spine underneath her shirt.

I almost missed the tapping on the door, but I looked up just in time to see it crack open and hear, “Mr. Cullen, we need you – “

Bella started to push up from the desk, but I kept a hand firm on her back. “Not now!” I growled at whoever was out there. It didn’t matter what they needed. The door quickly snapped shut at my command.

“Shit, shit, _shit_ ,” Bella mumbled. She wasn’t mad or scared. By the way she still pulsed around my cock I could tell it aroused her, the possibility of getting caught.

I leaned over her and covered her mouth with mine. Giving in, I increased my pace and slammed my hips into her just a few more times before she was milking my cock for everything it was worth.

I felt Bella sag against the desk, her entire body spent. I reluctantly pulled out of her and sat her up on the desk. “I can’t – “ her small hands gently pushed me away as I kissed her chin, and I chuckled.

“I know, baby. I just need to clean up and then we can leave.”

I grabbed some tissues and cleaned up her thighs, where arousal from both of us lingered. After I fastened my pants back up I picked up a few things that had fallen off of the desk and smiled over at my wife as she buttoned her jeans.

“You’re a bad influence on me, Edward Cullen.”  
I was. That was what everyone was saying in the articles I had read. But the way Bella said it made it sound like a good thing. She needed a little bad in her life, that’s what all of those people didn’t understand. I hated to admit it but reading all of those articles and comments got to me more than I would have liked.

Bella was all that I needed, though. She showed up right when I needed her the most, right when I needed her to remind me that we were all that mattered.

_..Sick.._

_FIVE BIGGEST CLUES IN HOPELESS KINGDOM_

_In case you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard that Isabella Swan (now Cullen) has released another album/film crossover titled Hopeless Kingdom. The story follows her and her new husband’s romance, from the moment they met to the unfortunate shooting that occurred leaving Swan in the hospital for a month, to the aftermath of it all._

_The biggest thing that has caught the world’s attention is the identity of her new husband: Edward Cullen. Rumor has it Cullen and his family have serious ties to organized crime. So, we’ve done some digging. Here are five lyrics from the album that reference Swan’s new ties to the Chicago mafia._

_Five: And you thought that you were the boss tonight, but I can put up one good fight. – Heaven In Hiding_

_So, we all know what a mafia boss is, right? The big wig, the guy in charge. According to some local Chicago papers, Swan’s husband is next in line to be the big boss of Chicago._

_Four: I’m trying to give the impression that I get the message you wish I was dead. See you ‘bouta break a sweat. I won’t let us finish yet. Please don’t take this as a threat. – Lie_

_Death? Threats? Now that we know about Cullen’s involvement with the mafia many believe the shooting that left Swan in the hospital for a month was due to her relationship with Cullen. Lie certainly seems to fit that theory._

_Three: I am a child of a money hungry, prideful country. Grass is green and it’s always sunny. Hands so bloody, I’m finding it hard to leave. – The Prologue_

_The prologue was full of clues, especially the line hands so bloody. Was Swan referencing her shooting, and the people who ended up covered in her blood? Or was it possibly the blood constantly covering her husband’s hands, according to the Chicago Police Department?_

_Two: We’ve been through it all, but you could never spit it out for me. Tryna talk to a wall, but you could never tear it down for me. – Now Or Never_

_I’m a firm believer that Now Or Never is all about Cullen’s secret identity. Did Swan know he was hiding something? Was the ultimatum about him telling her the truth about his family business? It is definitely a possibility._

_One: Told my new roommate not to let you in but you’re so damn good with a bobby pin. Now you gon’ play me like a violin, hittin’ these notes. – Walls Could Talk_

_Has Cullen broken in to any of Swan’s residences? Did she know about his criminal past at this point in the film? The lyrics point to one answer: yes._

It was amazing what people could find when there were millions of new eyes on something. This was one of a hundred articles that did a similar thing: dissect every word sung and spoken on _Hopeless Kingdom_. Now, a lot of what they were saying was actually true, but it was amazing the leaps some took to get to a theory.

The film and movie came out last night at midnight. Bella and I had been up practically all night. She was adorable, pulling the album up on her computer and buying it herself when it came out. I may have purchased a copy or a hundred as well.


	12. Dancing With Our Hands Tied

_I loved you in secret. First sight, yeah, we love without reason. Oh, twenty-five years old, how were you to know? My love had been frozen, deep blue but you painted me golden. Oh, and you held me close. Oh, how was I to know? ~ Taylor Swift, Dancing With Our Hands Tied_

_..Sick.._

A shuffling sound woke me. I reached my arm across the bed for Bella, knowing her warmth would help me fall right back to sleep, but the bed was empty. I sat up with a sigh and noticed her sitting in the corner of our room, curled up on a chair. “What are you doing?”

Her head, which had been turned toward me, shifted down immediately. _Odd._

I went and kneeled in front of her. Even in the dark room I could tell her demeanor was off. When I put my hands on her knees, just to comfort her, she flinched. The last time she flinched away from me she was lying on a bathroom floor after she just found out who I really was.

“What’s wrong?” Bella stayed silent and kept her eyes on the ground. “Bella. Look at me.”

Her eyes popped open, but her mouth stayed silent.

“What’s wrong?” I asked again, keeping my voice as comforting as possible despite my growing worry and frustration.

When she finally spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. “Am I your whore?”

“ _Bella_ ,” I exhaled. That was the last thing I thought she would ever ask me, ever think of herself. I had read the articles, though. Read everyone’s assumptions. They were valid guesses, considering the kind of women I was with in the past, but Bella was a thousand times better than any one of them.

Before I could tell her that, she started talking. “You’re a powerful man, it’s one of the things I love about you. I don’t care about the business power or your money, but you have a commanding personality. I like it. I like it when you use that and… take control when we’re together.

“I think… I’ve had to be so in control of everything since I started working. I like that I don’t have to be like that with you. Does that make me –“

“Stop.” I couldn’t hear her say it again. “You are never to call yourself my whore again, do you understand?” I didn’t get an answer. “You’re my wife. Our marriage is more than sex, Bella, and you know it. Where is this coming from?”

Fuck, had I ever treated her like a whore? I bought her things because I liked to take care of her, not because it was some kind of consolation for sex. I had sex with her because she was my wife, because I loved her, not just because I wanted to use her to get off.

She hesitated for a moment but eventually answered. “I’ve been reading some things online.”

Of course. I sighed and tentatively reached out to cup her face in my hands. I traced my fingers along the dark circles that had been forming under her eyes steadily in the last week since our marriage announcement.

I couldn’t be mad at her. We just both had different ways of coping with the situation. My solution was to take her over my desk in my office. Bella got lost in her mind, lost in the idea that what everyone was saying was true.

“You’re my girl,” I told her. “I love you for a hell of a lot more than your body, as spectacular as that is.”

“I’m sorry. Sometimes I just get… lost in my mind and things get fuzzy.”

I picked her up, draping her legs over my arms and carried her back to bed. “No more articles online, okay?”

Bella sighed and buried her head in my neck. “Okay.”

_..Sick.._

“Bella?” I shouted as I entered the house. I could smell food cooking, which was never a good sign when Bella was alone. The girl excelled at nearly everything she did, but cooking was a lost cause with her.

I headed for the kitchen and saw a few plates full of cooking. “What is all of this?”

My eyes zeroed in on a plate of snickerdoodles and I immediately reached out for one.

“No! Try one of these.” Bella handed me a cookie. I took a bite, moaning at the cinnamon sugary goodness.

“Do you like it?”

I finished the cookie and lifted Bella onto the counter. “It’s fucking delicious. You made these for me?”

I never got an answer, but I did get a kiss.

“Bella! When did you get an Emmy? I didn’t know – “

I groaned and pulled away from Bella. I knew Alice and Rose were coming over today to apologize to Bella, but I didn’t think they would still be here.

_“Jessica, I need all of the information Alexander Oliver sent over on my desk within the next hour,” I grunted out at my secretary before retreating to my office._

_“Oh, your sister is – “_

_“What the fuck are you two doing here?”_

_Alice and Rosalie were standing across from my desk. Both looked apprehensive but determined._

_“Can we talk to you?”_

_“I’ve got a lot of shit to do, you know,” I said, slumping in my chair. “Ten minutes. Go.”_

_“We wanted to apologize to you. For how we’ve treated Bella,” Alice said. “I liked the idea of her at first. You know me, I know all of the Hollywood gossip. But the actuality of having her as part of our lives was different. She’s… intimidating. I never really know how to act around her. It’s a horrible excuse, but it’s all I have.”_

_“I was intimidated, too,” Rosalie started. “Bella isn’t like the girls we grew up with. She doesn’t care about the same things, and she has different priorities. We didn’t know about her, uh, issues. We never would have – “_

_“Why are you telling me this?” I asked them. “You should be saying this to Bella, not me.”_

_“We are. We’re going over there this afternoon,” Rosalie said._

_“We just wanted you to know we were completely horrible people,” Alice mumbled, looking at her hands._

_I had never seen either of them look so remorseful. I was glad they were finally coming around. I hadn’t seen them or Esme in weeks following my blow out at dinner. I had gotten a few angry calls from my mother, but I never answered._

_“Just be fucking civil. You don’t have to be best friends,” I told them._

_They both nodded. “We really are sorry, Edward.”_

“Um, I got it for my guest role in Unknown,” Bella told them as she slid away from me. I let her go, because there was a plate of cookies behind her calling my name.

“I told you he liked snickerdoodles,” Rose said, but I ignored her.

I looked over at Bella, silently asking her if she was okay. I got a small nod so I let the issue slide for now. My girl was happy and made a damn good snickerdoodle. I didn’t have much to complain about.

_..Sick.._

“I’m going to Ireland in a few weeks. I’m going to need you both to pick up the slack while I’m gone,” I told Emmett and Jasper. I had decided just this morning that I needed to make the trip. I had some relatives to talk to.

We had a large extended family still living in Ireland. They ran some small organized crime rings overseas, but our main operations now resided in Chicago, ever since Carlisle’s father, Ronan, moved here decades ago.

Ronan Cullen had rebelled against his father, Aiden, because he saw bigger opportunities outside of Ireland. Bigger cities to take over, more enemies to defeat. He liked a challenge, or so I was told. I never actually met the bastard. Ronan had two kids, Carlisle and Daniel, with his wife Ava. Just a few years after they had Daniel, Ava was brutally murdered. No one ever talked about the details, but it was a pretty grizzly crime scene from the rumors I had heard.

No one ever found out who did it, but it pushed Ronan over the edge. He took Carlisle with him to the states and settled in Chicago. Daniel was too young, and he didn’t have time to deal with a small child and do what he needed to in Chicago. So, he left Daniel with Aiden and started the Cullen’s takeover of Chicago.

Carlisle was only ten at the time, but within ten years the two of them were running Chicago, much to the dismay of the Volturi’s. They had been in charge for years before, but they couldn’t keep up with the ruthlessness of Ronan. He was taking revenge for his wife’s murder on anyone he met. He didn’t know who did it so he punished everyone.

I used to think it was a stupid decision, doing so much to avenge his wife’s murder. But I knew, had I been in a similar situation, I wouldn’t stop until the man who murdered my wife was dead, too. I had a newfound respect for the grandfather I never got to meet.

Dontai Volturi, Aro’s father, killed Ronan the year Carlisle married Esme, about twenty-eight years ago. I always thought the Volturi’s somehow had something to do with Ava’s death, but there was never enough evidence to go on.

Throughout all of this, Daniel, Carlisle’s brother, started running everything in Ireland. He’s got a family of his own and enjoys the more peaceful life of crime he has in there. He’s never even been to Chicago. Aiden is also still alive, somehow, even though he’s close to a hundred years old at this point. Fucker won’t go down, though. He’s surprisingly active and aware considering his age.

I haven’t been to Ireland in years, officially. Bella and I were there for a short while on our vacation, but we never met with any family. They would be pissed I was so close and didn’t stop. But, we have important shit to discuss now. Like me taking over for Carlisle.

Ronan Cullen must be rolling over in his grave at all of the shit Carlisle has been doing. Carlisle is either completely out of the loop or micromanaging everything. I’ve been keeping the family functioning since Bella and I got back, but I needed Carlisle to stop second guessing everything I did and stop getting in my way. I needed the official title of being the head of the Cullen family. So, I needed the support of everyone back in Ireland.

“Do Carlisle and Esme know you’re going?” Jasper asked.

“No. I haven’t seen Esme since my last Sunday dinner, I’m not worried about her finding out. But we can’t let Carlisle know. With our luck he’ll lose it and destroy the entire fucking family.”

My phone buzzed and I reached for it immediately. Bella was in New York for a meeting with her tour sponsors. I looked at the clock before reading the message, she should be in her meeting now.

_Tour is off. Coming home this afternoon._

“Fuck,” I muttered, typing out a quick response.

**What happened?**

“Something wrong?” Emmett asked.

_Sponsors pulled out._ Was all I got in response.

“Bella’s tour sponsors pulled out. Probably because of her new last name.”

The world was divided, it seemed. There were people who didn’t give a shit who Bella married, and there were people who were so upset about it they could hardly function. I had no idea people cared that much about the personal life of someone they had never even fucking met.

Even other celebrities, people Bella had met, felt the need to get their opinion in on the subject. Some supported Bella, as they should if they were ever friends, and others dragged her name through the dirt. Companies vowed they would never work with her, directors started making up stories about her, everyone wanted their five seconds of fame for having information on the subject.

Bella said she expected it, and I did too, but not to this extent.

“Damn. That’s fucked up. Tour is off then, huh?”

I thought for a moment, and then sent out a mass email to every board member of E.C., instructing them to be here within the hour.

“No. I’ll do it.”

“You’re going to sponsor her tour? Won’t that look even worse?”

“Sponsoring her tour won’t make a difference.” We’re already connected, it wouldn’t matter how much more intertwined our lives got.

I got rid of Emmett and Jasper after that, suddenly having even more shit to get done today. After leaving Bella a message to meet me at the office when she got back I had the legal team draw up a contract, nearly identical to the one she was about to sign. I spoke with every board member once they arrived. They all agreed to the sponsorship, not that any of them would really object when I asked for a personal favor.

The sponsorship was actually a financially good move. We would all make money off of it, even if Bella only did a few shows. The revenue from the ticket sales and everything else would more than cover the costs of putting on the show, paying everyone that needed to be paid, and still return a profit.

It was late in the afternoon by the time Bella barged in my office.

“Those fucking cowards,” she grumbled, throwing her bag on the chair and pacing back and forth. I leaned back in my chair and waited for the rant that I knew was coming.

“We had the whole goddamn contract written up and everything. Money had been allocated, people hired, the whole deal. Then they decide they don’t like my _image_ anymore?” Bella threw herself in a chair opposite of me. “I’ve given the public… everything. They know everything about me. I let them in and they’re fucking me over now.”

With her head thrown on the back of the chair and her eyes closed, she finally quieted down.

“You’re too nice,” I told her.

Bella’s eyes popped open. “Excuse me?”

“You’re too giving to the public. You’re right, they have fucked you over. So, maybe it’s time to fuck them. Figuratively speaking, of course.” I smirked. All of the real fucking would be done by me.

“I don’t understand.”

“E.C., Inc. would like to sponsor the Hopeless Kingdom Tour. You can do whatever you want, but I would like to make one suggestion.” Bella started shaking her head, but I didn’t give her a chance to start protesting just yet. “Get exclusive. Do how many shows you want, not how many you think the public wants. You can do small venues or go for a fucking stadium. Do things your way, not theirs.”

The head shaking resumed. “Edward, you can’t – “

“Oh, I can. Come with me.”

I grabbed her hand and led her with me to the conference room. Once we were inside, I pulled her chair out and got her settled at the head of one side of the table. After I set her contract in front of her, I sat in the seat directly across of her.

“Isabella, this is the board of E.C. Inc. We’re here to discuss the terms of our sponsorship contract.”

_..Sick.._

“Hello?” Bella’s gruff, sleepy voice made me smile as I descended the stairs of the plane. I had just landed in Dublin. It was about nine in the morning here, but that meant it was around four in the morning for her. She had given me strict orders to call her as soon as I landed, no matter the time.

“Hey, sweetheart. I just landed.”

“Mmm. Good. I miss you,” she mumbled.

“I miss you, too. Get back to sleep, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

I heard a soft sigh. “Okay. Love you.”

“Love you, Bella.”

I hung up and got in the waiting car. I felt like shit leaving Bella just a few days after her botched interview announcing the tour. She said she was fine, and she seemed to be fine moving away from the openness she once shared with the public, but I still hated leaving her.

I would be going to my uncle’s home first. It would be filled with family, and I would have to deal with the personal questions and familial reunion before I could really get to the reason why I was here.

“Well if it isn’t Edward fuckin’ Cullen,” Daniel shouted as he came out of the mansion. He was the complete opposite of the father I had grown up with, despite their relation. His hair was darker and his face was kinder.

Growing up, we saw our family here usually once or twice a year. We saw them less the older we got, but it was like nothing had changed every visit. 

“Daniel,” I greeted him. His arms wrapped around me in a tight hug. If you could say one thing about the Cullen’s, it was that they loved their own fiercely.

“We’ve got a lot to talk about, eh?” he said with a clap on my back. “You’ve finally settled down. That’s reason enough to celebrate!”

The floodgates opened then, and two dozen family members surrounded me. It took hours of greetings and reacquainting ourselves before things were somewhat settled enough to have an actual conversation.

I was settled in a chair in the spacious living room, drink in hand, when the questions started.

“Start with the wife. She’s got to be strong willed if she puts up with you all of the time,” Maggie, Daniel’s wife said. I had always liked her. She didn’t put up with any shit, just like Bella.

“Ah, the actress, eh? Risky move there, Ed.”

“Once you meet her, you’ll know there’s no risk. Bella is… she fits perfectly with us.”

“Why didn’t she come with you?”

“She’s busy with rehearsals. I’ll get her here eventually.”

“Now, tell me, how’s my dear old brother?”

It took me a few days to be able to get the men I needed alone for a conversation. But, four days into my visit I sat with Daniel, Aiden, and Colin, Daniel’s son. The three highest ranking members of operations here.

“I have something important to discuss with you all,” I told them as we crowded around Daniel’s office, glasses of scotch in each of our hands.

They were quite for a moment before Daniel spoke up. “What’s my brother done?”

“What makes you think it’s about Carlisle?”

“We know when things are going wrong over there, Edward. Shit hasn’t been right for a long time.”  
I sighed. “No, it hasn’t. That’s why I’m here. I need to take over, whether Carlisle likes it or not.”

_..Sick.._

It was late afternoon when the car finally pulled into the driveway. The second I had the door opened a tiny little brunette had her arms wrapped around me. I lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs around my waist, squeezing me as tight as she could.

“I missed you,” she whispered into my neck.

“I really fucking missed you,” I told her, pressing her back against the car and kissing her like my life depended on it. With her taste on my tongue for the first time in eight days I could hardly be blamed for the shameless moans and frantic grabbing. I slid my hands up her bare thighs, and under the flimsy shorts she was wearing.

Bella tore away from my lips, gasping for breath. Her eyes were hazy, but she had a lazy smile on her face. “I have a present for you.”

“Are you my present?” I asked, giving her ass a squeeze, loving having her bare skin in my hands again.

“No. Well, I can be later. But that’s not what I was talking about. It’s an early birthday present.” She wiggled out of my arms, and I begrudgingly let her. She pulled me over to stand in front of the garage. “Stay.”

Bella left me to go punch in the code to open the door. She was practically bouncing with excitement as the door opened. Then my eyes landed on a new addition that definitely wasn’t there when I left.

_Fuck_. “Is that the –“

“Bugatti Chiron.”

“With the –“

“Quad-turbocharged engine, 1,500 hp, zero to sixty miles-per-hour in two-point-three seconds.”

“It’s not –“

“Available for three months? Nope.”

“ _Jesus_ , Bella.”

I walked over to the car. I had the urge to run my fingers along the pristine black metal, but I didn’t dare touch it. Not yet. I walked around the car, inspecting every little crevice I could find.

“It’s all yours,” Bella said, catching my attention just in time to catch the key she tossed at me.

“Seriously, how did you get this? No one gets them early, Bella. No one.” Not even me, and I had tried.

“I just had to pull a few strings.” Bella shrugged, a cocky smile covering her face.

I should be upset with her for spending, at the very least, three million on the car. I knew, without a doubt, she wouldn’t have used my money for it, either. She looked so excited though, and I fucking loved her and the car.

“Do you like it?” I must have been quiet for too long because her voice was suddenly nervous.

“I love it. I love _you_ ,” I told her, walking back to where she stood in the driveway. I picked her up easily, wrapping her back around my waist. “I probably need to thank you properly.”

_..Sick.._

There were about ten of my men surrounding the arena where Bella had been rehearsing for the last month. I hadn’t had the chance to visit her or see any of her show yet, but I was finally making up for it. It was also a chance for me to make sure the men I had assigned to her were doing their jobs. Everyone I had come across was alert so far, so no one had to be fired yet.

I had wandered the entire fucking arena before I found someone to tell me where Bella was. There was a backroom down the one hall I hadn’t ventured down yet. I saw Ben standing outside the door.

“Why aren’t you inside?” I asked. Out of all of the men here, he was the one I didn’t think I had to worry about.

“It’s wardrobe day. There’s no other entrance to the room, and everyone in there has passed their background check.”

Wardrobe day. I laughed at his knowledge of how tour planning worked. He probably knew more about the process than I did.

“Ah. Good work.”

I knocked lightly and opened the door. There were clothes everywhere, racks of outfits, tables with sewing machines and people working furiously. Bella was standing off to the side, talking with a woman I had never met. She was in a pair of black leather shorts with a simple white V-neck t-shirt tucked into them.

I loved her wearing white. It made the dark tattoos on her arms stand out.

“Hey!” Bella exclaimed when she saw me near the door. “What are you doing here?”

“You can visit me at work but I can’t visit you?” I asked her with a smirk. “Do you have a few minutes to spare?”

“Of course,” she replied quickly, before turning to the woman next to her. “I’ll be back in half an hour. Is that enough time to finish this?”

Bella lifted the white shirt over her head, leaving herself in a simple nude bra. I quickly stepped in front of her, shielding her from the eyes of everyone around as she pulled on a different grey shirt. She turned the white one over to the woman, and I noticed a design sketched on the back, halfway filled in with something sparkly.

“What a gentleman,” I heard one of the women behind be say.

“Of course. I’ll get it done,” the woman Bella was talking to said.

Bella grabbed my hand and walked out of the room with me. Once we were down the hall, finally away from wandering eyes, she turned to me with a smile. “There’s not really any modesty in the wardrobe department but thank you for trying.”

I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “So, what goes on at one of these top secret rehearsals?”

Bella laughed and took my hand again. “I’ll show you the good stuff.” She led us down the halls until we came out on the floor of the arena. Her stage was set up in front of us. It was an elegant staircase with a few breaks in the middle, long stretches of stage for her to perform on.

“Are you sure stairs were a good idea?” I asked her, remembering the video of her tripping up some to get her Academy Award.

“Hey, I haven’t tripped up the stairs in years,” Bella laughed. “Come look at what it can do.”

Bella spent the next twenty minutes talking with some of the electrical guys, working with them to show me some of the features of the stage. It was like one giant television screen. The stairs lit up, the two big screens that would be behind her displayed all of the visuals she had chosen for each performance, and there were pyro cannons built into the stage that shot out effects.

It was pretty damn impressive.

I watched Bella as she talked with the men surrounding her. They had gotten distracted by something or other, an element that Bella thought was done but apparently they had decided it wasn’t going to work. Bella persisted though, encouraging everyone to keep trying but at the same time demanding it work.

There was no doubt who the boss was here. Bella was younger than every person in the room, but she handled herself with the grace of a seasoned professional CEO.

_..Sick.._

“ _Damn_ ,” Emmett said as he circled the car. “She started asking all these questions about it after you left. Getting specifics on it. I just assumed she had taken up an interest in cars.”

I snorted at that. Bella was interested in a lot of things, but cars wasn’t one of them. I still couldn’t figure out how she got it so early, but I wasn’t complaining.

“No touching,” I scolded Jasper as his hand approached the hood of the car.

The sound of a car coming up the driveway distracted me. I turned around, expecting to see Ben driving Bella home, but I was met with the sight of my father’s black Mercedes coming up the drive.

“Fuck,” I muttered. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him yet. I still had a few things to arrange before I could broach the subject of taking over for him, whether he wanted me to or not.

I was surprised to see Esme get out of the car as well. I hadn’t seen her in a couple of months.

“Your father and I need to talk to you. All of you. Are the girls inside?” Esme said. She sounded odd, not her usual self. Something wasn’t right.

“Rose and Alice are inside. Bella’s working,” Emmett said.

Everyone went inside and sat around the living room. I went straight for the bar.

“What’d you do?” I asked, pouring myself a drink. I had a feeling I would need it.

“What?” Esme asked, fake confusion all over her face.

“What did you do? One of you fucked up, obviously. What was it?”

“Your father is sick, Edward,” Esme said, her voice cracking slightly. “The doctors found a tumor in his brain. He’s got to go away for a while. There are doctors in the northeast who specialize in his condition.”

Shit. That… wasn’t what I was expecting.

“You’ll be okay though. Right, dad?” Alice asked, walking over to give him a hug.

“I’ll be fine. They said it was a fairly large tumor, growing for two to three years, but with the treatment I have a good chance at a complete recovery.”

“Is it why you’ve been acting off?” I asked.

“Yes. The tumor is pressed to part of my brain, the emotional part. It had me fine one moment and furious the next.” Carlisle looked like there was more to the story. I stood there, stared at him, and waited for him to continue. “There is something else you should know.”

Everyone was silent. This was between me and Carlisle.

“I paid James Hunter to go to Aro and tell him about you and Bella.” Carlisle’s eyes never left mine as each word slowly left his lips.

_I paid James Hunter to go to Aro and tell him about you and Bella._

James told Aro. Aro put a hit on Bella. Bella got shot, nearly killed. All because of my father.

“I’ve been working with Aro for over a year. We had a plan to combine our resources, join the families and control everything in the city.”

My ears started to ring, my heart started to race, and it felt like my nerves were trying to jump out of my body.

“You’re the fucking mole?” I shouted. _Un-fucking-believable_. A lot of shit went down when you were in organized crime, but I had never heard of the boss being the one to destroy his own family willingly.

“One of them. There’s another, but I don’t know who.”

“Jesus, dad, why would you – “ Emmett started, but I had reached my breaking point.

“He’s not our father. He’s an incompetent piece of _shit_ who has tried to destroy us for years,” I spat at him.

“Edward, your father has done the best he can, considering the circumstances,” Esme said. Her voice was small, but her eyes bore into me. She was more loyal to her husband than her children, that much was clear.

“No, he fucking hasn’t. He should’ve stepped aside before it got this bad.”

He had to have known something was off. The second I started to think working with Volturi was a good idea I would have gotten one of every fucking medical test there was.

“What’s wrong?” a soft voice from beside me asked, then a tiny hand grasped mine.

_Shit_. I looked down at Bella and all of my anger evaporated for a moment, only to be replaced with gut-wrenching guilt. She’s taken the brunt of Carlisle’s fuck ups. The one person who didn’t deserve it.

“What is it?” she asked, and I was furious again.

“Are you going to tell her about how your fuck up nearly killed her, or should I?”

Carlisle looked remorseful, but not enough. It would never be enough. “We don’t have time for this, Edward.”

“We’re making time!” I shouted, dropping Bella’s hand and pulling at my hair.

Bella pulled on my arms. “Edward, it’s fine. Whatever it is –“

“Carlisle has a brain tumor,” I told her. Her arms dropped. “It’s pressed right up against the part of his brain that controls his emotions. It’s been why he’s acted like an even bigger dick than usual the last few years. It’s why he tried to push us toward the Volturi’s so much. It’s why he hated you so fucking much he paid off James to go to Aro and tell him about you.”

“He didn’t know what he was doing, Edward!” Esme shouted at me.

“She can’t have kids! She’s got scars covering her body and she’ll have tremors in her arm for the rest of her life! He _knew_. He knew he was out of control and he should’ve had me take over before he nearly got my wife killed. Jesus, you were so unstable you pointed a gun at her fucking _head_ ,” I turned toward Carlisle for the last part.

“After this, I want you gone. I don’t care where you’re getting the treatment, just get the fuck out of this city.” _This_. I knew why he was here. It wasn’t just to tell me about all of this. It was to put me in charge. Give me the family.

I left everyone gaping in the living room and pulled Bella upstairs. I didn’t mean to, but I slammed the door behind her once we were in our room, causing Bella to jump slightly. I left Bella standing by the door and shoved everything and anything out of my way as I paced.

“I… I don’t understand,” Bella’s voice was small as she spoke from the bed.

“That fucking… he’s sick. He’s going to a hospital in the northeast for treatment. They say he’s got good odds. The tumor is pretty big, they think it’s been there for at least two, maybe three years, but they’re optimistic they should be able to remove it with the right treatment. He’s been more impulsive lately, made stupid, reckless decisions. That’s why.

“It’s why he was always so hot and cold with you. It’s what gave him the stupid fucking idea to work with Volturi. He knew about you before I ever told him about us. He paid James off to out you to Volturi. He was just sabotaging every fucking thing with no clue about what he was doing.”

Bella was quiet. I chanced a look over at her and saw her picking at her nails, another nervous habit of hers. _She didn’t deserve any of this._

I shoved the dresser that I happened to be standing next to over, needing to get the angry energy out of my system before I could comfort her. When I knelt in front of Bella and cupped her face gently in my hands, I saw the silent tears falling down her cheeks.

_“I’m so sorry.”_

“It’s not your fault,” she replied. But I knew it was. It was my job to protect her, and I couldn’t even protect her from my own family. And now I had to ask her for another sacrifice.

“There’s one more thing.”

“What?”

“Carlisle is leaving, stepping down because he can’t be in charge anymore. I’m taking over.” She would understand what I was saying. She knew it was coming eventually. “There’s a small ceremony, just with the family. You’ll need to be there.”

Bella nodded. “Is this… you’ve wanted this, right? It’s a good thing?”

“Yes. This is what I’ve worked toward for a long time.” It was. I had wanted this ever since Carlisle told me when I was twelve that one day I would be just like him. But I would gladly give it all up if it meant Bella hadn’t had to be collateral damage.

A look of fierce determination took over the sadness that was covering her face. “Okay.”

Bella stood up and went straight for the shower without another word. I left her alone, not wanting to overwhelm her. I stood in the middle of our room, my mind completely blank as Bella got ready.

I followed her into our closet and started changing into a new, freshly pressed suit. I looked over and saw Bella frantically shifting through her clothes. I placed a hand on her bare shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

“It’s okay. Anything will be fine,” I told her, giving her a comforting squeeze.

She pulled out a dark red dress and I helped her into it, zipping up the back. I stood at the door, fastening my watch as Bella put her shoes on. A minute later her hand slipped into mine.

The ceremony was short and simple. Usually these things were more complicated and required more planning, but we were on a time crunch. Carlisle and Esme were on a flight to New York in an hour.

So, thirty minutes later, I was officially the head of the Cullen family.

Carlisle and Esme left without another word. Bella sat quietly on the couch, pulling at the hem of her dress. Alice and Rosalie gossiped in the corner, and Emmett poured Jasper and I another drink at the bar.

“We’re going to have a lot of shit to clean up, now,” Emmett said. “But, we have one more night of freedom before we have to work tomorrow.”

One more night. Traditionally, the night before the initiation there was a _last night_. Last night of freedom and rebellion for the person who was about to be bogged down with a hell of a lot of work running the family. _Me_.

Emmett had decided my last night would be tonight, despite my initiation already happening. I wasn’t very convinced.

“You need it, Ed. You know Carlisle left behind a lot of shit for you to deal with. We’ll just go out for a drink or two.”

“You should go,” Bella said as she walked over to us. “I’ll be fine, if that’s why you’re hesitating. I’m just going to go to bed.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek and retreated to the stairs.

I followed and grabbed her arm before she could retreat upstairs. Bella turned to me with a patient smile and tired eyes.

“I’m just tired, Edward. I was already exhausted before I came home to all of… this. Go, have fun with your brothers. I’ll be fine.” She kissed my cheek and turned away.

Three deep breaths later I turned to my brothers. “Let’s go.”

Five hours later Emmett and Jasper dragged me back home.

Home. Home means Bella.

“Bella!” I shouted the second we were in the door.

“Jesus, Edward, she’s probably asleep. It’s two in the morning,” Jasper hissed at me.

“You can’t talk to me like that because I’m _in fucking charge_. Of everything.” Bella. Need to see Bella. “Bella!”

“I’m right here, Edward.” She came downstairs, tying the belt of a short, silk robe around her.

I shoved away from Emmett and Jasper and wrapped her in my arms as soon as she was close enough. Everything was right when she was here.

“Whoa.” Bella’s arms wrapped around me, but not in a hug like mine were. Hers were holding me up as I nearly collapsed into her.

“We’ll get him up to bed,” Emmett said, as he tried to pull me away from Bella.

“I’m fine. Leave us alone,” I grumbled into Bella’s neck. Her skin smelled like strawberries so I lavished it with my tongue.

“I’ll take care of him,” Bella said, making me smile into her neck.

“Mmm. How are you going to take care of me, baby?” I whispered to her. But then I heard laughs behind me. _Jesus, those two are annoying_.

“You sure, Bella?”

“You’re so tiny,” I mumbled to her. “But you fit perfectly. Right here.” She was really fucking tiny. Nearly a foot shorter than me, but we just fit.

“Yes, I’ve got him.”

“Call us if you need anything. Edward is very… blunt and ornery when he’s drunk.”

“C’mon,” Bella said and pulled me to the couch. She pulled away when I tried to pull her into my lap.

“ _Bella_ ,” I said insistently, but she just laughed.

“I’m just going to get you some water and an aspirin. I’ll be right back.”

She disappeared for a minute, longest fucking minute of my life, but then she was back. I watched her legs as she walked over to me, bare skin disappeared under a very short robe.

“What are you wearing under that?” I asked after I swallowed whatever pills she had handed me. Instead of sitting in my lap like I wanted her to, she sat on the coffee table across from me.

“Lingerie. Why did you feel the need to get completely wasted after today?”

“Because… because I’m in charge. Of everything. That’s… Carlisle was supposed to spend years teaching me, getting me ready for this. I know what I have to do, but there is a hell of a difference between knowing and doing.”

“Are you scared?”

“No. Scared isn’t the right word. Apprehensive, maybe. A lot of people are counting on me now.” I shook my head. I didn’t want to think about that now. “Will you take off your robe?”

“Once you finish your water,” Bella said, handing me the glass. I had it empty in about thirty seconds.

“Your turn,” I told her.

Bella stood, chuckled, and slowly untied the belt around her waist. She didn’t take off the robe, but she let it fall open so I could see what she was wearing underneath. Silky black shorts trimmed with lace. A lacy black bra that made her tits look fan-fucking-tastic.

“God, you’ve got great tits.” I made her blush. “And that blush… fuckin’ beautiful.”

“Time to get you to bed. Come on.” Bella reached out for my hand, probably planning on pulling me up, but I pulled her into me instead. When I had her straddling my lap I finally got my hands on her skin, the soft skin of her thighs.

“You asked before… if I was scared,” I said, keeping my eyes on the cluster of freckles on her right shoulder. “The only thing I’m scared of is losing you because of this.”

That was what ran through my head all night. Bella leaving, deciding this wasn’t the life she wanted. That was why a drink or two turned into a dozen.

“Edward,” Bella said, but I kept my eyes on the freckles until she grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re my _husband_ , I’m not leaving you. I’m proud of you.”

I scoffed. “You’re not proud of me.” She shouldn’t be proud that I just became even more of a sinner.

“Yes, I am. You’ve been working toward this since you were what, twelve? That’s something to be proud of, Edward.”

I laid my head back against the couch, reveling in her words. _You always know just what to say, baby._ I felt her lips trailing along my chin to my neck, and my hands played with the edge of her lacy shorts.

“Did you put this on for me?”

“Yes,” she said. “I thought you’d want to… celebrate when you got home.”

My hands slid up her thighs and gave her ass a quick squeeze. “Strip for me.”

Bella looked at me with wide eyes for a moment, but then she stood up from my lap, standing in the small space between my legs and the coffee table. She slid the tiny robe down her shoulders then hooked both of her thumbs in the silk shorts before shimmying them down her legs. All the while, my own hands had freed my cock from my slacks as I watched the most erotic strip tease of my life.

“Touch yourself,” I told her.

Bella faltered for a moment, but slowly trailed a hand between her legs. It was like I could feel what she was doing to herself on my own fingers. I knew how warm and slick her skin would be. I knew she would circle her clit, press into it lightly because that was what she loved.

I pulled her hand away and brought her fingers to my lips, sucking her fingers clean.

Bella took the initiative then, situating herself in my lap and attacking my lips in a frantic kiss. She ground her pussy against my cock and I was done.

I lined her up and helped her sink down until I was completely seethed inside of her. She let herself get adjusted to the intrusion before she lifted her hips up and dropped them back down. Hard.

I kept one hand on her waist as she moved and trailed the other up her side. Bella still had on the black lacy bra, but a quick tug freed one breast for me to play with.

Her arms gripped the couch behind me, giving her enough leverage to slam herself down of me every time. I could see the muscles in her arms tense with every movement. My girl wasn’t weak, she had strength behind everything that she did.

It was a selfish move, but my mind was too clouded to care. I leaned my head against the couch and let her do all the work. I kept a hand on her waist to steady her, but my other simply played with her nipple, tugging and pinching, enjoying the weight of her in my hand.

Bella leaned down and sucked on my neck, her teeth scraping my skin. Her hands left the couch and started tugging on my clothes. The top few buttons on my shirt popped off as she tugged on the neck. One of her hands reached down the back, her nails scratching against my skin as she started using me for leverage.

Her soft whimpers started turning into loud moans and I knew she was close. “You feel so good, baby. So warm and wet around me,” I told her and, just as I wanted, her movements got more frantic. “Once we’re done here, we’re going to get in the shower and you can suck my cock. I know you love that.”

“Yes,” she breathed out.

“Tell me.”

“I love it. Love having you in my mouth. Love tasting you, making you lose control,” she panted, her movements speeding up again.

“Then I’m going to spread you out on our bed and make _you_ lose control. I’ll lick your pussy, fuck you with my tongue until you can’t take it anymore. Then, I’m going to fuck you, hard and fast because you’re too goddamn gorgeous for your own good.” There wasn’t a sight in the world that compared to Bella underneath me, her head thrown back in ecstasy. Nothing.

Her nails dug into my back so hard I would be surprised if I wasn’t bleeding.

“But then, baby, then I’ll make love to you. Slow and sweet like you deserve. I’ll draw out our release for hours, slowly moving inside you. Slowly driving us both insane, but it’ll be worth it.”

“ _Edward_.”

I took over then. I wrapped an arm around her waist, another up her back, and stilled her movements. With just a few thrusts of my hips I had her crying out, her entire body shaking in my arms as she came, pulling my own release from me. My eyes blacked out for a second or two.

After a few moments to catch our breath I lifted Bella in my arms as I stood and headed for the stairs. I had a few promises to keep.

_..Sick.._

“He doesn’t even look hungover. And he beat us here,” Jasper mumbled as he got out of Emmett’s Jeep.

My first day as the head of the Cullen family and I had to spend it searching my parent’s home to evidence of what kind of shit Carlisle had gotten us into. It wasn’t how I wanted to spend my day, but it was necessary. I did have one hell of a celebration with Bella last night. And another little one this morning.

“There’s no hangover big brown eyes can’t cure,” I told them.

When we were in the house, everything felt off. Carlisle and Esme had lived here for about eight years. It was odd to be in it without either of them present. I’m sure it had happened before, but never like this, under these circumstances.

“You guys look around down here. I’ll be in Carlisle’s office.” That was where I would find the most information. He had to have left some kind of trail.

Carlisle’s office here was nearly an exact replica of the office from the home I grew up in. I could picture it perfectly, remember all of the times I sat across from him and admired the way he worked. I looked up to my father at one time, admired him even. With every passing day that admiration turned into hate.

I sat in his chair and started shifting through all of the papers. Everything was normal, there were no red flags. I sat back and put myself into the mindset of my father, trying to hide something from myself. _Where would I never go, what would I never touch?_

My eyes shifted to the bookshelf in the corner. There was a handful of medical books on the top shelf. Carlisle had always been interested in medicine and liked to entertain the fantasy of doctor from time to time. I always hated doctors. Hated going, hated learning anything remotely medical related. It bored the shit out of me.

I went to the bookcase and pulled out every book related to medicine and shuffled through them one by one. I immediately felt the difference when I picked up one of them. It was too light. I flipped open the cover and sure enough, the pages had been neatly cut out and folded up envelopes stuffed into the center.

Taking the book back to the desk, I read all about my father’s lies and deceit. He and Aro wrote fucking letters back and forth. _How quaint_. Most of it was about what we had found out yesterday. I didn’t know what Carlisle had said back to him but having Aro’s letters was a good start. There was more though, there had to be.

I leaned over the desk and looked around the room, searching for some kind of clue I missed. As I strummed my fingers on the oak desk, the hollow thud caught my attention. I tested it around the desk, but there was only one hollow patch.

“Sneaky bastard,” I grumbled, looking around for how he got into his secret spot. I noticed a small dot on the desk. I pulled out a paper clip from the jar in the corner and pushed down. After a satisfying click, a small hatch popped up, two pieces of paper hidden inside.

The paper was old, too old to be a letter from Aro. I unfolded it carefully and read.

_Carlisle,_

_The Volturi’s are coming for me. By the time you read this, they’ll have already gotten to me, I’m sure. I have kept a few things from you, my son, but it is time you know so you can be the leader the Cullen’s need._

_I had all Volturi’s followed from a young age. A few years ago it paid off when I found Aro having an affair with a sixteen-year-old student from a small town in Washington named Sasha Delov. The girl got pregnant, but she didn’t keep it. I’ve attached a copy of the picture, the proof you’ll need. With my death, the Volturi’s will think the scandal dies with me. I’ll have the original with me when they come._

_Save this for when you are truly able to take down the whole family. This information is worth more than an arranged marriage. If necessary, find the child. Do what has to be done to keep the Cullen’s in power, where we should be._

_I trust you._

_Ronan_

“Fuck,” I breathed out, staring at the attached picture. I had seen it before. I had seen the woman dropping the newborn in the garbage.

_Bella._

She was Aro Volturi’s daughter.

I pulled out my phone and called Carlisle, pacing the room as I waited for him to answer.

“Edward,” he said in greeting.

“Did you know?” I asked. “Did you know that night at the benefit who she was?”

“You found the letter.”

“Did you fucking know?” I shouted.

“No. I put the pieces together after I found out you were seeing her.”

I ended the call by hurling my phone at the wall. I grabbed the important papers from the desk and got out as fast as possible. I passed by Emmett and Jasper and ignored all of their questions as I got in my car and left.

Once I was back home I stood in the doorway of Bella’s office. The part of my brain that was strictly professional told me to ransack her things, look for signs that she was working with Aro. The second the idea popped into my mind I regretted it.

This was _Bella_. The girl who got violently ill when she found out what my job really was, who wrote me a song after only one weekend together. The one who tore herself up inside because she thought I hated her for making her movie.

She wasn’t working for him. She didn’t know Charlie and Renee weren’t her parents until we went to Forks.

Bella was mine. I wasn’t going to let Aro take her away from me.

Hours later, after I had to explain to Emmett and Jasper what I found, I was sitting on the couch, drink in hand, waiting for Bella. I just needed to see her. I heard the door open and then soft humming as she came in.

“There you are. I tried calling you but you never answered,” she said, situating herself on the couch next to me.

I looked down at her. She had a sheen of sweat on her face from her rehearsal and her hair up in a knot on top of her head. She smiled up at me and leaned over to give me a soft kiss before she rested her head on my shoulder.

“My phone broke.”

“It broke, or you broke it?” she asked with a laugh.

“A wall may have been involved,” I admitted. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head and sighed. “I love you, Bella.”

Bella pulled away and looked at me. Something in my voice must have given me away. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you still apprehensive about your new… position?”

My worries from last night seemed ridiculous now. I had the need for revenge, and nothing would stop me now that I was in charge.

“No. I had you to make me feel better,” I told her and I got a blinding smile in response.

“I helped?”

“You did.”

“I’m glad. I feel like… you’re always taking care of me. You never need me to take care of you.”

I frowned at that. “I always need you, Bella. I have to go back to work tonight, but I just needed to see you before I left. Five minutes with you erases a whole day of shit. You take care of me even when you don’t know it.”


	13. Look What You Made Me Do

_I don’t like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me. You asked me for a place to sleep, locked me out, and threw a feast. The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama. But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma. And then the world moves on but one thing’s for sure. Maybe I got mine, but you’ll all get yours. ~ Taylor Swift, Look What You Made Me Do_

_..Sick.._

**Be ready in an hour. I’m taking you to dinner.**

I sent Bella a text as I finished up my work for the night. It was the last night before her tour started, and I planned on spoiling my girl. We hadn’t had the time to take advantage of actually being able to go out together. She was busy rehearsing and I was busy planning my revenge on the entire Volturi family.

It wouldn’t be enough to simply take out Aro. I wanted to ruin him. It was infuriating, but the first step was simply to get as much information as we could. It would take a long time to actually take any action, but it would be worth it.

I had to tell Bella the truth about what I had found, but I couldn’t do it yet. She was stressed enough as it was with her upcoming shows. I wouldn’t add to it.

I found her in the bathroom when I got home, braiding her hair with music blaring through the built in speakers. She didn’t hear me approach, but I caught her eyes in the mirror so I didn’t scare her. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I leaned in and kissed her cheek.

“You look beautiful.”

“Is this okay? You didn’t tell me where we were going.”

I looked down at her. She had on a flowy black dress that stopped mid-thigh. “You’re perfect.”

I watched her as she put on her jewelry. She never wore anything I didn’t give her. She had other pieces, but they were never worn anymore. She loved the bracelet I gave her for her for the first birthday I celebrated with her, and she never took off the necklaces I gave her the night of our wedding. Not once had I seen her without it on.

“So, what’s the occasion?” Bella asked as I drove us downtown.

“Since when do I need an occasion to take my wife to dinner?”

“I suppose you don’t.”

The truth was I felt constantly guilty around her. I felt like every word out of my mouth was a lie. Giving her trinkets and taking her to dinner didn’t make up for anything, but it made her smile for now.

Being out with Bella was always different. Sometimes people approached her, asked for a picture or just wanted to talk with her. There were times when people heckled, but most in Chicago knew not to do that with me around.

As I pulled her chair out for her at our secluded table, I heard a soft chuckle from her.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, sitting down across from her.

“People are terrified of you,” she chuckled. “Everyone in the restaurant practically held their breath as you walked through, like they thought you were going to shoot up the place.”

“Mmm. I would never do that with you here,” I told her as I looked over the menu.

“You’re not as scary as you think you are.”

“You’re the only one in the city who isn’t scared of me,” I told her honestly. At least once a month there was an article that accused me of murder. More often than not they were right, but they could never prove it.

Of course, now that I was in charge I sent others to do my bidding. _Semantics_.

_..Sick.._

“We have a problem.”

Emmett and Jasper barged into my office ten minutes before I was supposed to leave. Bella’s first show was tonight, and I told her I would be at the stadium in an hour.

“It can wait,” I told them.

“No, it can’t. Three of our guys were just attacked, one didn’t make it.”

“ _Fuck_. Who?”

I spent the rest of the day dealing with the fact that two paid hires where after our people. Thankfully, no one else was attacked. We only lost one, a guard named Murphy, but it was one too many. I didn’t like my men being targeted. I didn’t like feeling beaten.

Within the first hour after the attacks Liam had one of the men tied up in a storage hanger ready to give up his accomplice. Once we had his information, Emmett and Jasper went out to bring him in as well.

I checked the clock and saw it was later than I had realized. I sent Bella flowers earlier, hoping I would still be able to see her before the show, but I still had too much shit to deal with here.

 **I’m so fucking sorry.  
**I texted her, but I never got a response. She _should_ be pissed at me. She’d had to put up with a lot lately, late nights and blood covered clothes were a common occurrence at our house. While they were normal to me, Bella had never even been pulled over for speeding.

I pushed my wife from my thoughts and focused on what I needed to. Getting revenge for the man we lost today. 

Being the boss, there wasn’t much I had to do, personally, to get the guys. It was an odd feeling, because I was so used to being the one to go get the bastards for Carlisle. Things were different now, but better. Better, because we didn’t have an unreliable leader.

I kept tabs on the men I had out, making sure everyone was where they needed to be to get the last guy. This was what I liked about my job. The strategy, the challenge, letting people know they couldn’t fuck with us.

“We’ve got him,” Emmett said, breathless over the phone.

“Take him to his friend. I’ll be there within two hours.” I had a wife to apologize to first.

When I walked in the door my phone rang. I expected it to be Bella, she should be on her way home now, but it was Carlisle.

“What do you want?” I asked, making my way to my office.

“I heard about what happened. It’s a test, you know.”

“Of course I know.” I shouted at him.

It was obviously a test. People wanted to see what kind of leader I was. They would push my buttons until they thought they couldn’t. In a few hours they would realize they made a mistake.

Movement caught my eyes and I saw Bella walk past my office with a sad smile.

“Don’t call me again.” I had no interest in talking with my father. I would find out who told him about today and make it damn clear no one was to give him any information.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before I found Bella. She was in the shower, so I quickly stripped and joined her. With kisses on her neck and my arms around her waist, I apologized.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she shrugged.

“It’s not. It won’t be like this forever, I promise. Shit just… got out of control tonight.”

Bella turned around and leaned her head back under the water, rinsing out the soap from her hair. It didn’t escape my notice that she hadn’t looked me in the eyes yet. “I understand.”

I cupped her cheeks and forced her head up enough to look at me. “I really am sorry.”

She leaned up and gave me a quick peck on the lips, but I turned it into a deeper kiss, my tongue massaging hers until I got a satisfying moan out of her. I pressed her into the cold tile and slid my hands along her sides, squeezing her warm flesh.

I wasn’t good at apologizing, but I was good at making her feel good. “Let me make it up to you,” I told her as I started trailing kisses down her chest and over her abdomen.

“You don’t have to,” she breathed out, but I could hear the desire in her voice. _Just feel, baby._

I kissed and sucked and nibbled on my favorite spot at her hip, the one where my name was permanently etched in her skin. With a strong grip on both of her thighs, I lifted her so they were on my shoulders. I rested two hands on her lower back to keep her steady, and then took one long lick along her pussy.

I played with her, flicking my tongue along her clit and sucking on it hard enough to get a loud moan from her. I smiled against her as she started to squirm against me.

“More.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I shifted one of my hands to the center of her back and brought the other to her center. I didn’t tease her anymore, instead I gave it to her just how I knew she liked it; my fingers plunging in fast and hard while my tongue toyed with her clit.

“Tell me how it feels, Bella.”

“So – ah – so good,” she grunted out. I looked up at her from between her thighs as she looked down at me. Our eyes met, for just a moment, before hers rolled back into her head and her pussy clenched around my fingers.

I held her against me as she calmed down, and then gently placed her feet back on the floor.

“You… you’re forgiven,” she said through her panting. Bella leaned her head against my chest as she caught her breath, her lips hovering over the tattoo over my heart.

I shut off the water and pulled her out of the shower with me. I wrapped a towel around her shoulders and then one around my waist.

“What are you doing?” Bella asked as I started to get dressed in my discarded clothes.

“I have to go back to work.”

“So, you just came home for… that?” Bella swept her arm behind her, motioning to the shower.

“I came home to apologize to you,” I told her, unsure what the issue here was.

“Sex doesn’t solve everything, Edward,” she snapped.

“Well, you did say I was forgiven, so it solved this issue.”

Her eyes widened a bit as she looked at me, and then she snapped her head to the ground. _Fuck_. I shouldn’t have snapped at her.

Bella turned her back to me and pulled on a grey robe over her towel. It was a simple act, but I saw the meaning behind her not simply dropping the towel like she usually did. She was hiding herself from me.

“You’re right. Give me an orgasm and I forgive anything,” Bella said, mostly to herself I think, and started to walk past me out of the bathroom.

“ _Hey_ ,” I grunted, grabbing her arm as she passed. “Do not talk about yourself like that. We have sex because we’re in a loving, committed marriage. I _like_ giving you orgasms. Yes, I use it to apologize sometimes because I’m not good at admitting I did something wrong. But I don’t think any less of you because of it.”

Bella’s shoulders sagged and I dropped her arm. She sat at the vanity in the corner. “I really wanted you there tonight.”

I sighed and knelt in front of her. “I know. I wanted to be there, too.”

“Was it important? What you had to do?”

“Yes,” I replied immediately. “I wouldn’t have missed tonight if it wasn’t.”

“Okay, then.”

_..Sick.._

I walked down the hall of the stadium, doing my best to ignore the stares of the various crew members around me. The ones employed by Bella kept their eyes away from me, but the ones working for the stadium stopped and stared. Maybe it was just me, being Bella’s husband that caught their attention. Or maybe it was the two body-builder like guards that flanked me.

I heard the commotion before I rounded the hall to Bella’s dressing room. I recognized the man immediately. Bulky arms, dark hair, tan skin… Jacob Black.

“Come on, Bella. Don’t be like that. Let me in,” he pleaded.

I stood back and looked at him for a minute. I had never had the unfortunate luck of meeting Jacob. I’d heard plenty of stories. He was older, nearing forty. I could see a few grey hairs near his temple, but he still had the muscles of a man who never left the gym.

“Are you harassing my wife?” I asked as I approached him. I held my hand out behind me, motioning for the guards to stop as I finished my approach.

Jacob snorted. “ _Wife_. We all know that was a publicity stunt. Bella always knew how to get people talking.”

I ignored the insult, for now, and pulled at the backstage pass he had hanging around his neck. I knew for a fact Bella wouldn’t have given that to him.

“We all know you’re not Elliot Collins, too.” I pulled the string, hearing it snap against his neck as it fell from around him.

I knocked on the door behind me. “Open up, Bella.”

I heard a quiet “Oh, shit,” from behind the door before it swung open to reveal Bella and Kate.

“He’s been out here for half an hour. I told him to go away,” Bella said, her frustration evident in her voice.

“What do you want, Mr. Black?”

“I just wanted to catch up with an old… _friend_ ,” he said with a cocky smile. The way he said friend made it clear what he wanted, and it was anything but friendly. A few months ago, I would have let it slide. Maybe. But after the past month of dealing with Carlisle’s mess, of coming to terms with Bella’s parentage, I was in no mood for his innuendos.

Then the fucker had the nerve to reach out and touch Bella’s cheek, despite her flinching away from him. I had the offending hand twisted behind his back and his body pushed into the door-jam.

“Touch my wife again and your child will grow up without a father.” Yes, Jacob Black was hitting on my wife while his wife was at home, four months pregnant. Bastard.

“Jesus, man, fine. I’ll leave her alone.”

I could hear the fear in his voice. I let him go, but as he turned away I heard him mumble, “Bitch isn’t worth it, anyway.”

So, I slammed his head against the wall. There was only a little stain on the wall. Most of the blood from his nose spilled onto his shirt. I motioned for Keith, one of my guards, to take care of him.

With the door closed behind Bella and me, I handed her the pass Jacob had. “You might want to find Elliot Collins.”

Bella sighed and grabbed the pass. “He called. Said he couldn’t make it and thought Jacob might have taken his pass.”

“He should be more careful with his things. Anyone could have taken it and gotten to you.”

“Well, lucky for me I have a husband that’ll scare away any unwanted advances.”

I sat with Bella while she got ready. We talked about the last few shows that I hadn’t been able to attend. As I watched her talk so animatedly about her job I couldn’t help but feel guilty. She had told me she was planning on taking time off, but I didn’t know if it was for her benefit or mine.

“Are you sad this is the last show?” I asked, playing with her fingers while Chrissy did her makeup. I had no clue applying makeup for a two-hour performance would take nearly as long as the show, but apparently it does.

“No, I don’t think so. It’s been fun just doing a few. It makes them more special. Besides, I miss you. I don’t like only seeing you once or twice a week. I’m ready to be in one place for a while.”

Her show was perfect, of course. It was astounding to me, seeing a crowd of 80,000 people screaming for my wife. I let them have her for two hours, but the rest of the time she was mine.

_..Sick.._

I hated formal events. Always had. Being the head of the family unfortunately meant that I had to attend more than I had in the past. For appearances sake. Emmett and Jasper got a good laugh at my expense because they didn’t have to go to whatever this thing was tonight. It was a charity event or a business opening. Whatever it was, I didn’t care.

Bella was meeting me, though. She stayed in Los Angeles a few extra days after her last show, just to get some of her affairs in order. She would be in Chicago for the foreseeable future. I was pretty damn excited to know that, for now, she would be with me, constantly.

“Edward, darling, you look well.”

I groaned internally at the whiny voice. I downed my scotch quickly and handed the glass to a waiter as they passed. “Tanya.”

I had no patience for dealing with her, not after the interviews she did after Bella and I announced our marriage. Thankfully, people lost interest in her stories after a few days, but it was still crossing a line.

“I miss you,” she said, running her hand and long, fake nails along my arm. I purposely took a step out of her reach.

“I’m happily married.”

“Oh, please. We all know you’re not a one-woman man, Edward.”

“I’m not cheating on my wife,” I grunted out. _God, how can Bella be remotely related to this woman?_

A familiar hand wrapped around my bicep. I looked down and smiled at Bella as she looked up at me. _Fuck, I missed you._

Bella looked over at Tanya, no doubt recognizing her, and held her hand out. “I’m sorry, we haven’t met. I’m Bella Cullen.”

I barely suppressed my laughter. Tanya was obviously offended Bella didn’t recognize her, though I knew it was an act.

“Tanya,” she scoffed, and ignored Bella’s outstretched hand.

Unacceptable. “Don’t disrespect my wife.”

The rest of the night went by without any further incidents from Tanya. I pulled us away from the crowd as soon as it was acceptable, but as we were leaving my name was called. The voice made my blood run cold.

Aro Volturi.

“Don’t say anything,” I whispered to Bella as Aro approached with Elena Rossi on his arm. Jesus, it was an ambush. Those were her _parents_. Her flesh and blood. The people who should have raised her.

I was suddenly very thankful for Charlie Swan.

“Aro, I don’t recall you being on the guest list this evening,” I said as he approached.

“Oh, I wasn’t dear boy. I just had someone I wanted your lovely wife to meet.” _No, no, no._ “Isabella, this is Elena Rossi.”

I kept my arm tight around Bella, keeping her from getting close enough to either of them for so much as a handshake.

“Hello,” Bella said softly. Surely she recognized Rossi from the picture I showed her. She knew she had blacklisted this woman.

I saw the sinister smirk on Aro’s face. I knew what he was about to do. “Don’t do this to her here.”

“Ah, how else am I supposed to get to her? You keep her so… well guarded,” Aro said, and then looked at me, his vengeance clear on his face. “Not that you need to protect her from me. I am her father, after all.”

_I’m sorry, baby. So sorry._

All I could do was grip Bella’s waist as Aro spoke to Bella.

“I went through a bit of a rebellious phase in my youth and met Elena in Port Angeles in Washington twenty-four years ago.”

Rossi stepped forward, her arms reaching for Bella slowly.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” I snapped.

“She’s my daughter. She’s mine.”

Bella backed away, so I stepped with her. “I’m not your daughter. You left me in a fucking trashcan.”

“I had to, baby. I wasn’t ready to settle down. But, look at you now! You followed my dreams, and now you can help me, too. I always dreamed of being an actress. Going to fancy award shows, having people fawn all over me… you can help me be there, right by you!”

I pulled Bella away, placing myself slightly in front of her, between her and Rossi. “Stay away from her.”

The drive home was silent. There was a lot to be said, but nothing yet. We needed privacy. She needed a familiar surrounding before I tore everything apart. As soon as we were home Bella ran out of the car and up to our bedroom. I found her hunched over the toilet, expelling the contents of her stomach until there was nothing left. 

“You need to calm down, Bella. It’s okay. I’ve got you, you’re fine.” I repeated over and over until she was breathing normally. Once she had calmed down, she brushed her teeth and I helped her change out of her dress and into more comfortable clothes.

Then I told her everything.

Ronan and Dontai’s stories. The decades long rivalry between our families. The little girl who was almost used as ammunition to fight the war.

“I’m everything you hate,” she whispered when I was done. _I could never hate you, no matter who your parents are._

“No, you’re not. You’re not a Volturi, Bella. You’re a Cullen, through and through. Never think otherwise.”

Bella had my left hand clasped between hers, and I could feel her twirling my wedding band around my finger. I loved it when she played with it, reminded me that it was there. My moment of peace was crushed when she asked the one questions I didn’t want to answer.

“How do you know all of this?”

I sighed before answering, “It’s my job. Aro is our biggest threat, I needed to know what he was up to.”

“So… you’ve known. All of this? For how long?”

My first instinct was to lie. There would be a very slim chance she would ever find out it was a lie. I could tell her I found out just days before, and I was simply waiting for her to come home to tell her. But, meeting and falling in love with Bella turned me in to a more honest man, at least with her.

“A couple of months. I found out after Carlisle left.”

She pulled her hands roughly away from mine. “You’ve known for _months_?” I nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s my job to keep you safe. This would have just hurt you, confused you. You were on tour and I didn’t want to distract you.” I was planning on telling her eventually. She needed to know, but I wanted our lives, or at least her life, to be a little calmer before I disrupted it again.

There was also a part of me that had been hoping to find some kind of evidence that none of it was true, but that never happened.

“Bullshit,” Bella spat out. “This is my life I deserved to know the second you knew.”

“Bella, you know there are things I can’t tell you –“

“I know! I don’t ask about your work, Edward. I don’t ask about the articles that mention you, and I don’t ask questions when you leave the house a two in the morning. But I robbed a fucking bank for you. I blacklisted that… _woman_ because you asked me to. I was part of this and I deserved to fucking know!”

That was precisely why I didn’t want her to know. I couldn’t have her acting any differently around the Volturi, and I certainly didn’t want her getting into the middle of this.

“No! You’re my wife, Bella, you’re not part of this side of things.” _I can’t have you in the middle of this, baby._

A slideshow of emotions crossed her face; anger, sadness, betrayal, they were all there. I watched her as she grabbed a blanket and pillow off of the bed and went for the door. I grabbed her arm as she passed me.

“I was just trying to protect you.”

She pulled her arm away and walked out.

_..Sick.._

“Infuriating woman,” I grumbled to myself, half asleep, as I stumbled down the hall to the guestroom. It was three in the morning and I was exhausted. I needed my four hours, and I couldn’t get them in an empty bed.

It had been four days since Bella said a word to me, four days since she found out about Aro. She went to bed in the guestroom but I never let her stay there for long. I needed her with me to sleep, and I knew she needed me to get a full night’s sleep, too. She never put up much of a fight as I carried her to bed.

When I pulled her into my arms tonight, she seemed to be half asleep. If I timed things just right, sometimes I got a mumble or two from her as I carried her. I would take what I could get, because I wasn’t in the wrong here. This was my territory, and I did what I had to in order to keep her safe. I wouldn’t apologize for that.

As I held her to my chest, her head leaned against my shoulder. I squeezed her tighter to me, enjoying the closeness while I could.

Bella sighed against me, mumbling my name. “Love you,” she whispered.

“I love you, too, Bella,” I told her, even though I was pretty sure she was still mostly asleep.

Even though this was the worst fight we’d ever had, I still knew I had her, still knew that she would stand by me no matter what. We were just both too stubborn for our own good.

In the morning, I caressed her cheek lightly as she started to wake. “Good morning.”

When Bella’s eyes first opened, she was happy, content, as she looked at me with a smile. Then her eyes got sad again. I hated her sad eyes.

Later that afternoon I called her. I was surprised when she answered, hopeful that she would actually respond to me this time.

“Bella.”

I could hear her breathing on the line, but that was it. We stayed on the line for two minutes, but she never said anything.

A week after Bella found out, I came home from work to find her hunched over on the couch sobbing. I didn’t know if her tears were for the news that Aro was her father, or if they were because of me. I took a chance and sat next to her, gently pulling her into me.

“It’s okay,” I told her. “It’ll all be okay.”

Bella let me hold her for a while, until her tears stopped. Then she wiped her face and retreated to the guestroom. It was a step in the right direction at least, that she let me comfort her as she cried.

A week and a half into my freeze out I started going insane. I started working from home more after I found Bella crying on the couch a few days earlier. I didn’t want her home alone all the time with nothing but her overactive thoughts to distract her. Not that she ever let me distract her, but at least she wasn’t alone.

“She still isn’t talking to you?” Emmett asked late one night after a meeting with some of our men.

“No,” I grunted out, impossibly frustrated with the entire situation.

“She told me she just needed some time,” Jasper said matter-of-factly.

My head snapped to him. “She talked to you?”

“Uh, yeah. I dropped off those files for you and she was there. I just asked her how she was doing, and she said she needed time before she talked about it.”

Well, fuck. Did she not know Emmett and Jasper knew about it just as long as I had? I shouldn’t be the only one frozen out.

“Come over tomorrow afternoon. You need to tell her you knew, too. I’ll be damned if I’m the only one getting punished for this shit.”

They were there the next afternoon. We were gathered around the kitchen, waiting for Bella to finish her workout in the basement. I knew as soon as she was done she would come in here to make a smoothie. It had become her routine.

Sure enough, a few minutes later she walked into the kitchen, swaying her hips to the music in her ears. She pulled out her headphones and dropped her phone on the counter.

“Emmett, Jasper,” she said in greeting. It infuriated me. Why would she forgive them and not me?

“How’s, uh, how’s it going, Bella?” Emmett asked her. He was obviously nervous. They both adored Bella, they valued her opinion and always treated her with respect. It was a dick move on my part to make them tell her they knew the whole time, but I was tired of my wife ignoring me.

“I’m okay, you?” she asked, moving around the kitchen to get her supplies. I placed myself in front of the refrigerator, blocking her from the key ingredients of her smoothie. Again, it was a dick move, but I was desperate.

“I’m, uh, good,” Emmett said, but I wasn’t paying attention to him anymore.

Bella stood in front of me and waited about ten seconds to see if I would politely move out of her way. When I didn’t, one of her hands reached for my crotch. It shocked the hell out of me the first time she did it, but I quickly realized it was just her way to distract me to get me out of her way.

I caught her wrist before she could touch me. “Not this time, sweetheart.”

Her other hand got past me and I groaned as her warm hand stroked my length a few times, instantly getting me to harden under her touch. It was enough to distract me to be shoved out of her way.

“Man, she’s literally got him by the balls,” Jasper whispered, and I glared at him from across the kitchen. _Damn, if it wasn’t true, though._

Bella had all of her fruit laid out on the counter and started chopping things up when Emmett spoke again.

“Shit, she’s got a knife. We’re not doing this now, Edward.”

I rolled my eyes at him, and Bella’s hands froze over her fruit.

“Doing what?”

Emmett was too much of a pussy to answer her, but Jasper stepped up. “Well, Edward wanted us to tell you that we knew about it too. The whole Volturi situation.”

Bella shrugged. “Yes, I assumed you both did. You’re part of the family business. I’m just used whenever people deem me useful.”

She felt used? I never pushed her into anything, never even wanted her to do the small things she had done for us.

“So why are you talking to us?” Emmett asked.

“Neither of you are my husband. You don’t owe me anything.”

Fuck. “Bella,” before I could say anything other than her name she started the blender, effectively cutting me off.

“We don’t tell Alice or Rosalie about these things, Bella. It’s not safe for them to know, just like it wasn’t safe for you to know,” Jasper said as soon as the room was quiet again.

“It wasn’t safe of me to steal that photo from be bank, either. You all had no problem letting me do that,” Bella said, pouring her drink.

This fight was about much more than me not telling her about Aro. I got it all, now. Why she kept feeling like she was my whore, as she put it. _Jesus, how did I not see it before?_

“It was for your own good, Bella,” I said, because it was my only defense now. I stood next to her, not touching her, but just feeling her warmth next to me.

“I’ve been lied to and deceived about this my whole life. No one has ever told me the truth unless they were backed into it. I’ve been used for other people’s personal gain more times than I can count. I just never thought you would be one of the people doing that to me.” She looked at me as she spoke, weeks of hurt still in her eyes. “So, excuse me for needing some time to fucking deal with it.”

With that, Bella brushed past me out of the kitchen.

“Fuck,” I said to myself.

“You really fucked up,” Emmett said with a frown.

“At least I know what’s going on in her head now. That’s the most I’ve heard her talk in two weeks.”

_..Sick.._

A few days later there was a nasty storm. They never bothered me, but I knew Bella would be miserable. She hated storms, always jumping at the sound of thunder or the wind knocking branches against the house. Usually she would find me and sit with me, wherever I was. She didn’t like being alone during the storm. I hated her being alone.

After hearing her talk to Emmett and Jasper a few days ago I needed to compose my thoughts before I talked to her again. I hated her feeling used, but I didn’t know how to tell her that wasn’t how it was without making things worse.

Three quick knocks on the doorframe pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked up from my laptop and saw Bella standing in the doorway, wrapped up in a blanket with a pillow clutched to her chest.

“It’s your bedroom, Bella, you don’t have to knock.”

“You were just trying to protect me,” she mumbled.

I sighed and pushed my glasses to the top of my head. “I was just trying to protect you. I’m sorry I went about it the wrong way. For what it’s worth, I would have told you soon.”

Bella scampered across the room and knelt on the bed next to me. “I’m sorry I ignored you.”

A bolt of lightning lit up the room followed by a crash of thunder. I saw Bella’s body shudder. I closed my computer and set it and my glasses on the bedside table. “Come here.”

I had a lot of apologizing to do, but I wasn’t going to do it while she was exhausted and scared of the storm raging outside. I pulled her into me, her arms wrapped around my chest and her legs intertwined with mine.

“I’ve missed you,” she mumbled, but I could tell she was already half asleep. We could talk more in the morning.

I didn’t plan on waking up with my cock in her mouth, and I didn’t plan on spending all morning buried inside her, making up for two weeks of celibacy. But we both needed it, needed to reconnect in the most intimate of ways.

I left Bella to sleep in the bed around noon. She was still fast asleep after I showered, so I let her be for now. It was another hour before she woke up and stumbled into my office. She plopped herself on the couch, pulling the blanket I kept for her there into her lap.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hey.” I went and sat next to her. “We need to talk.” Her eyes went wide and I could see the anxiety written all over her face. “It’s nothing bad, I promise.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel used in our relationship. I know I’ve asked you to do things for me, things I shouldn’t have, but please know you can always tell me no if I overstep.”

I paused and pulled her left hand into my lap. “I don’t love you for your job or the things you do for me. I love you because you’re you. I love you because you care so deeply about the people around you, and you appreciate hard work. I love you for a million different reasons. Have I ever told you the moment I realized I was in love with you?”

“No.”

“It was a week after my trip to Los Angeles. I had just gotten into a fight with Carlisle, which wasn’t unusual. I met you in your hotel room in Arizona after your show. I had you wrapped around me in the shower. You had makeup running down your face, but you just looked at me with this gorgeous smile and leaned down to kiss my nose.

“You started asking me what was wrong. I couldn’t tell you the truth, and it killed me, but you got me to talk about as much as I could. You took care of me.”

“I don’t recall being very helpful,” she said.

“You were there for me when I needed you. There is no greater help than that,” I told her honestly. “My point is, I love you and I don’t want you to feel used, physically or emotionally.”

“I know you love me. I’ve never doubted it. I just… I get used a lot, I think. Not by you. By people trying to use my name to get what they want, by Charlie and Renee, and now Aro. It just makes me feel… dirty. Like I did something wrong, even though I had no control over it.

“I didn’t like that you didn’t tell me about the Aro situation right when you found out, but I understand that decision now. It just… it felt like what people used to do. String me along, never telling me the complete truth.”

_Jesus_. Her life in Hollywood affected her more than I realized. It had to be unbearable, being someone of Bella’s status and never knowing if someone actually wanted to know you or if they wanted a favor from you. Then I pulled her into my world where she faced the same issues, only the consequences were much bigger.

Bella sighed and situated herself over my lap. “You’re the only person in the world I trust completely,” she told me.

I stared at her, shocked. After every lie I had told her. After deceiving her for months about who I truly was, after being the reason she was hunted down and shot, she still trusted me completely.

“I promise not to keep something like that from you again, and I promise to do everything in my power to make sure Aro Volturi never gets near you again.”

My promise was easier said than done, because the next morning I got word that Aro had supposedly disappeared two days ago.


	14. Getaway Car

_It was the great escape, the prison break. The light of freedom on my face. But you weren’t thinkin’, and I was just drinkin’. Well, he was runnin’ after us, I was screaming ‘Go, go, go!’ But with three of us, honey, it’s a sideshow. And a circus ain’t a love story, and now we’re both sorry. ~ Taylor Swift, Getaway Car_

_..Sick.._

“What do we know so far?” I asked Emmett and Jasper as we walked into my office.

“His wife reported him missing exactly forty-eight hours after she says she last saw him. Exactly,” Emmett said.

“So, she was told when to call and report it, when the police would take it seriously,” I said.

“Yes. But that’s all the police have. They don’t have any evidence, yet. No ransom note, no crime scene, all they have to go on is his wife’s statement.”

I sat back in my chair, trying to figure out the options. I only saw two. Either Aro was actually missing, in which the captors’ list was endless. The Cullen’s weren’t the only ones who hated the Volturi family, we were just usually the only ones who had enough power to stand up to them.

The second option was that it was all planned. Aro wasn’t actually missing, he was hiding. Waiting for the time to strike. Waiting for the police to arrest whoever he framed for his kidnapping.

Most likely myself.

I took extensive precautions to make sure no aspects of my DNA were available for people to steal. After we ate at restaurants I had people personally make sure all plates and glasses were cleaned. Hair was the only real issue I had. But it could usually be explained if it ended up near someone like Aro. We were business acquaintances, after all. It was a flimsy excuse, but it had worked for me in the past.

It had been three days since the police said he had been missing. I was expecting to be taken in for questioning at any time. For once, I would actually be innocent as they questioned me.

“Make sure you have your affairs in order,” I reminded them. It was only a matter of time before all of us were taken in. I had transferred a majority of my assets into Bella’s name, just in case.

I hadn’t told her any of this. I didn’t want her to worry. Things had just calmed down for us, I didn’t want her worrying about me getting arrested. Nothing would stick, anyway. It was odd, being innocent. A new concept for us.

**Meet me for lunch at noon?**

I sent Bella a quick text, needing her to break up what I knew was going to be a shitty day.

“Sir, there’s a Seth Clearwater here to see you,” Jessica’s voice came over the intercom.

“Send him in.”

Seth came in, looking like he hadn’t slept in days. “You all have three hours before each of you are arrested for Aro Volturi’s disappearance.”

“On what grounds?” I asked. It was odd that all three of us would be arrested at once. Usually they tried to pin everything on me.

“A shit ton of DNA at Volturi’s place. Forensics came back with everything. A splatter of Aro’s blood in his office, and prints, hair, and blood from all three of you.”

“How the fuck did that happen? None of us had anything to do with it!” I shouted. It was suspicious as hell to have that much physical evidence come back. It was too perfect.

“That’s all I know for now. The arrest warrants should be issued in about three hours,” Seth shrugged and left the office.

“The second mole,” Jasper said. “Carlisle said there was another one.”

“Who could have gotten all of that without us realizing it?” I asked. We had doctors that would have access to blood samples, but they wouldn’t have done this on their own. Someone would have had to either steal, coerce, or join forces with them. Fuck, it could be anyone.

Liam was always pissed that he never became more than a hit man. He just didn’t have the business mind to move up in the ranks. It could be any of the guards, displeased with something they heard us say or how they were treated. The only ones I trusted completely were Eric and Ben. They had been my own guards since I was fourteen. They were solid, that’s why I had them with Bella. It could be a lower level associate, a drug runner or distributor that just wanted to cause trouble. Fuck, the list was endless.

I hated finding rats. Dirty fucking business.

“We only have three hours. That’s not long enough to find the mole and solve this thing,” Emmett said.

“Who takes over if we’re all locked up? Liam, right?” Jasper asked.

It was supposed to be Liam. He wasn’t really qualified for it, but he was fourth in line. I didn’t trust him though. I didn’t trust anybody. But then Bella’s words from the other night came to my head.

_You’re the only person in the world I trust completely_ , she had told me. My list of trustees was a little longer, but a majority of them would be locked up with me.

I trusted Bella with everything. But could she handle what being in charge would mean? She would be responsible for the entire Cullen family workings, and E.C. Inc. That was a hell of a lot of responsibility for a twenty-two-year-old woman with only a high school education.

Flashes of her filled my mind. Her working on her film, being in charge of the multi-million-dollar project and executing it flawlessly. Bella at her tour rehearsal, surrounded by older, more experienced workers but taking charge effortlessly.

She could do it. I had complete faith in her, and unwavering trust.

“Bella.”

Emmett and Jasper both scoffed.

“ _Bella_. You want Bella to be in charge?” Jasper asked, understandably shocked at my decision.

“Do you have any better suggestions? We know she’s not the mole. She can handle it.”

“No offense Edward, but does she even know a thing about running your business? And how do you expect her to run the family business?”

“She won’t have to do much, just keep things functioning while we’re gone. We’ll get the charges dropped within a few days. She just has to keep an eye on things. She’s her own CEO, runs her career and brand image seamlessly. She can do it.”

They both reluctantly agreed. It wasn’t like I needed their permission anyway. I called in a few of our highest-ranking members. I had Daniel on the phone from Ireland, and my office was full of the biggest trusted Cullen associates. Not all were blood related. Mike, for example, had worked his way up since he was sixteen. He wasn’t a Cullen, but he had proven himself useful in working with younger kids, getting them to run drugs for us.

“Isabella Cullen will be in charge while we’re incarcerated,” I said, and the room went quiet.

“You’re putting your wife in charge?” Liam asked, obviously angry that this meeting wasn’t ending with him being the head of the family.

“Yes. She’s more than capable. We have a mole who is trying to pin Aro’s disappearance on us. She’s the only one I trust not to completely fuck us over while we’re gone. There will be no questioning her authority once I’m gone. End of discussion.”

Liam could be as mad as he wanted, but it would only hurt him in the long run. He calmed down after a minute, hopefully realizing that anything he said now would be an insult and likely leave him with a broken limb.

I got rid of everyone then, except for Emmett and Jasper. They both wrote touching letters to their wives, telling them not to worry. Unfortunately, my letter to Bella had to be more serious than a simple ‘I love you. I’ll see you soon.’ Liam was waiting outside to deliver the news and letters to our wives.

_Bella, I just got word that the police have evidence that ties Emmett, Jasper, and myself to Aro’s disappearance. I’m so sorry to do this to you, baby, but I need to put you in charge of everything. With all of us locked up the next in line would normally be Liam, but I don’t know who I can trust right now, except you. I’ve made all of the arrangements, no one will question your authority._

_You just have to keep things running until I get out. Trust Ben and Eric, but no one else. No one, Bella._

_I love you._

_Edward_

I sat back in my chair once my work was done, ten minutes to spare before the end of the three hour warning Seth had given us. I wanted to call Bella, tell her what was happening myself, but I knew that would worry her more and I didn’t think I could handle her crying over the phone. I would see her soon. The cops could never make anything stick, even if they had fabricated evidence.

I heard the commotion outside the office doors, and all three of us stood. The door swung open and Clearwater, Biers, and a few cops barged in, handcuffs ready.

“I’ve been waiting for you to fuck up for a long time, Cullen,” Biers said as he tightened the cuffs around my wrists. It had been a while since I was arrested. I forgot how uncomfortable the fucking cuffs were.

_..Sick.._

I sat in the interrogation room, still cuffed because the cops didn’t trust themselves enough to let me out. I was a high-security prisoner. Drumming my fingers, I waited. I had been here for about an hour, but no one had talked to me yet.

I looked at the mirror, the one I knew no less than three detectives were standing behind. “I’d like my phone call,” I said with a smirk.

A minute later the door swung open and Biers tossed an old, cordless phone at me. “You have two minutes,” he grunted, sitting across from me with a glare.

Bella answered after the first ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey, baby,” I said with a smile. Nothing got under a cop’s skin like using your phone call for a personal matter. They wanted me intimidated, wanted me calling every lawyer in town to try and get me out of here.

I just wanted to talk to my girl for a few minutes.

“Fuck, Edward. What the hell are you thinking? I can’t do this – “

“Yes, you can. I won’t be here long. A few days tops. I just need you to keep things running smoothly. I trust you, Bella.” I swear the fucker across from me growled.

“How are you even calling me?”

“I get one phone call, you know,” I laughed.

“Shit, shouldn’t you call a lawyer or – “

“My lawyer knows. He’ll be here soon. Are you okay?” She hadn’t said anything about the letter I wrote her. If Liam didn’t give it to her because he wanted to be in charge, he was a dead man.

“No. I have a stack of papers about shit I don’t know anything about in front of me. I’m sitting in your office with no fucking clue what I’m doing.”

Good. She knew. I also had to be careful not to let her talk about anything other than my legal business. The precinct recorded all of the calls.

“If you have any questions, ask Ben. He’s more than just a bodyguard. He’s been with us forever, he’ll help you with anything you need.” _Don’t worry. Stay calm. You can do it._

I heard a shuddering sigh from over the line, and I hated how much stress I was putting her under. I had no choice though. “You’ll be okay, right?” she asked, her voice small and scared.

“I’ll be fine. I promise.” I looked up at Biers motioning for me to wrap up the call. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll be home soon. I love you, Bella.”

Biers snatched the phone from me before I could hear her response. “I wouldn’t he so confident if I were you, Cullen. We’ve got quite a bit of evidence that puts you at the scene of a crime.”

“Evidence can be deceiving.”

“You’re not getting off on this one, Cullen.”

_..Sick.._

The fuckers had us locked up for a week. A week of constant questioning by nearly every detective in the city. Talking with the young ones was my favorite. Some of them actually left shaking. Playing with cops was a favorite pastime of mine.

I was impressed that they managed to keep the charges for this long. Jenks assured me that it was only a matter of time, and I trusted him. He had gotten us out of sticky situations in the past.

My conversations with him were the best part of my day, because he always brought a paper with him. Without a doubt, there was always an article about Bella on the front. She was doing fantastic running the company, just as I knew she would.

I didn’t know about the family side of the business, but I was sure she was keeping everything running smoothly. I hadn’t been allowed to talk to her, but I would see her soon. Hopefully.

I was lying on the cot in my cell, nearly asleep when I heard someone coming.

“Leave us the fuck alone,” Emmett grumbled from a cell nearby.

“Cullen, Cullen, and Hale, you’re free to go,” Biers grumbled. I saw two other cops go to let out Emmett and Jasper, then Biers approached me.

“Ah, finally got your head out of your ass, Biers?” I asked, smiling as I watched him unlocking the cell.

“Volturi turned up. Broke into a woman’s house. I heard he beat the shit out of her, but she had a gun and shot him.” he said, an odd smirk on his face. Aro was a bastard and we all knew it, but cops usually at least pretended to be upset when talking about someone’s death, no matter how revolting they were.

It was also a completely out of character move on Aro’s part. Breaking into a random home, attacking a woman for no reason? Why come out of hiding now, after he had gone through so much work to lock us up?

“Well, I’ll have to send the woman some flowers as a thank you,” I replied, itching for the moment the door opened and I could get out of here and go home to Bella.

“You can just get them on your way home,” Biers said, stopping me in my tracks as the door opened. _Get them on your way home_.

The woman Aro attacked… Fuck. _No_.

“Your wife was taken to the 19th precinct station. You can find here there.”

_Broke into a woman’s house. Beat the shit out of her_. Riley’s words repeated in my mind over and over. The discharging process never seemed to take this long before. They had us each sign what seemed like a hundred papers. I quickly changed into a black t-shirt and jeans, thankful to be out of the uniform we had to wear but desperate to get the fuck out of here.

As soon as we walked out the door I grabbed the keys from the guard there to pick us up. Emmett and Jasper jumped in the car but had more sense than to try and calm me down. So many different questions were running though my head, but the only constant thought was Bella. Why was she at the precinct in the first place? What exactly happened?

Jesus, Aro broke into our home. He attacked her. 

“Someone call Doctor Banner. Have him at the penthouse in half an hour,” I grunted out as we pulled up to the precinct. I skidded to a stop right out front, not caring that it wasn’t an actual parking spot and storming inside.

“Isabella Cullen,” I told the receptionist. She looked at me with wide, scared eyes. I’m sure I looked like a wild man. I had just spent a week in jail, and I spent the car ride pulling my hair out. I didn’t have time for her fear. “Isabella Cullen, is she here?”

“Y-yes, but she still needs to be questioned. We’re waiting for detective Biers to get here.”

That fucker. He had her sent here on purpose, just so I would have to wait to see her. “She’s not answering any of your questions. She’s the fucking victim! I’m taking her home, you can’t hold her here. I’ll bring her back later for her statement.” I shouted, looking around behind her to see if I could find Bella.

I heard the quick patter of feet and saw her as she ran toward me. I didn’t have time to study her appearance before she jumped in my arms. The second I had her she started sobbing, the sound practically tearing me apart.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. You’re safe now,” I told her over and over. I didn’t know where I could touch, didn’t know the extent of her injuries, but I took a chance and gently pulled her head from my neck.

“Jesus Christ,” I mumbled, looking at her face. She already had a black eye forming on her right side. She had a busted lip, dried blood on her chin. There was a nasty gash in her forehead, fresh blood still spilling out of it. I looked down at the rest of her and noticed she was in one of my old college shirts and a pair of boxers. She didn’t even have shoes on. _God, the level of incompetence in the Chicago Police Department is staggering_.

I set Bella on her feet behind me and turned back to the receptionist, and the small gathering of officers that had formed around us. “It isn’t protocol to take the goddamn victim straight in for questioning when she’s got a fucking gash in her head! She doesn’t even have shoes on! You’ll be lucky if I don’t sue this entire fucking department.”

I wrapped an arm around Bella’s waist and pulled her out the door. I tossed Emmett the car keys and helped Bella into the back seat. She sat across my lap, her arms wrapped around my neck and cried into my shoulder the entire drive.

Her eyes started to droop as I carried her up to the penthouse. “You can’t sleep yet, baby, I’m sorry. There’s a doctor here to look over you.”

When we got inside I set her on the couch. We didn’t live here anymore, but it was still completely furnished in case we ever needed to stay in the city. I pulled a blanket from behind her and wrapped it around her shoulders, but I froze when I got a better look at her shirt and the blood splatters that covered it.

Christ, she could be dead right now.

“It’s not mine,” she choked out. I could tell she was close to breaking down completely. She just didn’t want to do it in front of everyone. I took a small amount of comfort in the knowledge that most of the blood covering her wasn’t actually hers.

I pulled the blanket tight around her shoulder and moved to stand next to her. Banner knelt in front of her.

“Mrs. Cullen, can you tell me how you got this?” he asked, pointing to the cut on her forehead. He worked on cleaning her up as she talked. I winced every time I saw her flinch in pain. _Fuck, how did this happen?_

“Um, the desk I think,” Bella said, her voice small and broken.

“Ah. You’ll likely have a black eye. I don’t think we need to worry about a concussion, though.” As Banner’s hands gently pressed into Bella’s skin, looking for any other wounds, he halted when a touch to her neck resulted in a hiss from her.

“He, um, had his hands around my neck.”

“Fuck.” The image of Aro’s hands around her neck made me nearly vomit.

“Well, we can expect some bruising here as well. Is there anything else on you that hurts?”

Bella stretched out, thankfully without much pain evident on her face. “No, I don’t think so.”

“I’ll be back in a few days to look at your head again. Mr. Cullen has my number in case you need anything. Don’t hesitate to call.”

I walked with him to the elevator. “She’s likely to have a rough few days, physically and mentally. She’ll have a nasty bruise around her neck, and you’ll need to keep the cut on her forehead clean. She might have some PTSD to deal with as well,” Banner whispered to me.

I nodded and thanked him for coming. I let Emmett and Jasper see him out and went back to Bella. She was still sitting on the couch, not moving at all. I approached her loudly, wanting her to know I was coming so I didn’t startle her.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” I asked, and she nodded. With her in my arms again I carried her upstairs, directly to our shower. I carefully removed her clothing, tossing it in a pile to be burned later. Bella was trembling slightly as she stepped in. I followed, not caring that I was still dressed.

“Careful,” I told her, covering the patch on her forehead so I could tilt her head back and wet her hair. I washed her as gently as I could, but there were spots on her arms that were caked with blood. I had to scrub a little harder there to get her free of the reminder of what she had done.

As I massaged her fragrant shampoo into her hair, Bella leaned her head on my chest, evidently too exhausted to keep it up herself anymore. “I want to go to sleep,” she mumbled.

“I know, Bella. Just a few more minutes,” I told her, quickly rinsing her hair. I helped her out of the shower, always keeping an arm around her in case she slipped. I got her dried off and dressed before I was able to tuck her in bed.

“Don’t go,” she whimpered as I turned to get out of my wet clothes.

“I just need to go change. I’ll be back in two minutes, okay?”

I did my best to stay in her sight as I changed. When I got into bed beside her, Bella made it so nearly every inch of us was connected. Her legs wrapped around mine, her arms circled my chest, and her head was nestled into my neck.

“You’ll be here when I wake up?”

“Yes, I promise.” I tried not to think about how I broke the last promise I made to her. The one where I told her I wouldn’t let Aro near her, wouldn’t let him hurt her ever again.

As exhausted as I was, I didn’t sleep. I watched over Bella, making sure she was okay. She slept soundly for a few hours but then she started whimpering. I pulled her closer, hoping to soothe away the nightmare, but my hands only scared her more. She started thrashing in my arms, screaming as I held her.

“It’s okay! You’re safe, Bella. I’m here, you’re safe,” I told her, calming her down a little. She looked at me for a minute, seeming so lost and confused. I felt the exact same, not sure how to help her through this.

Then the story just started stumbling out of her mouth, like she had to get it out in order to move on from it. “I was in bed and I just – I didn’t hear him come in at all. He was just suddenly there and his hands were around my neck. I got away though, somehow, and got to your office. You had a gun there and I remembered everything you told me. _Safety off. Finger off of the trigger until you’re ready to shoot. If you’re in danger, shoot to kill_.” I always hoped she would never need to use the information I taught her while we were on the island. I was damn proud of her for remembering it all, though. “But he got to me again and threw me on the ground and tossed the gun away. I hit my head on the desk when I fell. I was backing up toward the gun while he was saying… horrible things. He pointed his gun at me but somehow, I got to him first. I – I killed him.”

Jesus, she was _guilty_. She felt bad for killing the man who undoubtedly would have killed her if she didn’t stop him. Her sobs wracked through her entire body, and all I could do was hug her to me, hoping to calm her down just a little bit.

“Do not feel guilt over killing him. It was you or him in that moment. He is at fault here, Bella, not you.” _Don’t let this break you, baby._

“I killed someone,” she breathed out.

“Don’t think of it that way. You saved yourself.” _God, what would I be doing right now if she hadn’t killed him? Planning her funeral?_

I knew the feelings Bella was sorting through. It was a lot to deal with, knowing you had taken someone from this planet, knowing they were gone because you pulled the trigger.

The first time I killed someone I was fifteen. I had nightmares for two months, hardly slept because they were so bad. Bella’s situation was different, though. Hers was in self-defense. I knew she would feel guilty for a long time, because she was a good person who would never take something like this lightly, but she was also logical. It was her or him in that situation, and I refused to feel guilty that my wife survived.

_..Sick.._

The next day, late in the afternoon, we were back at the police station. I wanted her to put off giving her statement, but Bella was determined to get it over with. I watched from the two-way mirror as Bella sat next to Jenks, across from Clearwater. I was damn thankful that it wasn’t Biers taking her statement.

“Okay, Mrs. Cullen, let’s start with what you did right when you got home that night.”

“My bodyguard dropped me off at home. I told him I didn’t want him around that night, I just wanted to be alone.”

Bella liked her alone time, I knew that. But, fuck, I hated that she felt the need to send Ben away. It was a reckless decision, but she probably thought nothing of it.

“Why did you want to be alone?”

“Because I was stressed and tired and scared. Not scared for my safety. I was scared because my husband was locked up somewhere and I hadn’t seen him in weeks.” _I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry._

“Okay. And what had you so stressed?”

“I had become interim CEO of my husband’s company. It’s a stressful job.”

“Okay, and what did you do when you got home?”

“I took a bath. I just sat in there for a while, the water was icy by the time I got out. Then I got dressed and got into bed. The next thing I know Aro Volturi is staring at me and his hands are wrapped around my neck.”

“Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ ,” I mumbled to myself. I had never been good at keeping my temper in check, and right now all I wanted to do was wrap my hands around someone’s neck. Preferably someone with the last name Volturi.

“You didn’t hear him come in?” Clearwater asked. _Obviously not, asshole_.

“No. I was crying in bed.”

Every word out of her mouth was like a punch to the gut. Every-fucking-one.

Seth asked her more about the security system before he got her back on specifics of the actual attack. It was the part I was simultaneously most interested in and dreading all at once.

“I scratched his face, I think I hurt his eye and then I got out and ran to Edward’s office. I knew he had a gun in there, for protection. He shot through the lock and found me behind the desk. He pulled me up and threw me on the ground. I hit the desk, that’s how I got these,” Bella pointed to her darkening eye and the bandage on her forehead.

“Did he say anything to you while this was happening?”

“In the office he said something… something along the line of how he was going to bring colleagues with him that night. He said he was going to let them, um, _have_ me before he killed me.”

_Fuck_. I knocked over the first thing my hands touched, which happened to be a wooden table.

If he had brought anyone with him, Bella couldn’t have gotten away. It was amazing someone her size got away from just Aro. He was older, but still in shape and he had a good hundred pounds on her. If he brought people with him… if he let other men _have_ her… Christ I would destroy anyone who laid a hand on her.

_..Sick.._

The first night after the attack, I crunched up a sleeping pill and put it in Bella’s food. She took them sometimes, so I knew they would knock her out for a solid eight hours. She needed a full night’s rest. She only got a few hours last night, and those were restless hours.

I also needed to know she was peacefully asleep in bed while I went back to the house and looked at the crime scene. The police called earlier and said they were done collecting the evidence they needed. Now it was my turn. I left Bella a note just in case she woke up and I wasn’t there.

Emmett and Jasper were already there when I pulled up. Both looked upset at what we were about to do.

“How is she?” Jasper asked as I unlocked the door.

“I gave her a sleeping pill. She’s exhausted, but I knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep if I wasn’t there.”

“She gave her statement today, right? Did you find out anything new?”

“Yeah, Aro was an even sicker bastard than I realized,” I grumbled. “She said he told her he thought about bringing men with him, men he would let have their way with her before he killed her.”

“ _Shit_.”

The main level of the house was relatively clean. The mess down here was simply from the emergency crew coming in. Some chairs where toppled over, and there was some clutter around, but that was it. The real mess would be upstairs.

I bypassed my office door. I wanted to start where it began, so I headed to the bedroom first. Standing at the foot of the bed, I let my mind fill in the blanks with what I knew from Bella’s statement. She would have been lying in bed, crying, when he came in. Then he wrapped his hands around her throat.

I stood over the bed, looking down at the crumpled sheets. There were a few drops of blood on them, maybe from the scratch Bella said got her out of his arms. I saw her phone on the ground, cracked and forgotten. She usually kept it on the table by the bedroom door. Maybe she bumped into it as she ran out.

Emmett and Jasper were thankfully quiet as I thought all of this through. They didn’t ask any questions as I left the bedroom and went to my office.

I went to the desk first, feeling under it to where I had the weapon stashed. There was also one under the chair. What would Bella have done if the gun wasn’t there? Walking around the desk, I stopped at the corner where I saw dark red blood caked to the wood.

It was Bella’s. From when she hit her head as he threw her on the ground.

Then my eyes caught the deep red stain on the carpet. I knelt in front of it, where Aro’s body was last alive, wishing he was still there. Wishing I could get my hands on him. Four bullets to the chest was far too civil a death for him.

“What do we do now?” Emmett asked.

We had all been standing in the office, staring at the crime scene around us. It was a valid question. For months, we had been planning a way to get rid of Aro. We didn’t need to do that anymore. Felix would take over the family, and we all knew he would run them into the ground.

I was too tired to think about work right now.

“Now, I’m going to go home and thank whatever God is out there that this isn’t a puddle of my wife’s blood.”

The sound of the shower surprised me when I got home. I had only been gone about two hours, and when Bella took a sleeping pill she was usually out cold for eight. The bathroom door was open when I got to it, and I could hear Bella over the spray of the water.

“What did I do, what did I do?” she repeated over and over. I pulled open the shower door and saw her furiously scrubbing at her arms, her skin red with the force of her strokes.

“Bella, it’s okay. You’re clean, it’s fine,” I told her, pulling her out of the shower. I wrapped her in a towel, but she kept trying to scrub at her arms, kept repeating her mantra.

Her franticly trying to clean the blood she still saw covering her skin broke me. “Bella, baby, _please_ stop,” I begged. I grabbed her hands in mine, squeezing them just as tight as she squeezed mine. Then her legs gave out from under her, my arms barely catching her in time before she hit the ground.

All I could do was wrap my arms around her waist and lift her up. Her legs immediately wrapped around my waist, her arms my neck. The towel fell from around her, but neither of us cared. I took her to the bed, intending to get her situated under the covers, but her arms tightened around me.

So, I laid down in the middle of the bed with Bella on top of me. I felt every sob as it wracked through her body, heard every whispered _What did I do?_ against my neck. It was when her cries turned into _I’m sorry_ that I couldn’t let it go on anymore.

“Don’t apologize. Don’t apologize for how you feel, and don’t apologize for killing that vile man.”

Her apologies stopped, but the cries lasted all night. I kept my hands slowly moving along her bare back, hoping she would at least feel comforted as she cried. It was around two in the morning when I realized that maybe I wouldn’t be enough to keep Bella from falling apart over this. I had never seen her this inconsolable.

I started to wonder what the exact circumstances were around the time when she put herself in the mental rehabilitation center. Would someplace like that be able to help her now?

The moment the thought entered my mind I knew I could never do it. I could never leave her someplace like that, alone to put herself back together. No. The trauma was just too fresh. She would get better.

She just needed time.

_..Sick.._

As the days went on, Bella did start to get better. She was still not herself, but I wouldn’t expect her to be after what she went through. But she was getting there.

It would be better when all of her bruises went away. Her black eye was slowly fading, but she still had harsh marks around her neck. Aro had to have had an incredible grip on her to leave that kind of mark.

While Bella was getting better, I just got angrier as the days went on. The Volturi’s were playing the mourning family. The funeral was this afternoon, and it was quite an affair from the looks of it. People from all over the city came to mourn the death of that monster. Usually, we all would have gone as well, for appearances sake. But, obviously, given the circumstances that wasn’t happening.

I slowly started going back to work as Bella got better. She didn’t leave the house much, but she was getting back to normal. I was confident that in time things could go back to normal. As normal as our lives ever got.

It was getting late, but I still had to meet with Emmett and Jasper before I went home. So, I made a quick call to Bella, just to make sure she was okay.

“Hello?”

“Hey, are you doing okay?” I asked her. She sounded tired.

“Yes, I’m fine. Just reading,” she replied patiently. I had been constantly asking her how she was doing, but she never complained. “Will you be home soon?”

I sighed, wishing I had a better answer for her. “I still have to meet with Emmett and Jasper. I’ll be home in a few hours. You should get some sleep.”

“All I do is sleep,” she grumbled.

“You’re recuperating. You need sleep.”

“I’ll go to sleep soon, I promise.”

“Good. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Ten minutes later Emmett and Jasper walked in my office, but they were also joined with Seth Clearwater. _Fuck, what now?_

“We’ve got a problem.”

“I have a lot of problems,” I replied.

“In two hours the court is going to issue a warrant for Isabella Cullen’s arrest. She’s being charged with conspiracy to commit manslaughter and first-degree murder.”

_God damnit._

“Who the fuck do they think her conspirator is?” It was an inconsequential question, but it was the only thing I could think of right now.

“Benjamin Cheney.”

“Jesus, what fucking evidence do they have?”

“I don’t have all of the details. The prosecutor is keeping everything very quiet, considering who she is. I barely found out about the warrant.”

“Get out,” I snapped at him.

I gave him a thirty second head start before I grabbed my cell phone and went for the door myself.

“Where are you going?” Jasper asked.

“Home,” I told him simply. He didn’t need to know what I would be doing once I got there.

“Edward, don’t do something stupid,” he said, but it was too late. My mind was made up.

I wouldn’t let Bella go to jail. Wouldn’t let her go through a criminal trial. Christ, everything came out when you were on trial. Every dirty little secret you ever had was suddenly evidence. No, Bella wouldn’t go through that.

I ran four red lights, but I got to the penthouse in record time. As quietly as I could, I packed up a few pairs of clothing for the both of us, but not much else. We didn’t have time for that. I sent a quick, simple text to Ben.

**Get out of town. Fast.**

I didn’t let myself think about the consequences as I went to wake up Bella.

“Bella, I need you to wake up, baby. We need to go,” I said quietly as I gently shook her shoulder.

“Go where?” she asked groggily.

“I’ll explain in the car. I packed some things for you, come on.”

I pulled her with me, getting frustrated at her slow pace. She didn’t realize, though. Didn’t realize what was about to happen if we didn’t get out of here.

Once I had her in the car she started asking questions.

“Want to tell me what this is about?” _No, not at all._

As soon as I turned the car on, I heard the Jeep coming. _Fucking Emmett._ I pulled out of my spot quickly, causing him to veer right and hit a few parked cars. Emmett was quick to jump out of his car, arms swung up in frustration.

I didn’t care. He slammed his hands on the car as I sped off.

“What the hell is going on?” Bella asked, staring behind us at Emmett disappearing in the distance.

I didn’t want to say it. Saying it made it real. “They think you planned it,” I grunted out, speeding down the highway.

“What?”

“The police. They’ve been building a case against you. They’re about to charge you with conspiracy to commit manslaughter and first-degree murder.”

“About to charge me?” Bella asked, her voice sounding out of breath.

“They’re issuing a warrant for your arrest. They’ll have it within the hour.” Well, I guess that was about forty-five minutes ago. They’ll have it much sooner.

“H-how do you know this?”

“Do you remember Detective Clearwater?”

“Yes.”

“He works for us.”

“He works for you? Edward, this makes no sense!” I could feel the annoyance coming off of her in waves. _Fuck, I’m sorry, baby._

I slammed my hands on the steering wheel in frustration. “They will do anything to take down a Cullen, including you. They’re pissed they didn’t get any charges to stick on us and now they’re going after you.”

We were silent for a few minutes. I didn’t have the heart to look over at Bella.

“So, where are we going then?”

“Anywhere. I’m not letting them take you away from me,” I told her. We had gone through too much. Fought too hard to have our happy ending. I wasn’t going to let the incompetent justice system tear us apart.

I drove through the night, still not really thinking my plan through. We could go back to the island. I used one of my off-shore accounts to purchase it, so there would be no link to either of us if the authorities tried to find us.

Yes. The island was a good plan. We would get out of the state and then we could find a plane. Money talked, and I had a lot of it. We wouldn’t have a problem getting to the island.

We would be fine. We could do this.

I sighed in relief at finally having a plan.

When we were about five hours outside of the city I pulled off at a motel right on the side of the highway. We could talk, strategize, and get a few hours of sleep before we started our trek to the island.

I checked us in, ignoring the slimy smirk from the clerk behind the desk. I took Bella to the room before I went and got our things from the car. When I got back, she was just sitting on the bed staring at the wall.

“We’ll rest here for a few hours,” I told her, taking a seat next to her. I grabbed her hands, stopping the nervous fidgeting. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.”

Then her hands were on me and nothing else mattered. Her scent saturated the room, flowers and strawberries and _Bella_. She tore at our clothes and didn’t stop until we were connected in every way possible. But it was never enough. Every movement felt incomplete, every kiss too short. I had spent so long worried about her. Worried she was breaking in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do to help her. But this, this was my Bella. This was the fierceness that she had been missing the last few weeks.

The way her nails dug into my back told me she needed me closer, needed us completely flush no matter the cost. Her hips met my every thrust, no matter the angle she was at. She would push me farther into her, pull me inside and latch on with everything she had, like she never wanted to let go.

I didn’t look at the clock before I fell asleep. I pulled Bella against me, reveling in the feel of her skin against mine despite the hours I just spent worshiping it.

As long as I had her, everything would be fine.


	15. I Did Something Bad

_They say I did something bad. But why’s it feel so good? Most fun I ever had, and I’d do it over and over and over again if I could. It just felt so good, good. They’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one. They got their pitchforks and proof, their receipts and reasons. ~ Taylor Swift, I Did Something Bad_

_..Sick.._

A slight click jerked my body awake. I hadn’t been asleep long, maybe a few minutes, but the bed beside me was empty. My eyes darted around the room, but there was no sign of Bella. _Fuck, no._

I jumped up, pulling on the first piece of clothing my hands touched which happened to be a pair of boxers. I ran to the door, hearing a familiar click as it closed behind me. The click that woke me up.

It wasn’t hard to figure out what she was doing. Sneaking out as soon as I fell asleep, going straight for the car… she was going to turn herself in. I couldn’t let her do that. She didn’t understand what would happen if she did it.

Taking a look around the parking lot, I saw Bella getting into the car and my heart stopped. I ran down the steps toward the parking lot. Thankfully, the car wasn’t even on by the time I reached her. I slid into the passenger seat as she was searching the floor for something.

Bella’s head snapped to mine as I sat down, and I noticed the tear stains on her cheeks. It was an all too familiar sight these days. _Baby, no. You don’t have to do this._

“I can’t, Edward. I can’t run for the rest of my life, and I can’t have you do the same,” she sobbed.

For the first time in years, I felt the prickle of imminent tears hit my eyes. “They’ll tear you apart, do whatever they can to get their charges to stick.”

“I know. But I didn’t –“

“I know you didn’t. They probably know you didn’t, too. They just want to take us down.”

“There are systems in place, though. To make sure innocent people don’t get blamed for other prejudices.” _Oh, Bella._

“There are. But, a lot of innocent people are rotting away in prison right now.” My words were harsh, but I needed her to get my point. If she turned herself in there was only so much I could to do save her. Those weren’t odds I was willing to take, but in the end the choice was hers.

“I know,” she whispered.

“If you want to do this, I won’t stop until the charges are dropped and you’re home with me again. It’s your decision.” I would do everything possible to clear her name. Absolutely everything.

Waiting for her answer was unnecessary, I knew what she would choose. Bella was too moral for her own good, too pure to be associated with someone like me. Those morals would never let her run away. She would go back, face her punishment, and hope that the system did its job.

The fact that most of my family wasn’t behind bars was living proof that it didn’t, but I could never force her to run. It’ll kill me; seeing her behind bars, watching her go on trial for murder, but I would do it. And I’ll be there waiting for her when she gets out.

“We can’t run forever. It’ll be hard now, but at least we would know our fate.” _Whatever you want, Bella._

I reached over to her and grabbed the key out of her hands. I didn’t need her running out on me again. “I need to change and grab our bag. Don’t go anywhere.”

My legs felt like cement as I went back to our room. I pulled on whatever clothes I had thrown in the bag last night, a black t shirt and some jeans, and stood in the middle of the room for a minute.

Would this be one of the last places I ever saw Bella in as a free woman? One of the last places I ever got to be alone with her? _No._ Letting myself think like that would do no good. I had to get through the next few hours without letting Bella see how unsure I was about what she was doing.

Every one of my instincts was telling me to take her and run, but I couldn’t do that against her will. Instead, I would fight like hell to make sure this wasn’t where our story ended.

Once we were on the road, the only sound that filled the car was Bella’s cries. It was fucking torture. All I could do was hold her hand as we got closer and closer to Chicago. During one of her calm patches, I made a few necessary calls.

First, Jasper. “Transfer all of Bella’s assets into my name,” I told him. I had already put most of mine back in my name after my arrest. I would make sure the state didn’t have control over her belongings. If everything was in my name, they had no claim. “Make it look like it was done right after I got out.”

“Edward –“

“Just fucking do it. You have three hours.”

Next, Jenks. “You need to negotiate the terms of a peaceful surrender for Isabella at the 19th precinct. We’ll be there in a few hours.”

Nausea set in I saw the Chicago skyline come into view. _Fuck, what are we about to do?_ Looking over at Bella I saw she was still crying, but the sobs were calmer now, defeated. I pulled over, not knowing what I needed to say but knowing something needed to be said.

“I have to… I need you to know you’re the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever known. You’re brave and strong and such a fucking fighter. I love you, and I promise I will not let you get stuck there for the rest of your life.” _I promise, I promise, I promise._

She gave me a sad smile in return. I couldn’t ask for much more, really. “I love you,” she whispered.

I squeezed her hand in mine as we got back on the highway. For the first time in my life, I went exactly the speed limit. “Everything will be okay,” I mumbled. Who I was assuring, I wasn’t sure.

Panic started to settle into my stomach as we entered the city so I started telling Bella what to expect. “They’ll keep you in the jail in this precinct. If anything happens, if you’re ever in any kind of danger, find Detective Clearwater. He’ll protect you. Jenks is already in there, never talk to anyone without him present. Not the guard that they’ll keep outside your cell, or even another civilian.”

“Will… will I be able to see you?”

It wasn’t really protocol, to let prisoners have too many visitors. But I had never cared about protocol. “I’ll make sure of it.”

When we were parked outside of the precinct we both sat still for a minute. There were photographers outside, of course, but the men I had assigned to the area were doing a good job at keeping them back and blocking their view.

I squeezed Bella’s hand, reveling in the warmth of her skin under my touch. _God, I love you._ But then, a second later, she gently pulled her hand out of mine. I watched as she pulled her wedding rings off with shaky fingers and held them out to me.

“Keep these safe for me?”

I squeezed them in my hand, vowing to myself to never let them out of my sight until they were back on her finger. Leaning over the console, I ran the fingers of my free hand through her silky hair and rested my hand on the back of her neck. “I will love you until the day I die, Isabella Cullen.”

After a soft kiss to her lips, Bella let out an odd sigh. I knew she felt the same, she didn’t need to say it. I nodded, and slowly got out of the car. My entire body felt like cement again. Every step I took was with quadruple the amount of effort it should take.

When I had Bella out of the car, I tucked her head into my chest so the photographers wouldn’t be able to see her face. As we got closer to the doors I could feel Bella start to slow, her body suddenly fighting against what she was about to do. It fucking killed me, but I kept her moving forward even though I felt exactly the same way.

Once we were inside, Clearwater and Biers approached us. As requested, the rest of the precinct was fairly empty. I despised the fact that Biers was head detective on the case because that meant he would be questioning Bella at some point. I knew what his interviews were like.

My hand was digging into Bella’s waist, hard enough to leave a bruise, but I couldn’t let go. When Clearwater reached out for Bella’s arm I gripped her even tighter.

“Wait! Wait! Please, just wait a second,” Bella begged, the fear seeping out of her every word, every movement. Her arms wrapped around me and I pulled her as close as possible. I memorized the feel of her in my arms; the slope of her waist, the tips of her hair brushing against my arm. I breathed in a lungful of her scent, the one that could never be replicated.

“I love you. Forever,” she whispered to me.

I squeezed her impossibly tighter. It had to hurt her, but I just needed another second of her. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”

It went against everything in me to do so, but my arms dropped from around her. The second I didn’t have a hand on her, Biers roughly pulled her arms behind her back. Fuck, the sight of her getting cuffed would be ingrained in my mind forever.

“Careful,” I grunted at him.

“Calm down, Cullen. I’ll take excellent care of her for you,” Riley smirked.

The fact that we were in a police station wouldn’t stop me, I would still kill him. Unfortunately, two sets of hands were on me. Emmett and Jasper held me in place as Bella was read her rights and ushered into the station.

Fuck. She’s _gone._

_..Sick.._

The next few weeks were hell. I visited Bella as often as I could, usually once or twice a week. Our visits weren’t technically illegal, but they weren’t really allowed either. Every time she looked worse than the last. I had to hear about cops slamming her fucking head into tables, knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t turn on the television anymore because every time I did her mug shot was on the screen, and some asshole was talking about her.

I ran on autopilot most days, just doing what I needed to survive. I think Jasper and Alice moved into the penthouse with me, but I wasn’t all that sure. I just saw them a lot more now, and Alice usually forced me to eat something.

I was sitting in my office at work, tugging at Bella’s wedding rings I now had on a string around my neck when the buzzer on my desk went off.

“Mr. Cullen, there’s a Charles Swan here to see you,” Jessica said.

Fuck. Just what I needed. Charlie.

“Send him in,” I grunted. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, feeling utterly defeated. Never in my life had I felt this helpless.

“You ruined her,” Charlie spat out at me, leaning over my desk with a glare. _Don’t I fucking know it, Charlie._ “She could have had everything. You ruined her and you turned her away from her real family.”

I could handle him talking shit about me for Bella’s situation, but implying that he was her real family crossed the line.

“Don’t blame me for your fuck up, Charlie. You think I turned her away from you? You sealed your fate with her when you let her go twenty-two years without ever telling her the truth! You let her work her ass off to take care of you when you should have taken care of her. Jesus, letting her buy you a house, pay your debt, all while you retired early? What kind of fucking father does that!

“I take full responsibility for the trouble I have caused her, but I have never once left her side. What happened to you after the wedding? Why did you stop calling her?”

Charlie had the decency to look remorseful. “Renee didn’t…”

“ _Fuck_ , Renee,” I spat out. “Get the fuck out of here.” I leaned back in my chair, feeling the all too familiar bone crushing guilt wash over me.

_..Sick.._

Two months. Bella had been locked in a jail cell for two months and I was gradually falling apart. I had always been able to keep it together. In my line of work, seeing friends or family get locked up or killed was a common occurrence, and I had grown accustomed to it. But this was about to ruin me.

Jasper and Emmett took over most of my work responsibilities. I was still working about twelve hours a day, but I was distracted and sloppy. I needed something to keep me busy, though.

When I got home today, the driveway was completely empty for once. Usually Emmett or Jasper were always here. It was infuriating. As usual, I went straight for the bar when I got home. I couldn’t be here sober. There were reminders of Bella everywhere. All of the blankets she had stashed around the place, the clothes in the closet and the shampoo in the shower. _Fuck, I miss you, baby._

It didn’t take me long to finish the new bottle of scotch. Tonight, I had more than alcohol to help me cope. I grabbed the box I got from Mike earlier and went up to my office. Clearing the desk, I pulled out the bag full of the fine, white powder.

It was the best stuff out there, because it was what we sold. I hadn’t done any drugs since a few weeks before I met Bella. It used to be an escape, a way to forget all of the responsibilities I had, and all of the shit I had done. I never needed that escape when I had Bella. She made everything okay, made me feel like a better man than I was. 

Now, she was gone because of me. Locked up like a criminal. I had to watch her get escorted to a small room so I could see her, had to see her in those dark blue jail scrubs. Every time I saw her she looked worse than the last, her hair lost the silky shine it always had, and she had constant dark circles under her eyes.

Everyone was right. I _did_ ruin her. The one good thing about me, and I ruined it.

I got my line ready, staring at the stark white powder against the dark wooden grain of the desk. Getting out my wallet, I pulled out a bill and rolled it up, quickly snorting the line before I changed my mind.

My eyes rolled back into my head, and I leaned back in my chair to let the stimulant do its job, let it take me to a happier place.

_I was in my office at home, willing myself to get some work done when the door swung open._

_“Miss me?”_

_My head snapped up to see Bella in the doorway smiling at me. That beautiful, carefree smile that she always saved just for me._

_“Christ, how did you – “ I stopped questioning whatever miracle brought her back to me, and went to her. With her arms around my neck and mine around her waist the weeks apart disappeared. Everything was right._

_“God, I’m so sorry, Bella. I – “_

_“It’s okay. I’m fine,” she told me, running her fingers through my hair. She knew I loved it._

_I pulled her with me over to the couch in the corner and refused to let go of her as I sat down and situated her on my lap. Even as my hands roamed over her back, I couldn’t believe she was here. She was free._

_She didn’t smell the same when I buried my head in her neck. She smelled… sterile. Like a hospital. It must have been the bland soaps they supplied at the jail. They weren’t her usual strawberry scented lotions she had all over the place here. Whatever it was, it didn’t matter because she was back. She could bathe in diamonds if she wanted. I didn’t ruin her life after all._

_“Fuck, I just – “ the words got caught in my throat and for the first time since I was a child I cried. I cried for the hell I put her through, but mostly I cried because I was happy. Happy she was back and didn’t hate me._

_“It’s okay, Edward. I’m here. I love you.”_

“Edward, we’ve got – “ Emmett barged in, not bothering to knock on the closed door. “What the fuck are you doing?”

I didn’t respond, choosing to stay in my mind where Bella was here, smiling at me and nothing was wrong.

“Edward?” _Alice_. That meant Jasper was probably here, too.

It didn’t matter though. Bella mattered. Not them.

“Get her out of here, Jasper. I’ll take care of him.”

“Don’t ruin my high, Emmett,” I grunted out.

I was suddenly pulled up. Emmett had his hands clutching my shirt and my back pressed against the back wall. My eyes snapped open, ready to fight him if I needed to.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I shouted.

“You’re really going to do this shit again, Edward?”

“Leave me alone, Emmett.” I didn’t have the energy to fight him.

He grabbed my arm and dragged me from the room. I stumbled behind him until he practically threw me in the shower and turned on the cold water.

“Fuck!” I shouted, but Emmett closed the door and held it shut, so I just sat down against the wall and let the freezing water wash over me.

“You used to be such an asshole,” Emmett said through the glass. He sat down on the floor in front of me and just stared. “All the drugs, the excessive drinking… I got it. Our lives have never been easy and those things made it seem easier. Hell, we all need a drink after work, but you always took it a step too far.”

“I don’t need a lecture, Emmett.”

“Then you met Bella and all that shit stopped. Have you ever taken a drug stronger than aspirin since you met her?” I shook my head no. “What would she think? What would she do if she walked in the door right now and saw you like this?”

God, she’d be pissed. The second she found out I did a line I would get an earful about how stupid it was. She would yell at me until she got her point across, but then she would help me up. She’d make me shower and promise her I wouldn’t do it again.

“She’s strong, Edward. She’ll get out and you’ll have her back soon.”

It wouldn’t be soon. A year at the least.

“I destroyed her,” I said, dropping my head in my hands. “I took that girl with the brightest future and brought her into this life and ruined her. Everyone hates her now because of me. Christ, she had to _kill_ someone because of me.”

“You know she doesn’t care about any of them. She cares about you.”

That got me to laugh. “She shouldn’t. Look at me. My wife is gone for two months and I fall apart.”

“You’re not weak, Edward. You’re the strongest out of all of us. You held us together through the Carlisle shit, and you took over perfectly. It’s a fucked-up situation, having Bella locked up. But you can’t keep doing this. You’ve had your time to fall apart. Now you need to pick yourself up and be strong for her.”

Emmett stood up and left, but only for a minute. When he got back he had the bag of cocaine in his hands. He lifted the lid of the toilet and poured it out. I wasn’t sad to see it go.

“Now, you’re going to get off your ass, take a shower, and get some fucking sleep. You look like shit.”

_..Sick.._

Emmett’s lecture was exactly what I needed. I slept for eight hours that night and woke up feeling rested for the first time in months. All of my problems were still there but drowning in my own self-pity would do nothing to solve them.

Back at work the next morning I was forced to sit through a finance meeting. It dragged on for hours, but it was a good distraction I supposed.

“Uh, Mr. Cullen?” Jessica asked, quietly as I made my way back to my desk.

“What?”

“You got a call from the, um, Chicago Police Department. They said you wife was taken to the Northwestern Memorial Hospital.”

I stopped in my tracks. “Why the fuck was she taken to the hospital?”

“They said there was some kind of attack. I didn’t get specifics on her condition.”

“Jesus, when did they call?”

“Thirty minutes ago. I didn’t want to interrupt your meeting.”

_Do not shoot her. Do not shoot her._ “Any messages pertaining to my wife get given to me immediately. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

I grabbed my things from my office and took the stairs to the garage. I didn’t have time to wait for the elevator.

I called Emmett on my way and told him to find out who attacked her. The hospital wasn’t far from my office, but the drive seemed to take forever. Fuck, who would have attacked her? I hadn’t been very attentive to either of my businesses, family or otherwise. That needed to change.

It was probably someone trying to keep Bella from making a deal. She knew shit that could take down the whole city. She wouldn’t say anything, but no one else knew that.

I called Clearwater on my way to the hospital to find out her room number. I was in no mood to deal with a secretive hospital staff. When I got to her room I eyed the two officers standing outside of it, daring them to try and keep me from going inside. Thankfully, one of them nodded toward the door so I didn’t have to deal with them.

“Shit,” I mumbled as I closed the door behind me. Bella was asleep in the hospital bed, her hands cuffed to the railing. I went straight for the foot of her bed and grabbed her chart. The medical terminology was simple enough to understand. Concussion, broken rib, and another black eye.

I went to sit next to her and grabbed her hand. She had harsh bruises around her wrists, bruises that would only come from seriously resisting an arrest, or…

Christ, was she cuffed when she was attacked? Completely helpless?

After pressing a kiss to her forehead, I relaxed into the chair next to her. She looked so peaceful as she slept. None of the worry and fear covered her face like it usually did when I visited her. She looked like herself, apart from the growing bruise on her cheek.

_Paid hitman. Employed by Volturi. Snuck in dressed as a cop. We have him waiting for you._

The text from Emmett confirmed most of my suspicions. I had been too lax at work lately. People probably thought I was weak and distracted, focused solely on Bella. They were right, before today. They needed a reminder that they couldn’t fuck with me or my wife.

Finding body parts of the hitman around the city was probably a good way to let them know.

I texted Emmett back, telling him to bring me a lock picking kit to the hospital. Then I heard a hiss come from Bella and saw her eyes snap shut quickly. _Too bright._ I quickly turned them off and went back to my spot next to her. Her eyes cracked open once the lights were out, eventually landing on me.

“How do you feel?” I asked her, grabbing one of her hands and cupping her cheek lightly. _I miss you so fucking much, baby._

“Like shit.”

“Will you tell me what happened?”

“Seth is usually the one who comes to get me if I ever leave my cell. This other guy was there today. He was in a police uniform, I assumed it was fine. He got me to the visiting room and just… attacked. I was still cuffed, there was nothing I could do.”

“He was a hitman. He snuck into the precinct with the uniform and knew exactly where to find you. You have a concussion, a broken rib, and another black eye.”

I dropped my head to her bed and lightly trailed kisses along her arm, one of the only parts of her I could reach that wasn’t bruised.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” Bella whispered. _Hold on, please._

“I know, baby,” I sighed. “The trial will start soon, then we’re on the downhill slope. Jenks has a strong case, Bella.” _Don’t give up yet._

“I miss you.”

“I’m right here,” I told her, but I knew what she meant. I missed her, too. Missed waking up to her, missed falling asleep with her in my arms. Missed everything.

“No, I miss _you_. I miss my husband who would send me dirty text messages in the middle of the day, and I miss the way you would kiss me like your life depended on it when you hadn’t seen me for a few hours. I miss our life together and every day I feel like the odds of us ever getting that back diminish a little bit more.”

Her words devastated me. “Every time before I see you I try to think of something to say that will make you feel better. I want to tell you it’ll be all right but then shit like this happens.

“You have no idea how… furious I was when Jessica gave me the message from the police department. I swear, I almost shot her for not interrupting the meeting I was in. You were helpless, fucking handcuffed while he tried to kill you. Every time I think of it I want to pull my hair out.

“It fucking kills me, watching you get cuffed and hauled out of the visiting room. Having to leave you there just _kills me_.” My voice cracked, but I didn’t care. I heard the rattle of the cuffs, figuring she was trying to touch me I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

“I like this,” she muttered. I frowned at her, because there was very little about our current situation that I would say I liked, apart from being able to see her today. “Not this whole situation, obviously, the whole not constantly talking about me or the trial. I haven’t gotten to just talk to you in a long time.”

I peppered a few more kisses over her face until I got a small giggle out of her. Then I sat back and told her a few things I remembered happening in the last few months. Random tidbits of news she might find interesting or at least distracting. As we talked a commotion started outside, probably Emmett trying to get into the room.

Leaving Bella for a moment, I went out to see what the issue was. It wasn’t just Emmett. He, Jasper, Alice, and Rose were all outside. There were balloons everywhere and a stuffed bear that was nearly as big as Alice.

“Jesus, what are you all doing here?”

“We came to see Bella,” Alice said, very matter-of-factly.

“This isn’t – she was attacked. She doesn’t need balloons and – “

“This is exactly what she needs. If I were in her situation, I would want a few minutes of normalcy, a few fun minutes with family before I had to go back to…”

I sighed and nodded, ushering them inside. Emmett and Jasper both went straight for Bella’s wrists.

“Oh, my God! Thank you!” Bella shouted, rubbing her wrists and smiling bigger than I had seen in months. _God, you’re beautiful._

“No problem. Eddie should have thought ahead and brought his kit,” Emmett said, smirking in my direction.

“What are you guys doing here? Are you going to get in trouble?” Only Bella would worry about people around her getting in trouble when she was facing murder charges.

_..Sick.._

Following Bella’s attack, I was on a mission. A mission to destroy everyone responsible for all of this shit, and a mission to make sure Bella’s life outside of jail was one she would want.

I hadn’t thought of it until I saw an article in the paper, one about how people didn’t think Bella would ever be able to make a comeback after this. She loved her job, and I would make damn sure it was waiting for her when she got out.

When. Not if. I wouldn’t let myself get caught up in the what ifs anymore. So, I set up a meeting with Bella’s manager and publicist.

“What can I do?” I asked them as they sat across from me in my office. “To help her.”

“Nothing. Her career… it’s over. No one comes back from murder charges,” Heidi said with a sad shake of her head.

“She can make another album-film crossover. Then – “

“Have you read anything that people are saying about her? She public enemy number one,” Claire said.

“Okay, so how do we change that?”

“We can’t, it’s – “

“How do we change it?” I repeated.

“No one has said anything positive about her in the media in months. They’re too scared too. The first step would be just… having someone say something good about her.”

“Okay,” I agreed. If there was one thing I could do, it was boast about my wife.

“Okay? You mean – you’ll do it?” Claire asked, shock written all over her face.

“If it’ll help her in the long run, yes.”

“She always told us you were off limits.”

Of course, she did. Bella was fiercely protective after we announced our marriage and people started slandering me in the media. I didn’t give a shit, but it infuriated her. She got so angry when she read things written about me. She would come home and rant about it. She was fucking sexy when she was angry.

“If you think this will help her public image, help it so she can work again once she’s out, I’ll do it.”

A week later I was sitting in the corner of the penthouse, my back to the window overlooking the city. People buzzed around me, someone with a makeup brush started walking toward me but when she saw the look on my face she quickly backed off. A man was tugging at a mic wired to my shirt, and there were some bright as fuck lights shining in my face. _Jesus, how did Bella do this all the time?_

The woman who would be interviewing me sat down across from me with a nervous glance in my direction. I couldn’t remember her name for the life of me, but Heidi said she was someone who had always been kind to Bella. They also already gave me the list of questions that would be asked. 

The questions started out simple enough. She asked more about me than Bella, nothing too invasive. When the questions started leaning more toward Bella, I knew what I had to do.

“You’ve had to watch as the public has turned their backs on Bella, someone they once thought of as America’s sweetheart. What’s it like, being so close to the situation?”

“Honestly, I don’t pay much attention to what people say about her. The woman they talk about… it’s not my wife. They make her out to be a completely different person from who she really is.”

“How so?”

“I’ve seen articles calling her vain, saying she’s had plastic surgery, calling her money hungry… none of that is true. I’ve been with her for over two years and every time I call her beautiful she blushes. The girl is petrified of needles, so she’d never elect to have any kind of surgery, and her career has never been about money to her. She loves her job, both music and acting. Her paycheck doesn’t motivate her, the craft does.”

“Does it bother you that people were so quick to turn on her?”

“It bothers me because I know it’ll bother her. She hasn’t paid attention to the media surrounding her lately, understandably. But, when she gets out and sees how people have turned on her, I know she’ll be hurt.”

I sighed, because this was where I did my job. “People automatically thought the worst of her because they don’t _know_ her. They think they do, because she puts so much of herself out in the public, but those are only little parts of who she is. Bella is beautiful and talented, that much is clear from her public image. But you don’t see her, you don’t see how hard of a worker she really is, how seriously she takes her career.

“The media is tearing down this woman that they don’t understand. There is more to Bella than being a three-time Academy Award winner. They don’t see the way she blushes whenever she’s complimented. They’ve never seen her truly cry. They didn’t see how broken she was after the attack.”

“So, you’re standing by her through all of this?”

“Of course,” I replied, offended people thought I would leave Bella at all, let alone when she was in jail.

“You’ve been married less than a year. You spent a week in jail over Aro Volturi’s disappearance, and now Bella is about to go on trial for his murder. Is this something you think your marriage can survive?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “My wife did what she had to do to protect herself from a violent man. I don’t blame her for what she had to do, I’m proud that she was able to take care of herself.”

Hopefully my words were enough to cause just a seed of doubt in people’s minds. That they helped them see that the media coverage was biased, that Bella was still herself, and that she deserved to have a life outside of jail.


	16. Don't Blame Me

_Something happened for the first time, in the darkest little paradise. Shacking, pacing, I just need you. For you, I would cross the line. I would waste my time, I_ would _lose my mind. They say, “She’s gone too far this time.” ~ Taylor Swift, Don’t Blame Me_

_..Sick.._

“Damn,” I muttered as my car pulled up in front of the courthouse. I had arrived alone, advising most of my family to stay away from the trial. I needed Emmett and Jasper to take care of business while I devoted my attention to the trial, and I didn’t need Alice and Rosalie causing a scene here. Bella didn’t need it, either.

There was nothing I could do about the scene outside of the courthouse, though. Jesus, there had to be hundreds of photographers on the block. News vans scattered the streets. There wasn’t an inch of the courthouse that wouldn’t be visible in one picture or another.

It infuriated me that the judge allowed the trial to be streamed on the news. Every reaction of Bella’s, every word said would be analyzed to death. Maybe it would help with her public image, though. People seeing her. I knew I wouldn’t be the only one that could see the constant sadness in her eyes.

All of the cameras turned to me as I got out of my car. I had been with Bella on the red carpet of some of the most high-profile award ceremonies, but nothing compared to this. I did my best to ignore the vulgar shouts but controlling my temper had never been a strong suit of mine.

“Ready to see your wife burn, Cullen?”

I glared at the man who said it. He had enough common sense to look terrified at my acknowledgement of him. Any other day I would find out who he was and figure out some way to even the score at his remarks, but I needed my focus today.

Today was the start of the actual trial. The jury was selected after two grueling weeks of questioning. It was nearly impossible to find people who didn’t have preconceived opinions on Bella. But, today we started the real stuff. The opening statements, the evidence, the character witnesses… all would start in the coming weeks. Then we would have a better idea on what kind of chances we had.

Once I made it past the barricade of photographers, I took my seat in the courtroom. I was always in the same spot, the first row, right behind Bella. So close I could reach out and touch her. That wasn’t allowed, of course. The security in the courtroom was strict, and I wasn’t going to do anything to disrupt the trial.

Bella knew I was there, though. She would smile at me every day when she walked in, albeit a sad one. She knew I wouldn’t leave her during this, I wouldn’t let her go through it alone.

Ten minutes after I sat down Bella was brought in. I loathed the sight of her in handcuffs, hated watching her get escorted in the courtroom like a common criminal. Christ, if these people had ever met her they would know she was no threat to anyone.

Standing as she passed me, I gave her what I hoped was an encouraging smile. As soon as her wrists were free, she grabbed the daisy I had a custodian put on her table every morning. She would play with it all day, running her fingers over the petals, twisting the stem between her fingers. It was the only thing I could really give her anymore.

Jenks’ opening statements went well. I watched the jury as he talked, eying one woman specifically. She was older, maybe in her mid-forties, but she seemed to agree that she would have wanted her own children to do the same thing in Bella’s situation. It just took one doubtful person to hopefully convince everyone else on the jury there was reasonable doubt.

Then, Embry Call stood to deliver his opening statements. Of course, the prosecutor on Bella’s case had to be him. He, along with half of the city, had always had it out for us. So, of course, he held nothing back during his opening statements. He painted Bella as a money hungry Hollywood starlet, looking for another way to get in the spotlight. He even had the fucking nerve to bring up her mental health.

I had done a good job at not thinking about all of the skeletons the prosecution was going to dig up about her. But my time of ignorance was up. This was what I had been dreading since the moment Seth told me about the case.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, by the time this trial is over we are confident that we will be able to convince you that Isabella Cullen, along with her conspirator Benjamin Cheney, planned and executed the murder of Aro Volturi.”

The prosecution was going to tear her apart.

_..Sick.._

“You need to eat,” I told Bella. She was pushing her salad around the plastic container. It did look like a rather plain, boring meal, but she was getting unhealthily skinny. She wasn’t doing it on purpose. I knew the stress of the trial was destroying her appetite, but it was like she was withering away.

“I’m not hungry.”

We were in a small backroom of the courthouse for an hour of lunch before court resumed. It had been going on for about a month so far, and we were just getting started. After lunch, Zafrina would be taking the witness stand. Obviously, her and Bella had strict doctor-patient confidentiality, but we knew what they would be bringing up with her on the stand.

They would say Bella was unstable, maybe accuse her of abusing her medication. She had done it, once that I knew of, but that was it.

“Please, Bella,” I begged. Seeing her like this was slowly killing me.

Her eyes snapped to mine and I could tell she was about to fight me on the subject, but something changed her mind. She backed down and stabbed a few pieces of lettuce with her fork and shoved them in her mouth.

“Thank you,” I whispered, kissing her forehead. Bella let out a content sigh as my lips lingered, then her head was buried in my neck. We were sitting side by side at the small table, but there was a security guard stationed by the door.

“I miss sex,” she whispered into my ear, low enough so the guard wouldn’t be able to hear. _Jesus, this woman would be the death of me._ What was the appropriate response to that? But then, her entire body sagged into my side, like all of the strength had gone out of her.

“I miss _you_. I feel like… like I don’t know you anymore. What if you get tired of all of this? You’ve dropped everything to come to court every day and I wouldn’t blame you if you decided – “

“Stop, please,” I breathed out. “I’m not going anywhere, Bella. What brought this on?”

She looked up at me with those sad, brown eyes. “I have a lot of bad dreams.”

I cupped her cheek and kept her eyes on mine. “I love you. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” I held Bella for the last few minutes before she had to be taken away again. Then it was back to court.

I had never met Zafrina Senna. She was Bella’s therapist, and I knew she still talked to her on the phone semi-regularly before her arrest, but I had never had the chance to actually meet her. She looked slightly apprehensive as she walked up to the witness stand and took her oath.

“Ms. Senna, how long have you been treating Isabella Cullen?” Call asked her.

“About five years.”

“So, you know Mrs. Cullen pretty well then?”

“Yes, but I can’t – “

“You can’t disclose personal information, yes, of course. But there is one instance I would like your professional opinion on. It has become public knowledge, thanks to Mrs. Cullen’s latest film, that she attempted to kill herself after she was shot two years ago. Do you believe she is mentally unstable enough to do such a thing?”

_Fuck_.

“I wasn’t there when the incident happened. I can’t comment on that.”

“Let me rephrase. Do you believe Isabella Cullen is mentally unstable enough to commit murder, whether that be to herself or someone else?”

_Jesus, say no. No, no, no._

“Isabella has always taken things out on herself, whether they are her fault or not. Day to day, she’s perfectly fine. But when big things happen she goes into a bit of a tailspin. Do I believe the idea of suicide was in her head that night? I can only guess, but I would guess yes.”

_Shit._

“So, your answer to my previous question is yes?”

Zafrina had the decency to look guilty as she answered. “Yes.”

No one else knew what happened that night. No one saw what I saw. All of this is fucking speculation, but because it’s coming from a licensed therapist the jury is going to take it to heart. This testimony is a big fucking check in the guilty column.

_No one saw what I saw._ Fuck, I was the only witness whose testimony would be worth a damn on this issue. I was the only one who could plant a seed of doubt in Zafrina’s testimony.

I subtly coughed, catching the attention of both Bella and Jenks. When they both looked back at me, I leaned forward and whispered, “Put me on the stand.”

“What?” Jenks asked, looking flabbergasted. I paid him a great deal of money to make sure I never ended up under oath. It had been killing me that I couldn’t do more to help Bella’s case. I was incarcerated at the time of the attack, so there was no way I could turn into an alibi for her. I couldn’t protect her that night and I couldn’t do it in court either. But, maybe I could now.

“I was there. I’m the only one who can dispute her. I don’t care what you have to do, put me on the fucking stand.”

Surprise witnesses were a thing, right? I didn’t care what had to be done. I understood Jenks’ apprehension, though. No one went on the stand without practicing, without spending hours and days thinking about what could possibly be asked, by both sides.

“You’re not on the list, we can’t just –“

_“Do it.”_

Bella was uncharacteristically silent through all of this. She looked so hurt, maybe betrayed by the therapist she had trusted for so long.

Call finished talking with Zafrina, but it was obvious he had gotten what he wanted out of her. When it was Jenks’ turn to cross-examine her, he did everything he could to get her to clear Bella’s name. It wasn’t enough, though. I saw the faces of the jurors when Zafrina agreed to Call’s question.

“Your honor, in light of Ms. Senna’s testimony I would like to submit a request for a surprise witness to discuss the topic of Mrs. Cullen’s supposed attempted suicide.”

“Your honor, a surprise witness is out of the question. We finished discovery – “ Call interrupted, but the judge silenced him with a raised hand.

“Who is your witness?”

“The only other person who was in the house the night of the supposed attempt, Edward Cullen.”

The entire courtroom went silent. Call’s mouth quite literally popped open. If I wasn’t so pissed off at Zafrina, I would have found his shock amusing.

“He will, obviously, only be required to discuss matters related to his wife’s case. More specifically, the night he found her in the bathtub. He is also covered by spousal immunity, he will not be forced to disclose any conversations with his wife he doesn’t wish to,” Jenks clarified.

The judge found me in the audience and eyed me for a minute before nodding. “Bring him up.”

I stood and walked through the little gate that separated the audience from the actual court proceedings. I stopped by Bella and gave her a quick kiss to her cheek before approaching the stand. With a hand raised, I took my oath to tell the truth even though I had no intention to do so. I had committed worse crimes than perjury.

“Mr. Cullen, please tell us what you can about the night you found your wife, supposedly attempting to commit suicide,” Jenks said.

“I had been out of the country during the whole ordeal, when she got shot. As soon as I was able to I came back to her. I figured she would be at her home in Los Angeles, so that’s where I went. She was in the bathtub when I got there, her head just slightly under the water. She didn’t hear me at first, but she pulled herself out of the tub before I rushed over.”

“You thought she might have been attempting to drown herself?”

“For a moment, yes. I tend to go to the worst-case scenario in my mind. But, she pulled herself out voluntarily, before she knew I was there. She wasn’t trying to kill herself.” It was always a fear in the back of my mind that she had been. Bella had told me repeatedly that she wasn’t, but she was _so still_.

“Have you ever thought of your wife as mentally unstable?”

Bella had her moments of instability. She told me once she sometimes got lost in her head. But, I was always able to pull her out. “ _No_ ,” I said fiercely. “She is no more mentally unstable than you or I.”

When Call got his chance to talk to me, he simply tried to catch me in a lie. He had waited his entire career to get me on the stand, at his mercy. It was killing him to not be able to ask me about anything other than Bella and her case. I didn’t get joy from many things lately, but his palpable frustration was quite amusing.

_..Sick.._

I hated the weekends. Weekends used to mean working from home with Bella or having her distract me from my work in the most pleasurable way possible. Now, I spent my weekends either doing damage control around the city or watching the news and hearing them dissect every second of Bella’s trial.

Damage control was becoming more and more of an issue. Bella had met more than a few of my associates at dinners or events. They all knew she could take everyone down in the blink of an eye if she wanted. She would never do it because it would put a target on the entire Cullen family, but they didn’t know the extent of her loyalty. To everyone else, this was exactly how every other Hollywood-mafia love story ended. Bella would take the stand, rat everyone out that she knew, and get a few years locked up before moving on with her life.

I knew better than to think that would ever happen, but everyone else was getting worried. Worry was never good amongst these men. I had tried to talk most of them down, I even went so far as to make them assume my presence at the trial was to intimidate Bella, as if she could ever be intimidated by me, but I knew my words would only last so long. Her testimony was fast approaching, likely starting within the next few weeks, and the criminals around the city were terrified.

It was comical, really, that they were so scared of Bella. They both admired her and feared her. She is the one to thank for getting rid of Aro. Many had given me their thanks to pass on to her, but I never told her about it.

The problem still persisted that very dangerous men were worried about what she would say during the trial, and that only ever ended one way. With a bullet to the head as she walked into court. I wasn’t letting that happen. I just didn’t know how to stop it yet.

I let my mind wander to possible scenarios as I half listened to the news. It was late and I was exhausted. Slumping into the couch, I listened to the latest developments.

“Now, an update on the case that has taken over the city. The Isabella Cullen trial will continue on Monday. The trial has been in full swing for months and we’ve already had a whirlwind of surprises, as one would expect when Hollywood’s biggest name goes on trial for murder.

“Our most recent development comes from an announcement from organizations such as the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, the Screen Actors Guild, the Recording Academy, and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. All of these prestigious organizations, as well as a handful of others, have announced that Cullen’s latest project, _Hopeless Kingdom_ , will be taken out of the running for this years’ ceremonies.

“For a majority of the year, Cullen has been a frontrunner for another sweep of every major award show. This is a devastating blow to her career in light of her arrest and criminal charges. All of the organizations released similar statements saying they do not condone the behavior associated with her charges.

“Cullen was on the track to become the most awarded actor in Academy Award history, and she only needed a Tony Award to complete EGOT status. This could very well be the complete downfall of what would have been the actress of the century.”

I turned off the television and threw the remote across the room. Christ. _Actress of the century_. Two years with me and the actress of the century ends up in jail on murder charges. I twirled Bella’s wedding rings, still hanging around my neck, between my fingers.

She found them one day when she noticed the string around my neck as I was visiting her. We had been in the middle of a particularly draining conversation with Jenks about her case and she looked over at me and told me that whenever I had any doubt, whether it be about her or work or anything, that I was to grab ahold of the rings and think of a happy memory of the two of us.

The woman was in jail and worried about how I was handling the situation. I followed her advice every time, though. So, tonight, I transported myself back to the night I got to watch her win two Academy Awards, got to see her in her element.

Just as I was about to finally fall asleep, a vision of Bella in my mind, there were loud knocks from the front door. I stumbled off of the couch, not caring I was only in a pair of boxers, and pulled the door open roughly.

I expected Emmett or Jasper, maybe even Jenks, but I did not expect to see Carlisle there.

“Son. Can we talk?”

“It’s one in the morning,” I countered, still not understanding what he was doing here. I hadn’t seen him in… I didn’t even know how long. The months started blending together.

“I know. Our flight just got in about an hour ago. I came straight here.”

I sighed but moved aside so he could enter. It’s not like I would be able to get back to sleep, anyway. Once inside we moved to the living room. I sat in a chair and Carlisle took the couch across from me.

“It’ll never be enough, but I’m sorry.”

I scoffed. “Sorry? Do you know how much shit you left behind here? How much trouble you caused while you were here? Jesus, my wife is in jail right now! If we had handled the Aro situation earlier she wouldn’t have been attacked, nearly murdered.”

“I know, Edward. I’ve made a hell of a lot of mistakes the last few years. You’re the only one that ever called me out on it, and so I took most of my aggravation out on you, and then Bella. It wasn’t fair to either of you.”

“Are you… okay now?” I wasn’t talking to him anymore if he was still fucked up. I didn’t need him getting in my way right now.

“Yes. I’ve got a clean bill of health.” He pulled out a card from his jacket. “This is the number of the specialist I was being treated by. I told him you might call in case you want to make sure I’m cleared.”

I took the card, fully intending to do just that. After I called the doctor’s superiors to make sure he was a reputable guy.

“I told you not to come back here.”

“I know. But, considering the circumstances, I thought you could use some help.”

“I’m taking care of it,” I said defensively, though I did need help. We were getting too close to Bella’s testimony and the threats were coming at an alarming rate. Something had to be done, but I didn’t know what.

“I have an idea, but I don’t think you’ll like it. Let me help you, please. I need to make amends, to the whole family, but you and Bella specifically.”

I looked at Carlisle for a few moments. He was the man who raised me, but I hadn’t actually called him _dad_ in years. We had a business relationship first, and a familial relationship second. He was closer with Emmett and Alice, but they weren’t in the same position I was.

I hated admitting I needed him, but I did. I had needed him to get me better prepared to take over the family, and I needed his years of expertise to help me get Bella out of this situation alive.

“What’s your plan?”

“Faking your death.” I blanched at the idea, but Carlisle continued. “Right now, everyone’s biggest fear is that Bella won’t be loyal to you, that she’ll turn on you and subsequently everyone else she knows about. We need to prove her loyalty.”

“How does faking my death do that?”

“If – when – Bella doesn’t turn on you, even when you’re not alive to face any consequences, they’ll know they have nothing to worry about.”

“There are already rumbles – people are getting eager to _take care_ of the problem.” Besides that, could I even fake my death? It had been done before, of course, but the whole reason Bella turned herself in was so we wouldn’t have to hide forever. Faking my death would mean a life on the run.

“Her first two weeks of testimony won’t scare anyone. They’ll wait until they know Call is about to start trying to make a deal. We’ll… take care of you before that. Make it a spectacle.”

“And then I’m on the run for the rest of my life?”

“No. I’ve already talked with the mayor. We can prove it is being done in self-defense.”

I scoffed at that. “Yeah, that’s worked so well for Bella so far.”

“We’ve got the mayor practically signing off on this, Edward. We can pull it off. You seem to be forgetting the mass of threats coming at you as well.”

“I can handle myself. I’m not leaving Bella alone. She’s withering away there.” There was no way I could leave her to face the hardest part of her trial alone. Her testimony would last weeks, maybe months. She was going to be forced to answer personal questions she didn’t want anyone to know the answers to. Carlisle expected me to run away right when she needed me the most?

“It’s the only way to keep both of you alive, ironically enough.” Was it? Were we this desperate?

“I’ll think about it.”

Carlisle nodded. He stood to leave and I followed him to the door. He stopped before he got there though and turned around. His arms wrapped tightly around me before I could react.

I couldn’t remember the last time my father hugged me. It must have been the stress of the last few months, or my lack of sleep, but I returned the hug.

“I truly am sorry for the trouble I caused. I’ll do what I can to make it right.”

Then he was gone.

_..Sick.._

The incessant ringing of my phone woke me from the mediocre sleep I was getting. My entire body tensed when I saw it was Jenks.

“We have a problem. Get to my office.”

“Fucking hell,” I muttered, dressing as quickly as I could. What else could go wrong? It had been a few days since Carlisle showed up at my door. As much as I didn’t want to do it, his plan seemed more and more like the only option. The worst part was I couldn’t tell Bella about it. She would think I was dead. 

It would destroy her, but there was no place secretive enough to get a message to her about the plan. All conversations at the police station would be compromised, and this wasn’t something we could risk getting out.

I still wasn’t completely sold on the idea, but it had taken up all of my mind since Carlisle mentioned it.

Jenks’ office was full of people when I arrived, which surprised me considering it was two in the morning on a Monday. I found Jenks in a swarm of people and he pulled me into his office.

“Have you ever seen this?” He handed me a paper, a photocopy of a list of some kind. There were names on it, names of some of my associates. Most were people I worked with closely and met with often. A majority of the names were underlined in black, but there were five in red.

“No. What is it?”

“The prosecution believes it’s your wife’s hit list.”

I barked out a laugh at that. There were at least twenty names on here. The closer I looked, the more it did look like the names were in Bella’s writing, though. There had to be an explanation for it. Maybe it was her way of remembering who was who, or a list of people she simply needed to meet with.

“Just because she has a list of names doesn’t mean it’s a hit list.”

“They found it on the floor of your home office. They just got confirmation that it’s Isabella’s handwriting, that’s why we’re just finding out about it. They’re not bringing it up until she’s on the stand. They want her to have to explain it.”

“Then she’ll explain it. We’ll ask her about it tomorrow.”

I was being followed. I could sense the eyes on me as I exited Jenks’ office. I came here alone, not caring enough to take the time to get the men I usually took with me everywhere. It didn’t matter, I was in the mood to get some of my anger out. The idiot who decided to follow me would take the brunt of it.

Instead of walking to my car, parked right outside of the building, I walked around the block. I turned down an empty alleyway, leaned against the brick wall, and waited.

A man rounded the corner not long after me, gun raised.

“What do you want?” I asked him, not paying any attention to the weapon. It wouldn’t help him.

“A lot of people want you dead. I’m just doing what I’m told.”

With a few simple moves, I had his gun on the ground and my hands around his neck. “I’m in no mood for this tonight.”

I took out all of my frustration on the poor schmuck who got stuck with trying to off me. By the time I left the alley he was a bloody pulp, but still alive. Depending on how long it took someone to notice him, he might make it if he got to the hospital in time. Probably not, though.

By the time I got back to the penthouse it was nearing four in the morning and I was tired enough that I thought I could pass out and get at least a few hours of sleep. As soon as I opened the door though, I knew that wasn’t happening.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, seeing Carlisle standing by the bar in the corner of the living room.

“If we’re going to do it, we need to do it within the next week.”

“I can’t do that to her. She’s already – thinking I was dead would be her breaking point.”

“Would it change your mind if I told you I planned on telling her as soon as I could?”

“There’s nowhere – “

“We’ll get her furlough for the funeral. I’ll tell her then.”

That changed things. It would be a few days before she really knew, though. If the situation were reversed, if I had to spend days thinking Bella was dead… could I put her through that? Even if it was the only way to make sure we were both safe?

_I’m sorry, baby. I have to._

“Okay. What’s your plan?”

_..Sick.._

Just an hour after Carlisle left, our plan mostly complete, I was sitting with Jenks in the visiting room, waiting for Bella. The only thing we needed was a sure-fire moment where we knew someone would attack me, to make sure the fake me got hit. I tried to push all of that out of my mind for now. This would be the last time I would see Bella until the trial was over. Until she was acquitted of charges and could join me. The alternative wasn’t an option.

I stood as the door opened, and Clearwater brought Bella in. He undid her cuffs and left without a word. Unable to control myself, I went to her immediately, pulling her to me. I squeezed her, probably too tightly considering how small she had gotten, but I needed her close. Needed to know I was doing the right thing.

Jenks cleared his throat behind us. “We have a lot to discuss, Mrs. Cullen.”

_The list_. I led Bella to the small table and sat beside her, her hand in mine.

“Have you ever seen this, Mrs. Cullen?” Jenks slid the same picture he showed me across the table toward Bella.

“It was a list Ben helped me make, while Edward was locked up. Why?”

“A list for what?”

Bella shrugged, seemingly unaware at how suspicious it was that her and Ben, then man currently on the run and accused of conspiring with her to commit murder, had made a list of names. “People that Edward usually met with on a weekly basis, people he thought might get… antsy that he was away and I was in charge. He said they were people I should talk to, try to calm them down.”

There was no hesitation in her explanation, no reason for us to think she wasn’t telling the truth. She seemed truly unsure as to why it was such a big deal.

“The prosecution believes this is a list of people you wished to be dead.”

“W-what?” Her eyes got wide and she read over the names again.

“I couldn’t pick any of these people out in a crowd. Why would I want them dead?”

“What about the five names underlined in red?” Jenks asked.

“They were people I was meeting with in a group. Most of the others were individual meetings.”

I looked at the names in red. Mike Newton. Brady Fuller. Jared Cameron. Royce King. Tyler Crowley. They were all, at one point, drug runners for the family. They had worked their way up, but they were some of the highest ranking non-blood related people in our organization. I had never met with them all as a group, but I could see the efficiency of doing so. Her explanation panned out to me.

The afternoon was spent briefing Bella on what she could and couldn’t say when she took the witness stand on Monday. Once Jenks left us alone, I was forced to have the conversation I was dreading.

I took both of Bella’s hands in mine, rubbing her wrists lightly. “Carlisle is back.”

“What?”

“He’s fine, back to normal. He’d like to visit you this weekend if you’re okay with it,” I told her. “There’s something else, too.”

“Oh?”

“Members of the… underground community are getting nervous about your testimony. They think I’ve given you information to help you get a reduced sentence. Plus, there’s what you already know on your own.” _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._

“So, what does that mean?” Bella asked, worry clear in her voice. 

“It means they see us both as threats. Carlisle wants me to leave town.”

It took a moment for Bella to understand what I was saying. I could see the realization on her face, the sadness that took over. “Oh. _Oh_. You need to leave… me?”

“No, you’re my wife, Bella. Nothing will ever change that. I just won’t be able to be in the courtroom with you for a while. It’s not safe for either of us.” Throwing in my own safety would be the only way to get her to understand why I was doing this. She wouldn’t care about her safety, but I knew she would care about mine, as ridiculous as it was.

It didn’t stop her from looking away from me, putting her head down to hide the tears that I could tell had started to fall. I pulled her into me and whispered my love to her over and over, not knowing anything else that could help her.

“The trial should be over in just a couple more months. Then it’s you and me again, I promise.” I brushed her hair out of her face, needing to see her more clearly. Even after everything she had been through, after spending months locked up, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. Some of her features had changed, mostly due to her weight loss, but she was still my Bella. Still the woman I would fake my own death for. Hell, I would plot my actual death if it meant saving her.

“So, this is the last time I’ll see you for a long time,” she whispered to me. Bella leaned her forehead against mine and I allowed myself a few moments to get lost in her chocolate eyes.

“Yes,” I admitted. “Carlisle will be at your trial, keeping an eye on you. I know you don’t really know him, not the real him, but you can trust him now. I wouldn’t let him near you if I thought he was a threat.”

I needed her to trust him. She needed someone she could count on when I wasn’t able to visit her. She would need someone to hold her hand during my funeral.

“Okay.”

“I love you,” I whispered to her. No matter how many times I said it, it would never be enough.

“I love you, too. A lot.”

“You need to take care of yourself, okay?” She was so fucking tiny. I couldn’t blame her for not having much of an appetite, but she was practically starving herself.

“I will. You’ll take care of yourself too, right?” Bella asked as she tugged lightly at the string around my neck.

“I will. I’ll be waiting for you, no matter what.” All I wanted to do was to tell her. Tell her I would be on the island waiting for her, tell her the plan so she wouldn’t have to worry. I made a promise to her I would never leave her alone, and I was about to break that promise.

“Who will take over everything?” she asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Emmett. He knows the ins and outs of everything. It’s just for a while.” It was for a lot longer than a while. A few years, maybe. But now Emmett would have Carlisle to help him. Emmett would have the final say over everything, but Carlisle would be there to guide him. Emmett was never fit to run everything in the long run, but he could handle a few years.

“Did you ever find the mole?”

“Uh, no, actually. They either left or stopped leaking information. Maybe they got scared. I’ll have to deal with it when I get back.” I had Emmett and Jasper looking into it, but they couldn’t find shit. The mole, whoever it was, got us into this mess. They gave Aro enough to get us arrested, they could’ve even had something to do with him showing up that night.

It was an odd question for Bella to ask, now of all times, but maybe she just needed a distraction, something to take her mind off of our separation.

There was a knock at the door and our time was up. I wrapped my arms around Bella, memorizing the feel of her in my arms. I gave her lips a soft peck, knowing I couldn’t give her anything more. Her arms wrapped around my neck, surprisingly strong. With her lips at my ear she told me she loved me, and then listed off the men on her list, underlined in red.

_..Sick.._

The names Bella gave me floated around in my mind as I drove home from the station. _Mike Newton. Brady Fuller. Jared Cameron. Royce King. Tyler Crowley._ Why were they important names? The red must have meant more than just the group meeting.

_“Did you ever find the mole?”_

Fuck. Did _she_ find the mole?

Carlisle was waiting for me when I got back to the penthouse. Thankfully, Emmett and Jasper weren’t here so we could talk about our plan.

“Do you know anything about the other mole Volturi had?” I asked him the second I got inside.

“No, why? Are they causing problems again?”

“They haven’t since Bella was arrested. But, if we can find the mole we can exploit them to cause my death. Felix and Demetri would jump at the chance if they saw an opening.”

I spent the rest of the weekend with the five men Bella told me about. A little torture did wonders to make Mike Newton squeal.

_..Sick.._

I didn’t leave the penthouse much after Bella started her testimony. The threats were coming in waves now. I was suddenly grateful for the stream that was available of the courtroom. I was able to watch what was unfolding just a few blocks away from me while Carlisle and I finished our preparations.

Dental records were changed. Fingerprints replaced. Faking a death was complicated business.

Call was brutal as he questioned her. I expected it, and I had tried to warn Bella about it, but I could see the shock and embarrassment at some of the questions she was asked. Today, her past relationship with Jacob Black had been exposed. Call was building her up to be an adulterer in the eyes of the jury. An affair with a married man, and our rendezvous in my office were brought up frequently. 

She looked so defeated as she left the courtroom today. Her eyes on the ground and her hair falling limply around her face.

A phone started ringing, but it wasn’t my cell. I looked around and saw the burner I had gotten, just for Bella. The phone for her to call, just in case.

“Hello?” I answered. My ear was immediately filled with sobs. Gut wrenching sobs.

“ _Bella_ ,” I breathed out, wishing there was anything else I could do to comfort her. “It’s okay, Bella. Fuck, I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I can’t keep doing this, Edward,” she said once her cries calmed down.

“Just a little while longer, sweetheart.”

“I miss you, just seeing you sitting behind me. Any my little daisy every day. I just – I miss you.”

“I miss you, too. Every day, Bella.” I missed her warm little body cuddled up against me at night. I missed her music blaring throughout the house as she got ready. I missed the way she would smile at me like I was the greatest thing in the world.

“Whatever happens, no matter what, you have to stay strong. You have to come back to me, okay?” I tried so hard to get her to see what was about to happen. It made me nauseous knowing what I was about to put her through.

“Okay.”

A few days after her phone call everything was ready. I was already on Carlisle’s plane, on my way to the island the morning it would happen. I had the news on the television across from me and a drink in my hand. I would need it for what I was about to witness. My wife, my beautiful, kind, loving wife, falling apart at the sight of my dead body.

The cameras were already rolling as Bella was ushered in. She got her hands freed as she sat down, and her eyes landed on the daisy in front of her. It was cruel, but Carlisle suggested it to truly sell that I was the one coming to see Bella. I always left her a daisy, her favorite flower, on the desk whenever I was in court with her.

Her eyes darted from the daisy to the spot where I, and then Carlisle, would sit behind her. I could just barely hear the shots over the television stream, but I could see the reaction to them in the courthouse.

I watched as the guards let Bella slip by them in the commotion, horrified as she started stumbling toward the door. “Fuck, don’t look, baby,” I whispered to myself as she saw the scene behind the door before a guard pulled her away.

I heard her scream my name, saw her trying to fight off the guards that were pulling her away. I expected to feel the same devastation that has followed me for months, but I couldn’t feel anything at all anymore. I was numb as I watched Bella get dragged away by the guards, screaming that she wanted to know if I was okay.

_I’m not, Bella._

_..Sick.._

A week later I had settled into the island. It was a lot lonelier that I imagined it would be. Last time I was here Bella was with me. Our memories on the island were some of my happiest times. It was where we grew our relationship. We had never spent more than a few days together in a row before that, but we were hooked on each other already.

The trial was starting up again today. Bella had been granted furlough, like Carlisle said she would, and I saw pictures of her attending my funeral. The same numbness I felt when I saw her react to the murder followed me all week, especially at the look on her face in the pictures.

Now, she was sitting back on the witness stand, forced to go through more questioning by Call.

“Your honor, the prosecution would like to offer Mrs. Cullen a one-time deal. If she admits her guilt to the murder of Aro Volturi and can disclose information on Edward Cullen’s involvement in certain past crimes we will drastically reduce the sentences we have lined up following her prosecution.”

 _There it is_. Call played the exact move we wanted him to.

“Your honor, this is neither the time nor place for a deal like this. It should be done -“

“We’d like Mrs. Cullen to make the decision on her own, your honor. Consulting with Mr. Cullen’s former lawyer is hardly ethical, do you think?”

Bella looked horrible. Her eyes were sunken in, deep circles underneath them. It didn’t seem like she had slept in days. She took a few deep breaths before responding to Call. “My husband… he is – _was_ – my best friend. The best man I have ever known. Everything he did from the moment we met was to make me happy. He would make sure my favorite snack was waiting for me when I got to a hotel room, or he would surprise me when I was on tour, even if it was just for an hour or two.

“The first week after we got married, he gave me a gift every day. He told me I was the greatest gift he could ask for, so it was the least he could do. He held me every night for months while I cried because I couldn’t have his child, and already lost one of them.” The tears she had obviously been holding back overflowed then, but she kept going through her silent cries.

“He knew I would always go to the shower to cry, it was my secret spot when I just needed to cry in peace. But, he figured out what I did and would follow me in there and just sit on the counter because he didn’t want me crying alone. He never wanted me to be _alone_.

“I called him a few nights before he was shot. I cried and told him I missed him. I think – I think he was coming here that day because he didn’t want me to feel so alone. He was coming here because he would do anything for me, no matter the consequences. It’s my fault he’s dead.”

“Jesus,” I muttered to myself. It was horrible timing, Bella’s phone call and the death. I never imagined that she would use those two things to blame herself for what happened. Of course, by now she should know I was still alive. Did she believe Carlisle? Shit, did she think he was lying, trying to deceive her so she didn’t take a deal?

I watched as Bella tried to wipe the tears away even as new ones quickly replaced them. “I have never denied the fact that I killed Aro Volturi. He broke into my home and attacked me. I don’t deserve to go to prison for his death. But, I would gladly spend the rest of my life in prison because I caused the death of my husband. That is something I will never be able to forgive myself for.”

I saw Bella’s eyes burn into Call. “So, you can make all of the deals you want. You can ask me to make up stories about how Edward did the horrible things you blame him of and you can try to bribe me with my freedom. But no amount of freedom is worth turning my back on the man who died trying to put a smile on my face.”

I didn’t know what I ever did to deserve Isabella Cullen to be my wife. I didn’t deserve the absolute love and trust she instilled in me. But as soon as I had her back, I would never let her go again.


	17. Call It What You Want

_All my flowers grew back as thorns, windows boarded up after the storm. He built a fire just to keep me warm. All the drama queens taking swings, all the jokers dressing up as kings, they fade to nothing when I look at him. And I know I make the same mistakes every time. Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right. ~ Taylor Swift, Call It What You Want_

_..Sick.._

I had been on the island for two months. Alone. Most days I spent watching the trial, and on the off days I spent my time burning off my excess anger going on runs around the island. I was always angry at something or someone. It was usually Embry Call.

I’ve had to watch Bella become a completely different person because of him. After the shooting and her refusal of his deal, he held nothing back. He used everything against her; her past, the fact that Ben had skipped town, my death. He made it impossible for people to see her as anything other than a disturbed girl who took things too far.

When Call was done with her, Jenks did everything he could to repair her image. It was hard, though, because of how emotionally distant Bella had become since the shooting. I couldn’t tell if it was an act or if she actually thought I was dead. That was good, it was what we needed, but it was _too_ good. For me, at least. It was great for what we needed it to be.

But there were reports that the precinct had her on a strict twenty-four-hour watch. A suicide watch. There were multiple instances where Bella got physically sick on the stand, usually after Call started asking her questions about me. She was making herself sick over this. If it was all part of her act, she really was the actress of the fucking century. But, if it wasn’t, I had destroyed my wife completely.

Every few weeks I would talk to Carlise and he told me everyone backed off of Bella after she shot down Call. Criminals from around the city actually applauded her. They loved her response, admired her loyalty. Loyalty was of the utmost importance to those men. They knew if their own wives were in her position they might not have made the same decision to risk everything.

Today, we would know. The jury had been deliberating for three days, a surprisingly short period of time considering the size of the case, but they were done. Bella’s fate was decided.

I held my breath as I watched the judge address the jury. “Defendant Isabella Cullen has been charged with conspiracy to commit manslaughter and murder in the first degree. What say you, madam foreperson, is the defendant not guilty or guilty of the conspiracy to commit manslaughter?”

I wasn’t a religious man. I had no doubt that every God out there had turned their back on me a long time ago. No matter the religion, murder is typically frowned upon in all of them. But in that moment, all I could do was pray to whoever would listen, beg them to bring her back to me.

I kept my eyes on Bella, though I was tempted to focus on the juror speaking as well. There was no doubt that Bella had convinced herself she was going to prison for the rest of her life. She stood next to Jenks, arms clasped in front of her with her head down. She already looked defeated.

“Not guilty, your honor.”

“Fuck.” My head fell into shaking hands as I leaned over on the couch. _Not guilty_.

“Is the defendant not guilty or guilty of murder in the first degree?”

I looked at the screen again and saw Bella staring at the jury, complete shock evident on her face. _Halfway there, baby._

“Not guilty, your honor.”

The relief was instant. A year of constant worry, constantly not knowing what the future held… all of it was gone. I watched as Jenks spoke about getting Bella released from custody and saw as she shakily sat back down. She still looked so sad, but I hoped it was still the act she was putting on, playing the grieving widow.

Soon, she would be here. With me, where she belonged.

I walked over to the open door, looking out over the small beach in front of me. In a matter of days, a boat with Bella in it would be on that water.

_I’ll see you soon, baby._

_..Sick.._

The night the trial ended I started cooking. I had managed to learn a thing or two in the kitchen during my time here. It was a good way to pass the time. I made some of Bella’s favorites, figuring we could heat anything up we wanted during her first few days back. It was mostly just to keep myself distracted.

I wanted nothing more than to be there the second she walked out of that precinct, finally a free woman. I wanted her to run to me, and to finally be able to be with her without constant supervision. _Soon_.

I dropped everything when the phone rang, the number only Carlisle had.

“Hello?”

“She’ll be released tomorrow at eight in the morning. I’ll have Banner here to do a quick physical, and Alice has demanded that she get pampered a bit before we get on the plane. She doesn’t know where I’m taking Bella, just that I’m getting her out of town for a while.”

I hated the delay, but I figured Bella could use some pampering. She was usually such a stickler for her personal hygiene. It would only be a few hours. I could handle that.

“Will you tell her I –“ Nothing seemed right, nothing good enough to get my true feelings across.

“I think she’s still apprehensive about the whole issue. I don’t know if she trusts me completely. The only thing that is going to make her believe you’re waiting for her is to see you. I’ll get her to you as soon as possible, Edward.”

“Take care of her for me,” I told him. “Her wedding rings are – “

“I got them after the funeral. I’ll make sure she gets them.” The funeral. _Christ, I made her go to my funeral_. She should hate me when she sees me.

I hung up with Carlisle and heard a boat not long after, but I knew it wasn’t who I needed it to be.

Ben had been here since Bella’s arrest. He volunteered time and time again to go and turn himself in, but I never let him. It did look suspicious that he suddenly disappeared, but the police would have still charged Bella no matter what.

He docked his little speed boat and found me in the outdoor kitchen.

“Carlisle called. I’m bringing them over tomorrow afternoon,” he said, coming over and trying to steal one of the burgers I was making.

“That’s not for you,” I grunted. “There are leftovers in the fridge.”

“You’re so domesticated,” he laughed, going to the fridge to find something.

I was domestic for now. I could cook and take care of myself as well as any other twenty-nine-year-old could. It wasn’t that I refused to do these things at home, I just didn’t have time.

We ate in silence. The day had been hectic and stressful. It was nice to have some peace for a while.

Ben broke the silence. “I didn’t think she’d get off.”

I wanted to be mad at him. It was my instinct to do so. But, if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t think she was getting off on the charges either.

_..Sick.._

I made sure everything was ready for her the next morning. I had purchased clothing for her a while ago and had it all clean and put away waiting for her. Admittedly, lingerie section took up a majority of her dresser.

I didn’t expect Bella to be ready for that right when she got here. She had been through hell, and I fully expected her to be completely pissed at me for all of it. I brought her into this life, I exposed her to this world. If she had never met me, she wouldn’t have spent a year in jail, and she wouldn’t have been blacklisted from all of the organizations she belonged to. She would still have a prosperous career.

I tried not to focus on all of the what ifs and focused on the now. In just a few hours she would be here. I could apologize and we could get back to being us.

The next few hours were spent pacing nearly the entire length of the island. I took a few laps around it, hoping to calm myself down, but nothing worked. When I heard the boat in the distance I retreated inside. I wanted to watch her, see her reaction as she got to the island. If she was going to be pissed at me the second she saw me, I needed to catch a moment of happiness before that happened.

She was sitting in the boat, her hair blowing behind her in the wind. It looked like her lips were moving, but I couldn’t hear her conversation with Ben over the boat engine. She was eager, jumping out of the boat before Ben was at the beach. Bella trekked up the sand, her feet getting covered in the process.

I did get to see a moment of happiness on her face. She looked up at the house and smiled, her true Bella smile. _Fuck, you’re beautiful, baby._ She kept smiling as she looked around the island.

When I exited the house, I forced myself to lean against one of the stone columns to keep from running to her. I didn’t know how she would react to seeing me, I didn’t want to startle her.

I let her see me there, watch me for a few moments, before I slowly walked toward her. I couldn’t help it, the pull I felt when she was just a few feet away. I needed to be closer, needed to touch her.

With her right in front of me, I froze. I wanted to grab her, pull her so every inch of her was touching every inch of me; her lips, her hips, her little hands digging into my back, I wanted it all. Still, I waited for her to make the first move.

A shaky hand fell right above my heart. I wanted to moan at the contact, the warmth of her hand on my bare skin, but I stayed silent. A small giggle escaped her, and in a few seconds it was an exuberant laughter. Music to my ears.

“Jesus, you’re really – “ Bella’s voice halted in her throat, keeping her from finishing her thought.

My self-control was at its end. I cupped her cheek in my right hand, reveling in the soft skin, but making a mental note to cook her food that would help her put on some weight. She was entirely too skinny, I could feel her cheekbone under my hand.

I watched her as I dipped my head toward her but saw no sign of discomfort. It was my intention to just brush my lips across hers, just to feel the softness under my own, but once I tasted her, it wasn’t enough. I traced her plump bottom lip with my tongue and moaned at the undiluted taste of _Bella_. She whimpered as our tongues tangled together and my barely-there control disappeared completely.

My hands gripped under her thighs and I lifted her easily in my arms. I tried not to get distracted by how light she was, focusing instead on the way her arms wrapped around my neck, and the feel of her legs wrapping tightly around my waist.

Bella pulled away, but it didn’t seem to be out of discomfort, just a need to breathe. I moved down to her neck, needing more of her, always more. When she buried her head in my hair, I pulled away from her and looked up. She was stunning; the sun behind her, bright blue sky in the background… she was my Bella.

“I love you,” she told me with a smile.

“I love you,” I repeated, letting her slide down my body to her feet again.

“We have a lot to talk about,” she said. “But all I can think about right now is that gorgeous shower I know is inside.”

Her excitement at the shower both excited me and gave me a pang of guilt. She was adorable, thinking about the shower inside obviously causing the big smile on her face. I also understood why she was so excited. Showering while incarcerated was no fun to say the least.

I pushed the thought out of my head and grabbed her hand, leading her inside. “Can I make you anything to eat while you shower?”

“No, you can shower with me, though.”

When we got to the bathroom I left Bella by the counter and started the shower. I looked over at her, staring at herself in the mirror. I gave her a minute alone before placing a gentle hand on her arm. She jumped, but I expected it.

“It’s okay. You’re safe, now,” I told her, kissing her cheek softly.

“It doesn’t seem real. What if I finally cracked, and all of this is just in my head?” Bella’s voice was small, scared, as she spoke. I could see the panic start to settle in as her eyes got wide and her chest started to heave with heavy breaths. She squeezed her eyes shut and a few tears escaped the edges.

“It’ll take you a while to feel normal. You’ll feel like you can’t leave a room, or you’ll feel phantom hand cuffs around your wrists. It’s okay to cry and scream and be angry. But you’ll get through this, _we’ll_ get through this.”

Bella nodded and slowly opened her eyes. I smiled at her through the mirror, hoping to comfort her in any little way I could. I knew the next few months were going to be a big adjustment for her.

Her mood shifted as she started toward the shower. Bella left a trail of clothing behind her. Again, I had to actively not think about how much weight she had lost. But, _shit_ , she was probably under a hundred pounds now.

“Aren’t you going to join me?” she asked as soon as she was inside, under the warm spray of the water. Adding my shorts to the pile of her clothing, I followed her in.

I handed Bella her shampoo, the brand she always used, and got a smile in return. I let her focus on her hair while I washed every inch of her body. I dragged the washcloth along her skin while looking for any marks or injuries that weren’t there the last time I saw her. Thankfully, she seemed fine, as fine as she could be.

When I was done with her, she grabbed another cloth and took over washing me. I selfishly let her, enjoying her little hands roaming my body after so long apart.

“Your arms are bigger,” she mumbled. Bella dropped the cloth and wrapped a hand around my bicep. I didn’t know if they were bigger, or her hands smaller, but I didn’t correct her.

“I’ve got a lot of free time,” I shrugged. There were weights in the small storage room here that I used sometimes.

Bella’s hands trailed along my arms and I knew what she was about to discover. “When did you get that?” she asked, her fingers lightly trailing over the script on my arm.

“About a week after you were arrested.” It was a late-night decision, the tattoo. I just needed a reminder that Bella was mine, no matter what.

“Why didn’t you ever show it to me?”

“There was never a good time,” I shrugged.

“What does… mo grá mean?”

“My love.”

“ _Oh_.” Her voice was deep and her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me down to her level. Her lips capturing mine sent shock waves throughout my body. I had my hands around her waist, pulling her as close to me as possible.

“We have a lot to talk about,” Bella panted as we broke apart.

I wrapped us both up in towels and led Bella to the bedroom. “You have some clothes in there,” I said, pointed to the dresser I had filled with clothing.

She was adorable, rubbing the fabric of the shorts between her fingers as I walked her up to the roof. It would be sunny and open up there, the perfect atmosphere for us to talk about…. Anything and everything.

I sat with Bella’s legs over my lap and traced her soft skin. “Where to start?” I asked.

We jumped right in. I told her why we had to fake my death, about the threats coming at both of us regarding her testimony. I could feel her frustration, see the scars the whole ordeal left on her. Bella asked about the mole and I told her she was the reason we caught Mike and were able to exploit his lies to get them to work for us. After I told her we would have to go back to Chicago, eventually, she got quiet for a few moments.

“I have a confession,” Bella whispered, the soft smile fading from her face. I frowned, not liking wherever this was going. She pulled her legs off of my lap, but my moment of disappointment at the loss of contact was gone when she settled herself over my lap instead. I traced the soft skin of the thighs as they sat on either side of my hips and repressed a moan as she started tugging on the hair at the base of my neck.

“I did it.” I frowned. _Did what?_ “I planned it.”

She couldn’t mean… “What did you do, Bella?”

“I met with everyone from the list I gave you that night. Just a routine meeting that Ben said you had with them often, so it wasn’t anything unusual. When we were in the elevator with all of them I let them overhear that I didn’t want Ben around the house that night.

“I knew one of them, the mole, would tell Aro. When he knew I was alone, he would want to get his revenge. I also knew I had to drag him out of hiding if I was going to get you out.”

“Bella –“ Shit, she couldn’t be telling the truth, could she? Fuck, did she actually have a hit list?

“I wanted him gone, and I knew you did too. He sent our lives into a tailspin over and over. He nearly killed me, took away our option for children of our own… I know he’s not the only one to blame for the shooting but he was a major contributor.

“And the thought of that man being related to me made me sick to my stomach every time I thought of it. He would have held it over us forever, Edward.

“But, I needed to prove to the police that you had nothing to do with his disappearance. So… I took care of it.” 

“Bella…” The way she talked about it made it sound so simple. She saw a problem, found a solution, and took care of it. It was anything but simple, though. It was exactly what she had been charged with. Conspiracy to commit murder: Ben had to have known her plan. They were too close, and he never would have left her alone if Bella didn’t tell him why. Hell, he helped her make the list. First degree murder: she knew Aro would take the opportunity to come for her, her whole plan depended on it.

So many little things went in to her selling the home invasion idea. She could have kept a gun right next to her all night, but she ran to the office. She could have stayed awake all night waiting for him, but she was in bed crying as she waited. She even called the police, reported it right away.

It was brilliant. Reckless, but brilliant.

I had a thousand questions in my mind for her, most of them about how she could have kept it all to herself, but I understood that decision, too. She couldn’t tell me until everything was over, until she didn’t have to put on the act of victim anymore.

We couldn’t talk about this too much. I wanted all of the details, of course, but I also knew we needed our stories completely straight, just in case. Bella was off the hook, but I wasn’t taking any chances.

I gripped her chin, forcing our eyes to meet. “We are never going to discuss this again, do you understand?” She nodded, and I collapsed back into the couch cushions.

“Bella, you…” _Shit, you got away with murder._

“I know.”

_..Sick.._

I let Bella sleep for as long as she wanted. As soon as I was out of the bed her body instinctively took over the new space, her arms and legs stretching out to take over nearly the whole bed. I left her there with a kiss to her cheek before retreating to the small living room to do some reading.

For the last year, all of my time had been spent worrying about the trial or reading about it. It was odd not to have that weight on my shoulders anymore. Still, I spent the morning reading articles about Bella’s release.

On the tablet in my hand, I saw pictures of Carlisle escorting Bella from the precinct next to every article I read. Bella’s publicist had apparently put out a statement that Bella was taking time for herself, giving herself the opportunity to properly mourn my death.

I lost myself in the articles, made myself lunch from the leftovers, and checked on Bella a few times throughout the day. I wasn’t surprised she slept so long, and I wasn’t surprised by her little meltdown last night. I hadn’t planned on having her like that so soon after she got back, but when she crawled into my lap and started grinding her pussy into me, I couldn’t hold back.

The sun was starting to set when a soft “Hi,” came from the bedroom behind me. I looked back and saw Bella’s head sticking up from the bed. It was an oddly laid out house, there were no real doors on anything other than the bathroom, so I could see right through to the bedroom where Bella was.

“Hi,” I told her with a smile. I watched her modestly wrap herself in the bedsheet before she stumbled over to me. Bella sat next to me, but it wasn’t enough. I freed her legs from the confines of the sheet and pulled her over to straddle me. _Much better._

“How are you feeling?” I asked her, my arms dipping beneath the sheet to play with her soft skin.

“Good, I think,” she said, followed by an impressive growl from her stomach. “Hungry, I guess.”

“What would you like for dinner?”

“Dinner? What time is it?”

“Six.”

“What?”

I smiled at her adorable confusion as she looked around, suddenly realizing the sun was starting to set. “You were exhausted, it’s expected.”

Her bare shoulder was right in front of me, so I was helpless to the call to feel her skin under my lips. I stood with Bella in my arms, her limbs all instinctively wrapping around me so she didn’t fall and took her to the bathroom where I set her on her feet in front of the shower.

“Take a shower, I’ll make you some food for when you’re done.”

“I can help –“

I stopped her with a kiss. “Let me spoil you, please?” I asked. For so long I couldn’t do anything for her. I intended to make up for that now.

I expected Bella to fight me on the subject, but I got a sweet smile and a thank you instead. Leaving her to shower in peace, I went to the kitchen and started grilling us a few burgers. Just as I was taking them off of the grill I heard Bella come out the sliding door, but she never made it to the kitchen.

Turning off everything flammable, I found her standing in the small pool, just one step in. Her face was turned up toward the sun, her eyes wandering the skyline. She was wearing those soft cotton shorts again, the ones she always tended to wear when we were here.

I wrapped my arms around her from behind, thankful that she didn’t flinch at my sudden touch. Placing a kiss to her cheek I whispered, “You’re beautiful.”

She giggled, and it made my chest tighten. I missed that sound so goddamn much. “I’m a mess actually.”

“No. You’re strong, resilient, magnificent…” I could list a thousand words to describe her, and mess wouldn’t be one of them. My hands skimmed along her sides, resting at the hem of her soft shorts. “I love these little shorts you always wear.”

“I love you.”

“You shouldn’t,” I sighed.

Bella spun around, nearly falling in the pool in the process, and glared at me. “Why would you say that?”

“You could’ve had… everything, Bella. You’re so fucking talented, and because of me you had to use that talent to commit perjury instead of going on to win a few more Academy Awards. I ruined you.” I was constantly conflicted. Once I had Bella, I knew I could never let her go. I was too selfish for that. But if she had never met me… she would have been so phenomenal. I couldn’t bring myself to wish I had never met her, but it might have given her a better deal than she got with me now.

Bella stepped out of the pool, and gently pushed me into it. I went along with whatever her plan was, and eventually she stood about eyelevel with me a step into the pool. She had my chin in a strong grip and forced our eyes to lock.

“I was drowning before I met you. I let everyone work me until I was so worn down I ended up in the hospital. I let people walk all over me and did whatever I was told. You freed me, Edward.

“You showed me what really mattered in life. I don’t care if I never win another award. I don’t care if I ever act again, because I have you. For the first time I have a family that truly cares about me.

“I love Charlie, but things will never be able to go back to how they were with him. I haven’t talked to your family much, but I know they’re not going to tiptoe around me or make me feel bad for what happened. My father didn’t even go to your funeral, but Jasper didn’t let go of my hand the entire time. They were there for me when I had no one else.

“I was scared and alone before I met you. You didn’t ruin me, Edward. You saved me.”

_Fuck. You saved me, too, baby._

Bella smirked. “Besides, I’m already one of the most awarded people at the Academy Awards. The only person that has more than me is Katharine Hepburn.”

_Damn_. “Really?”

I got a kiss to my forehead. “You’re really clueless when it comes to pop culture, aren’t you?”

“Not when it comes to you.” I smirked. “I spent a lot of time on Google before our weekend in Los Angeles.”

“Yeah? Find out any juicy gossip?”

I got out of the pool, returning to my usual height above her. “I found out that I was a lucky bastard that someone like you would want me.”

“I always want you, but right now I want you to tell me what’s for dinner because I’m fucking starving.”

I lifted her over my shoulder, unable to resist the opportunity to give her ass a firm squeeze. I didn’t expect to get one in return. As we ate, I kept a close eye on how much Bella had. I would need to look up what kinds of food would help her gain the right kind of weight back. Maybe I could convince her to start our self-defense training again, too.

We were at the sink, quietly washing dishes together when she started giggling. “Want to let me in on the joke?”

“It’s just… we’re quite the pair, aren’t we? I just got off on murder charges, and you’re supposedly dead, but here we are. Just doing the dishes like nothing is wrong.”

It was pretty comical. No one in the world would be able to guess this was how our story would have ended up. Of course, it wasn’t the end. Just a new beginning.


	18. New Year's Day

_You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi, I can tell that it’s gonna be a long road. I’ll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babe. Or if you strike out and you’re crawling home. ~ Taylor Swift, New Year’s Day_

_..Sick.._

The first few weeks after her arrival on the island, I focused on helping Bella adjust. She was still jumpy, but I didn’t expect that to go away for a while. She stayed outside a lot, and I tried to give her space. I didn’t want to hover or make her feel like I was coddling her. But, at the same time, I wanted to take care of her, make sure she knew she was safe here. It was a fine line to walk, and I wasn’t sure how well I was walking it.

It was late and the sky was completely black as clouds covered the moon and stars. I found Bella sitting outside, reading by the porch lights. I knelt beside her, a hand on her bare knee.

“You doing okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” she said, a small smile on her mouth that didn’t reach her eyes.

“I’ll be in bed if you need anything,” I told her, leaving her with a soft kiss before I retreated back into the house. Bella didn’t sleep a lot. I knew it was because she had nightmares, but I also knew she couldn’t keep it up for long. She was still physically and emotionally exhausted.

I hadn’t been asleep for long when I heard breaking glass. My mind went to the worst-case scenario and I jumped up and ran toward the sound. I found Bella on the floor in the outdoor kitchen, picking up a broken glass with her bare hands.

“What happened?” I asked, picking her and her bare feet up and placing her at the table so I could clean it up.

“I broke a glass,” she giggled.

I looked at the counter and saw an empty bottle of wine. Bella would have an even lower alcohol tolerance after her weight loss. A bottle of wine before got her way past tipsy.

“Any reason for the party?” I asked, nodding toward the wine.

“Yes.”

“Care to share?” I questioned, tossing the glass shards in the nearby trash.

“You look at me different.”

I frowned and turned to her. “What?”

“After I told you what I did. You don’t look at me the same, and you don’t act the same.”

“You think… I’m judging you for what you did?” Jesus, if only she knew half of the things I had done. I had no judgement against her for what she did.

“Yes,” Bella replied with a hiccup. “Plus, we’ve only had sex once. Once! The last time we were on the island it was a daily, sometimes hourly activity.”

I leaned against the counter and stared at her. Nothing she ever did was what I expected. Her first night here I gave in to my need for her, but she was distraught after, too overwhelmed. I wanted to give her space, let her have time to get used to being here. I didn’t think jumping her and doing everything I had wanted to for the past year to her body was the way to go about that.

“I’ve murdered far less vile men than Aro Volturi, for doing far less to me, Bella. I’m not judging you. I don’t see you any differently than I did before.”

“But you – “

“I’ve just been trying to give you some space. I didn’t want to overwhelm you with anything.”

“I like being overwhelmed by you,” she whispered. She looked over at me, her eyes nearly as dark as the sky above us. I knew that look, it was one of my favorites.

“You do, huh?” I asked, walking to her until I had my hands on her hips. “What else do you like?” I leaned down to her neck, intending to kiss my favorite spot, but her scent dazed me. My tongue came out, just for a quick taste, but ended up trailing up her neck, along her chin.

“I like when you talk to me, whisper dirty things in my ear like the first time we met,” Bella breathed out. I rewarded her with a kiss to her cheek, then waited for more. “I like it when your hands are everywhere, like you can’t decide where you want to touch me.” She got a kiss below her ear for that one. “And I like it when you call me baby, because usually it’s when were like this.” She accentuated her point by forcefully pulling my lips to hers. _Game on._

I picked her up, my hands under her thighs, and quickly carried her into our room where I deposited her on our bed.

“So many things I could do to you,” I mumbled. I pulled her to the edge of the bed and stood over her. Bella sat up, but her head only reached the center of my chest. She took advantage of my shirtlessness and started trailing kisses along my bare skin, her hands roaming my back.

I enjoyed her warm, wet kisses and leaned down to tug her tank top over her head. I leaned over her on the bed until she relaxed against the mattress. Standing back up, I dropped my boxers quickly, then slid Bella’s shorts down her legs.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” I situated myself between her legs, spread them as far as they could go, and kissed her hip to hip. She was squirming and whining and her hands fisted themselves in my hair.

“I missed you,” I whispered, placing a kiss right atop her clit. I would let her guess whether I was talking about her or her pussy. By the sound of her cries above me, I knew she was impatient. So, I quickly slipped two fingers inside, massaging the spot I knew would bring a new wave of wetness on my fingers.

I started out slow; slow kisses, licks, and fingers, then steadily built up my speed. One of her hands stayed knotted in my hair, while the other tore at the bed sheets beneath her. Bella’s head was thrown back, her body arched to give me the perfect amount of access to her.

Her moans hit the pitch that told me she was seconds away from coming, so I doubled my efforts; pressed more firmly to her clit and gave her a few hard thrusts of my fingers before she convulsed around me.

Bella was still panting as I kissed my way up her body. She looked at me with a satisfied smirk. I gave her a quick, hard kiss before I leaned back on my knees. Pulling her toward me, I grabbed her left leg and held it against my chest. My lips trailed along her calf, her ankle, and her little toes before positioning us just right for me to slide into her heat.

“God, I love you,” Bella moaned out as soon as I was completely inside.

“Me or my cock?” I grunted as I started slow, even thrusts.

“Both.”

I tried to keep my movements slow, but when I felt the walls of her pussy start to clench around me, I couldn’t control myself any longer. I threw her leg off of my shoulder and grabbed one of the pillows Bella had thrown down the bed earlier, placing it under her hips.

“Come for me, baby,” I told her, already feeling her orgasm shoot through her. I fucked her through it and watched as her eyes rolled back into her head, and then came back a minute later, still glazed over as I pounded into her.

I leaned over, one hand gripping the bed next to her for support and the other tugging on a perfect pink nipple. “One more, Bella.”

She mumbled incoherently until I captured her lips with mine. I grunted into our kiss, feeling her walls start to flutter again. “That’s it, baby, one more.”

Bella shouted my name just as I felt my own release shoot down my spine. I collapsed on my side next to her and she immediately cuddled up next to me.

I felt completely content, a foreign feeling for me. For right now, I had nothing to worry about. I had my wife by my side; happy, healthy, and all mine.

_..Sick.._

A few days later, there was a storm coming. An actual meteorological one, and I could sense an emotional one coming from Bella as well. She always kept everything so bottled up, and spending a year isolated from people for so long was bound to keep her even more emotionally closed off. She needed to scream and yell and vent about everything. I sounded backward, but I needed to get her to crack before I could put her back together.

I waited as long as I could to shut the storm covers because I had a feeling it might set her off. It darkened the whole house, covering every window and door to protect it from the storm. We would be completely enclosed, much like she was in her jail cell.

Right now, Bella was standing on the sandy beach, watching the storm clouds roll in. Flashes of lightening brightened the clouds before thick cracks of thunder sounded across the water. 

She jumped when I put my hand on her lower back. “We’ve got to get inside and lock up the house,” I told her. She looked at me for a second, fear clear in her eyes, but she grabbed my hand and went inside with me.

Bella watched me with wary eyes as I went through the process of locking up the house. It was really just the push of a button, but I also made sure every light we had was on so the house didn’t seem so dark and closed up.

When I was finished I took a seat next to Bella on the couch. She seemed very stiff and rigid and didn’t lean back next to me like she normally would have.

“I don’t like this,” she whispered as the rain started to sprinkle against the roof.

“It’s not like… there. You’re not here against your will,” I told her.

“Well, I can’t go outside now, can I?” she snapped.

“Just because it isn’t safe right now. Not because you legally can’t,” I said, keeping my voice calm despite her growing anger. The rain started pounding outside, and I felt Bella’s anger growing inside. _Let it out, baby._

“I don’t like this,” she repeated, but a new desperation was in her voice.

I decided to probe her a little bit, hopefully get her to finally talk about everything she had been hiding away. “What don’t you like?”

“I don’t want to be locked up in here. I know – “

She looked so conflicted, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. “Know what?”

“I know I deserved it. I deserved to be locked up, still should be, but… _fuck_. They just… they tore me apart. Not only did they try to destroy my character, they destroyed _me_. That man, he asked me about everything, questions about us that no one else should know the answers to. I don’t even remember half of what I said.” Bella jumped up from the couch, almost like it had burned her, and started pacing around the living room.

“Especially after you… I saw a smile on his face every time he said your name and it made me flinch or cry. He liked _torturing_ me.” The words started coming out of her mouth faster, like she had no control over her verbal filter anymore.

“That, I didn’t deserve. I may be a… horrible person now. I’ve come to terms with who I am, but no one deserves to have their dead spouse thrown in their face day after day for months.”

“You’re not a horrible person, Bella,” I told her calmly. “You may have guided him, baited him, but you didn’t force him to break into our home or wrap his hands around your neck. What you did, at the core, _was_ self-defense. If you were anyone other than my wife the prosecution would have been much more lenient with you. No one would have judged you, but the Cullen name usually comes with the automatic assumption that we’re guilty of the worst crime imaginable.”

Bella was quiet for a few minutes, frozen where she was pacing in the middle of the room and staring at me with wide eyes. “That’s not fucking fair.”

“No, it isn’t.”

Bella was never one to openly complain, not about anything big. She would rarely complain about prejudices she might experience because she knows there are much worse ones out there. But I needed her to get it all out.

“So, if I was anyone else, what would they have done?” she asked, resuming her pacing. “Given me some community service? Just… let me go on with my life because I got one more criminal off the streets for them?”

I sighed. “Probably.”

Bella opened and closed her mouth a few times, but never said anything. I could see her practically shaking with rage. I knew the feeling, being full of so much pent up anger that you couldn’t control it. I walked over and grabbed an empty vase that was sitting on the table near the entryway.

When I handed it to her, she looked at me like I was insane. Breaking shit always made me feel better, though. Standing back, I let her come to her own decision. A second later, she threw it against the stone wall and it cracked into a thousand pieces. Guilt immediately followed.

“I shouldn’t have –“

“Break anything you want, Bella. Just… get rid of the anger however you need to.”

An hour later, we had nothing glass left in the house. Bella did have a triumphant smile, though, so it was worth it. I got to hear her cuss out nearly the entire Chicago Police Department, which was quite entertaining.

The storm was still raging outside, but thankfully the one inside seemed a little calmer. I sat back on the couch, and this time Bella sat right next to me, her head on my shoulder.

“What was it like… for you? We never talked about it much,” she asked, though I could hear the exhaustion in her voice.

“Bella, we don’t – “

“I’m not selfish enough to think it was only hard on me, Edward. If our situation had been reversed, if I had to watch you go through that… It would destroy me. Maybe I’m not the only one that has to go around breaking things to let go of some of the anger.”

Damn, she too intuitive for her own good.

“I’m sorry I put you through all of that. The trial, the year of so many unknowns.”

“Don’t fucking apologize, Bella,” I snapped. The last thing she needed to be doing was worrying about me and my feelings. “I just need to take care of you now, okay?”

“You always take care of me. You don’t know how much it means to me, to know you’ll always be there. But, I… I’m supposed to take care of you, too.”

My mind was filled with every afternoon I spent with her, every time Seth had to slap a pair of cuffs around her wrists. The first few months where I let myself go. Flashes of her walking into the courtroom sped through my mind, watching her as she got more and more withdrawn every day.

“I didn’t handle things very well at first,” I admitted. “I felt like I ruined you, still do sometimes.” Bella pushed herself closer to me. I laid down on the couch and pulled her on top of me. She sighed, resting her head on my shoulder.

“You didn’t ruin me,” she mumbled before she let me continue.

“I did something you wouldn’t approve of.” I felt her body tense above me. “It’s not that bad, at least I don’t think it is. Just a line, only one.”

“A line,” Bella said, mostly to herself. “A line of…?” _Oh, baby._

“Cocaine.”

“Shit,” she breathed out. Her head popped up from my shoulder, and she started pushing my nose around, actually looking up my nostrils. _Jesus, this girl._

“What are you doing?”

“Doesn’t it mess with your nose? Like, cause bleeding and –“

“Not just one line, Bella. I’m fine.”

“Isn’t it really addictive? I swear to God, if you’re hooked on – “

“I’m not addicted to anything. It was the first time I had done anything since the week before I met you. I’ve never been hooked on anything. I just liked to enjoy them… recreationally.” We never talked about my past drug use much. It often led to various one-night stands, and that wasn’t something we liked to discuss either.

“You only did it once?”

“Yes, I promise. You can ask Emmett the next time you see him. He found me and talked some sense into me.”

“Good. Don’t do it again. People overdose on accident all the time.”

Her worry about me would never not make my heart soar. “I won’t do it again.” There was one thing I had been constantly wondering about, and this seemed like as good a time as any to ask her.

“Did you believe Carlisle when he told you?”

Her eyes snapped to me. We never really talked about my death. It still hurt her, but I needed to know if what I saw was an act or if it was really Bella falling apart because she thought I was dead. “I wanted to, but I thought maybe he just said it so I didn’t turn on you. Like it was his last effort to keep the family safe. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I always kept it in the back of my mind, but if I was going to sell that I thought you were dead, I couldn’t really let myself believe it, you know?

“So… I kind of did, but I kind of didn’t. That doesn’t make much sense, but…”

“No, I understand.” She wanted to believe, but she didn’t want to at the same time. “So, you let yourself believe, to some extent, that I was dead for two months.” Every flinch, every tear she shed was real. She didn’t have to put on an act for the cameras. I never should have gone along with Carlisle’s plan, never should have let her go through that.

“Yes.”

Carefully extracting myself from underneath her, I left her on the couch so I could pace the room. I had gotten her to accept her anger toward the trial, not it was my turn. “So, scream and yell, get whatever anger you have toward me for it out. Don’t keep holding it in, Bella.”

I expected her to scream at me for lying to her, maybe throw something in my direction. I wasn’t prepared for her to run over to me, to bury her head in my chest and wrap her arms as tightly around me as she could. The tears, those I expected.

Her tears were too common for me these days. Sometimes I would catch them falling as she sat on a lounge chair outside staring out at the water. In the middle of the night, I would wake up with dried tears on my chest.

It was her way of coping, and I usually knew how to console her when they came about. It was a good thing, for both of our sakes, that I wasn’t a man that was frightened by a woman crying.

But… how do you care for your wife when her tears are for your death?

All I could do was hold her. Wrap my arms as tightly around her as I could and rub soothing circles in the skin of her back. _I’m here, baby, and I’m never letting you go again._

We stood there for a long time before I felt Bella start to sag against me, probably in exhaustion. I lifted her in my arms and quickly carried her over to the bed. It seemed like she was asleep after a few moments, but then her head craned up to look at me.

“I’m not mad at you,” she whispered.

“Can I ask why not? I watched the trial, Bella. I know what you went through, some of it.”

“Because… you killed yourself for me. You said there were threats, right? I’m assuming that’s why… so how can I be mad at that?” Bella took a deep breath before she went on. “You’re the only person in the world who puts me first. Before yourself… before anyone. I don’t think I say it enough but thank you. For everything.”

Pressing my lips to the top of her head, I pulled her as close as possible. Taking care of her never felt like work, or something I should be thanked for. It was my favorite part of the day, being able to do something for her. Whether it was bringing her flowers or listening to her talk about her day. I loved her. I would do anything for her. Simple as that.

It was never one sided, either. Just as often as I listened to Bella and her problems, she listened to mine. As much of mine as I thought she could know. I would come home with bloody clothes and she would ask if I needed to talk about it, sometimes I did, sometimes I didn’t. She would drop whatever she was doing and just sit with me, be there for me in whatever way I needed. I don’t think she ever realized how much she took care of me, too.

_..Sick.._

The next few months were peaceful, for the most part. Bella still had some lingering issues from her time locked up. Some I knew about, some were still randomly popping up.

A few weeks ago I had her spread across our bed. I trailed my hands up her arms and wrapped my fingers around her wrists. One of Bella’s kinkier sides was that being restrained always turned her on, but this time she stiffened completely under me and started frantically pulling her hands out of mine.

I was careful of her wrists from then on. But, that never slowed her… enthusiasm. As time went on and Bella got back to her normal self, she got very needy. We would be touching constantly throughout the day. If I was working, she was next to me. She would pull me outside with her, just to sit in the sand together. She was past her period of needing space, it seemed, and now needed constant companionship. I loved every second of it.

Especially the moments where her soft kisses turned into frantic touches that led to hours lost in each other. With her newfound need for company came a new frantic need for intimacy as well. It was like she was making up for our lost year. I wasn’t complaining, I was just as desperate for her as she was for me.

We went along with our typical morning routine. Bella teasing me in all of her naked glory. I begrudgingly pulled myself away for our morning run. Bella had gotten back to her usual weight for the most part. She was still on the skinny side, but it was a healthy skinny. There wasn’t much to do on the island, so we both kept ourselves in good shape. She wasn’t small because she was starving herself, and that was all I cared about.

“I hate you, you know,” Bella panted as she relaxed on the couch after our run.

I handed her a bottle of water and sat next to her. “What did I do now?”

“You can run five miles without turning into this,” she waved a hand along her worn out body. She was still slightly out of shape, her typical endurance still coming back to her. She had made great improvements, though.

“You’re getting better.” We sat in silence for a while, Bella working on catching her breath and I was thinking about how I wanted her next. The couch was always a good option. There was no greater sight that seeing Bella use my body for her pleasure, however fast, slow, or hard she wanted.

Bella’s eyes met mine as I unabashedly stared at her and I got a smirk in return. “I suppose I did make a promise about after earlier, didn’t I?”

That was all the encouragement I needed. I pulled Bella into my lap, her legs falling on either side of my hips. With my hands on her hips I pulled her into my painful erection as she pulled her bra off over her head. The second I could, I had one of her rosy pink nipples in my mouth.

Once I was satisfied that both of her breasts had been shown enough attention I attacked her lips, letting my hands roam her bare back.

“I told you we should’ve called.”

“They don’t have a phone, smartass.”

Fucking hell. Bella and I both looked over to the doorway and saw our entire family standing there, all eyes on us. Pulling Bella to me to try to keep her as covered as possible, I stood with her in my arms.

“We’ll be with you in a few minutes,” I told them as we walked by.

“Nice tattoo, Bella!” Emmett shouted after us.

“Thank you,” Bella replied weakly, too polite for her own good.

Once I got Bella into the warm shower I returned my attention to her chest.

“What are you – ah – doing?”

“We’ll be quick,” I whispered against her warm skin. Setting her down quickly, I rid us both quickly of our shorts. Then I had her back in my arms where she belonged.

“Edward, we can’t – “

I adjusted my hold on her, careful not to let her slip, and easily slid two fingers inside her. “You want it just as much as I do, baby.”

“But that doesn’t mean…” I easily slid inside her slick heat. “Fuck.”

We really did need to be quick. I wouldn’t put it past Alice to come banging on the door if our shower took too long. The idea of having to share Bella with others after having her to myself for months left me with a pit in my stomach. I just needed her to myself for a few minutes longer, and I needed her wrapped around me as tight as possible. It didn’t take long for either of us, maybe Bella felt the same desperation I suddenly did.

When we stood hand in hand in front of our family I knew I was in for a scene. Bella dropped my hand and I wanted to reach back out for her, but my mother’s arms were wrapped around me instead. I suffered through hugs and some tears from the women. I could handle taking care of Bella as she cried, but I pushed the women with tears in their eyes toward their husbands.

Eventually, the reunion calmed down.

“Bella? I believe this belongs to you,” Jasper said, handing Bella the bra she was wearing earlier. It took all of my self-control not to smile at the blush that covered Bella’s cheeks.

“Well, this is sufficiently mortifying,” Bella grumbled, fisting the offending garment.

“No, mortifying is admitting to sucking dick and fucking in an office while under oath.” Emmett got smacked in the head by Rosalie for that one. Subtly was never his strong suite.

Bella looked confused for a moment, and then suddenly exclaimed, “Shit! I said that, didn’t I? _Shit_.” She sat back in an open chair. “At least I didn’t say anything about it behind during a meeting,” she mumbled, almost like she didn’t remember she was surrounded by people. “ _Fuck_. I don’t know how to be around actual people anymore. Someone else needs to start talking.”

Perhaps it was cruel, but I loved her ramblings. Her mind was fascinating. She was never thinking what I thought she would be.

“During a meeting?” Emmett asked, a look of wonderment on his face as he stared at me. “How’d you get her to do that? I asked Rosie once and she – “

“Okay, we really don’t need to talk about this anymore,” Bella said, her cheeks bright red.

“Edward gets to have all the fun,” Emmett said, frowning at me. “Meeting blowjobs, faking his death… when do I get to fake my death?”

This was why Emmett was never going to be fit to run the family long term. He saw things the wrong way. It sounded horrible to say, but he was too joyful most of the time. The family wouldn’t survive with someone like that running the shots for an extended period of time. Carlisle and I were more logical, more thoughtful. Emmett would choose the most fun way to get rid of a problem, not the most efficient.

“It wasn’t fun, Emmett. Your brother could have actually died!” Esme scolded, wrapping her arm through mine as we stood together.

I sighed, feeling that she was holding me back rather than comforting me. My feelings toward my mother were mixed these days. She would always be my mother, and I would always love her, but the respect I once had for her was diminished. For one, seeing her blindly follow Carlisle despite his obvious mood changes was somewhat disturbing. How could she not have realized how different he had become? Did she care for him at all if she didn’t care she was sleeping next to a man not even reminiscent of her husband?

Then, there was the way she treated Bella. She adored Rosalie when Emmett brought her home. Emmett got her out of a sticky situation at the strip club she had been working in, but Esme always treated her with respect that she never showed Bella.

I had a feeling it all stemmed from jealously, like it did with Alice and Rosalie. Esme didn’t feel threatened by Rosalie, she would never be replacing her as the matriarch of the family. Bella would, _did_. Status meant everything to Esme, and Bella unknowingly took it from her. It was petty as hell, and it made me look at my mother entirely differently.

Keeping an eye on Bella as she sat with Alice and Rose, I calmed my mother down. “I’m fine, mother.”

“Edward, really, we should have all known the plan. We could have –“

“I did what I had to do. It all worked out in the end, didn’t it?”

Before she could respond, there was a clash and my eyes found Bella, a tray of classes broken at her feet.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t do it! I’m sorry!” she shouted, backing herself into the wall and tugging at her hair. _Fuck._

I pushed Jasper and Emmett out of my way as they stared at Bella in horror. Leaning down in front of her, I tried to think of what would have made her have such a strong reaction. “Hey, it’s okay,” I whispered to her. When I touched her cheek, she flinched. “It’s just me, Bella. Edward.”

Bella’s eyes finally opened, so I extracted her hands from her hair. “You’re okay,” I told her, finally feeling her lean into the hand I had cupping her cheek.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, sounding a little embarrassed.

“It’s okay.”

“I – I’m going to sit outside for a few minutes. You should stay with your family.” Before I could protest, she was out the door and on her way to the beach.

“What happened?” I asked Emmett and Jasper. They were closest to her when she started screaming.

“I think I… fuck, I was just kidding. I just shoved her head a little, I’ve done it before!” Emmett said, guilt clear on his face.

Shoved her head… my mind wracked through everything Bella had told me about her time locked up. It wasn’t much, she didn’t like to talk about any specifics, but I knew the important stuff. Like how Biers slammed her head into the interrogation table.

“Biers grabbed the back of her head and slammed her into a table. It’s not your fault,” I told him.

Before I could leave to go see how she was doing, a strong hand held me back.

“May I?” Carlisle asked, his eyes shifting toward Bella. He caught my hesitation to agree. “I don’t expect you to trust me implicitly, but I would like a few minutes with her. To thank her for what she did.”

I nodded, and Carlisle slipped out the door. I would give him ten minutes before I joined them.

“So, when are you coming home, darling?” Esme asked, looking over at me as I cleaned up the broken glass on the floor.

“A year or two at least. Things need to calm down before we go back.”

“Is Bella doing okay? We never really got to see her when she got out. Carlisle rushed her away, but I guess we know why now…” Alice mumbled. Her concern for Bella was appreciated, and I could see matching concern covering Rosalie’s face. While I knew Esme would never warm to Bella the way she should, I was glad to see that Alice and Rose seemed to truly care for her now.

“She’s getting better every day. She’s still got a lot to work through, though.”

“We were going to celebrate a year’s worth of holidays with you guys tomorrow. Do you think she would like that?” Rosalie asked. Esme huffed from the couch.

“As long as nothing is too over the top, she would love it. Just… be careful around her. Maybe don’t touch her too much. She’s still a little skittish.”

“But she’s okay for you to touch her?” Jasper asked.

“She still jumps if I surprise her or she’s having a particularly… bad day. But usually she’s fine with me.”

“Damn. Fucking Biers… then the fucker that landed her in the hospital…. She’s been through hell.”

“That speech though, damn. You lucked out with her, man.”

Looking out the glass door, I saw Carlisle and Bella talking. The fact that she trusted my judgement enough to trust him again was astounding enough. Having her; her trust, love, and confidence, was something I would never take for granted.

Excusing myself, I went to the beach, just to make sure she was fine with Carlisle being there. As I sat next to her I placed a hand lightly on her back, glad to see that she didn’t flinch at all. “Everything okay?”

Bella rested her head on my shoulder. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“I’ll let you take over from here,” Carlisle said, retreating back to the house.

“I’m sorry I made a mess.”

“That’s not important. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I just… I flashed back to that afternoon with Biers when Emmett touched the back of my head.”

A memory from just the other day flashed through my mind; my fingers intertwined in the hair at the back of her head as I came down her throat. Fuck, did she push down her fear for that?

“I’ve touch the back of your head. Were you scared then?”

Her blush told me that she was remembering the same moment I had. “No. I think it was just a bit of a shock to suddenly have all of these people around. I’m not used to being around everyone again.”

I sighed in relief and placed a soft kiss to her temple. Those always seemed to help her calm down, just a little bit.

Hours later, once everyone had finally retreated back to the main land, Bella and I were blissfully alone again. I had some soft music playing from the outdoor speaker and convinced her to dance with me. Well, it was more like swaying. Bella still wasn’t big on dancing.

“Do you know what tomorrow is?” I asked her.

She contemplated for a moment before responding. “No.”

“Tomorrow marks two years since you did me the honor of becoming my wife.”

“I don’t know if the second year counts, considering I was incarcerated for most of it.”

“Oh, it definitely counts,” I told her. It counted more than the first, in my opinion. “If we can get through a year where both of us are in jail and one of us is on trial for murder, I’d say we can get through anything.”

“Well, here’s hoping there are no more murder trials in our future.”

Yes. I could do without the drama for a while.


	19. Young God

_He says, “Oh, baby girl, you know we’re gonna be legends. I’m the king and you’re the queen, and we will stumble through heaven. If there’s a light at the end, it’s just the sun in your eyes. I know you wanna go to heaven, but you’re human tonight. ~ Halsey, Young God_

_...Sick..._

**ONE YEAR AFTER BELLA’S RELEASE FROM JAIL**

Bella was in the outdoor kitchen cooking. I had started teaching her some basics and she was cooking her first full meal, start to finish, all on her own. She had become quite the little sous chef when we cooked together, but I was a little apprehensive to have her cook on her own. I was prepared to fake a smile and force whatever she ended up with down if need be.

She had banished me from the kitchen, so I went to straighten up the rest of the house. We weren’t messy, but after a while things just needed to be dusted off or put back in place. Fuck, I had become far too domestic after a year on the island. Part of me was itching to get back to Chicago, but another part was wishing we could stay hidden here forever.

Bella was finally back to herself. She smiled more than she cried, and she hadn’t had a flashback or nightmare in a month. I had my wife back, but I was nervous about what going back to the real world would mean for her.

There was a pile of blankets in the corner of our room, so I grabbed them to take them to the washer. Underneath was a stack of papers. I picked them up and thumbed through what looked like lyrics.

I wanted to read them, absorb everything Bella had been feeling when she wrote them, but it felt like an invasion of privacy. Instead, I took the papers out to her in the kitchen.

“It’s almost done! I think I actually pulled it – what are those?” Bella asked as she saw me approach. I sat at the island across from her and handed her the papers. “Oh.”

“When do I get to hear some of it?” I asked her with a smile. This wasn’t like last time when I found her script. I wanted Bella to write about what happened to her, and I wanted to see and hear what she was feeling. It seemed like that was how she coped, it was her way of letting go of the past and moving on.

“Oh, I’m not… they’re just scribbles, Edward. I’m not doing another album or movie.”

“Why not?” That was news to me. Bella even said she might do one on the witness stand. Of course, Call twisted her words around, but still.

“Anything I say… everything I do is going to be dissected so much more now. I’m tired of giving so much of myself to the public when all they do is tear me apart.”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to move on, to let go of their judgement until you get your side out.” Leaning toward her, I took her fidgeting hands in mine. “If you don’t want to, I understand, but I think it would be good for you. Plus, a major ‘fuck you’ to everyone, which is always enjoyable.”

Bella giggled, but turned back toward the stove. She stirred some kind of sauce, her back to me, but I knew she was just thinking. I sat patiently.

“You wouldn’t be upset?” she asked, her voice small.

“No. I’ve actually been looking forward to it,” I admitted honestly.

Bella’s head snapped back to me. “You have?”

“Yes. I love what you do, the way you write about us. It’s my way inside your mind.”

“Well… I do have a couple ideas,” she said with a sly smirk. I had a feeling she had more than a couple.

That night, after we ate a delicious meal, Bella sat down with me and showed me what she had so far. She was adorable in her element. She once told me her musical projects were like a big puzzle; piecing together all of the songs to fit with the story. It was a surprisingly complicated process because Bella had all of these little clues and lyrics that she wanted with specific moments, but she had already made quite a bit of progress.

She was scrolling through her phone, looking for a voice memo about a song she wanted to show me, when her cheeks flamed red.

“What is it?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“It’s not nothing if it got you to blush like that,” I teased.

“Just an old song, one cut from _Hopeless Kingdom_.” She shrugged, obviously attempting to get me to lose interest.

“Can I hear it?”

“I just – “ she sighed, looking surprisingly embarrassed. “Fine.” Bella plugged her headphones into her phone and handed the buds to me.

I happily put them in my ears, eager to hear whatever song she was almost too embarrassed to let me listen to in the first place. My eyes closed as I listened. It was obvious, about half way through, why she was a little embarrassed about the song. It would be a great song to fuck to.

_He says, “Oh, baby girl, don’t get cut on my edges. I’m the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon. There’s a light in the crack that’s separating your thighs. And if you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight._

My eyes snapped open at the last line and found Bella’s. I finished listening to it with my eyes locked with hers. Her blush steadily deepened as the song ended. I pulled the headphones out and tossed the phone away.

“I’m the king of everything, huh?”

“Well, kind of. You practically own Chicago.”

Damn right I do. “Why didn’t it make the album? It’s my new second favorite.” My all-time favorite would always be the first song she gave me. The one she never let anyone else hear.

“It seemed too… personal.”

“Can I have it?” I asked, eager to add to my collection of songs just for me. Those were my pride and joy, the ones she deemed too personal for anyone but me to hear.

“It’s yours.”

_..Sick.._

Just a few months after I convinced Bella to make another album, she left to do just that. She was going to Sweden, apparently there was a great producer who lived there who had agreed to work with her, but I stayed back. It was an unnecessary risk for me to leave the island. It was lonely without Bella, but I knew she was doing what she loved. That was what mattered.

I called her every two days, each time from a new burner phone that Ben brought me. From my online stalking, no one even knew where Bella was since she was released. Still, we wanted to keep on top of things in case people were looking into her and her activities.

Bella had been in Sweden for exactly two months. When I talked to her a couple days ago she said she was nearly finished and that she should be back soon. I told her not to rush, even though all I wanted was for her to be back here. It was a stark contrast after spending nearly a year with her constant companionship. I missed my girl.

Tonight, I decided to go to bed early, because I had nothing better to do. I was disoriented when I felt soft lips on my neck sometime later.

“Edward, wake up,” Bella’s sweet voice whispered in my ear.

I kept my eyes closed, though, because I didn’t want to wake up from my dream. Warm hands trailed down my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist next to me.

“Edward,” Bella said, more sternly this time.

With a sigh I opened my eyes, but she was still there. _Finally._ Bella gave me a breathtaking smile as soon as my eyes opened, but it only lasted a few seconds before I captured her lips with mine and rolled her onto the bed.

“Missed you,” I mumbled against her neck as I let my hands roam along her sides.

“I missed you, too,” Bella whispered, her hands tugging at the hair at the base of my neck. “Do you want to – ah – listen to it?”

I was conflicted. Did I ravish her like I’ve wanted to do since the moment she left, or did I want to listen to what was sure to be her best work yet? With one last kiss to her neck I leaned back and nodded.

We went to the living room and Bella plugged her phone into a little speaker. She eyed me nervously before pressing play.

_Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him. Wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted. But if he’s a ghost, then I can be a phantom. Holding him for ransom._ Jesus. The first line and she’s already called me a killer. It could be taken a million different ways, but it was obvious Bella was holding nothing back this time around. I loved it, loved her getting to be herself. Finally.

_And all at once you are the one I have been waiting for. King of my heart, body and soul. And all at once you’re all I want, I’ll never let you go._ I would never understand how this woman loved me. How she could see me as someone worthy of her heart, body and soul. But, fuck, if that song didn’t make me feel like a king.

_And darling you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis. People started talking, putting us through our paces. I knew there was no one in the world who could take it. I had a bad feeling._ I could feel it, the tension increasing as the songs went on. Even if I didn’t know what these songs were leading to, I would know something bad was coming.

Then… then she got to one called _Look What You Made Me Do_. I made her replay it four times, just so I could find every hidden clue in it. It was a statement, that was for damn sure. Every line was a perfect reference to what she had been through.

_I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time. Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time. I’ve got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined._ The fucking list. She put her fucking hit list in a song. Rising up from the dead… shit it was good.

As I listened to _Getaway Car_ I had the image of us driving out of town, the memory of Bella crying in the car next to me too realistic for my comfort. Then, as _I Did Something Bad_ came on I stared at Bella in complete shock. I kept thinking, this whole time, that she was still scared of the situation. That she needed me to protect her. But, she didn’t. She knew what she had done, but she was taking over the entire narrative. She did something bad, but she didn’t feel bad about it. Fuck, she was amazing.

The album told a phenomenal story. The way she went from our happy, exciting relationship and marriage to the downfall of everything and her arrest and ended it with the tenderness we had here on the island… shit I lived it and I couldn’t believe it happened. Isabella Cullen was a visionary. She was talented beyond measure and I was in complete awe of her.

“When do you start the movie?” I asked her later, after I made her let me listen to it another two times through.

“I called Heidi while I was away. She’s getting everything set up, contracts and such. I’ll have to be gone a lot…”

“I know. I might go to Chicago while you work. I can get in unnoticed and stay with my parents… get some work done.” I figured it would be at least four to six months before she could actually start filming. By then, I would need to get reacquainted with everything going on in Chicago.

“Are you sure that’s safe?” I hated that she worried about me, but I also loved knowing she cared so much.

“Yes, I’ll be fine.”

_..Sick.._

After a year and a half of shooting and whatever else it took to get a movie ready, Bella and I were back in Chicago. I spent some time here a few months ago, living with Carlisle and Esme and doing some behind the scenes work. It was frustrating as hell living with my parents, something I wasn’t eager to ever do again.

But, now, we were in our new home. We tore down our old one but built a new one on the same property. Bella told me she liked this one more, but I had a feeling she would say that about just about anything after what happened to her in the old one. She never went back after Eric took her to the police station that night.

Tonight, her album and film were all being released, and we were having the family over to watch it. Carlisle and Esme had respectfully declined their invitation to come, but I preferred it that way. I didn’t need Esme’s judgy looks.

We had a few new family members to meet. Rosalie and Emmett had a son who was almost two years old, Alec Edward Cullen. Because I would never be having children of my own, Alec would be the heir apparent of the Cullen family. If Bella and I ever had a son, he would overthrow Alec in line, but that wasn’t happening.

Then, there were the twins Alice and Jasper had adopted. The boy, Jared, was a hormonal fucker from what Jasper told me. Always getting into trouble and harassing some of the girls in his new school. He got arrested a few times for shoplifting, and Alice and Jasper asked Bella to scare him so he stopped getting into legal trouble.

How ironic that Bella, the girl who never got a parking ticket, was the Cullen who had spent the most time locked up.

As Bella and I walked downstairs toward our waiting guests, I let my hand trace the opening in the back of her dress. Seeing that tattoo, the Cullen crest inked on her skin… it was sexy as hell. I loved each of Bella’s tattoos, but that one symbolized that she wasn’t just my wife. She was my partner in crime. Literally.

Bella greeted Alice and Jasper, but my attention was on the lanky blond teenager beside them. The girl looked innocent enough, she seemed shy so I didn’t bother her. The boy, Jared, was staring at my wife like she was a piece of meat.

“Whoa, hot,” he muttered. Before I could punch him out myself, Jasper smacked the back of his head. Too lightly for my taste.

“That’s your aunt,” Jasper hissed. “Sorry, Bella. We’re still working on some… issues. Jared thinks it’s cool to be the bad boy. He’s been arrested twice in the last month for shoplifting.”

_Punk_. The sentiment behind why Alice and Jasper wanted to adopt them was nice; Jasper himself was adopted when he was young, and Alice met Maggie at a charity event she put on. They couldn’t break up the twins, so they took them both in. But this kid was trouble. I had zero trust in him, and I was going to keep him as far away from Bella and I as possible. We didn’t need any more problems.

“You think it’s cool, getting arrested?” Bella asked, venom in her voice. “It’s fucking stupid. It’s cool until you’re on trial and you don’t know if you’ll ever be free again. Then you’re just the fucking idiot who threw his life away.”

After Bella’s harsh words, Jared retreated to a couch.

“Was that okay? I did my best Edward impression,” Bella said with a smirk. When I glared down at her she elaborated. “You can be very intimidating. I’m not, I needed inspiration.” _God, I love every single one of your little quirks._

Bella wandered off with Maggie, leaving me with Jasper. “You need to get that kid under control. I’m back and I’m not going to put up with his shit.”

Jasper nodded. “He just keeps getting worse. Doesn’t take any threat seriously, despite us constantly following through. His sister is an angel, though. She’s the only reason he’s still here.”

“Were you as big of a pain in the ass when you first moved in with your parents?”

Jasper laughed. “Probably. Living in the system usually leaves a kid fucked up for a while. Jared is especially troubled, though. Fucker is on my last nerve.”

I tuned out Jasper’s complaining, and Emmett and Rosalie’s entrance, and watched Bella come back in the room. She could have been in Jared’s situation, had Charlie not taken her in. He went about it all wrong, but he did save her from an even more troubled past.

“Hollywood! Look at you all free and shit. Three years clean, eh?” Emmett joked as he came in. Every time he saw Bella he made a crack about her incarceration. He had a look of pure terror the first time he did it and Bella completely ripped him apart. She eventually started letting them slide.

Bella walked over and did a little twirl. “I also haven’t made any awkward sexual confessions under oath in _years_. Aren’t you proud?”

After a cough from Jared on the couch, Bella mumbled something about being careful about what she says. Pulling her under my arm, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

Rosalie approached us then, holding the hand of a very important boy. “His babysitter is coming to pick him up in an hour, but he wanted to meet his aunt and uncle.”

Damn. I’m an uncle. Alec looked like a mini Emmett, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. If he inherited Emmett’s habits, Rosalie was in for a world of hell.

Bella and I leaned down to Alec’s level. “TV!” he said, pointing at Bella.

“He’s seen you on the television before,” Rosalie said with a smile. It was obvious this little kid had become her whole world. She seemed softer, kinder. It was a nice change.

“Hi, Alec. I’m Bella,” she whispered, obviously unsure how to interact with the child. Bella met thousands of people, but this two-year-old had her nervous. I would never understand her mind.

Alec was anything but shy. He wrapped his arms around Bella’s neck and pulled her into a tight hug. It made my chest tighten, because despite my countless conversations with Bella about our child situation, I knew she would have been a fantastic mother. Even though she didn’t have any good motherly role models, she would have loved her child with everything she had.

“No more cry,” Alec said as he pulled back and gave Bella a stern glare.

“There was a segment about you on the news the other day, they showed clips from the trial.”

“No, no more crying,” Bella whispered.

Alec turned to me with a gasp. “You gone!”

I smirked despite myself. Kids always annoyed me, but I had to admit Alec was quickly changing my opinion on them. If one of Emmett’s kids wasn’t annoying as hell, they couldn’t all be bad. “They haven’t taken me down, yet, buddy.”

I sat with Alec for a few more minutes, hearing him talk about his day. When I looked around for Bella, I noticed both her and Jared were missing from the group. Leaving Alec with Rosalie, I found them in the kitchen. Bella was reaching for glasses from a cabinet, and Jared had his hand on her ass.

I had him against the refrigerator, my hand firmly gripped around his neck. A simple twist and his spine would be snapped. “If you touch my wife again it will be the last thing you ever do. You need to learn some goddamn respect if you’re going to be part of this family.”

My momentary softness with Alec dissipated. I had to let go of the peace I had come to know from my time on the island. I was only soft with my wife. Everyone else was a threat again.

_..Sick.._

It wasn’t the smartest decision to get no sleep the night before my first day back at work. Bella and I both had the same desperation for each other, though. Our bubble had popped, and we were enjoying the last few hours before it was gone. And seeing her film, hearing the songs she wrote about me, us, made me want her all the more.

Bella had struggled with the articles that said she was with me because of my money, but I had seen plenty saying similar things about me. People thought I was too old for her, though five years is hardly that big of a difference. They also said I was with her because of her status, but I had no problem admitting Bella’s status was part of what attracted me to her. She’s the best at what she does, and I love that. I love her talent, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love her for more than that. Seeing her excel was just a perk.

We got a few small naps in, but a majority of the night was spent wrapped up in each other. When I woke up from one nap, I looked over and saw I had an hour before I had to get up for work. The smart thing to do would be to go back to sleep, but that wasn’t my plan.

Bella was asleep in my arms, her back pressed tightly against my chest. She wouldn’t need to go anywhere today, so I didn’t feel bad waking her up one last time. Starting with kisses to her neck, I felt her starting to wake up in my arms.

“Bella,” I moaned into her neck. My hands trailed along her soft skin, finding every dip and crevice she had. She moaned as one hand reached her pussy. I played with her like that for a while, simply enjoying having her in my arms for the time being.

“Edward.” Bella was, apparently, done with the playing. Her hips started meeting my fingers as they lazily entered her pussy over and over. She protested as I pulled my hands away from her but sighed into the bed as I rolled her onto her stomach. She didn’t need me to tell her to arch her back, she got herself into the perfect position for me to have full access to her.

“Fuck, I love you,” I whispered against her neck as I slowly entered her. She was hot, wet, _perfect_.

One of Bella’s hands gripped the sheets beneath her, but the other blindly reached up and ended up on my shoulder, digging into me. An internal clock started ticking down in my mind, like our impending separation and return to the real world. I pulled Bella as close as possible and pressed myself against her, forcing her further into the mattress. If I was too rough or too heavy, she didn’t say anything. The only sound she made was a sexy little huff every time I entered her.

I wanted to take things slow, saver every touch, but when I kissed my way along Bella’s neck and saw the fresh tattoo on her back, I couldn’t control myself. My thrusts became rougher and Bella’s huffs turned into louder moans. There was a crash somewhere, but I ignored it as I felt Bella’s orgasm start to take over her body, leading me to my own.

My heartrate returned to normal as I rested against Bella’s back for a few minutes. With a kiss to her bare shoulder I got up, noticing the contents of a nightstand covering the floor. I pulled a blanket from the end of the bed and wrapped it around Bella. She was nearly back to sleep but had a satisfied smile on her face.

I got ready for work quickly. There was no set time I had to be in, I was the boss, but I had a lot of shit to get done. Bella read me early reviews as I got dressed, the excitement clear in her voice. My chest tightened as I heard her read them, because just a few years ago everyone was saying she would never be able to come back from her arrest. It was still early, but I was still unbelievably proud of her.

Bella caught me staring as she sat on the bed, still wrapped in the blanket I put over her, and a soft blush covered her cheeks. _This woman._ I spent all night in bed with her, but one look can make her blush.

“It’s a little late for the blush, sweetheart.”

Bella asked me about my day, comparing it to the first day of school. I supposed it kind of was like that, but I wasn’t nervous about it. It wouldn’t be long before people realized they couldn’t mess with us like they had been trying in the past.

“Would you like to meet me for dinner?” I asked Bella, finding my phone and wallet on the floor with the wreckage from the nightstand.

“Sorry about that,” Bella said, another deep blush on her cheeks.

“Mmm. I’m not,” I said, thinking about her petite little body moving against mine. “So, dinner?”

“Okay. Are you actually going to show up this time?” she asked jokingly, but I could hear a little bit of fear in her voice as well. It was strange to think that was the last time our lives could have been considered normal. Bella had just finished her tour, we had gotten past our fight about my not telling her about Aro… it was four years ago.

We were completely different, but also the same. We never gave up. We both fought to keep the other, no matter the cost. Bella lured Aro out of hiding to get me out of jail. I tried to run away with her when they were going to take her in and stood by her as often as I could when she was locked up.

We had a fucked up story, but it worked for us. We would find our new normal, and then change it a year later. The day to day business wasn’t the most important thing to either of us anymore. As long as we came home to each other, that was what mattered.

“Yes, I promise.”

My first day back was spent mostly going over paperwork. The mayor had made sure I didn’t face any legal repercussions for faking my death, as promised three years ago. Coming back from the dead meant a lot of other shit had to be redone, though. All of my assets went to Bella following my death, but they got frozen while she was incarcerated. She never asked about it during our extended vacation, but she was still in charge of all of my accounts, up until now.

My afternoon was spent splitting up our assets, approximately half in her name and half in mine. If, God forbid, we ever got into another situation like we were in three years ago, the government would never have a hand over all of my assets again.

About an hour before I had to leave to meet Bella for dinner, Emmett and Jasper threw Felix and Demetri Volturi in my office. Their eyes widened as they stared at me.

“You fucker. You set us up,” Felix spat out.

It was hard not to be offended that he thought I could be taken down so easily. “Of course, I did. Your father could never get to me, what makes you think you could?”

“My father was stuck on some old rivalry, he was more concerned with mental torture than physical,” Demetri said, earning a smack from his brother. Demetri was the slower of the two, always letting shit slip that he shouldn’t, just because he wanted to be right.

I was concerned, though, about how much they knew of the rivalry. Did they know Bella was their half-sister? It seemed unlikely. She mentioned something Felix told her at my funeral about conjugal visits. I doubted even Felix was as twisted as that.

“As of this moment, we’re even. Your father tried to kill my wife, you tried to kill me. You stay out of my way, I’ll stay out of yours.” It was a lie, of course. I just needed them to stay away from me for a while.

In my absence, Emmett had let them regain their footing following Aro’s death. I told him to let them go, because I wanted to be the one to deal with them. By the looks of fear in their faces when they walked in here, they knew I wouldn’t be as forgiving as Emmett had been the last few years.

“Our father is dead and you’re alive. We’re not even,” Felix said, his eyes dark with anger. He was still out for revenge for his father.

“Yes, we are. I’m not my brother. If you get in my way I will take matters into my own hands, do you understand?”

Our eyes met for a minute, Felix and I, and I knew I would still have to keep a close eye on him. He wouldn’t forgive his father’s murder so easily. Just like I wouldn’t forget his father breaking into my home and attacking my wife.

Just like that, I was back. Gone were afternoons spent in bed with Bella, listening to the ocean waves. My mind was filled with all of the ways I could tear apart every Volturi in town.

I made sure to get to the restaurant ten minutes early. Ironically enough, we were at the same place I was supposed to meet Bella the day I got arrested. Bella walked in right on time, looking entirely too pretty. She was in a long, tan overcoat with all black on underneath. She probably didn’t do it on purpose, but she dressed every bit the powerful mob wife that she was.

Standing as she approached, I helped her out of her coat and into her chair. “I was ten minutes early,” I told her with a smile. I saw the instant look of relief she had as she walked in. She was nervous.

“We’re already off to a better start than last time, then,” she said, stretching out her neck over the dark cotton turtle neck she was wearing. Bella hated turtle necks, always had.

“What’s with the sweater?”

“ _Someone_ left three hickeys on my neck,” she replied with a playful glare.

It was never my intention to leave the hickeys, but I had noticed them this morning. I couldn’t find it in me to regret them. “Hmm. Lucky bastard.”

We ordered without having to look at the menu. This was one of our regular places to meet for lunch years ago, and not much had changed. “So, how’s it doing?”

A smile stretched across Bella’s face. “It’s number one… everywhere, practically. It’s weird, though. Doing this again. I don’t feel the same pressure. If they like it, great. If they don’t, fine.”

“They like it, though,” I told her. I had read a few articles about it during the day, reputable ones that would separate her album and movie from her actual trial, and everyone loved it.

Bella got that cocky smirk on her face, one of my absolute favorites. “Yeah, they do.”

Just as I was finally back in my element at work, Bella was back in hers, too.

_...Sick…_

Bella started planning a tour nearly the second the album was released. My company was sponsoring the tour, even though she had offers from several other companies. She did one interview with Oprah after the release, but that was it. She had been on tour for six months and still had one to go.

We made a deal before she left. We wouldn’t go longer than two weeks without seeing each other for a few days. I went to her, and she made trips back home to see me. It was a nonnegotiable term with her tour schedule. This time it was my turn to visit her.

She was playing the first of two shows in Los Angeles this weekend. My flight got delayed a little bit because of a storm in Chicago, but I still made it with a few hours to spare before the show started. There were more whispers than usual as I walked through the corridor toward Bella’s dressing room.

I saw Ben and Eric standing outside her door. “What’s going on?”

“She kicked us out.”

They had strict orders to never let her out of their sight. Work for me was calm for the moment, most people were keeping their distance because they knew the lengths we would go now, to protect our own. But it was only a matter of time before things got messy again. I wasn’t letting Bella get in the middle of it anymore, and I needed Ben and Eric to make sure of that.

“Why?”

“She got a phone call a couple of hours ago. Started pacing around the room, muttering to herself. Then kicked everyone out. She’s supposed to be getting ready, but she locked herself in there.”

I tried the handle, and it was locked, so I knocked but got no response. “Bella?”

The click of the lock was followed quickly by Bella swinging open the door. Her makeup artist, Chrissy, quickly started talking about how she needed to start getting her ready, but Bella pulled me inside and slammed the door again.

“Are you okay?” I asked her, taking in her wide eyes and shaking hands.

“No. I don’t know… _fuck_.”

She started pacing and I counted to thirty. By the end of my countdown she hadn’t said anything, so I intervened. Standing in front of her, I put my hands on her shoulders to stop her. “What is it?”

Bella took a deep breath and finally looked me in the eyes. “In about twenty minutes I’m going to get a call from the executive producer of the Super Bowl asking me to take over the show.”

“Okay,” I said carefully. “Is that bad?”

Bella’s eyes widened in exasperation. “It’s the end of October! They had already announced the performer a month ago, but he overdosed this morning. He’s fine, but he’s in no shape to put on the show now. I guess I was second on their list.”

“I don’t see the problem, Bella.”

“The problem is that I still have a month on this tour, and then awards season. The Super Bowl is right in the middle of it. And this,” she gestured wildly at everything around her, “was supposed to be winding down. I was supposed to go home and be with you and – “

“Okay, calm down,” I told her, pulling her to the couch. Sitting her down in front of me, I sat on the coffee table with her hands in mine. “So, you’re worried I’ll be mad if you do it?”

“I… don’t know. I’m tired. This tour is big and it’s been going on a long time. The Super Bowl… that’s a show you plan six months in advance. I’d have four. It’s a _lot_ of work, Edward. I’ve been looking forward to starting to slow down for a while. After tour I was going to go home, then take one more swing at the award circuit and just… relax for a while.”

“You can still do that, and do the Super Bowl, right?” Truly, I had no clue what the big issue was.

“I would go from being on tour to being in rehearsals for twelve hours a day for the next four months. Then have awards season right on top of that. I miss you, it’s been months since we’ve spent more than a couple days together.”

I grabbed her face in my hands, forcing her to look me in the eyes. “Don’t make your decision based on that. I’ll always be there, no matter what. If you’re tired and worn out, don’t do it. I don’t want you working yourself too hard. But, it would be a hell of a way to go out, wouldn’t it?” Bella’s eyes perked up at that. “You told me this was the last album you were putting out, at least for a while. A Super Bowl performance would be a nice ending for your story, wouldn’t it?”

“But – “

“I have every bit of confidence that you can pull this off. I can work remotely from wherever you’re rehearsing if I need to. We’ll make it work, Bella, we always do. The only decision to make is whether _you_ want to do it or not.”

Bella was quiet for a few minutes, but her eyes never left mine. I meant everything I said, we would make her schedule work. I could work remotely, for the most part, if I had to. I missed my wife, but I never wanted to hold her back.

The phone rang, breaking us of our trance. I grabbed it from the table next to me and handed it to her. Neither of us had to look at it to know who was calling. Bella answered it with shaking hands and exchanged a few pleasantries with the man on the other side. She paused and looked at me, a smile on her face.

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

_..Sick.._

I thought Bella was exaggerating the work that went in to planning a Super Bowl halftime show. It turned out she under sold the process. Maybe it was because she had a few months less than usual, or maybe it always took this much time, but I saw her more when she was on tour than when she was planning the show.

She managed to have the entire planning team spend the next few months in Chicago, so her rehearsals at least took place here. I loaned her team out one of my big conference rooms in my office downtown, and they worked later than I did most nights.

My girl was in a room with men and women twice her age, but it was obvious she was running the show. No detail went past her, and I was pretty damn impressed.

To top it all off, Bella was nominated for just about every major award for _reputation_. There was no doubt in my mind she was about to become the most awarded actor in Academy Award history. Every article I read, every news segment I saw, I fell more in love with the hard worker she was.

We had been staying in the penthouse for the last month. It was closer to Bella’s rehearsal space, not that she spent much time here anyway. I was proud of her, undoubtedly, but I also really fucking missed my girl. It wasn’t long into her rehearsals that I stopped trying to make plans to meet her for lunch or dinner, because she usually couldn’t make it. It was frustrating, but it was only for another few weeks until the show was over.

Walking into the penthouse at midnight, I assumed I would be the only one there. When I got up to our bedroom I was shocked to see Bella sitting up against the headboard, fidgeting with her fingers.

“You’re here,” I said in shock.

“Got kicked out of my own rehearsal,” she said sadly. “Everyone told me to take the weekend off.”

It was a surprise to me, but everyone working with her truly seemed to want to see her succeed. They weren’t just in it for the money, they all wanted to put on the best show they could. I was glad to see someone was watching out for her.

“You okay?” The shrug I got in response was my clue that she wasn’t. Kicking off my shoes, I got into bed right beside her. The moment her head was on my shoulder I felt Bella’s body start to shake with silent tears.

“I’m tired and stressed and I don’t think I can do this.”

“Yes, you can. You defy the odds at every turn. It’s hard now, but you’re going to put on the best halftime show in a couple weeks, and all of this work will be worth it. Then, you’re going to win some more fancy awards, and I’ll be right beside you. You can’t do all of that with no sleep, though.”

Bella sighed, but eventually got herself situated in bed beside me. I was still in my suit, but she didn’t seem to mind. “I know.”

“Get some sleep. We’ve got a whole weekend to do nothing ahead of us.”

“Thank you, Edward,” Bella mumbled, already half asleep as she said it. I kissed her forehead gently, willing to do absolutely anything for the woman in my arms.

Six years ago, I was probably strung on out cocaine with a random blonde in my lap, thinking I owned the world. Now, I had one of the most respected women in the entertainment industry as my wife and I did run the Chicago crime world. It was hard to imagine what my life would have become if Bella hadn’t shown up at that benefit. But, despite all of the trouble we’ve gotten into during our time together, I didn’t regret it. I didn’t ruin her like I once thought I did.

We both made each other stronger, brought out the best in each other. But, we were still young. God knows what kind of trouble we were going to get into next.

**_…Sick…_ **


End file.
